Officiating Chaplains and Ceremonies of Life Transitions: Commissionings, Retirements, and Sacred Send-Offs
Speakers: Henry Reyenga & Rev. Tom Walcot

🧭 Introduction: Why Transitions Are Sacred

[Henry]:
Last time, we explored the practical ceremonies of baptisms and house blessings. Today, we’re continuing that hands-on approach with something we see frequently in chaplaincy: life transitions.

These include:

  • Commissioning ceremonies

  • Retirement send-offs

  • New assignments or relocations

What’s important to understand is this:

Transitions can be awkward—but they are also deeply sacred.

[Tom]:
Absolutely. Whether someone is being honored or just moving on, transitions bring a mix of emotions.

Let’s take retirement, for example. Some retire joyfully—they’re ready. Others are retiring because they’re being nudged out or told “it’s time.” That’s painful.

Or a promotion—great news for the one being promoted, but what about the two others who applied and were passed over? They’re standing in the same room, smiling—but they’re quietly grieving.

🧠 Ministry Sciences Insight:

A chaplain sees what others overlook.
While others celebrate the surface moment, chaplains listen for the soul behind the smile.

🪜 Why Transitions Matter Spiritually

[Henry]:
Let’s talk about thresholds.
What do we mean by calling a transition an “open space”?

[Tom]:
A threshold is an emotionally and spiritually open moment. It’s that place where someone is asking:

  • “Who am I now?”

  • “What’s next?”

  • “Is this a beginning or an ending?”

People don’t always articulate those questions out loud, but they feel them.

So the ceremony of transition, when done well, gives people:

  • Language for the moment

  • Blessing for the journey

  • Community support for the next step

🧩 Complexity Behind the Ceremony

[Tom]:
Let’s say I’m retiring and someone else is stepping into my role.

That doesn’t just affect me. It affects:

  • The person getting promoted

  • The others who didn’t get promoted

  • The team wondering how this change will alter their culture

So you may be officiating a ceremony that celebrates one person, but it’s also stirring up insecurity, disappointment, or anxiety in others.

That’s why chaplains have to be wise and wide-eyed. We’re not just blessing a title change—we’re stewarding an entire organizational moment.

[Henry]:
That’s why I believe chaplains belong in businesses, civic departments, ministries, and even volunteer organizations.

We’re like spiritual HR—discerning not just policies and roles but hearts and souls.

🧑‍🤝‍🧑 The Personal Dimension of Retirement

[Tom]:
Retirement ceremonies are rich with emotional nuance.

  • The retiring person might be excited or deeply sad.

  • Their spouse might be thrilled or quietly panicking.

  • Finances, health, identity, and even marital roles can all shift overnight.

"I used to be VP of operations. Now I’m just… Joe."

Retirement can feel like a loss of identity. And for many—especially men—that's a major crisis. They no longer carry the job title that defined them for 30 years.

🙏 The Chaplain’s Role in Transitions

[Henry]:
You are there to:

  • Bless the person

  • Affirm the moment

  • See what others can’t

  • Minister to multiple people at once

You may be the only one asking:

“How are you feeling about this change?”
“What hopes—or fears—do you have?”

🛠 Chaplain Tools for Transitions

Here are key things to remember when leading or supporting commissioning, retirement, or send-off ceremonies:

✅ 1. Meet with the person beforehand

  • Ask for their story.

  • What does this transition mean to them?

  • What do they fear or hope?

✅ 2. Discern the emotional layers in the room

  • Promotion = joy for one, loss for others

  • Retirement = freedom for some, grief for others

  • New assignments = adventure for one, instability for others

✅ 3. Craft a tone of blessing and empathy

  • Affirm the person being honored

  • Acknowledge others’ emotions with grace

  • Invite reflection, not just applause

✅ 4. Offer a pastoral follow-up

  • One year later, call and say:

“Hey, I was remembering your retirement ceremony. How’s it going?”

  • That one touchpoint builds trust and ongoing care

📖 Biblical Insight: Blessings at the Threshold

Throughout Scripture, God’s leaders marked major transitions with prayer and blessing:

  • Moses blessed the tribes before they entered the Promised Land

  • Jesus blessed His disciples before the ascension

  • Isaac blessed his sons before they stepped into adulthood and their legacy

Biblical leaders bless at thresholds
Chaplains do the same

[Tom]:
Here’s what I’ve seen again and again:

When people are standing at a life threshold, the chaplain’s blessing becomes an anchor.

It may be 60 seconds long, but it becomes something they hold onto for years.

[Henry]:
And what you’re really doing is this:

You’re inviting God into the moment—naming that He is present here.
And you’re giving language and love to something that others might overlook.

