Victoria - Well, the second segment of our of our time this week is going to be  focused on strategies for ministering with people living with dementia. And if you haven't already looked at it, have a look at some of the resources on with  ministry's website. But also, if you'll notice, I updated my language a little bit  here. I've learned from my friends at the dementia institute that we talk about  people living with dementia, because the experience of dementia is not going to  end before their life does. And so we talk about not just people experiencing  dementia or people who have dementia, but it's people living with dementia. And so I just want to think about how people, people will live with this disease until it  takes their earthly bodies, but they live on as valuable souls and with the power  of the gospel, live on in Christ. So be encouraged. But just note, if you hear a  little bit different language used in the other video clips shared next now,  Barbara is going to share the quote that I promised she would read from John  Swinton's book called becoming friends of time. It's a really helpful read when  considering persons with intellectual and developmental disabilities, dementia  and other reasons that just cause us to slow down and to minister with presence and patience and to listen more carefully to God's still small voice in the  readings for this week is an article by John Swinton, so you can experience a  short bit of his writing, specifically on dementia. He's also written a fabulous  book called Dementia living in the memories of God, which I love, and I highly  recommend as well, if this is a topic that you need to do some more thinking  about. So Barb's going to introduce you via this quote from John Swinton that I  just want to say there is also more to dive into, if you appreciate his perspective  and you're ready for some pretty academic reading, but some great resources to continue in thinking about this. So listen to Barb share this quote and some  other great details about ministry with people with living with dementia.  

Barb - Just loved this part of the book. The intro to the book, becoming friends of time. Wanted you to hear this. As a hospital chaplain, I spent many hours  alongside people whose brains were deteriorating such that memory and  cognition were no longer central to the way in which they encountered the world. As I watched people with advanced dementia sing and worship, I could not help  but be caught up in the deep mystery of what it might mean to worship Jesus  when you have forgotten who he is. Holding the hand of someone with  advanced dementia, and coming to realize that they are not someone who used  to be, but someone who is important in the present and indeed has a vocation  that will lead them into the future was to say the least, humbling, challenging  and quite beautiful. I did not know then. I did not then know about the deep  connections between these experiences of brain damage and the redemptive  power of God's time, but I did come to know that damage to our brains. Are you  ready for this does not take away our humanness, quite the opposite. It  sometimes provided me an opportunity to expand my understanding of what it 

means to be human, I began to realize that who we are is not the sum of our  neurological configurations. There is a sense in which this book is working out  formally ideas that I already knew intuitively. Isn't that a beautiful quote? And I  again Tori, and I would highly recommend that you read that book, becoming  friends of time dementia is part of that. He has a section on persons who have  experienced stroke, persons who have a level of intellectual disability that  requires pretty significant support to function in everyday life. But it really is a  powerful book to read. But I just wanted to spend this time again, talking about  strategies, ideas to try, but first, just addressing this. You know, why did we get  into this? I mean, if you think about our lives, it makes sense autism, we've had  children with autism and in schools and adults we've known in congregations,  and same with persons with intellectual disabilities. But I think one of the things  is just listening to congregations and pastors. They just were having so many  questions, what do we do? How do we interact? How do we continue to worship  with and learn together as a community? When a person has been diagnosed  with dementia, then Tori and I got both pulled in on personal levels, one with a  grandparent, and me with my father. I know I referenced him earlier in our time  together. So one of the things that I found myself doing is running to my  classroom at Zeeland Christian School on my way to visit my father, and it was  like I was borrowing supplies to have a good conversation with dad, and it's like,  oh, wait, there are some strategies that I'm pulling on in order to have  conversation with my father. And and then that curriculum that we showed last  week about intellectual disability from friendship ministries, that was the final  straw. And that was when we had somebody call and say, Does this  information? Does this material work when you are using it with people with  dementia? And Tori and I both went, ooh, you know what? This gives us a  chance to try it out. At that point, my father was placed in a Memory Care  Center, and so we field tested the material. And so between visits and between  material curriculum that we had written that we were field testing with persons  with dementia, and again, just the barrage of questions from pastors  congregation members, we thought this is something we need to think about. So again, Tori did a great job of explaining a little bit about what it is, and now I get  to think about some strategies that may be helpful, or maybe some that are not.  And so I just want to point out that one of the things that I absolutely laugh about is when we ask somebody with dementia, do you remember my name? Really?  Why would you ask that? What a way to lead in a conversation? There's a  there's a sense that that we should just wear that name tag, Barb, you know, so  that person can call me by that name, I can just say, Hey, my name is Barb. But  if that's been your intro line, I would just get rid of that one. We're not doing a  memory test. We're trying to have a connection together. So I would take that off the list. Another thing that I think I found is that sometimes people think that if  they talk more loudly to somebody with dementia, then maybe they'll understand

