Hello. My name is Steve Elzinga, and we're in this management course, and  we've looked at several principles and topics. The next several teachings are  really going to come out of the book of Philemon. It's one of the smallest books  of the Bible. I wrote a book, and you can download it, or you can actually order it from CLI It's called How to influence friends and tactfully get along with people.  And perhaps you sort of recognize that title because Dale Carnegie wrote a  famous book, How to Win Friends and Influence People. And you might think I'm sort of stealing from him, but it's interesting. A few years ago, Rich DeVos  wanted someone at CLI to go to the Dale Carnegie course he went to it. All his  kids went to it. It's a course that's been going on for 50 60, years, and it's all  about people and dealing with people and so on. And so I took it, it was a 12  week thing, and what in the middle of taking that at my church, I started  preaching out of the book, Philemon, which is only one chapter long. And as I  was preaching from that book and reading that book and studying all that Paul  had to say, I started realizing that a lot of the things that I was learning at the  Dale Carnegie course actually were in the book of Philemon. So in some ways,  perhaps he borrowed from Paul from this letter so long ago, and all the different  principles of how to deal with people just leapt off the page. And so what we're  going to do, I'm going to in this session, just sort of give the background. We  only have this book. It's a few verses long. It deals with Paul and Philemon and  Onesimus, who's a runaway slave, and all we know is what we see in this book.  And so what I'm going to do is sort of extrapolate a story based on the things  that were happening in those days. So I'm going to do that, and then in the next  several sessions, we're going to pull out all kinds of principles that will help us  deal with people, tactically deal with people, and how to, how to make friends,  not not so much, how to, how to take win friends. You're not trying to win  anything, but how to have good relationships. And that's what management  really is all about. It's about leading in such a way that you preserve  relationships rather than destroy them. So I'm going to spend a little time just  sort of giving you a first person account. I'll start with Philemon, then I'll go to  Onesimus, and then Paul's actual words, so we're going to start out with  Philemon. We had no idea he was coming until the knock on the door, how he  dared to come back at all was beyond me. At first, I didn't see him because he  was standing behind the man who escorted him to my house. This man, I knew.  His name was Tychicus. He was a good friend of Epiphras, who was a student  of the great Apostle Paul it was Epiphras that exposed me to the new religion  called the Christian as Tychicus introduced himself to me, I finally noticed the  man standing behind him. It was Onesimus my runaway slave. I had expected  that the next time I would see him, he would be in chains, but here he was  unbound and dressed as any free man. He said nothing behind his hiding  behind his escort. I said nothing as well, patiently letting Tychicus explain how  the two of them travel. Traveled several weeks from the capital city of Rome as 

they recounted their journey, I carefully observed on this he was thin, but he's  always been thin. His eyes flitted back and forth, not focusing on anything in  particular. His hands were behind his back, as if in shackles, though they were  not he rocked hesitantly back and forth. You can see that he was nervous as  well you should be. I felt a resentment rising to anger within me. He deserved  the death penalty that would be justice for his crime. Tychicus finally broke the  tension in this unlikely turn of events, he reached out his hand, and in his hand  was a letter, a letter, apparently written by the Apostle Paul. My name is  Philemon. I grew up in the once thriving city of Colossi, built on the important  east west trade route leading from the Aegean Sea port of Ephesus to the  Euphrates River, which brought goods all the way to Babylon. But that was 200  years ago. Now, Laodicea and its neighbor city Hierapolis, with its healing hot  springs dominate the area, though, from Colossi, I spent most of my life away  from it as a Roman commander. I lived wherever Rome sent me as a military  man, I had but two allegiances, the Emperor and the soldiers that I commanded. The former called himself a god, but no one believed that if he were a god, then  he would have to get in line with all the other gods that people felt an obligation  to honor. It seemed each city had its own. I never found the gods of any  particular use, but I honored them just the same as did everybody else. What  harm could there be? I busied myself doing my job and doing it better than  anyone else. I had no time or inclination to worry about anything else. But then  my job ended. I moved to my hometown, Colossi, to be with my wife and my  grown children, and began to live what I thought would be the good life. But  what was good about my new life? I had no men to lead. I had no emperor to  follow. What was I to do? What was my purpose? What was the meaning of my  life and death? When a soldier, I never worried about dying. If I died, it was for a  cause, it was for the Emperor, it was for my men. I felt that there would be some  kind of glory in it among men and the gods, but now I had nothing to die for, and  I soon realized nothing to live for. Either my mind would turn these thoughts over and over, and I became anxious. So the first so for the first time in my life, I  studied my options. The Roman gods held little meaning to me. So I turned to  philosophy, not really a religion per se, but at least philosophers were asking the questions that I wanted to ask, what is true, what is real, what is life about?  Where is it all going, and what's my place in it. Of the many philosophies of the  day two were the most popular, stoicism and Epicureanism. Life, according to  the stoic is determined. All the particles and material of this world are following a predetermined path. So what's going to happen is going to happen? Worrying  about anything is pointless. And since all life is determined, there is a certain  logic to it all. Finding out what that logic is is how one should spend their time,  and somehow being good and doing good are the ways to happiness, but  happiness, according to the stoic, is not an emotion. Emotions are distractions,  false realities. The pursuit of goodness and reason and logic is what life is all 

