Video Transcript: Reaching the Next Generation

Session 12 — Reaching the Next Generation 

Opening

Bruce:
Well, hello. We’re here with session 12, the last of this course, and we’ve gone through a lot, and we hope that this has been very insightful and encouraging to you, wherever you are in this process. But we’re not quite done yet. We’ve got another very important topic,

Bruce:
when you come into leadership in the church, particularly in something like the deacons, it is vitally important. Nowadays—this is 2024, near the end of that year that we are doing this—there is one area of the church that is in crisis, and you probably see it in your church. If you look—sometimes you don’t see it because you don’t look with the right eyes. I remember one of the consultants to whom I’m deeply indebted, Tom Rainer, said that his hardest job is when he goes into a church to make people realize reality. He said, because they’re so ingrained. Says when I tell them how bad it is, and I show them a graph of their church membership and their church attendance over the last 10 years, and they say, “We didn’t know it was that bad,” because pews are emptier than they used to be, but really they don’t want to see.

Well, when it comes to the younger generations here in the United States (and elsewhere—in some places here in Europe), you’ve got to know that right now, the younger generations—up to about 25–30—only 1% attend church on a regular basis, and the United States is heading that way. And whatever country you’re in, know that this is an issue. And so we’re going to talk about the ministry of deacons and looking at: how do you bring a generation along with you?So that’s the topic for today.

Generations Snapshot

Bruce:
Here’s a picture of a Gen Zer. And pretty typical—he’s on his phone. He’s got the AirPod—actually, this one’s wired, which was—so this is out of date itself,

Abigail:
right? Yeah—wait a minute. I—

Bruce:
didn’t even notice that when I chose it, but he’s looking at his phone. Church may be in the background, but it’s not in the foreground for him. He’s—he’s—he’s busy. He’s distracted.

Now, if you’re not aware of generations, here’s the general breakdown for generations:

• Silent Generation: born before the end of World War II; now late 70s to 100 years old.
• Baby Boomers: that’s my generation; 1946–1964, and we’re about that age.
• Gen X: my kids are 45 to 59 years old now.
• Millennials: their kids are 28 to 43.
• Gen Z: 12 to 27 years old.
• And Generation Alpha, it’s being called, down.

Gen Z is my generation—yeah. Anyway, when you look at Millennials (28–43) and Gen Z (12–27), they are leaving the church in unprecedented numbers. For instance—[excuse me, I hit two.] 70% are dropping out of church.

Abigail:
Yeah, that number has to be sobering for you, and it’s sobering for me, as I look at—again—a huge portion (this is my generation right now) leaving the church, and it’s—again—it’s sad. And I know many of my friends who have actually been this kind of scenario where I was friends—living in high school—they attended church, were in their faith, and then went to college, started their careers, and they were not attending church. Some—

How They’re Leaving (and Why)

Bruce:
—of the reasons that—or here’s the breakdown:

• 1 out of 9 lose faith in Christianity.
• 4 out of 10 leave the church but still call themselves Christian. In other words, sometimes in the United States, where we are listed as a Christian church—or Christian nation—they become cultural Christians, in the sense they might attend Christmas and—Thanksgiving—Christmas and Easter be the other one.

Yes, I remember—my wife—I had a supervisor when we lived in California, and it was getting to be one of those holidays. So my wife starts talking to her—opportunity to share and invite her to one of our holiday services, of which we had many—and she said, “Oh, what church?” And she named our church. She said, “Oh, that’s my church.” She attended twice a year, but we were her church. But—should have dropped out, but was still a cultural Christian—not engaged within the spiritual growth of the church, but—

Abigail:
—kind of shows, like—again—a huge portion of these are still, you know, again, identifying themselves even as Christians. So there is a huge opportunity to re-engage them—

Bruce:
—with the church, right.

• 2 out of 10 disconnect and express frustration about church culture, and—yeah—sometimes disconnect from society.
• 3 out of 10 stay involved in church.