✍️ Closing Reflection

[Tom]:
Whether it’s a promotion, a departure, or a retirement, someone is wondering:

“What happens now?”

Your role is to:

  • Bring clarity

  • Bring blessing

  • Bring spiritual presence to that question

[Henry]:
We are not just honoring a moment—we are guiding soul-level transformation.

Until next time—remember:

Transitions are sacred.
Thresholds are open space.
And you, as a chaplain, are there to bless what others overlook.

[Henry]:
You know, I’m almost teary-eyed thinking about what we’re talking about today, because I know that, Lord willing, next year I’ll be transitioning out of my role as president. I’ll become Chancellor—Founder Chancellor—and turn 65. I just turned 64 a few days ago.

[Tom]:
Happy birthday.

[Henry]:
Thank you. But just listening to you talk about retirement and transition… I’m feeling it. There are a lot of emotions.

👥 Personal Story: The Pain of Letting Go

[Tom]:
My dad was a pastor for his whole career. Everyone knew him as “Pastor Van.” That was his name, his identity. When he retired, he wasn’t Pastor Van anymore—just Norm.
And it took seven years before he figured out who he was again. That’s real.

[Henry]:
Yeah… I’m grateful I’m not retiring from ministry. I’ll still be working with the Alliance and developing ideas, but the reality is still sobering. There’s something deeply emotional about stepping back from a role you’ve poured your life into.

[Tom]:
When I retired, I was the Chaplain of the Coast Guard. I went from meeting daily with four-star admirals to not even having access to the building where I worked for years.

💬 Ministry Sciences Insight:

Identity loss is real.
Transitions are not only logistical—they are spiritual and emotional.

🧠 Why Retirement Ceremonies Matter

[Tom]:
It’s tempting to treat a retirement as just a celebration—talk about accomplishments, hand out a plaque. But for many people, retirement is:

  • A loss of identity

  • A time of grief

  • A moment filled with questions, like:

    • What now?

    • Am I still valuable?

    • Who am I without my title?

So we need to lead honest ceremonies that bless both what was and what is to come.

[Henry]:
Exactly. As men, especially, we tend to wrap our identity in what we do. But retirement also touches on something deeper: our mortality. We’ve seen enough people pass away to know—we’re not invincible. So this is also a soul moment.

🙏 Chaplain Role: Spiritual Guide at Thresholds

[Tom]:
That’s why chaplains are so important during transitions. In the military, we offer a week-long transition class that includes financial preparation, paperwork, and emotional readiness. But most workplaces don’t offer that. You retire, get a gold watch… and then go home alone.

Many people experience post-retirement depression, and chaplains can walk them through that valley.

🛠 What Chaplains Can Do Practically

[Henry]:
Let’s get super practical here. As a chaplain, you can say:

“Hey George, would you like to sit down for an hour? Let’s talk through some common transition pitfalls. Let’s pray and bless your plan. Let’s dream a little about what’s next.”

That invitation is huge because people feel disoriented after their farewell cake is eaten and they turn in their access badge.

🔍 The Ceremony: Key Elements

[Tom]:
Whenever I was asked to lead a retirement ceremony, I’d try to meet with the retiree first. I wanted to ask:

  • What do you want said?

  • Who do you want acknowledged?

  • What do you want prayed over?

  • Is there anything happening in your family that I should be aware of or avoid mentioning?

Because it’s not just about them. Their spouse is also retiring from the rhythm. Their kids are affected too.

💡 Tip: Minister After the Ceremony

[Tom]:
After the ceremony, follow up.
One year later, give them a call:

“I was thinking about your retirement. How’s this next chapter going?”

People remember that kind of care. It keeps the pastoral relationship alive.

📖 Biblical Insight:

In Scripture, transitions are always spiritually significant:

  • Moses passing the baton to Joshua

  • Paul commissioning Timothy

  • Jesus blessing the disciples before His ascension

They didn’t just end—they blessed the next stage.
That’s what chaplains do.

🧭 Ministry Sciences Insight:

Chaplains bless the open spaces
—the uncertain in-betweens where identity shifts, grief lingers, and hope takes root.

✍️ Summary Tips for Chaplaincy in Retirements and Transitions

  • Don’t assume everyone is happy—grief may be just under the surface.

  • Invite real conversation before the ceremony.

  • Honor the whole family in your prayers.

  • Name the contributions while giving space for unresolved disappointments.

  • Bless the identity, not just the title.

  • Follow up later—you’re not just a speaker, you’re a shepherd.

🙌 Final Reflection

[Henry]:
This session reminds me again—chaplaincy is rich, personal, and deeply powerful.
Every transition is a ministry moment.

