Video Transcript: We Do Not Have to Figure It All Out - Dr. Chip Bennett

You know, all of us have had some unexpected events that have happened in our lives. All of us can relate to that—things that we just weren't thinking about, weren't looking for, and they just happened. And oftentimes those unexpected events have led to some really cool moments in our lives. Maybe it was when you met your spouse, or maybe it was a professor in school that changed your life, or maybe it was an event where you just had a lightbulb that went off. And obviously there are unexpected events that are tragic as well, but oftentimes unexpected events do lead us into a new place, a new life, so to speak, or a new way of seeing things. And all of us can relate to that.

And this weekend, what I want to do is I want to look at a really long biblical story that I'm going to have to condense quite a bit to get through in the time that we have together. But in this story, there is an unexpected event that comes into the life of a person who is going through tremendous doubt, tremendous fear, tremendous anxiety—things that you and I can relate to—and in that crucible, in that moment, what happens is massive life change happens.

And I don't believe these stories are recorded in Scripture just because. I don't believe that Scripture has these stories of massive transformation amongst people that would maybe have a shady past or questionable decisions and things that they had done in their lives. I think they're there because they relate to us too. And what I'm hoping and praying is this, because I believe this: I believe if you're watching right now, whether you're watching on Saturday, or whether you're watching on Sunday, or whether you're watching a week or two in advance, whenever you watch this—maybe a year from now, you just found this on YouTube—I don't believe that you're watching this by accident. I don't believe that you just stumbled here by happenstance. I'm praying and believing that this weekend, this time, whenever it is that you're watching this, that this is going to be a holy moment for you, a holy moment for us, a holy moment for the many people that will watch this. To where the story that we hear about a person who is going through tremendous doubt and fear and anxiety and had a massive life change, I'm believing that as we listen to this story, you and me are going to have some unexpected things that happen in our lives that hopefully will transform us in a massive way.

So hold that thought for a second, and let me real quickly summarize what we've been doing. We're in a series called "Benefit of the Doubt," and the series is really about doubt. Many of us are living in a season where we have a lot of questions, a lot of concerns. There's a lot of fear, there's a lot of anxiety. There's all of these emotions going on. And I just felt like as the pastor of Grace Community Church and trying to equip people to live their Christian life in a better way, and hopefully reaching other people that are listening to this, you know, whether it's in different states or all over the world, I think we all need to look at doubt in a new and fresh way.

Oftentimes, doubt, as I've said over the past couple of weeks, doubt has been sort of scrunched into unbelief, and doubt's not the same thing as unbelief. Doubt can lead to unbelief, but it's not the same thing. I've always said in the series, and I continue to say this, that doubt is the hinge between either unbelief or faith. And I believe that for many of us, an unexpected moment of life transformation comes amidst our doubts and our fears and our anxieties when all of a sudden we meet God in a new and fresh way. And those doubts and fears and anxieties actually are a catalyst to intimacy with God.

And so the big idea in this series has been this: Just because we doubt doesn't mean we're out. Just because we doubt doesn't mean we're out with God. And maybe you grew up in a tradition that told you that if you doubted, then God wouldn't work in your life. Or if you doubted, you know, that you were going to fall away. Or if you doubted that somehow you didn't get all the things that God had for you. And I just want to say right now that that's not necessarily the truth. Sometimes our doubt does lead to unbelief, and sometimes our doubt does lead us away from where we should be with God. But I'm convinced that by re-looking at doubt and re-looking at some great passages in Scripture, we're going to find out that doubt can be an incredible catalyst for you and me with the Lord. That's why the big idea is just because we doubt doesn't mean we're out with God.

