Video Transcript: Church Discipline (Restoring the Straying)

Church Discipline (Restoring the Straying)

Opening

Bruce:
Alright, we are here, and we’re in the last session of this elder course, and it has been quite a wonderful time exploring quite a lot of different topics on this. But we still have one more topic, and it can be a little bit of a challenging one, yeah.

What do you—how do you and your church deal with sin? It’s called discipline. How do you discipline people who are stepping outside? How do you bring people back? That’s the goal. This is a tricky, tricky thing in the church, and so we’re going to talk about it, and hopefully, again, give you some tips, as well as some understanding of a process of discipline that hopefully God will use in powerful ways to bring people who are, you know, starting to stray—one of those sheep who’s lost.

And, you know, Jesus said, what do you do? You’ve got 100 sheep and one of them is lost. Wow. You go look for that lost one. And this is ways of dealing with people who are getting lost. And so it’s my hope and prayer that God will use this session to prepare you to deal positively and hopefully successfully with restoring people.

So let’s get to it.

What Is Corrective Church Discipline?

Bruce:
Corrective church discipline: church discipline is the process of correcting sin in the life of the congregation and its members. Nothing too radical about that, right? But it’s rarely done. I think in today’s world, people will drop out of the church and nobody ever contacts them.

So how do we correct sin in the life of the congregation? There’s such a thing like prophetic church discipline—that’s one kind of church discipline. It shines the light of God on sin; in other words, brings Scripture. Just example of gossip—you know that, according to Scripture, is one of the things that is wrong. Paul’s letter to the Ephesians talks about that. And yet, what do you do with those people who are kind of going around sharing?

How do you shine the light of God on sin? How do you bring it to light, and then how do you correct it?

Scripture Case Study: 1 Corinthians 5

Bruce:
Here’s a major passage about this. This is Paul’s first letter to the Corinthians:

It is actually reported that there is sexual immorality among you, and of a kind that even pagans do not tolerate. A man is sleeping with his father’s wife. And you are proud! Shouldn’t you rather have gone into mourning and have put out of your fellowship the man who has been doing this? For my part, even though I am not physically present, I am with you in spirit. As one who is present with you in this way, I have already passed judgment in the name of our Lord Jesus on the one who has been doing this. So when you are assembled and I am with you in spirit, and the power of our Lord Jesus is present, hand this man over to Satan for the destruction of the flesh, so that his spirit may be saved on the day of the Lord.
Your boasting is not good. Don’t you know that a little yeast leavens the whole batch of dough? Get rid of the old yeast, so that you may be a new unleavened batch—as you really are. For Christ, our Passover lamb, has been sacrificed. Therefore let us keep the Festival, not with the old bread leavened with malice and wickedness, but with the unleavened bread of sincerity and truth.
I wrote to you in my letter not to associate with sexually immoral people— not at all meaning the people of this world who are immoral, or the greedy and swindlers, or idolaters. In that case you would have to leave this world. But now I am writing to you that you must not associate with anyone who claims to be a brother or sister but is sexually immoral or greedy, an idolater or slanderer, a drunkard or a swindler. Do not even eat with such people.
What business is it of mine to judge those outside the church? Are you not to judge those inside? God will judge those outside. “Expel the wicked person from among you.”

Now, I dare say you’ve never heard a sermon on that passage, yeah, just because this is the tough, tough, tough stuff. Now, Paul—okay, this man is sleeping with his father’s wife. Obviously, it’s not his mother. So it’s, you know, whatever happened there, but sexually involved—and this is happening within the church setting.

What happens within the church setting?

Cautions: How Discipline Is Often Done Poorly

Bruce:
Now this—I approach this subject with great hesitation, because church discipline is too often done so, so poorly that it reflects on us as a church as a whole; that people look at the church and what do they say? They say: (1) we’re hypocrites, in that we create standards that we don’t live by; and (2) we’re judgmental. And it’s because we don’t do this well. We don’t do it lovingly. We don’t do it with the idea of bringing people back into fellowship and back in line with the Word of God.

The Gentle Goal: Restoration (Galatians 6:1)

Bruce:
One of the very, very more positive statements in church discipline is this one from Galatians 6:

Brothers and sisters, if someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently. But watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

We’re going to come back to that verse in a minute.

