Video Transcript: Unit 8, Video 3

Victoria - wow, we are rounding up week eight already. Thanks for joining me in  this. I'm excited that we continue to go on through these things as we talk about  intellectual disabilities. I'm going to allow you to hear from Barb again for a  segment, and then I want to talk very specifically after she's done. So I'll tell you  a little bit about some of the work that a ministry is doing with adult foster care  group homes with adults with intellectual disabilities and connecting them with  churches. So here we go in creating our congregations of belonging with people  of all abilities as we talk about personalized plans for people with IDD, 

Barb - I will tell you, while there's support needed, sometimes for an individual,  sometimes there's a family that's also part of the deal. And so there was a child  with an intellectual disability, actually was included quite well through universal  

design, young child, they sort of staffed extra people in rooms, and they had  some tools already available that worked well with this child, but this child had  put a significant strain on and the care of this child had put a significant strain on mom and dad, so much so that the congregation found out that they weren't  sure that mom and dad were going to that this marriage was going to make it.  Mom and Dad were exhausted. The child required a lot of trips to therapy. They  had no time left for themselves. They was not an only child. There were other  children in the family, and this family was exhausted. And it's also sometimes  hard for a family to receive that place of saying, we need help to make that  statement, sometimes takes a lot of courage. And again, depending on culture,  there are a whole lot of factors with that aren't there that we discussed. But I  think at this point, the pastor had a significant enough relationship with his family that he called them in and they knew that they had child did well at church. They just really wanted to support this family as a whole. So what ended up  happening is the pastor had a talk with them and said, Look, we would like to  designate four families that you would get to know, that would get to know your  children, and we want to come over one night a week, or you pick a time on  Saturday or Sunday, whatever we want to provide a date night for you, too. And  the couple said, No, we don't need that. You know, it's not what that's not  important. We're surviving. And the pastor said, stop, stop. You need to let the  church be the church. And this pastor was pretty pushy, and said, I don't, I don't.  At this point, I love you guys. We're going to show up if you make us. We don't  care if you stay in your car in the driveway. We're coming after you. You know,  train us with your children and what you prefer. And of course, because they  were coming to the child's home, the parents had to know these people and and they were screened, and all of those important safety things as well, but we're  going to come, and you don't have to go away. You can just sit in your car, but  we're coming. And sure enough, this pastor was forceful enough, because they  knew that this couple needed some time together, they just did. And it was a  beautiful thing. You know, as a sibling had a choir concert. They had four sets of 

names that could say, hey, you know, are you free? Or as the team of four heard about the choir concert, they said, let me come and sit with Devin so that you  can go to Sabrina's choir concert at school. But they were, became this larger  family that could come alongside. And it was funny, because it's really true. The  first night the people showed up, that's exactly what the couple did. They were  so like, we don't know if we should leave. What's going to happen. They literally  backed the car into the driveway and stayed there for two hours. But they had  two hours in the car together to talk and probably worry. After that, it didn't  happen anymore. They just got in their car and off they went for their two hours  of time together, but that church really saw, look, sometimes we need to have a  plan for the individual, and they had already done that. They had good things in  place for children with intellectual disabilities, just as part of universal design,  this child didn't have a personalized plan when this child went to church, but  they had the personalized plan actually around the family, because that mom  and dad absolutely needed to have some people power to come in so that they  could breathe, that they could plan as a couple, that they could delight in each  other. Wasn't all focused on just keeping the lid on on this boiling pot at home,  as it seemed to them. So again, a little pushy, perhaps, and might not take that  tack in some communities, but this pastor felt comfortable in making that  statement, let the church be the church, and what a gift. And really isn't that  true? As the couple became more engaged, they were wonderful singers, so  they joined the choir. And there were enough people then that knew Devin and  could step in so that they could practice their gifts with get Devin and the mom  and dad could use their gifts as part of the choir and leading and singing. So  another story of how we take puzzle pieces and put them together to make this  master Jigsaw that's that's beautiful. So that's a that's a story of a young one.  And again, I'll just be fair, there are many times when a congregation does put  together a responsive design plan for a child, and it might involve many of the  things that I have already talked about for the child. It might involve, you know,  having some alternate curriculum, having some a certain set of materials in the  room and and so it's part of a personalized plan, not just part of what the church  already does. Might have taught a lesson to the peers so that they better  understand why their friend can get up at a certain point during their Bible story  time, and they're not allowed to do that, you know? So, so we sometimes have  to prep peers in that setting as well. So those are some of the things. You may  be in a church where buddies are already, there are those Insta buddies, like I  talked about, or maybe that's something that you want to look into to see if that  would be a set of people you could raise up that could just join together with that individual and be part of a particular setting. So just in fairness, I wanted to note, sometimes we do need plans for children in the church environment. This  church just didn't happen to be that it was the parents who needed support, all  right. And then I wanted to talk about this age, young adult with an intellectual 