So let's look at another story this weekend that I really think speaks deeply to a lot of where we're at, but it's a long story, and in the story, I'm going to have to condense a little bit. Some of you may know the story. Some of you may... I may summarize it. It may be fresh again to you. Some of you may never have read the story, but the story is about a guy named Jacob, and Jacob falls from Abraham, him to Isaac, to Jacob. And the story of Jacob is an interesting story, because Jacob is not the only son that's born at the time he's born. In fact, Esau, his brother, is born before him, which means he is the firstborn, technically. But we're told that as Esau is born, Jacob is holding onto his heel, to his, you know, foot, to his leg, on the way out. And that that's going to be symbolic of a lifestyle of struggle between Esau and Jacob.

Further in life, Esau comes in one day, and he's very hungry, and Jacob has something to eat. And what happens is, Esau decides he'll give Jacob his birthright if he can have the food. And it's a rich story of sometimes how we don't think through the decisions that we make and the ramifications that they can have in our lives. But Jacob's name means "supplanter." It means "deceiver." He's a manipulative man, and he knows how to work things to get what he wants.

Later in the story, he dresses up as Esau, puts hairy things on his arms and all of this, and goes in to his father to get the blessing. And in the Old Testament, in the ancient Near East, getting the blessing of your father, being the firstborn blessing, was a major deal. And so he steals that blessing from Esau. Well, when Esau comes in and realizes that he has once again supplanted, he's once again deceived, he's furious, and he threatens that he's going to take Jacob's life when his father Isaac passes away.

So what happens? Well, Jacob leaves. Maybe you would have left too. Jacob, once again, trying to figure out, "How can I work the situation? How can I stay alive? How can I make life go the way that I need it to go?" With some counsel from Rebecca, some thoughts on his own, he leaves, and he goes to visit a distant family relative named Laban.

Well, while he's there with Laban, he falls in love with a particular lady named Rachel. He loves her, but you do reap what you sow. And Jacob, who has supplanted and deceived, gets tricked by Laban on his wedding night. After he's worked seven years to marry Rachel, he ends up marrying another daughter of Laban, which is Leah. So he has to work another seven years to marry Rachel. And there's so much depth and complexity to these stories about the one that he loved, the one he didn't love, and all of those things.

What we find is that as life goes on and his years have gone by, Jacob decides to return. Return has risks, because he knows there's still this issue with Esau. And so as we enter into Genesis 32, I am going to take a lot of the passage and read through it, but there's going to be some of the passage that I can't go through. I'm going to ask you, in your own time, to read Genesis 32 and read into 33 so that you can get this story in all of its richness. But I think that you'll have enough summary to go back and read this for yourself for it to really, really stick and matter.

So let's pick up. The story is, Jacob starts to enter back into the land where he's left. Genesis 32, verse 3, picks this back up, and it says, "Jacob sent messengers before him to Esau, his brother, in the land of Seir," which means "hairy," which is sort of a play on words of Esau, "the country of Edom." Why is he doing that? He's coming back in. He knows that he's going to have to confront his brother. He knows that even though time has gone past, even though there have been years that have gone by, he knows that when he left, it was not a good situation. He knows that Esau wanted to kill him.

And so Jacob, who is a supplanter, who's a deceiver, who's a manipulator, who's a guy that tries to figure everything out, decides what he's going to do is this: He's going to send some messengers before him to meet his brother. And here's, and here's what's going to happen. He instructs them. Here's what he says: "Thus you shall say to my lord Esau." Now, those are some really important words here. Notice here how he's going, you know, "I've got to go back and meet Esau. I know Esau is going to be mad at me. I got his birthright. I got the blessing. He's going to be irritated. Last time I left, he wanted to kill me. So what I'm going to do is I'm going to send some messengers back, and I'm going to say, 'Lord Esau.'" Maybe, maybe that'll tone down some stuff. Maybe that'll show that I'm honoring him. Maybe that'll show that, you know, I want to make things, things right.

