Video Transcript: Personal Finances Part 3 - Three winning attitudes towards succeeding in your personal finances

Again, my name is Steve Elzinga, and in this session, we're going to be looking  at three attitudes and four skills. And this is kind of a general talk, but I think  sometimes you have to step back from the nuts and bolts of money and look at  sort of your disposition, or the way you see yourself, just just to step back. So  we're going to start with three attitudes, and then talk about skills. Attitudes are  sort of the way you think about things, and skills are things that you can learn.  And I think we live in a world that is right now focused on skills. You go to  school, you learn how to read, you learn math, you learn science, and the whole idea is we have to teach you these specific things, and then you can succeed.  You want to learn how to play soccer, football, and you go to a thing, and a  coach teaches you, and you learn these skills, and the better you are at the skill, the better you will be at the sport or education, or whatever it might be. But I  think I think attitude is way more important than skill. That your attitude about  yourself and about life and about what is possible is way more important than  skills. Skills can be taught at any time. So instead of teaching our children all  these skills, I think it's way more important to give them certain attitudes. Once  they have the right attitude, they can figure out and eventually learn how the skill will follow. So I want to talk about three attitudes first, as they relate to your  personal finances. Three winning attitudes towards succeeding in your personal  finances. Attitude number one, I am somebody. Proverbs 4:23, keep Be careful  how you think, because your life is shaped by your thoughts. You aren't who you are. You are who you think you are if you don't think you're very smart, then that  thought about yourself tends to limit you. If you don't think that you're worth a  certain amount of money, then people won't pay you that certain amount of  money. Your attitude shapes everything. Believe you are somebody. The  problem is we tend to see ourselves through the eyes of others. So what are  people saying about me? Oh, he's kind of slow. He's kind of I remember singing  somewhere, and the person in front of me turned around and looked at me and  said, Who made you think that you can sing? Well, it took many years for me to  get over you know, I started thinking, Well, what's wrong with my voice? And  every time I heard my voice about what is wrong, I let her few words dictate to  me how I saw myself. What does that person know? When I was in third grade,  my father went to this sort of teacher parent meeting, and my third grade  teacher said to my father, your son just has a hard time with reading, and I think  you better teach him a trade, because he'll never be able to go on to like college and university and all of that. Now my father came home from that, and he when he heard those words, he said, what does she know? And so he bought me  these little books that I had to do, and he paid me $1 for every one that I  finished. I remember he worked at the fire department, and sometimes on his  day of work, we had to go there at seven o'clock in the morning, and I would be  there doing those little books, and then I'd walk from there to school. And my  brother sort of got stuck in that group too. So in third grade, I was in this group 

with these kids that couldn't read very well, and then I did all these books well.  Roll the clock forward. I did. I not only went to the university, but I did it in three  years instead of four, and then I went on to four years of seminary, and I'm  teaching at a seminary, so don't let people's label of you dictate as to what you  think of yourself. See your eyes through the eyes of God. You are a child of  God. You are a son. You are a daughter of the God who created this universe,  and he has plans for you. And not only does he have plans for you, but he has  gifts available to you. I Corinthians 12, Romans 12, talk about the gifts of the  Spirit. You. Now, when you get a gift, you get a gift, and you don't have it until  you get it, and then you open it up, and whatever is inside the gift box is now  yours. Before you open it up, you didn't have it, and now you do. And that's the  way it is with God's gifts as well through the Holy Spirit, until he gives it to you,  you don't have it. So maybe most of your life you struggled with being able to  speak and talk to people. Then all of a sudden, God decides to give you that gift. Well before, you didn't have it, but now you do. So most of your life you didn't  have it. So to think of yourself as one who can't do this, well, who knows you are one who couldn't do it, but who knows what God is going to do with you today or in the future? So the first attitude that you need to have is, I am somebody in the body of Christ. I am somebody as a child of God, and he has plans for me.  Jeremiah 29:11, For I know the plans I have for you. Declares the LORD, plans  to prosper you and not to harm you. Plans to give you hope and a future. And he was talking to people who were in Babylon. He's talking to people who didn't  have a future, who thought they didn't have a future, and so that might be you.  You know, Will I ever amount to anything? I don't have a very good job right  now. I can barely take care of my family. I have these dreams and visions of  doing ministry, but how am I going to get there? You have to readjust your  attitude. You are a child of God. God put you on this planet because he wants to use you to make his kingdom go. If he didn't, you, wouldn't he be here? Attitude  two, I am needed I Corinthians 12:27, now you are the body of Christ, and each  one of you is part of it. You are needed in the body of Christ. The body of Christ  is hurting if you're not there. Romans 12:5, we belong to each other, and each of us needs all the others. Ephesians 1:11, in Him, in Christ, we were also chosen,  having been having been predestined according to the plans of him who works  out everything in conformity with the purpose of His will, in order that we, who  were the first to put our hope in Christ, might be for the praise of his glory. What  is this verse saying? This person saying that God had his eye on you before He  created the world? In other words, you know, as God was paging through the,  you know, possible creation book, you know, I could create this world. I could  create this world. I could create this world. Finally, he came down to two different worlds that he could create. One world is this world as it is, and you're there. He  turned the page, and then he looked at the creation of this world as it is, except  that you're not there, and he chose the one with you in it. You are a needed part 