Other Guidance Passages

Bruce:
Here’s another one from 1 Thessalonians:

We urge you, brothers and sisters, warn those who are idle and disruptive, encourage the disheartened, helpthe weak, be patient with everyone.

In other words, this is being done—this is Paul, in another situation, who is just saying, you know, take this seriously. Be engaged. Don’t just cut people off. Don’t just throw them out. Engage them in a process.

Or this one from Paul writing to Timothy:

Do not entertain an accusation against an elder unless it is brought by two or three witnesses. But those elders who are sinning you are to reprove before everyone, so that others may take warning.

In other words, do it seriously, so that people know it’s not that we are gathering here as the only gathering of the pure—I hate that idea, because none of us is without sin, right? But we take it seriously that we help each other toward a good and full life.

And then 2 Timothy: people who have a form of godliness but deny its power—have nothing to do with such people.

And Titus:

Avoid foolish controversies and genealogies and arguments and quarrels about the law, because these are unprofitable and useless. Warn a divisive person once, then warn them a second time. After that, have nothing to do with them. You may be sure that such people are warped and sinful; they are self-condemned.

Divisive people—yeah.

Practical Story: Divisiveness and Warning

Bruce:
When I moved to California, I joined another man in ministry. He was old enough to be my father, had been in that church eight years, and so he knew what was going on. All of a sudden I was getting, as I’ve said before, bombarded with people complaining about this, that, or another thing.

I went to our weekly meeting with my partner in ministry and said, “Are you getting this?” He said, “No. They don’t call me anymore. Tell me who’s talked to you.” He got up and wrote the names on the board—then added their friends. “We have 265 families in this church. Most of them love what we’re doing and are here because we’re moving forward. Are we going to stop for eight people and eight families?”

So, what do you do? The elders went and warned these people. They visited them and said, “What you’re doing is threatening the unity of the body, and we can’t have it anymore.” That’s loving church discipline.

Jesus’ Process: Matthew 18:15–18

Bruce:
Here’s maybe a more important verse from the words of Jesus:

If your brother or sister sins, go and point out their fault, just between the two of you. If they listen to you, you have won them over. But if they will not listen, take one or two others along, so that ‘every matter may be established by the testimony of two or three witnesses.’ If they still refuse to listen, tell it to the church; and if they refuse to listen even to the church, treat them as you would a pagan or a tax collector. Truly I tell you, whatever you bind on earth will be bound in heaven, and whatever you loose on earth will be loosed in heaven.

Not Every Sin Requires Formal Discipline

Bruce:
Now, let’s do some reflecting on this. Not every sin requires the church—or you as an elder—to be involved in discipline. People have a lot of secret sins, and you don’t need to be in everybody’s face.

Abby:
Not every person needs to—yeah.

Bruce:
But those that are outward, those that affect the body of the church, you need to be involved in.

The Attitude: Gentle Restoration vs. Pharisee Spirit

Bruce:
Done with the right attitude as well. Remember that verse from Galatians I said we’d come back to? If someone is caught in a sin, you who live by the Spirit should restore that person gently; but watch yourselves, or you also may be tempted.

There are churches that revel in discipline. In different contexts I’ve shared that one of my all-time favorite books—had the most impact of any book in my life—was 12 Steps for the Recovering Pharisee (Like Me). The author realized he was becoming a Pharisee. Definition: someone who defines a level of religiosity or spirituality he or she can keep, and then looks down on and judges everybody else who can’t.

He talks about how toxic that is within a church always looking to root out sin and look down on other people.

So we do this gently. In that Galatians passage, “restore gently” uses a word for mending nets or setting a broken bone—so it can heal. That’s the picture: healing, restoration, repentance.

Story: Tears That Restored an Alcoholic

Bruce:
I’ve got a friend who was an alcoholic. The church was going to discipline him—excommunicate. There had been various calls and meetings; he stopped going to church because he felt bugged. He wasn’t giving up alcoholism; it impacted his family and the church.

They were going to announce excommunication on Sunday. On Saturday, one of his elders showed up, rang the doorbell. My friend opened the door. The elder began weeping. “I don’t want to see this happen. What you’re doing is destructive to yourself, your family, people around you. Please reconsider.”

