Video Transcript: Singleness

Well, we've done a video on marriage, but today we're going to do a video on singles domestic tranquility. The full scope of this course is to look at domestic life wherever you live, whatever you're doing, going God's way, yes, but let's unpack it. Let's look at all the detail as much as we can. As we look at the brush strokes of the human experience in this course, we looked at the dark sides. We looked at temperament and God's design for us, we've looked at behavior, addictive behaviors, and marriage, husbands and wives, looking at the ups and downs of life, a fair proof of your marriage. For some of you, as you're maybe be in prison or jail, or you've just come out and you're getting reestablished out of jail and prison and now into regular life. Or perhaps you come out of addiction and you're full into recovery. Or you've gone through some difficulty, some trauma, and God is, of course, blessing you with New Days, New Beginnings. And you are not married, and you're saying to me, Oh, I hear about marriage all the time, pastor and Oh, Dr Mark, yeah, good teaching on the marriage, on the marriage. Video, wonderful. I'm single. Yeah, that helps. What does it mean to be single? So we're going to look at healthy single life, healthy singleness. And with the slides here, godly homes, an ungodly world, there's all kinds of pressure. And you may recall, with the slides that we had on healthy marriage, there's so many messages around us in the media saying, hey, casual sex, hey, immorality, hey, shacking up with someone who's not your wife or your husband's Okay, might even help you. But in the end, that high that you get when doing that is temporary and the hurt is so much more profound. So what about singles? What about singles? Why speak of singles in a study about the home, about marriage and life, because it all begins at the home. As we think about our dark sides. It'll go back to what? Oh, yeah, our family of origin. Our family of origin because mom and dad and how they raised us, that's based upon the family, families that they came from. Before. Remember I talked about Dr Wes and Leslie Parrott, about the Christmas morning, about the pillow whacking. Well, in single life, we also look at the home too, next about the expectations between spouses, but also and where that came from, as far as where she came from, and where we always did this. And then he says, Well, we always did that with Christmas Day or Easter or birthdays and other expectations in the home, but the single person too. How do we then live? As Dr Francis Schaeffer wrote in his famous book, how should we then live based on scripture, based upon research? Because often singles are seeking the right mate or considering the direction of their lives. Some people choose to be single. The rest of you know from that point when they're 20, 22, 30, and they realize, you know, this is just me. I'll be single for the rest of my life. And I know people personally, who have chosen this. Others, they're still trying to figure it out. I, they know in their heart of hearts, I, I'm called by God to be married, but I'm not sure who I want to do the right thing, and that God lead me to the right person and but, but things are such that it's just taking longer than expected. Singleness, God's word is to govern one's life. During this time, God is still in charge. He's still in control. He is guiding you. If you're surrendered to Him, He will, He'll bring you through and also the message here too today is that whichever direction God brings you as a single person, it's okay. God will bless God will fulfill you. And we also continue to look at how I am, the problem Me, myself and I as a person who needs. Christ every day and every moment, because we get in the way of this truth, how God's word is to govern one's life during this time of discovery and direction. Being single is not wrong. It's not a sin. Perhaps you and I have heard this from some people over the years, I've been married 28 years this year, 2018 and seriously, I have heard people say, well, when are you going to get married? Well, when is this going to happen with this person? Why doesn't this person get married. I just don't understand it, as if to say underneath that marriage is the thing, not on time and expectations, expectations, expectations, cultural expectations. Yes, the human race will continue. Many people do get married. But maybe you're watching this, and you're saying to yourself, just seems to me that God is leading me to be single. It's not wrong, nor is it a weakness or a flaw in one's character. Hebrews 13, Marriage is honorable, is not saying it is mandatory, or the alternative is not honorable. And let's be careful before playing matchmaker, if that's who you are, Hold on. Wait a minute. Yeah, she's available, but doesn't mean that she wants to get into a relationship with a man or vice versa. Matchmaking can be dangerous and also bring more hurt than help. Well, the Bible and singles. Many singles in the Bible, Paul, Daniel, Jeremiah, Elijah and Jesus Christ Himself, 33 years single. Of course, you say, Oh, come on, Dr Mark, He's God. Amen, He is God. However, Jesus modeled singleness, devotion to the Lord and to, again, the person that God. Of course, Jesus Christ is God, but of course, becoming fully God, fully man, true to self and the perfect, because he was perfect. Of course, we know this. And of course, models for us to be true to ourselves, but also true to other people. And how Jesus Christ was the perfect model of this relationally spirit, spiritually relationally all the way around. We look at Paul, look at Daniel, Jeremiah, Elijah, many examples, perhaps others, including Timothy, Mary and Martha and so on. And we read of widows as well. They stay faithful to the Lord in those stories and context, and they were faithful to doing the Lord's will. Matthew 19 says, For the there are eunuchs who were born thus from their mother's womb, and there are eunuchs who were made eunuchs by men, and there are eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake. He was able to accept it. Let him accept it. In other words, men who were born without, if they were born to be single, it's okay for them to be single. It's right here in Matthew 19. And here it is, underline, eunuchs who