in God's creation. He chose you. He had his eye on you. He has plans for you.  You are needed. Now maybe you don't think you're needed. Maybe you're in a  church right now and you don't know where to you don't know what to do with  your gifts. You're learning things at CLI you'd like to use them. What's happening in your life is one thing, but the attitude is another. You have to first of all  understand you are somebody and that you are needed now, whether people  know that at this time or not, that's another question. Ephesians 4:4-16, there's  one body and one Spirit, just as you were called to one hope when you were  called one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over  all and through all and in all. From him, Christ, the whole body joined and held  together by every supporting ligament grows and builds itself up in love as each  part does its work, everything goes good when everyone does their part. Now,  finding your part that takes a lifetime. Fine struggle. Go to school, take this  class, learn these things. Try out things. Try everything. You Who knows  whether you can do it? Well, I don't think I try it. Find your place in the body of  Christ, because you have a place. That's why God created you. Next attitude,  attitude three is the I will try. There are two kinds of problems. There are the kind that you invent, and there's the kind that you inherit. The kind you inherit come  to your life. Maybe you have a child that has a disability, and that's a problem  that just. Came to you, didn't do anything about it. And then there are problems  that we invent. We love problems as as people, as human beings. We love  problems. We go to work, and most of your work is solving one problem or  another. And then you get home, and you're exhausted from all the work that  you've done, and you sit down to relax, and what do you do? You play some  video game. You play cards with some people. In other words, you make up  another problem, a problem that isn't even there. Or you watch a movie. And  what is a movie? A movie, if it's any good, has a problem. Oh no. What's going  to happen? How they going to solve this? How's this going to go? We love  problems. Why We Love problems? Because they make us try. We have a  challenge. We have something to overcome. Make trying the goal, not avoiding  problems. Philippians 3:13, brothers and sisters, I do not consider myself yet to  have taken hold of it. But one thing I do, forgetting what is behind and straining  toward what is ahead, I press on toward the goal to win the prize for which God  has called me heavenward in Christ, Jesus, one of my favorite verses Paul is he sees the kingdom goal as so important. It's right there in front of him, and he's  straining. He's everything. He goes to bed at night and he's thinking, how can  we do this better tomorrow? There's a problem. Paul had all kinds of problems.  The Jews that were coming to Christ, they wouldn't listen to him then there were the people from the Roman Empire. They had other religions. They weren't  listening. Everyone was like, What is this thing? And he every day he had this  challenge from inside the church, outside the church, he was bombarded on  every side. And every day he got up going, What can I do? What can I how can I