My friend said, “That was it. Before, they came with a hammer. This man came with tears.”

Abby:
That gentle desire of reconciliation—came with tears.

Bruce:
And watch yourselves. As you deal with sin, realize the enemy still tempts us where we are weak.

A Basic Process (Matthew 18 Applied)

Bruce:
Here’s a process of discipline:

1. Firsthand knowledge of sin in the church? Go privately and confront—just you and the person. Protect yourself, of course. If he or she repents, you’ve won them over. End process.
2. If no repentance, bring one or two others. Learn the truth together. If repentance, end process.
3. If he or she is not a leader, reprove before the local church via the leaders—“What you’re doing is wrong. We want you back.”
4. If he or she is an elder/leader, reprove before the church via the overseer (your polity may vary).

I have a question about public confession. In my tradition, when I was a child, I saw a young woman stand to confess her sin before the whole church (unmarried and pregnant). That was required by the elders if she was to be married in the church.

As a child, that made an impression. As an adult, I wondered: Why only this sin? What about pride, greed, gossip?

But something else happened that day. After the service, people avoided her. My mother walked over, threw her arms around her, and said, “Well, looks like you and I are the only two sinners here.” I didn’t learn until my 30s that my mother had been pregnant when she got married, and that the elders had met with her privately—led her into confession and repentance and restoration. She was restored, and had a marvelous ministry until she died. Restoration. Sensitive elders restored her.

Abby:
And that’s the goal of church discipline. It’s to get that beautiful restoration.

Bruce:
Yes.

When Removal Is Necessary—But Keep Praying

Bruce:
If someone is unrepentant, you may have to remove him or her from fellowship—handing over to God—but continue to pray for restoration. The goal is: we don’t just let people go, and we certainly don’t push them out.

There are situations where you should remove—for people’s safety. I’m dealing with a situation like that now, working with the pastor: it’s time to say, “You can’t be here anymore.” But still, pray for restoration.

Jesus and the Accusers (John 8)

Bruce:
John 8:1–11—the Pharisees bring a woman caught in adultery. “The Law says stone her; what do you say?” Jesus writes on the ground. Some think he was writing their sins. He says, “Let him who is without sin cast the first stone.” They dropped their stones, beginning with the oldest.

When we do discipline as elders, realize: we do it from the position that we are sinners.

Abby:
All needs to be present—right—in this process.

Bruce:
We don’t do this from the Pharisee point of view—“What a sinner! Get out!” We come saying, “God, be merciful to me, a sinner,” and then approach other sinners as sinners—not as experts.

Aim: Repentance, Help, and Hope

Bruce:
The goal is repentance—sorrow and turning from sin. They may need help. My alcoholic friend had to heavily engage in Alcoholics Anonymous and still goes to two meetings a week, decades later.

Somebody very impactful: Brennan Manning—an alcoholic Episcopal priest. He wrote The Ragamuffin Gospel. He said, “God loves you unconditionally as you are and not as you should be, because nobody is as they should be.”

We’re all ragamuffins. We’re all here to help each other become more like Christ.

So—church isn’t good at this. Do it prayerfully and carefully, but it can be powerful when people return. Do discipline. Do it well. And God will bless it.

Closing the Course

Bruce:
Thank you for this time in this course. It’s been fun talking about eldership with you for a long time here, and we hope it’s beneficial to what you’re doing in your ministry and how God can use it through you to strengthen and bless His church.

Abby:
You know, let’s close this whole thing in prayer. And—Pastor Bruce—okay?

Closing Prayer

Bruce (prayer):
Oh Lord, I just thank you for the people who are seeing this, who have been appointed or elected or somehow becoming elders. Lord, I pray that you will anoint them with the Spirit in a powerful way, so that they can have the impact you want for them.

Lord, that your church may grow in numbers, certainly as people come to faith, but grow spiritually as well, as people are led well and fed and cared for and guarded and loved and healed—all in the name of you, Jesus, the Head of the Church.

We give our ministry to you. In Jesus’ name, amen.

Abby:
Amen. Well, thank you so much, and God bless you