🏫 Who You Represent: Trust, Support, and Service in Public School Chaplaincy

🎙️Henry:
So we're back, and today we're going to talk about who you represent—trust, support, and service—in public school chaplaincy. Let's begin with a quick review of the three core acres of school chaplaincy:

1. Public Trust – Be above reproach, consistent, and honorable.
2. Spiritual Support – Serve all backgrounds without pressure.
3. Service – Live out a Christlike presence. The Son of Man came to serve, not to be served.

You may be the only spiritual leader someone meets. Reflect on that for a moment.

🎙️Tom:
You really might be. Whether it’s an adult working at the school or a child attending, if they’re not part of a faith tradition, then their only understanding of what a spiritual leader looks like might be shaped by stereotypes—maybe from The Simpsons...

🎙️Henry:
...or from the memory of a fallen evangelist from 25 years ago.

🎙️Tom:
Yes. Unfortunately, there are too many examples of that. Or they may come from a tradition where the pastor or priest has so many parishioners that they don’t even know the names of the families—so there’s no opportunity to form a personal connection.

I remember when I went on a missions program in high school. I spent eight weeks helping at a small church in upstate New York. The most powerful part of that experience? I got to know the pastor as a person. He wasn’t just the guy in the pulpit in a suit and tie. We played basketball together. He was funny. He introduced me to C.S. Lewis, which I’d never read before. And he asked me questions that showed he cared about my thoughts.

Just getting to know him as a real human being completely changed how I viewed ministers and ministry. It opened what would’ve been a completely closed door in my heart to even consider ministry for myself.

That could be you. You might be the one spiritual encounter that shapes how someone judges spiritual leaders—forever.

⏳ Can Five Minutes Change a Lifetime?

🎙️Speaker 1:
Can five minutes actually change a lifetime?

🎙️Speaker 2:
I think five seconds can. People long to be seen, to be valued. When we give them our attention, when we really look them in the eyes, when we’re not glancing over their shoulder for the next person in line… when we listen to them respectfully, hear their stories, and don’t rush to judge or insert our own narrative—that kind of affirmation can change a person’s whole worldview.

📖 A Story from Genesis: "You See Me"

🎙️Speaker 1:
Let me bring up a story from Genesis that we've talked about in another session—but I want to bring it back because it's so powerful.

So, Pam and I have this little ritual at night. We go to bed and play a soft, ancient lullaby—it’s beautiful. It's always the same song, and it helps us settle our minds before sleep and invite the Lord in. But sometimes, when our thoughts are restless, we’ll put on a soft reading of the Bible—this voice named Emily. One of our favorites is the story of Abraham in Genesis. It’s like a 45-minute recording where she retells the story and then reads from the King James Version. It’s calm. Reflective.

I’ve heard that story of Hagar, hundreds of times now, in the middle of the night. She’s not someone who seems likely to be “seen.” She’s Egyptian. She’s not part of Abraham and Sarai’s God-story. But when all this transpires and she’s at her lowest, she says, “Thou God seest me.”

🎙️Speaker 2:
Yes. That’s such a rich example. And it’s echoed all throughout Scripture. The psalmists cry out—“Don’t you see me?” And the answer is always, Yes, I do. God sees us. Being visible—really seen—is so powerful, especially in a setting like a public school, where a kid can feel like just another face in the crowd.

🙌 Seven Action-Based Sermon Points

🎙️Speaker 1:
So let’s focus now on the characteristics of a positive encounter. This is where you preach a sermon without words—just with your presence and actions.

Here are seven points of an action-based sermon, and let’s start by combining the first two:

Respectful Curiosity

Empathetic Listening

💬 Respectful Curiosity & Empathetic Listening

🎙️Speaker 1:
Yeah, and those two points—respectful curiosity and empathetic listening—not only make the PowerPoint shorter, but they really go together well. Kids get yelled at a lot.

🎙️Speaker 2:
That’s a really good point. We can speak calmly and gently. And depending on how chaplaincy is integrated into the school, there might be moments when students are referred to the chaplain. In my experience—whether in the military or elsewhere—people don’t get sent to talk to the chaplain because they’re having a great day.

In the military, commanding officers could order members to come see me, though not necessarily to speak. And often, they’d arrive with the weight of whatever was going on—and a big chip on their shoulder.

But if you open with, “Let’s just have a conversation. Tell me what’s going on. What brings you here today?”—you invite them into something different. Ask open-ended questions, ones they can’t answer with just 'yes' or 'no', and let them guide the pace. Reflect back what you hear:

“So you were frustrated because of this or that—tell me what happened. Tell me how that made you feel…”

And then you listen to understand, not to prepare a lecture. Because they think that’s what you’re going to do. But when they see you genuinely want to listen and understand, especially as an authority figure, they’ll be surprised—and grateful.

🙏 Non-Judgmental Presence & Appropriate Boundaries

🎙️Speaker 1:
The next set of characteristics: non-judgmental presence and appropriate boundaries. These are things we’ve talked about before, but now we’re summarizing and clarifying them.

🎙️Speaker 2:
These two also raise logistical questions that will need to be worked out with the school.

• Where will you meet with students?
• Will you have an office or private space?
• Will talking to the chaplain feel like detention?
  (That would not be helpful.)

You want to create a safe and steady environment. Where you sit, how you sit—all of that matters. If you have a space, think relaxed setting. Comfortable chairs.