Now, when you look at the reasons they give, here’s the top ones:

• “I moved to college; stopped attending.”
• “Church members seemed judgmental or hypocritical.”
• “I didn’t connect to people in my church.” (29%)
• “I disagree with the church’s stance on political or social issues.” (25%)
• “My work responsibilities prevented me from attending.” (24%)

Look at that for a moment. These are the people who have left, and this is what they’re looking at.

Abigail:
I can relate to that, because for a while—like, I kind of had—when I was younger, being obviously the pastor’s kid, I was always so connected with the church, and so moving to Michigan—it was very difficult to go from “I know everybody in this church; I feel super connected” to, like, coming and entering a church where there’s hundreds upon hundreds of people I have no idea who they are, and I kept just not feeling that connection. And so seeing, again, that large portion of people who just don’t feel connected, and then even the people who moved and stopped attending—to some extent, they didn’t have a desire to get newly connected, because they really weren’t feeling good, in my opinion, before.

The Stakes

Bruce:
So this is huge. We’re talking 70% of the next generation—which, I forget who said it, but the person was wise who did—the church is always just one generation from disappearing. That’s your church. I was reading just this past week that by the year 2030 in the United States, there will be 100,000 church buildings that need to be repurposed. Think of that: 100,000—because the next generation is leaving. The generation that’s there is getting older, and as a result, eventually, as the numbers shrink, they can’t afford to do ministry anymore.

So—what I want to look at, we do some research that’s been done recently by LifeWay Research. There’s a bigger group that I consider about the kinds of churches that retain and attract people and young people and generation Millennial and Gen Z. So let’s look—okay—10 characteristics of churches that keep young adults, and this is from Discipleship and Evangelism, February 24, 2021. (Now that was during COVID, you’ll notice, but they did this as a broader kind of examination to say what kind of churches—it was happening before that and certainly been happening after, only an increased rate.)

Ten Characteristics of Churches That Keep Young Adults

Bruce:

1. Sincere. 24% who left the church saw it as insincere. 17% of those who stayed said it’s sincere. So genuine—genuineness and honesty—the things we talked about with finances, everything we talked about with life. That’s got to characterize your church: where there’s a value on the truth, even if it’s painful at times. Those generations—the next generation—is more attracted to truth, even if it’s hard truth, than the sense that something’s being covered up—yeah—and when that happens, they’re out. They’re gone. It’s time to disappear. Sincere. (Now, we talked in the first session about the word sincere. It means without wax—that cover-up they would do with statues. If the next generation finds that you’ve been covering stuff up, they’ll be gone.)
2. Avoid hypocrisy. 41% of those who left said the church was hypocritical. Now, the word hypocrisy—an interesting one. The translation means “to speak from under a mask.” Now, back in Bible times, you know, when they had actors on stage—and in my retirement I’ve been doing some acting—but back then, in order to change characters… In a Greek theater, you would change masks, and so acting was to speak from under a mask, to play a role, to pretend. And again, we’re talking about 41% of those who left the church say they left because they sensed it was hypocritical—people were not acting out the faith that they proclaimed.

Abigail:
I think that—as we talked about even the devil’s traps and schemes—this is the big one. You know, that trap of falling into hypocrisy. I think it is—as we even see in the Bible—I just think again and again, one of the biggest things that Jesus is addressing again and again is the hypocrisy of the Pharisees. And, you know, so it just shows how easy that can creep into establishment, like a church, and for leaders. And so it’s not surprising, to some extent, to see that that is a huge reason why people leave.

Bruce:
3) Authentic. 60% of those who stayed said the people in this church are authentic. Now, this is the opposite basically of hypocrisy, in that you trust these people; they come off as—you know, not just separated and divided—but that they are authentic. They’re living their life; they’re—they’re exhibiting the fruit of the Holy Spirit—love, [joy, peace, patience,] kindness, goodness—

Abigail:
—they’re putting their faith into action. It goes back to that verse of “a faith that doesn’t bear that fruit is a dead faith.”