And he goes on to say, "Go to Lord Esau and say, 'This is what your servant Jacob says.'" Now he's a servant. He says, "I have sojourned with Laban and stayed there until now." This is, this is beautiful, because he left to escape the problem that he had with his brother. But what he's saying is he's saying, "Hey, listen. Yes, you know, look, I'm bowing down. I'm honoring you. I'm your servant. I didn't leave because I was worried. I didn't leave because there was a problem. I just went to sojourn. I always intended to come back. Everything, everything's going to be good."

So he sends these messengers because he's still trying to fix everything. He's still trying to make sure he's got control of what is going on, because this is just who Jacob is. So he sends these messengers, and what happens is, he says, "Go tell them too that I have oxen and donkeys and flocks and male servants and female servants, and I have sent to tell my lord, in order that I may find favor in your sight." What's he saying here? He's saying, "Hey, listen, you know, I know you probably thought I left to get away from you, but I really went to sojourn. And what I did is, when I was sojourning, I became pretty wealthy. So you know, it's not like I need to take anything from you. I've got some stuff of my own. Everything's good. We're all good. Everything's... I just want to make sure that I have favor in your sight."

Maybe you can relate. Maybe there have been times in your life where you felt like you had to scheme a little bit, where you had to do a few things. You had to shuck and jive a little bit to get to where you wanted to go so that your problems would go away. Well, that's where Jacob's at.

Then the text tells us this: "The messengers returned to Jacob." They came back, and they said, "We came to your brother Esau, and he's coming to meet you." Well, what does that mean? Well, what the text says next sort of really elevates the whole story. It says, "Hey, he's coming to meet you, and there are 400 men with him." Well, you can imagine what Jacob's thinking. "Oh my gosh, he's bringing an army of men." Can imagine probably his throat dropped into his stomach. And listen to what he says: "Jacob was greatly afraid and distressed." So what did he do? Did he trust God? Did he, did he believe in the God that had promised him that God was going to use him and his seed would be a seed that God would use for all of God's purposes? Did he believe that God was going to protect him? No, he was really afraid. He was really distressed. He was doubtful about what was going on, much doubt as to what is, what's Esau up to.

So he, once again, devises a scheme. He says, "He divides the people that were with him and the flocks and herds and camels into two camps." And you know what he did? He took Leah and that camp, and he took him and Rachel in this camp. He figured, "Well, if one camp gets destroyed, at least this camp will survive." We're told here, thinking, "If Esau comes to the one camp and attacks it, then the camp that is left will escape." So you can see Jacob, he's trying to figure everything out. He knows that there's a really good chance this is going to be a bad situation. You ever felt that way in your life? You ever felt like a bad situation is coming your way?

What do you do? How are you going to handle it? Well, he's scheming. He's trying to put things together. Ever done that? Ever tried to figure out how you can put the pieces together to make it work? Well, that's what he's doing. He's trying to figure out everything.

And then what does he do? Well, he prays. That's a good thing. I don't have time to go through the entire prayer, but one of the things that we do learn in the prayer is he calls God the God of Abraham and Isaac. God's not really his God at this point. He knows a lot about God, but he's never had that intimacy with God. But he does get one thing right. He's honest with God about this. In his prayer, he says, "Please deliver me from the hand of my brother, from the hand of Esau, for I fear him that he may come and attack me and the mothers with the children." He says, "God, here's where I'm at. I have a lot of uncertainty here. I don't know why Esau is bringing 400 men. Seems a little crazy. He may, he may really want to take me out. This may be the moment."

So what I'm going to do is I'm going to devise everything, and then it hits him, you know, "I need to pray." Well, after he prays, what do you think he did? You think he trusted God? You think he decided to put the two camps back together into one and lead the way and trust God? Oh no, he prays, but as soon as he's done praying, he's scheming again. You ever done that in your life? Ever prayed and asked God to help you, and then as soon as you were done, start trying to figure out everything, start trying to plan everything? I know I certainly have. You probably are a lot like me. You probably can relate.