about. For the stoic, I had many stoic friends who did a lot of good and never  seemed to be bothered by the negative circumstances of their lives. They  seemed content. They seemed strong, and they, unlike me, slept like babies.  But and this is what soured me on this philosophy, if all the material of this world  is following a particular predetermined pattern. Where did that pattern come  from, or from whom and to what purpose? So I turn to the other great philosophy of the day, Epicureanism, if stoics shunned the material world, Epicureans  embraced it. Life to their way of thinking was first and foremost about pleasure,  one's own pleasure. At first, I thought this was a young man's philosophy. You  have to be young to truly take advantage of it. But as my. Friends following this  philosophy explain pleasure only comes to those who limit their wants too much  of a good thing is not always good. In fact, most things in life are better more  enjoyable the harder they come by and the longer we have to wait for them. I  thought I had finally found the answer to live a simple life and enjoy simple  pleasures, all the while achieving tranquility. But my new philosophy did not  quiet my troubled mind. In the end, I found no purpose in pursuing my own  pleasures. It just didn't work. I got bored with myself. My little life, as it happens,  was, I'm afraid to say, not purposeful enough. That's when a friend of mine  introduced me to a friend of his Epiphras, who was a great disciple of the  apostle Paul, the great missionary of the new religion called Christian. He tried  to tell me about this new religion, and at first I laughed it off. Why would anyone  be crazy enough to adopt a religion that worshiped a man we Romans killed on  a cross, but one night, I listened to Epiphras what he had to say. He explained  how the foundation of the Christian faith was Judaism. At this I laughed out loud  and told him that you're making it harder for me to believe. But I listened, and I  was intrigued. Unlike the Roman Pantheon, of many gods, seemingly chosen for political reasons, Judaism had only one God, and he supposedly created  everything out of nothing, this God cannot be made into an image of gold and  silver by a man, but men and women were made and shaped by him. Epiphras  explained to me about Adam and Eve in the Garden of Paradise God had  provided them. He told how sin came into the world through a lie spoken by a  fallen angel, a lie that promised that mere men and women could become gods.  Of course, that's what we Romans believed that mere men and women could  become gods. When Epiphras described how Adam and Eve believed the lie  and then, as a result, felt a need to hide, not only from each other in their newly  discovered nakedness, but also from God. I felt convicted. I've been hiding  behind my uniform most of my life. I've been hiding behind the importance I felt  when people did what I said. I'd been hiding behind my wealth that allowed me  to control the people arEound me. I'd been hiding behind the connection I had to the Emperor of Rome, the so called god. All of it was a lie. All of it was a cover  up for an insecure man trying desperately to be significant, to be somebody, this  lie, a lie I could not hide from anymore, caused me great shame. So I listened 