Bruce:
This really hits your role as a deacon, because where is authenticity most seen? It’s going to be seen in how your church cares about the people in your church and community. Are you sacrificing to make sure these people are cared for, and that you care about making that—

Abigail:
—a priority? Are you being authentic in that?

Bruce:
4) Supportive. 23% of those who stayed felt the church was supportive. 36% of those who dropped out said, “No, they’re not supportive.” Now—supportive—what does that mean? One study about people who stayed said that a young adult, especially now (we’re talking about those who are going away to college)—in order for them to be able to come back to church, they need five connections with people in your church—five people who’ve invested in them, who careabout them, who check on them, who support them, who pray for them—five people. And those who leave the church said, “We didn’t feel supported at all.” Are they supportive of me and my dreams? Are they supportive of me and my faith? So—you know, as you think about deacons and you think about people in your church—next generation people in your church—wow, make sure you are supportive.

5. Non-judgmental. 49% of those who dropped out said the church is judgmental. In other words, we look at people and right away we decide whether they’re in or out, or we decide whether they’re good or bad—

Abigail:
—judge them—to show favor to them, and that’s why you got that whole verse on make sure you’re not favoring the rich—

Bruce:
—right? Yeah. And in our society today, there are certain buzzwords, and I won’t name them because it might be different by the time you read this. But you know that there are some societal places where church as a whole (with a big “C”)—people will say it’s judgmental. But do they experience that in your church? And if so, this is time for leadershipto say, “How do we root this out? How do we deal with this? Are we dealing with people who are gossipers and say, ‘Oh dear, about so-and-so’—and how are you going to address that—in order to change the characteristic of your particular church?”

6. Forgiving. In other words, you don’t have to be perfect. One of the most influential books I’ve ever read is written by a musician (which has been one—I love that). But in the 1970s, musician John Fisher wrote a book called 12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee (and then in parentheses said, “like me”). And so he talked about the fact that the church is known for looking down on people and judging; in fact, step one is to realize, “I love to judge other people. In fact, one of my most favorite things I do—I love to picture people as less than I am.”

Abigail:
Definitely a characteristic and tendency of our sinful nature is there right away.

Bruce:
So—what are we going to do? But when people fail, what happens? That’s a good indicator of whether it’s a judgmental church or not. Another one of my favorite authors is Brennan Manning, who was an alcoholic Episcopal priest and had a huge impact on people—and huge impact in my own life. But he would have periods where, you know, he did magnificent ministry, and then he would end up having a falling again, and he’d get drunk. And he said it was very different—the reaction of his church than that of his alcoholics group. He said, the church would say, “Weren’t you praying enough? Did you do—”

Abigail:
—right away judges, and—and—

Bruce:
—not a sense of forgiving and receiving again; whereas he went to a group, and they’re just kind of like, “Oh, okay—you’re human—

Abigail:
—part of the journey you’re working through.”

Bruce:
Can people fail in your church and be forgiven? Oftentimes, that’s not true.

Abigail:
And I think creating a culture of that—people feel like they can’t fail—well, that’s going to make people want to not tell the truth about something if they’ve gone wrong. It’s going to make people not want to be authentic. It’s going to make them not want to be these things that, again, encourage that authenticity, the sincerity—you hide—

Bruce:
—Now, you know, most powerful moment with my mother—I didn’t realize till 30 years after. In the church I went to as a young woman—got pregnant—and she had to stand up before the congregation and confess her sin against the seventh commandment. And afterwards, you know, this woman was standing in the back of church, and everybody’s avoiding her, and my mother—I was probably eight years old at the time—my mother goes up to her, throws her arms around her, and looks around and says, “Looks like you and I are the only two sinners here.” I didn’t know until 30 years later that she was pregnant when she got married, and so she could be forgiving because she knew she was a sinner. And the only churches that can be forgiving are those who are made up of people who know they’re sinners. So—this is a characteristic for deacons to be aware of.