try yesterday didn't go very good, but today I'm going to do better. These three  attitudes, I am somebody. I belong. I am a needed part of this thing, and I will try. Now. How do you apply these things to your finances? A lot of people, they grow up in a certain situation. Maybe you're in a family that didn't make a lot of  money, and your attitude is, this is how much money people make. This is this  kind of success that I can expect, and you never go beyond what you saw. And  other people very privileged positions. Maybe their father owned this business,  and they go through life thinking that they're worth a whole lot more money, and  you know what? They end up getting it. People tend to pay people what they  think they're actually worth. And so it's really you have to think about yourself.  Who am I? What am I really worth? And not be limited by your past experience,  not be limited by what people have said and the experiences you've had with  your own family and friends, you don't know yet what you're worth. Who knows  what you're worth? Try go beyond what you think you can do. Take, take that,  that job that challenges you. Maybe half of it you. I don't know if I can do it. Try  it. You'd be surprised. What you can learn. You're needed, you're somebody. Try Okay, these attitudes are the most important attitudes that you can have.  Attitude is everything. Skills can be learned. Attitudes have to be developed over time. But I want to talk about four skills, a couple more things I'm trying. If  avoiding problems is your ultimate goal, you will never try anything new. You'll  never take responsibility for anything because, you know, if I do, I'll just fail.  You'll never accept the challenge, and other people will accept the challenge,  and that person that accepts the challenge that's the one who will get the raise  and the promotion. You will never commit to anything, so you'll be stuck right  where you're at when you fail, try again. Proverbs 20:3, I love this. Sometimes it  takes a painful situation to make us change our ways. So the pain that you feel  from a failure is just actually something that will help you improve. Pain is what  often helps us change. All right, four winning skills needed for succeeding in  your personal finances. Skill number one, self discipline. You'll never succeed in  your finances, your personal finances without self discipline. What is self  discipline? Self discipline is delayed gratification. You know, I want something  and I want it now. Delayed gratification is I want something but I'm willing to wait  for it. So that's the problem with the credit card. with the credit card. You don't  have to delay what you want. You could just get it monthly payments. I can get it now and enjoy it now and pay for it later. Discipline goes the other way around.  Now I want this thing, but I am going to work for it. I'm going to save for it, and  eventually, somewhere down the road, I will get it discipline. We need discipline  with our personal finances. Actually, discipline can be fun. Discipline is actually  the fun part, because you can see your progress. I have a brother who's 14  months younger than I am, and when we were young, my dad would pay us little things. He he would pay us for everything, but he would also charge us for  everything. So we learned the value of money, and I kept track of my money in a

little notebook. And my dad was like the bank. My brother spent every dime he  got, everything that he had, he just spent. I kept track of it. Okay. I'm fine. I have  my dad owes me $5 now He owes me 10, now he owes me 15, now he owes  me 25 I remember writing down he owes me $85 and I knew how long it took to  get that $85 I was not going to just go waste it. The discipline that you have in  saving your money actually helps you keep going in the discipline exercise. You  start exercising. You're working out, and you get really good shape, because  you're in good shape. And you know how long it took to get there? You keep  doing it. If you stop for a week, you lose like two months worth. Discipline feeds  on itself. Proverbs 10:5, he who gathers crops in summer as a prudent son, but  He who sleeps during harvest is a disgraceful son. There's a time to do the  harvest. You got to do it when it's time. Skill number two, communication. Two  things, talk to people you trust. Listen to people you trust if you're doing your  finance, your personal finances. Don't go alone. Talk to people that you see,  people that are successful with their finances. Talk to them and listen to the  things that they say. Number three, skill three is responsibility. Make yourself  responsible when it comes to your finances. Responsibility. Responsibility is is  saying it's up to me. The opposite of responsibility is to blame others. I hear  people blaming everything under the sun for their finances, but themselves.  People will blame the place they work. You know, the people I work with, they  just don't appreciate what I do. They don't pay me what I'm worth, and there's  nothing I can do about it. People blame the government. Oh, the taxes that we  pay in this country. They take all my money. I have no money left. They blame  their spouse. Man, if you were married to the person I'm married, she takes the  money, she spends all the money. They blame their kids. Kids cost this. They  cost that. They I got this payment, and this payment, that payment. They blame  the culture that they live in. You know, this culture, you know the the cable bill,  all these they end up talking about all these things, as if they are not responsible for any of it, as if they have no control. They just raised the bill on the cable  thing. You know, you can just not have cable. The Internet. Oh, the internet's a  wonderful thing. You're, you're online here with CLI on the internet. You need the internet. Well, you could just go to a place that has the internet, use their  internet. You know, in our culture, we have a library. I just go to the library. It's  free. I use the internet. I go to McDonald's, have one cup of coffee and use the  internet all day. I'm not a victim, victim. So taking responsibility is saying I am not a victim to all the things that are going on here. I need to take control. Well, how  do you do that? Understand the power of consequences. Counsel there. There  are several different kinds of consequences. First of all, there's the natural  consequence. Proverbs 16:26, the appetite of the laborers work for them, their  hunger drives them on. So a natural consequence is, for example, if I have a  hammer and I hit my thumb with a hammer, it's going to hurt. Or if I take my  hand and I touch a hot stove, my hand is going to pull away. The pain of 

