Video Transcript: Annie Lobert - iamsecond.com
A little girl lost. Thought no one loved her, thought no one wanted her. Ran away from her castle she was embraced by the devil and his false love. And through that embracing, became a different person, became the harlot, became the queen of lies, the Jezebel. That's my life. Growing up. I just remember my dad just raging. I'd come home and my dad would be really angry, stressed out, and I really took it personal. And I think that I thought to myself that I must be unlovable. High School. Noticed that the boys were paying attention to me, and since I wasn't getting any attention from my dad, I gravitated toward any compliment, any pass that was made at me. I met this boy in school that stole my heart. He told me, If I slept with him, we'd get married, we'd make a life together, we'd have babies. And I completely took my entire heart and gave it to this boy, and when I found out that he was sleeping with several of my best girlfriends, it was such a shock to me. Left high school heartbroken, moved out of my parents' home the day after I graduated, I remember waving at my mom, when I was 18, and my dad and in the back of the car knowing I'd never come back because I was done, I got out into the beautiful city of Minneapolis, tried to find a way to go to college, but I had to work three jobs to have my own place and buy a car. And I found, like a new thing inside of me, that if I had nice clothes, if I went out to the clubs, I could meet different men that liked me, and maybe I could meet a rich guy that would sweep me off my feet and take care of me like a like a prince would. And so my girlfriend and I started going out to the nightclubs. And we had a fake ID, and one night we walked in, these men walked up to us at the bar and bought us drinks, Rolex watches, designer clothes. I looked at my girlfriend. These guys have money. My girlfriend starts to like one of the men. I told my girlfriend, get that guy's money. And I think what this really was building inside me was this Vendetta, this deep seated, rooted unforgiveness towards my dad, towards that boy in school, and I just wanted revenge. I was going to prove that I could make it in my life, and money was going to be the answer. My girlfriend takes off with this guy, goes to Hawaii. I'm working my three jobs. She calls me up and says, Listen, I am on the beach. I'm in a drop top Corvette, and I'm on my cell phone, and you need to come out here. And even though I didn't have the guts to ask her, you know what? What are you doing? I just kind of went with it. It was like an automatic walking into a dark doorway that I knew something wasn't right, but the lure of the possibility of having nice things and finally having money that I never had growing up, finally being someone important, overrode all those feelings of any caution, and it blew it to the wind. And I went to Hawaii that very week, took a vacation from my jobs, and the first night that I was on Waikiki Beach, I actually sold myself with my girlfriend to some Japanese clients, and I became a prostitute. It's kind of. Like I had this ring that I put on and I couldn't take it off. No longer could $3.47 an hour cut it once I found out that I could make hundreds, if not 1000s, of dollars selling myself $500 an hour with no attachment, no relationship, $1,000 an hour. Now it
was $2,000 an hour. It gave me this immense power. And if you wanted me for the night, that was $10,000 a few months later, I started dancing, and one day I was on the stage, and this man walks in, puts this couple $100 fan of money at
my feet, and I danced just for him, and I let him know that I was actually prostituting my body. I was actually selling myself to make extra ends meet. He looked at me and said, You are so intelligent. I really like you. In fact, I think I'm falling in love with you. He gave me everything that I needed to hear from my dad, and I decided that I wanted to move to Las Vegas. I got off the plane, and that night, I went on a couple calls. I brought home a nice wad of money. My boyfriend was there, and he told me to break myself. What did you say to me? He said, break yourself, and that means give me all your money, dump your purse out on my lap. And I wasn't having it, and he proceeded to take me out by my hair. He choked me. He threw me on the porch, on my knees, and he started kicking me. This is pimpin B. I'm just choking on my own blood. You're gonna work for me, punching me in my face. Time it is, but what time it is now is you're gonna pain me. My nose broke. My ribs broke. Was like I was looking at the devil the prince. Turned dark, and if you try to leave, I'll kill you that night. It's like I died inside. And the next five years of my life, I was with a pimp. Every time he hit me and choked me and raped me or put guns to my head. Made me do things I never wanted to do. I just did it because I loved him and because out of fear, because I knew if I didn't that I would not live to see another day. And even though I got away from him, everything you give, you leave the money, the cars, the houses all behind, because when you leave a pimp, you leave with nothing. I started stacking my money again, but the money wasn't the same. I came down with cancer, and a couple years later, lost all my hair. Had chemotherapy. I had Hodgkin's lymphoma. I started taking painkillers for my bone pain and my marrow, and I got addicted to painkillers, and that led into cocaine. I was going on calls bald with wigs because I had lost all my hair from chemotherapy, and I had clients calling me a cancer, a cancer b, cancer, bitch. I'll just say it. I'm staying in these seedy motels, and I remember laying there in my bed looking in the mirror at myself, thinking that God was angry with me, I would get in the shower and I would scrub my body, and I would think I'll never, ever be clean. I started freebasing cocaine, and one night, I just decided that I was just gonna get higher than I could than I've ever been before, because I just wanted to erase all the pain, the pain of the cancer, the pain of my uncle, my sister and my grandpa dying within three months of each other, the pain of losing all those years with my family up in the Midwest, the pain of losing all my friends, losing my cars, losing everything I had Ever Made. I took the hit of that Coke, and I fell back. I went completely blind. It's like the whole room. The light that was on in that room turned dark, and I remember laying there, and I felt like this demonic presence just come over me that I was completely alone, and I got really, really scared, and I just instinctively knew I knew that I was at death's door. I was in
this dark, dark cave, and I knew I knew it was over. I. And I saw my family, I saw my funeral, and I was in the coffin, and everybody was crying, and they were wiping their faces, and they were saying she was just a prostitute. That's when I said, Jesus, please save me. I don't know if you're real, but I don't want to die. The ambulance came, and the doctor came up to me, and he grabbed my hand, and he said, You are lucky to be alive. You have so much drugs in your system, little lady, you should be dead. God must be with you. And I knew that Jesus heard my prayer, and I laid there, and I had this peace come over me that was nothing I had ever felt in my entire life, and I knew God gave me a second chance. I got better, and I started reading my Bible. I recovered and was afraid to go to church. Come on an ex prostitute. Do I think if I walk in church, people are gonna look at me and really love me? But I walked in that church and people embraced me, and God just really started doing that inner healing, and the Holy Spirit was just like speaking to me, telling me that I was beautiful and that I was chosen and that I was set apart, that I was sanctified and I was a holy vessel for him. I started to stand on Jesus' words that I'm whole, that I'm healed, that I'm pure, that I'm a virgin in him, and that gives me peace. I remember I was vacuuming my house one day, and the Lord said to me, he said, Annie, I want you to go back down to that strip. I want you to tell the girls that are in slavery that I love them. And so that's what I'm called to do, to simply tell them God loves you no matter where you've been, no matter what you've done, no matter how deep, how dirty, you feel that there's redemption. You are white as snow, and accept Him into your heart. Little girl lost thought no one loved her. Thought no one wanted her. Ran away from her castle, but God met her on that dark road. He said, you can come home now I'm right here, and I never left you. Redemption, redeemed, set free. That's my life as love.