disability, I'll tell you a common pattern I already told the story a few weeks back  about Jonathan, about how his mom wanted him to have people who knew it  was his birthday. Excuse me, just a minute, and how they arrange sort of that  social circle for Jonathan, but I wanted to point out a big issue that can happen,  especially in that young adult time in certain cultures and communities I know  where I am living, there's a big thing that happens after this thing called high  school, kids leave and they go to college. Often that doesn't happen with  persons with intellectual disabilities. That person stays and so while there may  have been significant bonding with peers, programming people who were  together many times, that individual is still here and oftentimes isolated because others have moved on to that college experience or moved away, and then they  got married, and again, it's just a very challenging time for some individuals. And so I've had the joy of learning from some communities right now is, how do we  think about that time? How do we create a better bridge into that community as  a whole, because there are so many issues that can surround that young adult  time. So I did tell one story. There's another church that I'm aware of that  creates a position that's basically one of hospitality, and they train people to  come alongside. So this is buddies for young adults, but it doesn't just apply to  persons with an intellectual disability. It could be for a person who's a visitor to  the church, new to the church, an introvert, a person who just doesn't want to  go. They raise up a group of people that form relationship and then go with them into that environment. And this has worked incredibly well for some persons with intellectual disability, partly because we need, again, to find ways to form  relationships and those places of belonging within that adult population. So I  think that that has been powerful. Another project with young adults and adults  has been launched by Dr Eric Carter and Dr Bill Gavinta. It's called putting faith  to work. And many times after the school season, again, we have some  individuals that are looking for a place of employment, and they would contend  that church has some wonderful connections to maybe find that place. And so  there's a process. And if you go to the Vanderbilt faith and theology, or faith and  church community on the Vanderbilt site, if you Google Dr Eric Carter, you'll find  this thing called putting faith to work. And so if that's something that your  congregation might be interested in looking at there's a very wonderful scripted  opportunity. And again, it's finding employment. But even more than that, it's  using relationships within the church to be able to really get to know this person, and then to say, okay, this person really enjoys vacuuming. I happen to know  somebody, a friend, who owns a hotel. How can we figure this out, right?  There's a lot of carpet in that hotel. So it's taking that particular age, that stage  of life, and saying, Look, we can, we can put some interesting options together.  So putting faith to work, finding ways to build that bridge, maybe again, building  relationships a new as an adult within that congregation, as opposed to a child  and youth. One thing I do want to point out, we have had many congregations 