touching the hot stove is a natural consequence. No one has to punish me.  Okay, as a kid, you know, I did touch the hot stove and it hurt. My father didn't  have to come by and punish me. Hey, if you, you know, if you touch that hot  stove, I'm going to, I'm going to make you skip dinner tonight. No, he didn't have to say anything because the pain as the consequence to my own experience  taught me, and that's the best kind of consequence. So a natural consequence  with money is you spend more money than you make. You get in debt.  Someone's repossessing your stuff because you don't have money to pay for  second kind of consequence is a logical consequence II Thessalonians 3:10, for  even when we were with you, we gave you this rule, the one who was unwilling  to work shall not eat. Now it's logical, but it's not natural. If I don't work lot of  times, I still eat because somebody gives me food, or I mooch off my parents or  whatever. But it makes sense, so set up logical consequences. If I spend so  much money over budget, then the next month I have to make it up. That makes sense. You wouldn't have to do it. You could spend and you could put all your  things on a credit card and go into even more debt. But the logical consequence of spending too much one month is to cut back the next month. So set up logical consequences. Number Three agreed to Genesis 2 And the LORD God  commanded the man, you are free to eat from any tree in the garden, but you  must not eat from the tree of the knowledge of good and evil, for when you eat  from it, you will certainly die. This is not as is a powerful thing, especially with  parenting. When you're talking to kids and you're trying to teach them things to  set up. Agreed to consequences. You know, you have a curfew for your son.  He's 18 years old. You have to be home by 11 o'clock. Let's agree to that. And if  you're and you have to have consequences. If you're not home by 11 o'clock, if  you come home late, that means you have to work with me for eight hours on  Saturday. Okay, so shall we agree to that? And then he agrees, and then he  goes out on Friday night and he comes home at 11:30 now what happens is,  usually a father will greet the son in the driveway and be very angry, look, you're half an hour late. I thought we agreed that you're going to be home at 11. And  then he, the father, yells at him for a half an hour, and then and ends it with, and  I hope you enjoy working with me all day tomorrow, on Saturday, and the kid  goes home, goes to bed, angry. Why? Because it's unfair. We made an  agreement. The agreement was I can either stay out late and work all day  Saturday, or I can come home and not have to work Saturday. That's the  agreement. So what a father should do when he comes comes late is to say,  Hey, I see you. Decided to work with me all day Saturday. We'll see you  tomorrow. That's it. Not get all angry because he did what was agreed. Now you  didn't do what you wanted to do, but it was agreed you need to do the same  thing with your finances. You need to set up a budget and then have  consequences. If I break these things, then what negative things are going to  happen? And if I stick with them, then what positive things are going to happen? 

Now again, these skills are important, communication is important, discipline is  important. This one is important, and we have one more to talk about, but the  attitudes are way more important. One more judgment. Judgment is a skill. It's  something that you learn, and judgment, in terms of finances is knowing the  value of money and how hard it is to acquire and how easy it is to lose. So when you're faced with things, you know to stand back and look at your whole  personal finances. Where am I? What's the judgment on whether we're making  it, whether we're not making it. In my marriage relationship, my wife takes care  of all the bills, and I do sort of the step back and make the judgment over the  bigger picture. Where are we in the long term? Judgment is something that you  learn over time in terms of value and money, what to spend it on and when not  to spend it on. What are possibilities? What are not possibilities? Again, these  four skills are very important, but you learn them over time. The attitudes are  way more important. The attitudes really get to your motivation as to even do  personal finances. So your attitude of, I am somebody I'm a child of God. He  has me here for a reason. I am needed in the kingdom, His kingdom. He has me for a reason. The job that I'm doing, the money that I make, the family and I'm  taking all these things are part of His kingdom. And I. Will try. Maybe I made a  mess, maybe I have so much debt, maybe I've never been able to get a good  job. All those things may be true, but that doesn't mean that the way your future  is going to be, you're going to try, because God, God has you as His child. He  has plans for you.