So he comes up with this idea that what he's going to do is he's going to separate three waves of blessings to go toward Esau, because he knows there's 400 men with him. So he thinks, "You know what, if I send a group going first and say, 'Here's some donkeys, and here's some stuff, and here's everything,' saying it's a gift to you. If Esau takes it, then that's a good thing. But if he doesn't, let's say he kills everybody, then he's got to take all those animals. It's going to slow him down." He sends a second wave after that. It's called "three droves" in Scripture, you can read about it. He sends these three consecutive waves. In his mind, what he's going to do is send them because, number one, if Esau attacks everybody, maybe he'll get tired, maybe he'll get worn out. It'll also let Jacob know that maybe he can get away. But that's his plan. He's prayed, "God, trust me, I trust you. You're going to deliver me. Here's where I'm at." But then as soon as he gets done with that prayer, he starts trying to scheme again. He's got it all figured out.

He gets to the place where every single person, everyone is on their way to meet Esau, but he stays by himself. Here's what Scripture says: "Jacob was left alone." Think about this for a second. Let the Scripture speak to you and me. How many times have you had things in your life, have I had things in my life where we have no idea what's going to happen, it's incredibly uncertain, and we feel all alone? He's all alone. It's nighttime. He's by the Jabbok, all alone, probably thinking, "What's going to happen? Is Esau going to kill everybody? What's going to happen to me?" All of a sudden, all the fear and the doubt and the anxiety is there. You've probably felt that way before. You may feel that way right now. I certainly know I've been there—all alone, waking up at two o'clock in the morning trying to figure out how to deal with stuff, constantly, things racing in your head. "How's this going to work out? How am I going to get past this?" All alone.

And then something really unexpected happens, sort of one of those "I didn't see that coming" moments. Here's what happens. It says, "And a man wrestled with him until the breaking of day." Can you imagine, as he was there all alone, it's nighttime, and all of a sudden, a man runs up, tackles him, and they start wrestling? Is it Esau? Who is it? Can't see. It's nighttime. It's dark. He wrestles all night. You ever wrestled all night? You ever tossed and turned all night? You ever had moments in your life that you couldn't shake what was going on? This wrestling with this man is close contact. This man has invaded right in the middle of Jacob's fear and anxiety and doubt. He's entered into that moment, and there's this intimate closeness of wrestling that goes on all night.

And then we're told, "When the man saw that he did not prevail against Jacob, he touched his thigh." The ESV takes some liberty to call it a hip socket, but literally, it's his thigh. There is some ambiguity here about exactly what's been touched, but what we definitely know is that in the thigh area, where all the power comes from wrestling, he has been disabled. Now his strength to wrestle and his strength to really fight has been touched, and "Jacob's hip was put out of joint as he wrestled with him." He's not in a good position here. He's worn out wrestling all night. This person that's wrestled with him now has afflicted him in a way where he is weak in the flesh.

He said, "Let me go. The day has broken." But Jacob holds on, even though he's in pain, even though he's struggling. He holds on because he senses something is different here. He senses that there's something more than a man. He says, "I'm not going to let you go unless you bless me, unless you give me a blessing." And the text says that he said to him, "Well, what's your name?" I'm sure Jacob didn't want to deal with that, because, see, in the Old Testament, your name was who you were. It was your character. He said, "My name is a supplanter, my name is a deceiver, my name is a schemer." He says, "My name is Jacob." He says, "Your name shall no longer be Jacob." I'm changing it. "Your name is going to be Israel. For you have striven with God and with men, and you've prevailed."

Now think about this for a second. It's daybreak. He hasn't slept. He has a limp. He is in the worst position he could ever be to go meet his brother. He is as weak in the flesh as he could possibly be, and he heads out. And in chapter 33 of Genesis, when he finally sees Esau, Esau runs to him, grabs him, and kisses him, and all of a sudden, things have started to come back together.