them better. The truth is, there are many persons with dementia who are also  experiencing some sensory differences, and sometimes louder sounds can be  confusing, and now I've got this person yelling at me. And are they mad? How  do I interpret this? And so with the brain changes, raising your voice does not  

mean that person is going to have a better conversation with you. So take that  one off the list, too. The other thing that I just have to point out is that I've heard  so many times, you know, so and so I've heard is having a bad day. I think I'm  not going to visit. Remember back to what Tori said about how that pleasure  center is something we experience. If you're an individual who knows that  person, who has relationship with that person, the tone of your voice, the way  you approach that person, ah, that might just make a huge difference in that  person's life. You bring that pleasure place and can perhaps alter a bad day, or  at least be a reminder to that person of care and love, and that is always a good  thing, so be careful about avoiding visits, because I don't think that makes much  sense at all. I wouldn't use that on your list of why I shouldn't go. But here are  some things that we did find do work again, a couple of reminders. First of all, all behavior is communication. And I'll say that when a person behaves a certain  way as a child, we are often saying, Okay, but what are they trying to  communicate? This happens in in with young children all the time. Happens with babies, right? A baby cries, and we're there trying to interpret, do they need their diaper changed? Are they hungry? Do they want to be bounced? Or they have  gas? Whatever we're trying to interpret that cry. They smile, right? Oh, they're  happy. They're pleased. All of those things are true even without words. Babies  communicate through behavior, but that is true all the way up. And so now we  have a population that used to have words, and this individual used to be able to say, excuse me, the temperature in this room is really quite hot. I need it turned  down, but can no longer access those words. So a lot of times you see  behaviors come out, and we need to remember that it's on us to be doing that  detective work of trying to figure out, Okay, let me interpret this, not that they're  mad at me, and that's why they're yelling or, you know, stomping off, or  whatever, they're trying to communicate something. And if we can help with that  detective process, it would be really, really good. The other thing that I think we  need to remember is who that person is. Do you remember, although these are  configured now in a beautiful array on this poster, remember that frame of words that we talked about the other day who we are in Christ I believe this is so  important that we remember who is in the center of that. We can put our loved  ones face in the middle of that. We can put that individual who's been diagnosed with Alzheimer's, those frame of words, these these pieces, these words, were  not ours to take or earn. Those were given to us as we stepped into that place of being in Christ. Those are God provided words. Those don't change based on  our ability. Thankfully, we didn't earn them in the first place. And so while that  individual and some of those brain changes that Tori talked about do happen, 

those words don't change. Still an image bearer, still a dearly loved child of God, still forgiven, still considered important and indispensable, still, as John Swinton  points out, so beautifully, called to do God's Kingdom work, we have to  remember who is that person in Christ put that person's name in the middle of  those words. What an important thing. As we go, visit, as we interact, as we  think about that person's place in our community, those words don't change  anyway, so I think that that is something we need to remember. So a few more  specific things, some that do work. I said this before, wear your name tag and  remember, and I believe I touched on this before as well. Just because that  person can't say your name does not mean that person does not know who you  are. That person may recognize the tone of your voice, the way you say hello,  the way you interact. That person knows who you are. I knew that my father  knew me as he was making eye contact with me, no words the day before he  passed, or actually, this was hours before he passed, he looked at me and he  looked at me deeply for a whole hour without breaking eye contact as we sat  there, knowing one another in just a different way. So don't think because a  person can't say Barb or Lois or whoever you are, that they don't know who you  are knowing somebody can take on many multi sensory forms be there for that  person. I think another thing that we have found does work are pictures. You  know, that's often what I borrowed. Sometimes I'd make a theme for the day as I was going to visit. But I think this works also after church. If you are in  community in a church setting, this person is part of that community too. It's  coffee time. What are you going to do? You know? What? If you have a picture  of something you know would be meaningful for that person, an example of  something you shared together that's in your pocket now you've got something  to focus on and talk about at Coffee time. What a wonderful gift to be able to  share through a picture. So again, if you can go away from a words only,  connection that can be helpful. If you're part of a small group with this person,  again, to talk around pictures can be helpful. I loved my iPad when I would go  for that visit, partly because I could make those pictures large. You can do that  too in a church setting. I mean, we carry so many different things, and perhaps  your phone even has the capability of making a larger portion of a picture.  Sometimes as vision changes, it was important to try to make that photo even  larger. But, you know, I would say again, whatever you can use, whether they're  video clips something, but if you can get it close with that field of vision, adjust  the size, that can be helpful, too, as person's brain changes over time. Another  thing that we used a lot, I used a lot, was a prayer shawl. I don't know if you're  familiar with that many churches make those for people, but it's a hand knit  opportunity to hold on to, and the people who make them have prayed over  every stitch as they're making those prayer shawls. They have knit prayer into  that. And so, you know, often I use that with personally, but also as part of a  Bible study that I'm going to tell you about in a few minutes. But it was one of 

