📖 Reading: Video Transcript: Lecture 11: A Young Men’s Leadership Retreat

Lecture 11: A Young Men’s Leadership Retreat

Transcript for the Hearing Impaired

Introduction

All right, we’re back with lecture 11—a young men’s leadership retreat.

I wanted to create a retreat specifically for young men, ages roughly 19 to 30. These are guys in the middle of life:

• Some are dating or just married.
• Some already have one or two children.
• They’re starting careers.
• They’re saving for or buying homes.

They’re beginning adult life in full force.

I wanted this retreat to inspire them toward leadership. My message to them was:

“You are the future of this church. Your gifts, your abilities, your decisions—what you do and don’t do—will shape its future.”

Often, young men sit on the sidelines. They think, “The church was here before me, it’ll keep going without me.” So they let older people run things, but then they complain about the decisions those older leaders make.

Why? Sometimes it’s laziness. Sometimes it’s assuming someone else will step up. Sometimes it’s simply lack of confidence.

So my goal was to design a retreat that gave them confidence, assurance, and challenge—that they are called by God to make a difference in the church, the kingdom of God, their marriages, families, and workplaces. And that if they unite together, nothing can stop them.

Friday Night: Leadership Stories

We met on a Friday night at a cabin. I began with leadership stories.

I asked each young man to share a story of a time when he led something. It didn’t have to be huge. It could be as simple as doing something first and having others follow.

To start, I shared my own story:

In ninth grade, I transferred to a new school. There were only 20 kids in my class, and we had a football team. Somehow, I ended up the quarterback. The coach, an English teacher, knew nothing about football. So I sat down, drew up plays, and directed things. We won our first game on a last-second, incredible play. In that moment, I thought, “Maybe I can lead.”

That incident wasn’t planned—it just happened. But it gave me a sense of leadership potential.

As the young men went around, they each shared. The point wasn’t the size of the story but the realization: “I did lead something once.”

If you just ask a room full of young men, “Are you a leader?” most will say no. It sounds arrogant to say yes, and they’re afraid no one will follow. But with stories, they could see leadership in their own lives.

Saturday Morning: The Ingredients of Leading

The next morning, I opened with a short talk on ingredients of leadership:

1. Be a Follower First
• Moses struggled leading Israel because he had never modeled following anyone.
• Joshua, on the other hand, spent 40 years following Moses before leading himself.
• Lesson: If you want to lead, you must also follow. Who are you following?
2. Hear and Accept the Call
• Like Moses at the burning bush, many resist leadership.
• God calls, but we say, “Not me. I can’t.”
• The truth: God does call us, and leadership begins with obedience to that call.
3. Lead in Your Current Circle
• If you are married, you are a leader.
• If you have children, you are a leader.
• If you have friends, you are a leader—someone is watching you.
• Question: Who are you currently leading, and how are you doing?
4. Look for a Vision
• Do you have a vision for your life, your marriage, your family, your friendships, your church?
• Leadership begins with vision.
5. Sell Your Vision to a Few People
• Who would you want on your team?
• Why does your vision matter?
6. Make a Plan
• Break it down: What? Who? Where? When? How?
• An orderly, step-by-step plan brings clarity before action.
7. Lead Your Team and Carry Out the Plan
• Invite others who buy into your vision.
• Assign tasks.
• Motivate and encourage.
• Resolve differences.
8. Celebrate Success and Learn from Failures
• Failures reveal lessons.
• Successes reveal opportunities.

This was like boot camp for leadership.

Saturday Afternoon: Gifts, Interests, Personality

Next, we focused on self-discovery.

• Gifts: What are your spiritual gifts? Write them down.
• Interests: What interests has God given you? Write them down.
• Growth: What areas of life or faith would you like to learn more about?

Then, we explored personality traits:

• Talker or listener?
• Thinker or feeler?
• Fact-driven or intuitive?
• Introvert or extrovert?
• Planner or improviser?
• Bold or cautious?

Each man marked where he thought he was on these spectrums. Then we shared.

The point: Personality shapes leadership style. There’s no “right” personality, but it helps to know yourself.

Saturday Evening: Communication and Calling

Leadership requires communication.

• Communicate what you know. If you try to speak on something unfamiliar, you’ll stumble. If you speak about your own story or knowledge, you’ll succeed.
• Be enthusiastic. Energy matters.
• Tell stories. Jesus taught in parables because people remember stories.
• Use your whole body. Communication is more than words—it’s eyes, hands, posture.
• Practice. Know it so well that distractions won’t derail you.
• Take people on a journey. Present a problem, explore it, and discover the answer together.

Then came the most powerful exercise:

I asked each man to:

• Choose a favorite Bible verse.
• Connect it to a personal problem or experience.
• Share the story of how God spoke to them through that verse.

They had 10 minutes to prepare.

At first, some were nervous. But once sharing began, it was incredible. One young man admitted he had walked out on a dock that very morning, tempted to run away from everything—but a verse stopped him. He wept as he shared. Others followed with equally raw, powerful testimonies.

Each young man essentially gave a 5–10 minute sermon, and every one of them was powerful.

Why? Because they weren’t delivering abstract concepts—they were sharing their own story tied to God’s Word. It was authentic, vulnerable, Spirit-filled.

The result: they discovered they had something to say. They had a message for others.

Closing the Retreat

We ended by asking:

• Where in the church are leaders needed?
• What are you most interested in helping with?
• What is God calling you to start or join?
• What areas do you need training in?
• How will you commit to leading yourself, your marriage, your family, and your friendships?

The room shifted. The young men realized:

“We are the leadership of the church. What should we do?”

That retreat was one of the most powerful I’ve ever led. The Holy Spirit worked as these young men discovered they were not just followers of Christ but leaders in His mission.

Final Word

If you’re thinking of starting a men’s group, a retreat like this could be your launchpad.

Remember:

• Start at the surface.
• Use questions that help men share their real experiences.
• Then gradually go deeper.

When you do, men bond together as a band of brothers. They discover that God is calling them to greatness—not greatness in the world’s sense, but in service, faithfulness, and leadership in the body of Christ.

Your role is simply to be the spark. The Holy Spirit does the real work.

Be the spark.

We’ll see you for one more session.