Video Transcript: "What Advice would you give Single Christians?" Pastor Chan Q&A

Marry a man? Again, that's what I see, biblically? Okay, is it my feelings or whatever? It's just what I see there. You know, we make a big, big deal about marriage, and I just want us to be careful with that. And especially Christian college. I went to Christian college, so I know what a big deal marriage is in there, and and I wanted to be married. I mean, that was such a huge desire in my heart. And my biggest times of depression were always over girls. I don't know how you get around that; we just have to be careful. When you read first Corinthians seven, it just says, Let each person lead the life The Lord is assigned to him, to which God has called him.

First, Corinthians, seven, you know? I mean, basically he says, you know those you're married, act as though you're not. In other words, First Corinthians is all about, we've got to get the gospel out there. We've got to be out making disciples My wife and I have been trying to write this book for three years about marriage, I realized that two things. Remember, I told you in Hong Kong there were two things the Lord wanted me to focus on? One was discipleship. The other was family. In the sense that I think we focus on the family too much in our Christian circles, and it's not about the spread of the gospel. We've put the gospel second, and we mask it very cleverly and say, Oh, God, first marriage, second and then the ministry. IWhat does that even mean? God and the ministry are tied together, loving him and serving him. I don't see that in Scripture as two different things. What I see in Scripture is that marriage is temporary. I'm not going to be married to Lisa in heaven. This is eternal. First Corinthians seven is all about there's something bigger than your marriage or your singleness. It says the time is short. From now on, those who are married should live as though they're not. What's he saying? That's the same Paul that says Husbands love your wives, and gives that beautiful picture of wives submitting to their husbands and this thing about honoring marriage. And yet, in First Corinthians seven, in the context of the gospel and getting the gospel out there, he's saying there's something bigger than marriage, bigger than you two getting along. And actually, if you two would focus on the gospel, you'd be amazed at how well you would get along. You guys remember, I'm a big Laker fan, and so, yeah, good. That's a good thing. But I remember years ago, you guys don't really like them: oh well, you guys were Kings, you're Sacramento. Yeah, great season. They're not gonna be here next year anyway. I remember, remember when Shaq and Kobe were just fighting with each other, and everyone in Southern California was just so mad: you idiots,  there's something bigger in the line other than, 'Oh, there's the diesel's team.' 'No, it's my team.' You guys, just win, you know? And when they were both focused on winning, both focused on the championship. You remember  where Kobe would jump into Shaq's arms. You know why? Because we're just focused on the goal. We're focused on the prize. When you just look at each other, you're going to start fighting and bickering, and you forget there's something bigger going on, and the rest of the world is looking on. And the same way that happens in so many marriages, we start looking: I don't like this about you. I don't like this about you. I don't like how you did. You guys, everyone in heaven's going, What are you two doing? There's something bigger on the line here than you two getting along. It's about the gospel. It's about people literally coming before God, standing before God and him saying 'Depart from me. I never knew you.' That's a big, big deal, a lot bigger than you being in a happy marriage. And if you would focus on that, you'd be amazed at how you'd come together. And if churches would focus on the mission out there. I mean, when you go on a mission trip with a team of people, what happens? You naturally just bond, right? You know, first day on the mission trip, you look around, you're like, I don't want to hang out with any of these people, right? Haven't you been on those trips where you think this is the weirdest, most eclectic group, I would never choose to hang with them. What happens by the end? It's like, I love you. Carefully. I'm not going to be with you anymore. Why? Because you were on a mission together, see, and that's what happens when you're on a team together, where you're all focused on the championship, you care less about your differences. You're after something. And that's really what's happened in my family. I shared Honey, I think, or you need to start a church, you know, which everyone would say, No, don't do that. The first year should all be about you two alone, just loving each other. You know, don't start in ministry yet. You know, don't invite people in your house. We've always had people living with us. People need a place like, come on, live with us. Let's show you what a family is, which is about the kingdom. As we've done that and both been focused on the kingdom. Man, we are so tight. You know, our life is a mission trip, and so me and my kids, Man, we're tight. And I say that because it starts off when you're single. If you're all just about, I gotta find that person, find that person, find that person, then you find that person. Then you hear, Oh, okay, we gotta really work on our relationship, our relationship. Oh, we have a kid. We really gotta focus on that kid. Oh, we gotta keep... No, the kingdom, the kingdom, the kingdom. And you know, God may choose to give you a partner that will actually help you with the kingdom, and praise God for that. Like I shared with you, man, I thank God for the wife that he's given me, because it's enabled me to do things that I don't think I'd be able to do for the Kingdom. And now I'm raising a little army for the kingdom. Seriously! I mean, you look at it's like: gosh,  if just my kids walk with the Lord man, then that's great, you know, and they're making disciples, then I've done a pretty awesome thing. But I've got to model for them, a guy who's focused on the kingdom, because I want them to marry guys that are focused on the kingdom and not on just building a little home for ourselves and keeping ourselves safe and make sure we can retire and do all the things we want to do. The couples that go after that, it's kind of like when Jesus says, if you try to save your life, you're going to lose it. You lose your life for my sake, and you're going to find it. And I found that even with the family, if you try to just focus and have this safe, little, cute family, you're gonna end up losing it, but you lose your family in the sake of man, we're gonna be about the kingdom. It's amazing how you'll find it, because if you're following the Spirit, the Spirit's gonna lead you to going out and making disciples. And here's the bottom line, there has never been in the history of man, has there ever been a man and a woman who were married and both walking in the Spirit who have gotten a divorce. It's never happened. It's never happened where a man and woman are both following the Spirit of God and divorced. It can't happen. There's only one Spirit. So if you're both following, the issue is, is one or the other, or both could care less what the Spirit is saying to do right then, and how you should humble yourself and serve the other, or pursue this ministry or that it's it's when you focus on yourself and focus on the family that you're going to destroy it. So those are my thoughts.