those things that, again, we could share. That person could hold it as we  prayed. It was a tangible, touchable thing. I know there's a pastor that I work  with whenever she goes to bring communion or interact with communion,  whether that's part in church or in a different setting, in a home, or whatever that may be, she always asks this person to hold a cross as they as they celebrate  the Lord's Supper. And so again, it's a seamless thing as part of the worship  service. Would you hold this as we think today, of the sacrifice of Jesus for each  of us, and then goes on to deliver communion. But also would do that if she  were visiting personally that person? So what can you think of that you could  hold that would represent something special or important? Those things have  been they're just tangible ways of interacting with a person that involve visuals,  which tends to be a much more stable sense and with than words that often  fade. One of the things that we discovered was this beautiful opportunity to  worship. And we just have to tell you about this, because it was this wonderful  language that we could share, even when so many words were lost with this  person's life. So I let you know that we went to sort of field test this material  totally. Please check this out. But this is one of those situations where while we  were thinking, we were coming to bless a group, what Tori and I found out is that this group blessed us big time. We had a chance to pilot these materials to see if they were effective with persons with dementia. So as I mentioned my father, we had him be part of a typical four to six member adult small group. He was the  only person with dementia in that group. And then we also said, since we're here anyway, we might as well lead a Bible study for persons with dementia who are  also part of this place that may enjoy that so we had between 14 and 20 people  from week to week, and maybe three or four facilitators who were part of that  setting. And I cannot tell you what I have learned about how deep people who  have lived their lives in congregations, in worshiping God, how deep that is, how that language remains when other language is gone. It Marvels me. It's a marvel to me, how God constructed that place in the brain that hangs on to those  particular memories. What a phenomenal gift. So again, we came in and, you  know, some things that we just happened to try, just because we thought we  should, again, on a whim. I said, Would somebody like to open in prayer  seriously, because nobody really talked much there, and we'd ask questions and but sure enough, somebody raised his hand, prayed this prayer, five complex  sentences that came pouring out of his mouth. It was just a powerful experience  as he led us and individualized it Lord, as we begin this Bible study. Time  together, really. So again, I don't know how long it had been since man had put  together five complex sentences, but the staff there truly was in awe of what was happening in this Bible study. The Bible study materials are very visual, and so  we'd say, Hey, do you remember this Bible story? Everybody would say, No. And then we would run it on the screen, and people would interact with the with the  with the words that were spoken, as well as the story, the materials themselves, 

again, lots of visuals were there. We talked about emotions, and some people  could point to some emotion pictures that were provided, but it was just this  interactive time. We had a schedule. Yeah, you can believe we did a schedule of events that was going to happen, and people were just delight to be part of this  time. We we would stay in that room for an hour and a half, an hour and a half  with individuals who are placed in a locked facility. And the activity director left  after one of our times together, and she was her face was just pale. I said, are  you okay? And she said, These people, they walk around so confused all the  time. I just can't believe what I just saw. What she saw was the Holy Spirit  invading this time of worship. What she saw was people engaged, every mouth  moving with the apostles creed, every mouth moving with the songs that were  singing. One woman who wasn't able to move her mouth as much as others,  she started taking a pen and drawing these colored pencils. And we said, Has  she ever drawn before? And they said, no, never seen her do that before. What  was God showing her at that time? I don't know. People would hold that prayer.  Shawl we pray for one another? And I think one of the most powerful things we  did was took our name tags, when we can put them on a note card that says,  Please pray for and then we put them in half. Everybody chose one and took  them back to their rooms. We saw several of those cards next to a primary chair  with that where that person often sat in their room. And I know that I went to my  father's room and I said, Dad, you picked my name. And again, this was a long,  long after we really had a lot of meaningful interaction, just when I would come  and blither on. He touched, patted that card, and he said, Honey, you have so  many special gifts. Oh, I treasure that. But people treasured the chance to do  something, to do something tangible. They had a job. They were to pray for this  person. And several people brought them back the next week, and they said,  I've been praying for Bob. Who is he again? And they didn't even know who that  person was been in this Bible study, but they were praying for Bob all week.  They had the card to prove it. It was truly an amazing experience, as we called  people into song and scripture, prayer, conversation about who God is. It was  just a delightful time. So I can't recommend this enough if you're looking for a  tool, even when I would go visit my dad, I'd pull up these lessons on my  computer, because we could share Scripture together. We could share a Bible  story together. We could we could share some fun activities together. This some  of them are sort of playful, and we had a really great time, but I just can't tell you what I learned from that, the power of having worship together, so much so that  it came this is my father. He had recently fallen, so he's got a bandage on his  head. And this is about six weeks before dad passed away. This is my  stepmother, Ruth, who was beside him. And this is on. I'm glad you're not going  to listen to the video clip that we have it on video, but this would be the Banstra  family, the Grands and great grands. And what happened on that day, it was  Christmas, and we said, what gift can we give to dad, to grandpa, to great 