come to us and say, Well, yeah, but that person really, I know he's a fifth grader,  but he's learning at a at a four year old level. Don't you think that we could have  that child to stay in preschool? No. First of all, imagine a parent dropping off a  four year old, and you've got a person in there who's much larger if you have a  teen, and this person has an intellectual disability, who's gifted and caring for  preschoolers. Absolutely, that person could join as a worker or somebody in that  environment. But we do recommend keeping a person with their age mates and  adapting within that setting, as opposed to stalling out and always being part of  that one setting. Again, it doesn't allow for those bonds to form, and also just  doesn't seem very appropriate for others dropping off their four year olds in that  setting. Finally, just wanted to make one comment, some of us are neighbors to  group homes or foster adult foster care homes, places where you might have  persons with intellectual disabilities being together in one place. I'm aware of a  church that has connection with men who live in an adult foster care home close to their place. The individuals come, they're very much part of Bible studies that  they go to worship in that space. They don't all sit in one row. They are part of  connections with different people in the congregation. This is just individuals  who happen to have intellectual disabilities living together, but they are  dispersed throughout the community so that they can get to know one another.  They don't all pick the same Bible study. They might choose different ones. One  serves as a greeter because he has that gift. An other often would take offering  because he has that gift. So they're figuring out, this is not a group of people.  These are a set of individuals who are part of our community. One of the  interesting things too, and one of the gifts I believe, a congregation can provide,  is at one point, the members of the congregation were a little bit concerned at  the clothing that the people were wearing. And had heard things they were just  so glad to be by snacks and food, and they were eating that up. And so that  allowed people of the church to go to their home and ask them questions, you  know, if they needed new clothes is there money for that. And found out that  there were some things happening there that I would consider, you know,  towards that neglect piece that can happen. And so, again, the gift that a  congregation can give sometimes is holding places accountable for how they  portion out money who's allowed in that place. But this church became very  active in supporting the care for these individuals and calling that team of people that ran that home to task. The gift of having people who can advocate for come  alongside of and say, Look, we don't want them to come to church hungry.  They're glad to have food along with everybody else, but these men need a  significant breakfast and lunch and dinner and snacks and, you know, whatever,  so they were able to support that place. So again, you can find some wonderful  spots. You can also find some places where you go, yeah, the church we we  want to step in. We want to promote good caregivers and people who are part of this environment. So never know how churches get involved, but my suggestion 

is look around your area. Many times there are adults in homes who no longer  have family that are part of their lives. They have the caregivers that are part of  those living places, but they may not have relationships outside of that. So could you find out, do you have a group home or an adult foster care home in your  area? Is there something that you could do to adopt that home? Could you  collect children's ministry offering to supply some gifts on people's birthdays?  Could you do a Christmas celebration together? What Could you do together  with that community, even if the members don't choose to all come to your  church? Is there a way that you could build community with that place? I know  there's so many opportunities for that and some really creative ideas to try. So  just a reminder that sometimes it's good to be involved in that level.  

Victoria - So Barb shared with you some personalized plans that have been  great examples within the church context. And I want to tell you about something just a little bit different, about again, kind of the church going out and bringing in  people and partnering with adults with intellectual and developmental disabilities who may not otherwise have much opportunity to participate in church. And so if you're in a context where you're thinking. Well, we don't actually have that many  people with intellectual differences in our ministry setting. Maybe it's time your  ministry setting goes and intentionally partners with some individuals with  intellectual disabilities in your community. Here's a little bit about what that could look like. So this organization is called the king's table ministries, and their idea  is Thrive groups. And so the process is that king's table comes alongside to  protect and assess and equip and the churches and the group homes where  these adults live, choose, coordinate, commit and encourage one another. And I  say that because adults with intellectual disabilities can be some of the most  vulnerable people in our communities, and so this organization really comes  along to protect those vulnerable individuals, so that volunteers and people from the church community who might be getting involved in their lives have a  background check, who have some training, who are equipped to really  participate well and encourage these individuals, rather than to do damage  because of what they don't know or what they simply might do wrongly. Because we cannot always control who comes to our churches, nor should we right, but  we want to make sure that if we are allowing people who are in a very  vulnerable place, that we are protecting them, and so that by welcoming all  kinds of people into our churches, we are not unintentionally endangering  someone. And so that's what king's table is a ministry that comes alongside  churches to help do. So where this all gets started is getting to know individuals.  And so what, what gets to happen is someone like myself will go into the group  home where these adults live with a group of individuals, and just say, I want to  get to get to know you so that I can introduce you to some friends at this local  church. And so we create a bio of, what does this person love to do? What are 