What in the world is this story about? Maybe you've heard the story before, maybe you've read this story before. Maybe you've heard this story preached before. What's it about? What's going on here? Well, let's, let's take a, let's take a look here. Let's try to, try to get a little bit deeper into the story and let it really affect us, because this story is unexpected, but I believe that as you're watching right now and as you're listening right now, an unexpected thing is going to happen to all of us. I believe we're going to see some things that potentially could transform our lives forever.

First thing, when we wrestle with God, because we're told in the passage that Jacob says, "I didn't wrestle with just a man, I wrestled with God." And it's interesting how Moses says it was a man, but it was God. It was a God-man. We'll come back to that in a minute, but when we wrestle with God, because that's what happened here. He wrestled with God. God came into his despair, God came into his anxiety, God came into his uncertainty, God came into his doubt. Because that's where we find God. We find the God who wants to come and engage with us in an intimate way.

See, when we wrestle with God about our fears and our doubts and our questions and our concerns, we're forever changed. See, oftentimes we might have woken up at night and didn't realize God was wrestling with us. Maybe we've struggled with things and we can't get things off of our chest or out of our mind. Maybe that's God wrestling. Maybe God's wrestling with you right now, and maybe you haven't engaged. See, Jacob knew a lot about God. He just hadn't had an intimate relationship with God. He'd never had a change. But see, something happened when God got involved with Jacob, and notice, God took the initiative, not Jacob. God always takes the initiative in our lives. He comes rushing in, and Jacob could have not wrestled. Jacob could have not done anything. Jacob could have not put up a fight. He could have, he could have just said, "Uncle," but he didn't. He wrestled, and he was blessed.

Because, see, we can't engage with God in our doubts and our anxieties. Right now, somebody's listening, and you're going through all kinds of difficulties, and you're waking up at night, and you're struggling to get through the day, because what's happening is, is God is right there, in your difficulty, in your doubt, in your anxiety, in your fear, wanting you to engage and to wrestle, because God wants intimacy with you and me. We cannot wrestle with God and not be changed. See, he had a name change. See, you can't wrestle with God and have an intimacy with God and not have a life transformation. He's no longer a supplanter and deceiver. He now is Israel, Prince of God. And that's what it means to be Israel, what it means to be God's people are people that have engaged with God in the deepest, darkest areas of our life and wrestled in an intimate way, to where we start to understand that God Himself is enough. Just to have His blessing is enough.

Not only did he have a name change, but he was given a limp. He was broken in physically. See, what's interesting is, is that when you can wrestle with God and see God face to face, then what in the world can man do to you and me? See, he was, he went to meet, meet Esau in his mind and his scheming, and the way that he thought the world worked, he had to figure all this out. God met him right in the middle of that pain and showed him that "I can change you, and I can wound you, and you don't have the ability to get anything done anymore to defend yourself. You're going to have to trust me." See, he leaves crippled yet blessed. He leaves bowed down to Esau, yet forgiven. Forgiveness is on the way. See, when we wrestle with God, there's a change.

And this is why we always say here at Grace. It's why I always say, "God's not after you know a lot about him." It's great to know things about God, but God wants to know you and me. And this story is about a man who goes from trying to figure everything out on his own to being so broken and so alone and so doubtful and so fearful, to where all of a sudden, God gets a hold of him, changes him, wounds him, so that he can learn that he can trust God to do what God says He will do.

Second thing I can tell you for a fact is this: Our wrestling with God teaches us that we can't make the promises of God happen within our own strength. See, God's promises are not predicated on how well we perform. They're not predicated on how well we get everything right, and they're surely not predicated on us bringing them to fruition. The promises of God are ascertained through faith. See, he goes from being a man who has to figure everything out and position everything to make sure he's protecting himself, to make sure he's got everything the way that he wants it, to being a man who is absolutely worn out from wrestling all night and with a limp to go meet someone that he could now not conquer under any circumstance, because God wanted him to learn. He wants us to learn in our wrestling, what we learn is that we can't make the promises of God happen in our own strength.