grandpa. We knew that opening a gift was far beyond what dad could do. He  wasn't really interacting much with people. He would say those little social  phrases as people would come in, but we knew he loved to worship, and we  knew he loved scripture and song, and so we did a Christmas program. We did  it in a place he was the most comfortable. We We moved the furniture out of the  way, and we were just delighted to spend that time with my father. And you  know, I think one of the things that happened those two little cuties walked in.  He didn't probably know them. Their names, certainly not, but he saw they were  dressed in those costumes, and his first words were Aw, and they came in their  costumes, and the baby in the bath towels and look how we're dressed. We  sang first verses of Christmas songs interspersed with scripture to the  Christmas story. Dad sang along at each turn, and I thought bravely. At the end,  I turned to dad and I said, Dad, would you like to close in prayer? Because at  this point he'd been using his voice a lot, he was interacting, and on that day, six weeks before he passed away, not only did dad do a prayer that was meaningful about the season of the year and the joy this brings us, he did a call to prayer,  just celebrating that we were there together as a family to celebrate this gift.  Seriously, Holy Spirit. Thank you for invading our worship. And we just I learned  that we need to do this at every turn, especially for those who have been  inundated with this, that dad has been practicing these Christmas songs since  he was two years old, and at 92 they are very much a part of his heart. But  again, we all treasure that time. And I know it's soon to be a year since this  Christmas performance, and then soon after that, a year since dad passed  away. But one of the things that we will treasure as a family is watching that  video when we were there, singing very poorly, but singing together and  celebrating Christmas one last time in that place of being together here and now dad having a fullness of joy that we can only imagine. Anyway, I wanted to say  this, but something else that I was truly thinking about as relates to this topic of  strategy is, really, are we planning ahead? Have we? Have we thought about  dementia proofing our children's ministries. I was thinking that we could get in a  room and dad and I could share scripture. We could share a similar bank of  songs. We could share creeds. Are we doing that anymore? The songs that our  children are singing in children's ministry? Will they be here five years from now, 10 years from now, when they are 92 what will be at the core of their hearts?  And sure, maybe there will be some kind of a cure or pill you can take to not  have dementia. I don't know, but I do wonder, are we developing a bank of  intergenerational songs, readings, creeds, that we can say together, that we can learn together, that that intergenerational picture, that whoops, that  intergenerational picture that you notice here is one. Can we all sing that Hark  the herald angels sing? Do we all know that one? Do we all know amazing  grace? Are we all able to share that time together? Do we truly all speak the  same language of worship, or are there pieces of it that we can all decide to 

learn together, so that across ages and generations, we have the option of  entering into that, what I have called the level playing field of worship language.  So some things to think about. Hopefully this is helpful to you as you imagine  visiting or as you actually visit, whether that person is part of your church and  coming each week, and maybe you do investigate using that together material  as one of your adult Sunday school materials that everyone can participate in,  including this individual who's been recently diagnosed. Maybe you begin to just  wear name tags in your community of seniors, because you have a few people  that are experiencing beginning signs of dementia, whatever that may be. But  there's another big piece with persons with dementia, and whether that person is still part of coming each week to your community and relying a little more on  those visuals we talked about, pictures, things to hold, or whether that person is  part of a care facility. We just want to give you some ideas about creating  personalized plans, and not just thinking about the person with dementia, but  thinking for those who surround that person's life as a caregiver, 



آخر تعديل: الاثنين، 4 مايو 2026، 9:03 AM