have made themselves eunuchs for the kingdom of heaven's sake, we need to accept it. I Corinthians 7 says, But I say to the unmarried and to the widows, it is good for them if they remain even as I am, therefore single also verse 32 to 35 he who is unmarried cares about the things of the Lord. He can do more for the Lord, do more for God for the kingdom, or she can do more for God and for the kingdom, male and female. Why some are singles? Well, let's take a look. First, some are not ready to marry yet. They're making preparations, but not ready yet. Some people, such as my son, who's now 21 and he'll be 22 this coming February, and he's already engaged. We could tell too, as he turned 18, and as he turned 19 and 20, he really was longing for that mate, and thank the Lord God brought him to his fiance today, who loves Jesus and loves him, and they're going God's way. And if you're a parent watching this, pray for your kids. Pray that God will lead them to that person, or they choose to remain single, as they're looking here at the single study that God will bless them with an understanding of God's purpose for them and their lives to do more for the kingdom of God. Also, some have not found the right person, okay. And also, some don't want to get married. As Paul said, it's not wrong. It's okay. Some have been made single. Some cannot marry. Look at Matthew 19:9 and I Corinthians 7:10-11. Many examples and dangers of the single lifestyle. Yes, as there are dangers in the marital lifestyle, as far as looking at affair, proofing the marriage and, of course, addiction and other other habits that interrupt and truly bring division rather than unity, the dangers and the single lifestyle, the risk of loneliness. We were made to be with others. That's where the body of Christ can come together and say, We are there for those who are single. We have places of volunteering, service groups for singles only, people to bond with God and each other, and they don't have to be married. And scriptures that support this Genesis 2, Ecclesiastes 4, Proverbs 17, Proverbs 18 and also being lonely can lead to depression, desperation, bitterness, jealousy. If you're single, watching this and you're saying, Man, I I've been I go home every night and I don't talk to anybody. I'm online all the time. Yeah, you're on Facebook and you're emailing your or instant messaging or doing Pinterest or whatever Instagram with your friends, but there's nothing like face to face, contact and connecting with someone else in the Lord's love and in support of each other. Don't let loneliness lead you to the wrong mate as well. Perhaps you discover eventually that God is calling to be married and early in your life, not yet, maybe later life. Yeah, here's the time. But if you go God's way, God will lead you to that right person who loves God and will love you in commitment, potential for selfishness, ego, where we edge God out ego, edge. Ego, edging. God the g of ego. Out the O of ego, selfishness, pride, where it's all about me. Selfishness is always a sin, of course, as we find in Scripture. And also a man who isolates himself, seeks his own desires. He rages against all wise judgment, Proverbs 18 and we are commanded to care about others, to love God and love other Love Lord, your God, love your heart, mind, soul and strength and love your neighbor as you love yourself. So we are God focused, and therefore we are able to bless others as well. Sexual temptation we live in a sinful society. Said it earlier, media all around us saying, Hey, it's okay. You can do it. You can go right on in and have sex with anybody you want. Hold on. Yeah, the act is great for the moment, but once it's done, the damage is done too, because the sex act is spiritual. It's a spiritual act, if you read carefully in the Old Testament, as we look at Isaac and we look at Jacob and and and the forefathers. Look at the fathers of Israel. You read in Scripture how Isaac married Rebekah, how Jacob married Rachel, and so on. It means that, and then the Hebrew tradition, at that time, they would go into the tent and do the sexual act to marry her, he marries her and vice versa, because we live in a sinful society where where fornication is not condemned. And the truth of the matter is that spiritual act of the sex act, sex act is the event. The marriage is first, and we could be very careful of how we approach that, of course, as we've seen in the ME TOO movement, if you've been paying attention to that in the media, of course, others who've been who've been giving outcry to sexual abuse, it can damage the soul. I Corinthians 7says marriage created to satisfy desires. Marriage is created to satisfy desires. Singles do not have this provision. They are more likely to face such temptations, but with the help of the Body of Christ and being with other groups. Singles and love and, of course, other mixed company, God willing, you're able to avoid those temptations, get through the issues you're dealing with right now, and have healthy relationships that will empower and support well. Fornication is never acceptable to God. Don't ever believe that God wants you to be happy more than he wants you to be holy and faithful. I Corinthians 7 and living the single lifestyle, accept your lot in life. Acceptance is huge. And as we accept this, we're looking at how God is saying I want you to be my man of God. I want you to be my woman of God. I want you to become all I've created you to be so that you can fulfill the purpose that I've given to you. Please follow me, trust me, God says, and as you do, I will do major wonders in your life and work through you to bless others, to help those who are suffering, to build the kingdom of God, to build up The Body of Jesus, the church, because God cares about the broken he wants to mend and where God will fix people in his time, but he's calling you, oh, single person, single people. I've given you the gift to have more time to devote to that very task, to help support and love on and give that hand up, not the hand out to those who need God's touch. God love and prayer. Thank you for hearing me on that and God bless you as you go forward now, as we create domestic tranquility and domestic balance for the married person, for the single person. And of course, we go God's way, every way. God Bless.