with real interest when Epiphras told of God's plan to bring his prized creation,  the men and women that he loved out of insecurity, smallness and shame and  even death itself, daddy explained to me had chosen a simple man named  Abraham, and he did so with these words, I will make you into a great nation,  and I will bless you. I will make your name great, and you will be a blessing, and all peoples on the earth will be blessed through you. Abraham passed this  promise on to his son, Isaac, and then Isaac passed it on to his son Jacob, who  had 12 sons. The offspring of these sons eventually became the 12 tribes of  Israel, though the promise gets passed down to the descendants of Jacob they  end up as slaves in Egypt. But explained, Epiphras God heard the cries of his  people in slavery, and he sent a savior named Moses to lead the people out of  slavery, out of hiddenness, guilt and shame. As he talked about this part of the  story, I wondered about my slaves. Were they praying for deliverance? Then  Epiphras told me about Jesus, the Son of God who died at. The hands of  Roman soldiers like me, but he died. Epiphras said, looking me straight in the  eye, to take your place, to take your guilt so that you can come out of hiding  insecurity and shame. Then piphras said something so ridiculous, but I almost  choked on the piece of bread I was eating. Jesus died at the hands of Roman  soldiers like you Philemon, but three days later, he was resurrected. He walked  among us, and then he commissioned us to tell others about Him. Then he left  for his kingdom in heaven. He is there preparing for our arrival when we die.  Epiphras then challenged me to live my life as a Christian, a follower of Christ.  And when I asked what a follower of Christ was, he said, one who believes in  Christ lives for Christ and shares Christ with others. Well, I did believe, and I  began to tell others, and with the help of Epiphras, I started a church in my own  home. It changed my life. I finally had something to believe in that gave me real  purpose and meaning in life, but something was missing. I believed it, and I was  sharing it, but was I living it? I felt like I was still hiding behind the image I had  carefully fashioned all my life. I was still wealthy and powerful. I liked these  things, I had become a Christian, but I wasn't sure how to apply my Christianity  to the people around me. One sign of my power and wealth were my slaves. I  once managed soldiers that I paid a wage. Now I controlled slaves that I owned. Owning slaves was quite common in the Roman world. You conquer nations.  They become your slaves. Slaves do what you want them to do. They serve  you. They have no choice in the matter. They exist to please you. I considered  myself a good master before becoming a Christian, especially to my most useful slave, Onesimus. I treated him like a son. I let him manage many of my affairs. I  trusted him with money transactions. I cared for him. He lacked for nothing. After I became a Christian, I admit I did not share my newfound faith with my slaves.  Slaves are slaves. They have no rights. The Master's religion is the master's  religion. Slaves must find their religion. But having said that, I was a good  provider, so you can understand perhaps my bewilderment when I found 

Tychicus and Onesimus standing at my door with a letter from the Apostle Paul.  What could this be? Okay? Now, from Onesimus point of view, I had to leave. I  was not born a slave, and when I left, I never thought I would come back, at  least not in my own choosing. Some 20 years ago, the mighty Roman Empire,  as it expanded to the far corners of the earth, finally arrived with its legions of  soldiers at my little corner of the earth. My people, a fierce, proud tribe in  northern Britannia, foolishly resisted and inevitably paid a high price for its pride, death, rape, slavery. At the time, I thanked the gods of my tribe that I only had to pay the price of slavery, the rest of my family paid with their lives. I was only 10  years old, my gods, my family, my homeland, all that communicated a person's  worth were gone. I had to forge new meaning from a new reality, slavery. My  new god was my master, and my value as a human being was dependent on my value to his need for me. I had to be useful. I learned to serve my master. As I  grew into manhood, I became the most valuable slave. He'll whatever was  needed. I could make happen. That is how I got my name, Onesimus, which  means useful. I was useful. My life depended on it, but being useful was  enough. At first, I would have stayed a slave, content on being useful to my  master. But then My master became a follower of the way. He became a  Christian. Soon, many of my master's friends did the same, and they began to  meet at our house. Slaves were not welcome at these meetings, but over time, I  learned about the way, and I have to confess, I was intrigued. I learned that got  the that the God of this new way had chosen a people long ago, but these  people had become slaves like me. God then heard their cry for help and sent a  savior named Moses to lead them to freedom. I learned from some letters read  in meetings at our home, letters written by some teacher of the way named  Paul, that all men are born slaves and must be freed by what Jesus did on the  cross. I didn't understand the whole thing, but the desire for freedom and the  hope that it was possible was born inside of me, but nothing came of it. Lives  were being changed, supposedly, in the church, in our house, but my life as a  slave stayed the same. I could no longer get my value from just being useful to  my master, Philemon. The possibility of Hope created such a desire in me that I  had to do something. I decided to escape having been the right hand man of my master for so many years, I was familiar with travel history, accounts, maps, the  ways of the world, I decided to make my way to Rome, a place of opportunity, a  place of obscurity, a place to hide, a place to make my way. The journey to  Rome was not without adventure, but I made it. Upon arrival, I joined in with all  the other misfits and foreigners seeking to find a better way my skills at being  useful to people helped me not only survive in this chaotic, strange new city, but  ultimately to thrive. But no matter how successful I became, I always slept with  one eye open, one slip of the tongue, one misstep, and I could be exposed for  the liar that I was. If that were to happen, it would mean death. One day, as I  was doing business in the market, a most astounding thing happened. I heard 

