📖 Reading: Video Transcript: Concluding Issues and Thoughts

Lecture 12: Concluding Thoughts

Transcript for the Hearing Impaired — kept as close to the original as possible, with light edits for clarity and flow

All right, we’re at lecture number 12. It’s been a good ride. I hope you’ve learned something. I hope you’ve been challenged. And I hope—beyond hope—that you feel empowered, equipped, and called, and that you’re starting to get over this insecurity that you can’t do it.

You can.
Don’t disqualify yourself because you think you’re not smart enough.
Don’t disqualify yourself because you think you don’t know enough.
Don’t disqualify yourself because you’ve had a bad experience or because no one believes in you.

It doesn’t matter—if you’re called, you’re called.

In this last session, I want to talk about some concluding thoughts and issues that you’re going to face, especially in the modern world we find ourselves in.

1) Sexuality

When you get a group of men together, you have half the genders in the room—God made them male and female. So sexuality will be an issue in men’s groups. You may have:

• Married men
• Divorced men who are now single
• Single men who will one day marry
• Single men who will never marry
• Single men who are living with a woman
• Homosexual men who do not act on homosexual tendencies
• Homosexual men who do
• Trans men

These are all realities in our modern world. What do you do?

Pornography

• The global pornography industry is worth around $97 billion.
• Approximately 35% of all internet downloads are related to pornography.
• 77% of 18–24-year-olds report consuming internet pornography.
• According to research, 68% of churchgoing men and over 50% of pastors view porn on a regular basis.

Do you think this is a problem? Yes. This is an issue you have to deal with in men’s ministry.

What’s needed? Education, opportunities for confession, accountability plans, accountability partners. Men will fall into this. Some spend a lot of time away from home for work. Men have urges, and the enemy knows this. Traps are set, and we fall into them.

We need a safe place—a place to admit things, to be held accountable, to try, to fail, to be lifted, and to be prayed for. It will take patience and time. Some get healed quickly; some keep falling back and forth. There’s discouragement, anger, frustration, guilt. It’s all in there—but we have to deal with it. And we have to trust the power of the Holy Spirit and the love of God to deal with these things. Let’s not run away from this or pretend it doesn’t exist.

2) Mixed Realities in One Room

Married Men and Single Men

You may be studying the family or marriage, and you’ve got single men in the room. Be aware and say it out loud:

“Right now we’re talking about marriage. I know some of you are single. You may have insights that married men don’t. You might be dating, or thinking about the future. You might just listen and observe. We know we’re not all in the same place—and that’s okay.”

Married Men and Single Men Living with Someone

In our culture, living together before marriage is common and socially accepted. If your church is an outreach church, you will have men in this situation.

Approach:

• Be aware and honest that this is happening.
• Accept and love the person—even if you do not affirm the behavior.
• Do not say, “Until you fix this, you’re not welcome.”
• We are all people in progress. Be patient and educate.

When people become believers, change happens little by little. Sometimes the “last thing to be converted” is the wallet—or the habits. Victory is often gradual.

Scripture for discussion:

• 1 Corinthians 7:8–9 — “To the unmarried and the widows I say: it is good for them to stay unmarried… but if they cannot control themselves, they should marry, for it is better to marry than to burn with passion.”
• 1 Corinthians 6:15–17 — Our bodies are members of Christ; sexual union makes two “one flesh” (Genesis language).
• I once had a living-together couple read this out loud. I asked, “What do you think this says?” The man said, “It suggests we’re already married.” We worked out a plan. It took education, not a hammer. Patience—not shaming.

3) Broader Biblical Frame for Sexuality

• Genesis 1:27 — God created mankind in His image: male and female.
• Genesis 2:18–25 — The creation of woman; man and woman become one flesh; they were naked and felt no shame.
• The mysterious oneness of the Triune God (“Let us make man in our image”) is reflected in the union of man and woman.
• Then sin enters (Genesis 3) and breaks things. Some brokenness we cause (personal sin). Some brokenness is the fallen world (thorns, labor pains, earthquakes). We didn’t personally cause an earthquake, but it’s still evidence of a broken world.

Important distinction:

• Is a person’s homosexual desire personal sin or a form of brokenness they were born with?
• If it’s personal sin, we repent.
• If it’s born-brokenness, we don’t repent for having the desire—just as a person born without an arm doesn’t repent for lacking an arm.
• But the next question is key: Is acting on desire a sin? That is where the real discussion must be.

My leaning: even though there is brokenness in the world, we fight brokenness; we don’t accommodate it. Others will differ. In men’s ministry, we must wrestle with the Word of God. We don’t base truth only on personal feeling. We are servants of Scripture and of the churches we belong to. We don’t declare our own truth apart from God’s truth. It isn’t always simple, but we must do the work.

4) When a Men’s Group Is Not Enough

You will have men whose issues go beyond what a men’s group can provide:

• Addiction
• Depression
• Anxiety
• Trauma and more

Sometimes one man’s crisis consumes the group. Men want to help, but they get worn out. The group can’t manage it. The man needs help beyond the group.

So, if you’re going to start a men’s group, know your referral resources:

• Counselors and therapists
• Recovery groups
• Chaplains and pastors
• Medical care/support

Men’s groups can support, pray, and walk alongside, but sometimes they must point men to additional help.

5) Final Encouragement

We can’t cover every issue here. This is an introduction to men’s ministry. It’s enough to get going.

Here’s what I want to leave you with:

• Matthew 4:19 — Jesus said, “Follow me, and I will make you fishers of men.”
  He knew they were fishers of fish. He saw potential and said, “I will help you.”
• When He left, He said, “You’re in charge of the whole thing—but I will send my Spirit.”
  You won’t be alone.

You can do it.
You can do it.
You can do it.

Closing Prayer

Lord, someone here has taken this course because You put it on their heart.
Give them courage.
Give them tenacity.
Give them the will, power, and energy to act—to start—to move in the direction of men’s ministry.

We pray in the name of Jesus—the One who died for us, the One who empowers us, the One who believes in us.
Amen.