some things that might upset them? What can they eat? What should they not  eat? Right? What's kind of their schedule? What are they learning about? What  are they doing? And then we provide that little write up to the church and the  volunteers and say, here's who this individual is. Would you pray for this person, and would you start to get to know them? And then we set the expectations for  the group to start to get together. And within the church group, we say, you want  to always include the staff of the home, so yes, the people who are living in that  home who are living in that home, who have intellectual and developmental  disabilities, but also the staff members who are the caregivers for them. And so  those staff members may not be paid very well. They may work long hours, they  may do very hard jobs, and you want to be very encouraging and supportive for  them as well and include them in any of the fun that you might be having. And  so this fund could be virtual or in person. Sometimes you might only be able to  reach by phone or, you know, a zoom connection or kind of a FaceTime  situation, in person is always best. Here's something we have learned, though,  is that the numbers should match. So if you're going into a home with maybe  five adults with intellectual disabilities, you probably don't want to bring a group  of 10 or 12 people with you. You want maybe three to six people, so that you  kind of match up about one to one, because otherwise you're just going to be an overwhelming force in their space. And we do ask at King's table that the  commitment be for a year to get together regularly, to pray regularly for these  people, and to talk to the person who is the director of this program. We call it  the Thrive program. So talk to the director, just to check in and see how this is  going, a little bit like those community teams we talked about a couple weeks  ago. So it's a team of people coming together to really build relationship with  adults who live in a group home, and the activity goals. So every time they get  together, which should be every month for about a year. The goals are to build  relationships and to support those in the group home. And the kinds of activities  could be things like doing a service project. It might be some yard work around  the home. It might be meeting a need in the home, even building something or  fixing something or replacing something. These could be opportunities for  spiritual or personal growth, or even Staff Appreciation, where you and the  residents of the group home together make birthday cards for the staff members or throw a Valentine's party for them, or something like that, to simply say, we  appreciate you as the staff as well. Or it could be a church sponsored event.  They come to your church carnival or your summer party, or whatever it might  be, but that you intentionally go and invite the individuals of this group home to  be a part of that, and they have a significant role in it. And it's not just, oh, we'd  be glad if you come, but it's we want you to be engaged in this. How can we  help you? What's your role here? Please come and be a part of this. We know  you. We love you. We need you to be here. So some ideas for this have been  game nights to play board games or yard games, arts and crafts. So reading 

things, reading a book, reading picture books, you don't have to have people  who are readers to enjoy being read to, music and theater, doing drama  together. They're teaching a skill like painting or putting nails in a board, or  baking or cooking. You could do gals and guys times. So separate out those  individuals by guys and gals and do a girls night out, or a guys night out, or even the guys night in and the girls night in, or Girls movie, or whatever, seasonal and holiday themes and Bible study, and I've put a bunch of links in the course  material for you to look at where you can see some examples and resources for  Bible study and other ways to support spiritual formation with people with  intellectual and developmental disabilities. But I want to finger on this idea for a  moment receive the gift. Stephanie Hubach is pictured here with her son Tim,  and she wrote an article called The Gift of people with Down syndrome, and she shares about her experience interviewing parents of individuals with intellectual  and developmental disabilities like her son. And in this she talks about asking  the question, what are you most proud about your son that is not just an  achievement or a milestone. And this person reported back being struck with the power of that question because of how subtly yet powerfully it reframes what  parents should value in their children. And I know that's a theme that we have  come across a lot in this course. So Stephanie says she asked that question of  parents when she interviewed for her article, and one person's Mom replied  through tears, just who he is. So much fun, a great sense of humor, kindness  and politeness, and someone else responded, he has relational skills,  tenderness, compassion and a refusal to do anything until everyone is there. He wants to show love and kindness and respect to other people, which is really fun to be a part of. He's very tender, and I love that about him. Another parent  chimed in and said, I echo that his heart is more Jesus like than anyone in the  family. Matthew has a better grasp of and a grip on the gospel. And in that  aspect, I'm actually in awe of him. He sees people. So set you back to capture  these things. And I would encourage you to read that full article. But I'll just leave you with this thought that opening not only our hearts but our lives is essential to secure lasting change for people with Down Syndrome who have historically  lived on the margins of society and often on the margins of the church, it's not  enough to invite people with differences into our midst. We need to allow who  we are and how we function to be transformed by their presence. So I'll end it  that way for this week, and I'll see you next week as we launch into the new  topic of talking about worship with people living with dementia.