📖 Reading: Video Transcript: Prayer & Music

Video Transcript: Music and Prayer in Men’s Ministry

Professor Steve Elzinga

All right, we’re back. In the last lecture, we talked about Bible study, and my last point there is worth repeating. I just want to reiterate that whole business of starting at the surface and then going down below.

I have attended so many Bible studies that just fall flat, and for a long time I didn’t really understand why. I was helping a church out in Washington state about a year ago, and I attended the youth group meeting. It was painful. I remember thinking: are the leaders not leading well? Is it just that these kids don’t want to open up? Or what is going on?

Reflecting on it later, I realized the real issue was the questions in the book they were using. Leaders often feel insecure about leading Bible study, so they lean heavily on a book. But the problem is that the questions in many books are so broad and general.

Take this example: Zacchaeus was insecure, short, and he climbed a tree to see Jesus. The book asks, “When did you feel like that?” There were eight kids in the group. What are they supposed to say? The leader, feeling the pressure, offers a quick example off the top of their head. The kids squirm, maybe toss out a weak response, and the whole thing dies. Why? Because the question was too broad and too general.

That’s why you have to help people narrow the discussion down to a particular area of life before you ask application questions. If you learn that concept, you can do your own Bible studies. Bible studies write themselves.

For example, you could say: “Next week, bring your favorite verse and be prepared to share why it’s your favorite.” Then you go around. Each guy shares his verse, why it matters to him, and others comment. You go to the next, and then the next. By the end, 30 minutes has gone by, and you didn’t need a complex curriculum. It just writes itself. A lot of times we make this harder than it should be.

Singing in Men’s Ministry

Psalm 68 says: “Sing to God, sing praises to his name… Proclaim the power of God.”

So why is singing such a big thing in church? In many churches, 40–50% of the service is music. In some cultures, everyone sings all the time—at gatherings, civic events, in homes. In earlier American culture, families had pianos, and people sang together often. Today, most people listen to music with earbuds, but they don’t sing much.

So now you get a group of men together and tell them to sing. Most are uncomfortable. Why sing at all?

Singing allows us to speak together as one voice. It is a beautiful picture of unity. Add harmony and you get diversity within unity—a picture of the Body of Christ (1 Cor 12). Singing teaches us, expresses praise and thanks, and carries emotions men might not express otherwise.

But why don’t men’s groups usually sing?

• Self-consciousness: Men worry they’ll be off-key.
• Voice change: Boys sing high as kids, then voices drop in puberty. Many never learn their range and lose confidence.
• Insecurity: They sing softer and softer, until no one sings at all.
• Lyrics feel too emotional: “I love you Lord, you are everything to me”—those can feel like love songs, and men hesitate to say such things out loud.
• Lack of musical background: Many men never learned notes, octaves, or rhythm. They feel stuck.
• Unfamiliarity with songs: Leaders introduce songs they’ve practiced 100 times, but the group only sings it once a month. Men don’t learn it, so they don’t sing it.
• Fear of standing out: Voice is personal. Singing alone feels too vulnerable.
• Bad acoustics: Men sing in the shower because echo covers mistakes. In dead acoustic spaces, flaws stand out, so men stop singing.

So how do you get a men’s group to sing?

1. Find a theme song. Something like Onward Christian Soldiers or Living for Jesus. In my youth cadet group, we sang our theme song every meeting. Over time, we knew it by heart and sang it loudly.
2. Make it happen. Don’t give up if it’s awkward at first. Bring a guitar, piano, or even a phone with music. Commit to doing it.
3. Create a men’s songbook. Choose 10–15 songs that fit your group. Print them, learn them, and keep coming back until men feel confident.

When men sing together, over time they grow in unity, confidence, and joy.

Prayer in Men’s Ministry

Now, let’s talk about prayer. Like singing, many men resist praying out loud. Why?

• Self-consciousness: Prayer is intimate, and they don’t know what to say.
• Comparison: Some men pray eloquently, long prayers with structure and “perfect landings.” Others think, “I can’t pray like that.”
• Lack of experience: Some men never prayed out loud, not even privately. They don’t know how to start or end.
• Fear of failure: Public speaking fears transfer into prayer.

So how do you help men pray?

Step 1: Model short prayers

Leaders often pray long prayers. That sets the bar too high. Instead, model short, simple prayers: “Thank you Lord for today.” Men can succeed at that.

Step 2: Use prayer guides

Give men structures:

• ACTS: Adoration, Confession, Thanksgiving, Supplication. Have men write one line for each. Then go around the circle:
• Adoration: “God, I praise you for your forgiveness.”
• Confession: “Lord, I’m sorry for losing patience with my kids.”
• Thanksgiving: “I thank you for my job.”
• Supplication: “Please help my friend who is sick.”
  Even first-time prayers succeed when reading one line out loud.
• The Lord’s Prayer expanded:
• “Our Father, hallowed be your name” → Praise.
• “Your kingdom come, your will be done” → God’s will in life.
• “Give us today our daily bread” → Needs.
• “Forgive us…” → Confession and forgiveness.
• “Lead us not into temptation” → Struggles.
• “Deliver us from evil” → Protection.
  Men can write one line under each and pray together.
• Seven Connections (taught at CLI): Pray for these categories—God, spouse, family, friends, church, kingdom, world. Each man writes a line for each, then prays it.

Step 3: Baby steps lead to growth

One man may only say, “I thank God for my wife.” That’s enough. He succeeded in praying out loud. Next time, he adds another sentence. Over time, men grow in confidence and intimacy with God.

Final Challenge

So what should you do as a leader? Try it. Don’t wait until you’re back at church or in the next lecture. Try it with your spouse, with a friend, or even with your kids.

Teach them ACTS. Teach them to expand the Lord’s Prayer. Teach them Seven Connections. You’ll be amazed at how quickly men who were once afraid of praying or singing can grow into worshipers and leaders.

But you have to do it now. If you wait two weeks, you’ll forget. If you try it today, you’ll remember it for life.

So do it—and I’ll see you next time.