two people talking about the way was it the same way of my former master,  Philemon? I listened to them. I followed them. They led me to a house. It turned  out to be the prison house of the apostle Paul, the one I had heard about at the  estate of my former master, Philemon. Over the next several months, I became  useful to the apostle Paul, but as I served him, I made it clear to him that he was not my master, that I was not his slave. He respond over the next several  months, he responded in what I soon learned all too well would be classic Paul.  He said to me, all men are slaves to whatever they serve, whether power,  riches, popularity, glory or God, the only freedom one has is in choosing what or  to whom one serves. So apparently, I had escaped one master only to end up  serving another. I could leave any time I wanted to, but in the end, I had to serve something, and at the moment of leaving one master to serve another, I would  become a slave again. Slavery is inevitable, So freedom is really about choosing one's slavery wisely. I decided to enslave myself to a God that loved me so  much that He sent His only Son to die, to set me free from sin and death, I  became a follower of Christ and the way, and my life was filled with meaning and purpose as I attended to the needs of perhaps the most influential Christian  alive. But I was hiding something I passed one night, as I was attending to his  needs, the apostle Paul said with a mischievous smile on his face, something  about being a prisoner, not only of the Romans, but also of Christ. He said it like  it was a good thing, and that's when I knew I had to tell him the truth about who I was. Of course, he knew somehow already, but he was waiting for me to be  ready. We talked all night, and in the morning, he looked me in the eye, and he  asked me what I thought I should do. I knew what he wanted me to say, but I  couldn't. How could Paul know what Philemon would do if I went back?  Philemon had treated me in some ways, like a son, mentoring me, giving me  responsibility, trusting me with everything as his most trusted slave. And how did I reward my master for everything he had done for me betrayal. How could I be  able to explain that I was thankful for all that I was given, but I did not want to be trade treated like a slave or even a surrogate son. I wanted to be treated as a  brother, a brother in Christ. Paul must have known what I was thinking. And  finally said, let me write a letter to Philemon explaining things. I will let you read  it, and if you like it, we can send it. If not, we will. What do you say? This is the  letter both Tychicus and I brought to the house of Philemon. So these are the  words of the book of Philemon, Paul, a prisoner of Christ, Jesus and Timothy,  our brother to Philemon, our dear friend and fellow worker, also to Apphia, our  sister and Archippus, our fellow soldier, and to the church that meets in your  home, Grace and peace to you from God, our Father and the Lord Jesus Christ,  I always thank my God as I remember you in my prayers, because I hear about  your love for all his holy people and your faith in the Lord Jesus, I pray that the  faith you share will make you understand every blessing we have in Christ, your  love has given me great joy and encouragement, because you, Brother, have 

refreshed the hearts of the Lord's people. Therefore, although in Christ, I could  be bold and order you to do what you ought to do, yet I prefer to appeal to you  on the basis of love. It is as none other than Paul, an old man and now also a  prisoner of Christ, Jesus, that I appeal to you for my son, Onesimus, who has  become my son while I was in chains. Formerly, he was useless to you, but now  he has become useful both to you and to me, I'm sending him who is my very  heart back to you. I considered keeping him with me so that he might serve me  in your place during my time in prison because of the gospel. However, I didn't  want to do anything without your consent, so that your act of kindness would  occur willingly and not under pressure. Maybe this is the reason that Onesimus  was separated from you for a while so that you might have him back forever, no  longer as a slave, but more than a slave, that is as a dearly loved brother. He is  especially a dearly loved brother to me. How much more can he become a  brother to you, personally and spiritually in the Lord? So if you consider me a  partner, welcome him as you would welcome me if he has done any if he has  done you any wrong and owes you anything, charge it to me. I Paul, writing this  with my own hand. I will pay it back, not to mention that you owe me your very  self. I do wish, brother, that I may have some benefit from you in the Lord,  refresh my heart in Christ, confident of your obedience, I write to you knowing  that you will do even more than I ask one more thing, prepare a guest room for  me, because I hope to be restored to you and answer to your prayers. Epiphras, my fellow prisoner in Christ, Jesus, sends you greetings, and so do Mark  Aristicus, Demas and Luke and my fellow workers the grace of the Lord Jesus  Christ, be with your spirit. 



Last modified: Tuesday, March 4, 2025, 2:12 PM