[Tom]:
Exactly.

“There’s always an occasion for celebration—but there’s also always an occasion for ministry.”


[Henry]:
In our last session, we discussed baptisms and house blessings. Today, we’re continuing with practical ceremonies that chaplains lead—specifically commissionings, retirements, and send-offs. These transitions are sacred, even if they can feel awkward or emotionally complex.

[Tom]:
Absolutely. Transitions can be filled with celebration, but also regret or grief. As chaplains, our job is to see what others overlook. These are not just events—they’re spiritual crossings. And each one is an opportunity to name what’s happening, bless the moment, and guide people forward.

🧠 Why Transitions Matter:

Transitions are thresholds—spiritually open spaces where people ask:

  • “Who am I now?”

  • “What’s next?”

  • “What’s behind me?”

Chaplains create sacred space with presence, Scripture, blessing, and prayer.

💬 Chaplain Insight:

[Tom]:
When I retired as Chaplain of the Coast Guard, I went from meeting daily with 4-star admirals… to not even having building access. That hits you.
And for many people, these transitions shake their identity. Especially for men, we define ourselves by our roles.

[Henry]:
I turn 64 this week, and Lord willing, I’ll retire as president next year. Hearing you share—I feel it. There are so many emotions… even knowing I’ll continue with CLI and CLA. It’s still letting go.

🙏 The Role of the Chaplain:

Chaplains see what’s under the surface at retirement ceremonies:

  • Spouses with conflicting emotions

  • Leaders wrestling with identity

  • Lingering regret or unfinished dreams

  • Fear about the future

Chaplains speak blessing into all of this. They stand at the bridge and say, “God is still here. Let’s name that.”

🧭 Commissioning Ceremonies: Sent with Purpose

[Henry]:
Let’s talk about commissioning. Someone begins a new ministry, job, or leadership role.
Should chaplains lay on hands, even outside church settings?

[Tom]:
It depends on the person and the setting. I’ve had high-ranking military leaders request private, spiritual commissioning—often a family ceremony with Scripture, a blessing, and the laying on of hands—before their formal change-of-command ceremony.
That spiritual moment matters, even if the public event isn’t overtly religious.

🛠 Ceremony Elements for Commissioning:

  • Welcome and Scripture

  • Personal reflection or testimony

  • Prayer of commissioning

  • (Optional) Laying on of hands

  • Blessing with boldness and clarity

✨ Ministry Sciences Insight:
Even outside traditional worship, chaplains can activate callings by blessing people into their new roles.

🎁 Symbolic Actions: Meaning Beyond Words

[Henry]:
Let’s reflect on symbolic actions—candles, gifts, pins, ring blessings. Why are these important?

[Tom]:
Symbols are powerful. Whether it’s passing a flag, exchanging a ring, or giving a meaningful token, it helps mark the moment.
Even if someone says, “I don’t need a ceremony,” their family might need it.
Their organization might need it. These rituals help everyone close a chapter well.

[Henry]:
I wear a little CLI ordination ring. It reminds me I’m part of a mission. It’s small, but meaningful.

🔑 Key Insight: Symbolic acts create lasting emotional and spiritual anchors.

🕊 Send-Offs: Blessing the Departure

[Tom]:
Whether it’s military deployments, hospice moments, or final farewells, chaplains bless departures.
Hospitals even have honor walks for organ donors. Staff, family, and responders line the halls in silence. The chaplain prays. It’s sacred.
These moments frame the loss with meaning. They bring dignity. They say: “God is still here.”

🧩 The Chaplain as Advocate

[Tom]:
Chaplains can help organizations remember what matters.
You might say to a fire chief: “Hey, this firefighter is retiring after 30 years. What are we doing to honor him?”
You become the voice of the soul. The bridge. The reminder of blessing.

🧰 Practical Ceremony Tips

  • Know the stories behind the faces.

  • Talk to the person beforehand—what do they want?

  • Include family members in prayer and acknowledgment.

  • Be sensitive to disappointment or grief.

  • Use Scripture to bless forward movement and closure.

📖 Biblical Models:

Paul to Timothy
Moses to Joshua
Elijah to Elisha
Jesus to the disciples

Every major biblical leader blessed those who followed. They didn’t just pass the baton—they prayed it into motion.

🙌 Final Charge

Henry (closing):
This session has really hit me. So much emotion… so much opportunity for chaplains. It’s not just about having credentials—it’s about showing up at life’s crossings and blessing the path forward.

Tom:
Amen.

“Watch for crossings. Name them. Bless them. Stay present, stay prayerful, stand at the bridge, and bless the way forward.”

Last modified: Thursday, May 29, 2025, 10:23 AM