🎙️Speaker 1:
We’re really at the ground floor of this. It’s a frontier. A wild one, at that.

🎙️Speaker 2:
Exactly. I mentioned earlier that I see a counselor. She has a small sofa with some pillows. I can hold them or move them aside. It’s a peaceful room. That kind of environment matters.

• In elementary schools? Put up visuals that connect with younger kids.
• In high schools? Create a space teens will feel comfortable in.

When I was a military chaplain, I intentionally kept my office non-militaristic. I didn’t want them reminded they were in the chain of command.

In the Navy, your rank is on your right collar, and the cross is on the left. So sometimes I’d sit in a way where they’d see the cross first, not the rank. That subtle posture invites openness, not intimidation.

If you're “Petty Officer Schmuckatelli” and you're sitting with Commander Walcott, that can be intimidating. But if you’re “Joe” talking to Chaplain Walcott, that’s totally different.

Create space where they know:

This is not just another adult who’s going to scold me.

🎙️Speaker 1:
That’s powerful. 🙌 That speaks to spirit-led discernment and a gentle invitation.

🎙️Speaker 2:
Yes. That’s where prayer comes in again:

“Lord, guide me. Give me the words to say.”

I love the image of open hands—both literally and figuratively. A posture of openness, acceptance. You will never get anywhere trying to force a child to talk when they don’t want to.

So you approach them gently, and with care. It matters.

🔁 Follow-Through and Consistency

🎙️Speaker 1:
Another essential characteristic: follow-through and consistency.

Earlier you mentioned saying, “I’ll check in.” That means you do check in. You do what you say. And that builds trust.

🎙️Speaker 2:
Yes. Consistency builds trust—and trust unlocks hearts.

But also: this includes time management. You have to know what you can and can’t do.

Say you’re at a public school with 500 kids. You have to be realistic. If you say to someone, “I’ll check in on you,” and you don’t—you’ve betrayed their trust.

And that might be your only chance. Because that student might already have a long list of adults who’ve let them down. You do not want to be added to that list.

⏳ The Power of a Moment

🎙️Speaker 1:
You know, in a lot of ways, we’ve touched on this in previous presentations—and again here—the concept of a moment.

That idea that you don’t need to preach with a bunch of words. Honestly, when I first heard about chaplaincy—I’ll be transparent—I thought to myself, “So what is this? You just stand around all day?”

🎙️Speaker 2:
Some days… yeah, I get that. 😄

But truly—the power of a moment. As I get older, I’ve come to see that the real battles aren’t always fought with words. They’re fought just by being there.

🎙️Speaker 1:
That reminds me. We had a Bring Your Child to Work Day when our oldest son was in elementary school. He came with me to the base. We did a few things together—it was a nice day.

During the day, I had a low-key counseling session—not something deeply personal, just administrative. I asked the person if he was okay with my son sitting in. He said sure.

Later that night, my wife asked our son, “So, how was it?” And he said:

“All Dad does is sit there and say, ‘Tell me more… Tell me more.’”
“And then he writes it down, and he says, ‘How did that make you feel?’”

Honestly… he wasn’t wrong. 😅 That’s what we do. We sit, we listen, and we try to understand people.

🤐 Discretion Is Key

🎙️Speaker 2:
And one more piece on that “I’ll check in with you” thing…

Let’s say you’ve had a conversation with a teacher or student. You should not then shout across the room at the next faculty meeting:

“Hey! How are you doing with that thing we talked about?”

That’s not good.

🎙️Speaker 1:
Exactly. You need to be discreet.

In the military, I had conversations with sailors—some I got to know really well over time. And they’d pass me in the ship’s passageway—the P-way—and pretend they didn’t know me.

Not because they didn’t appreciate our talks, but because they didn’t want others to know. That confidentiality mattered.

Now, that might not happen as much with kids, but the same principle applies:
Let them have their discretion.

🎙️Speaker 2:
When you check in, do it quietly. Pull them aside when appropriate:

“How’s it going? Want to talk more sometime?”

Never do anything that might embarrass them. Because honestly, from childhood memories—being embarrassed in front of your peers is one of the worst things that can happen.

🌟 What’s in a Moment?

🎙️Speaker 1:
That really brings us to a great conclusion to this segment.

What’s in a moment?

• A moment could be a lifetime.
• A moment could be the difference between good grades and failing.
• A moment could save a life.

🎙️Speaker 2:
Exactly. I just read a story from a student. She had reached the point where she had everything lined up to take her life. It was that serious.

And then—out of nowhere—a Christian she barely knew walked up to her. Looked her in the eyes and said:

“You are a beautiful young woman.”

She asked, “Why would you say that?”

“Because God has made you a beautiful woman.”

That Christian spoke the word God into her life. Just that… and she wrote that it was the moment she decided not to kill herself.

Because someone noticed her.

🎙️Speaker 1:
So who knows how God may use this calling… the power of a moment.

🙌 Final Reflections

🎙️Speaker 2:
Well, until next time… but before we go—I just want to say this:

“I can tell you listen.”

Whenever we reconnect here at Christian Leaders Institute, I always feel like I can just be myself around you. And that—right there—that’s what chaplaincy is about.

🎙️Speaker 1:
Yeah. Authenticity. That’s so important.

👋 Until Next Time...

“You are the light of the world. Light doesn’t argue. It just shines.”
Be present. Be still. Be Spirit-led.
And never underestimate the power of a moment.