7. Inspirational. And that is not that, you know, they have the right kind of music and that sort of thing, but that church members, by their life, are inspirational. I’ve shared some people who’ve inspired me in churches that I serve. 43% of those who stay said there were people in the church that they admired and inspired them. 20% of those who dropped out said, “No—there weren’t those kind of people that I could look at and say, ‘Yeah, that’s the kind of life I want—’

Abigail:
—I want to see.” They’re an example. They’re a role model, yeah.

Bruce:
And so, you know, I pray for a young man every day because I was his mentor. In the church that I was serving, they had to choose a mentor before they made profession of faith—to lead them through some studies and prayer and become one of those connections to the person later on. And, you know, that was one way to say, “Okay, I’m connected to younow, and you to me now.” I don’t know if he admires me or not, but we were able to identify several people in the church that were admirable as we talked about that in our studies.

8. Caring. 33% of those who left and 59% of those who stayed… 33% who left said, “No, this church doesn’t careabout the people here.” 59% of those who stayed said, “Yes, they care—and sometimes cared about me.” The church I went to as a child, up through the time I got married at the age of 22, cared about me—financially supported me in my education. They provided education and programs for me, and—yikes—I look back at them. I’m sad to say that that church failed to exist 10 years after I left them. But—yeah—it was caring.

Are you caring about people? You’re a deacon, right? You’re one of those—extension of Jesus’ mercy and servants. Are you caring for that group of people?

9. Welcoming. 37% of those who left said, “No.” 65% of those who stayed said, “Yep—this place welcomes people like me—people in general.”
10. Unified (not cliquish). 45% of those who left said they never fit in with the right people. 27% of those who stayed [reported the opposite]—and the other—the group is caring for each other in a large way.

Bruce:
So—that’s kind of a tough list, but this is the kind of churches that keep young adults.

What Deacons Can Do

Bruce:
So—your role: pray for your church; work for the church; yeah—identify younger adults you can invite into ministry.

Abigail:
I think that’s so important too, because I think that can be a struggle. Yes, experience is so important in ministry, but it’s so important that you’re looking for people and identifying younger people, even if—you know—yeah, they’re going to make mistakes; they’re not going to have the experience. But they need to be invited into ministry. They need to be encouraged in ministry. They need to be empowered, like Timothy was empowered, and we read about—he was very young. “Don’t let anyone look down on you because you are young.” Absolutely.

Bruce:
Yeah. So—who are those people in that generation that you can say, “Come on with me. I’m going to be doing this.” One of the churches I’ve served in retirement as part-time support to the pastor—he was hauling young people to the local rescue mission. And he would sit with them at tables—with these people who were alcoholics, most of them drug-addicted—and would care about them, and—my goodness. And then he would invite people from Teen Challenge, which is known for young adults who are having problems—he would invite kids from the church to go—have to—have to invite these people to his church, and then kids to the church to sit at tables with them, to hear their story. And it was all an intention to say, “This is part of our ministry to care about these people.”

You care, too. Who are those people in your church?

Closing

Bruce:
Well, we’ve come to the end. Abby, we hope this has been helpful to you. Again, Christian Leaders Institute—we have a plethora of courses that can help you grow in your ministry, but our hope and prayer for you is that as deacons, you will be making an impact. You will be spreading the love of Jesus Christ around your church and your ministry.

Abigail:
You deacons have such an opportunity to really be the hands and feet of Jesus, and that’s why that word deacon—servant—and servant being just so key to what we’re called to be as Christians. It’s a call for all of us, and this deacon role is crucial. So, yeah—I’ve enjoyed so much digging into this, and even though I am personally not serving as a deacon right now, it is inspiring and motivating for me as a whole—throughout my life—to look at this, and the church I’m attending, to look at this and things like that. And so, yeah—we’re so glad that you’ve been a part of this course, and we just pray that God really blesses you in whatever your next step is after taking this—

Bruce:
Yes, thank you. Blessings on you and your ministry.