🧑‍🤝‍🧑 The Chaplain and the Team

Session Topic: Supporting the Full School Team – Admin, Counselors, Teachers, and Staff

🪖 Military vs. School Leadership Teams

Henry:
Today we’re going to talk about the chaplain and the team—that is, working with:

• Counselors
• Administrators
• Teachers & teacher aides
• Janitors & support staff
• Really, anyone involved in making a school run—public, private, or charter

🪖 Military Team Structure: A Comparison

Tom:
In the military:

• The Commanding Officer (CO) set the tone and made final decisions.
• The Executive Officer (XO) was the closest working contact for a chaplain, often dealing with discipline or personal care issues.
• The Senior Enlisted Advisors (e.g., Chiefs, Master Sergeants) knew everyone and kept a pulse on the unit.
• The chaplain—regardless of rank—was always part of the command team and had unique access and influence.

“We all complemented each other. We had different roles, and we respected those roles.”

Henry:
You kind of miss that, don’t you?

Tom:
Yeah, I do.
I miss stopping in with the boss, being in the loop, and contributing to the team.
Though I love retirement (and Grandpa time!), I do miss that sense of mission-driven camaraderie.

📚 Applying the Model to Schools

Henry:
Now imagine that same kind of team mindset in a school system:

• The Superintendent, like the CO, sets the tone.
• The Assistant Principals (APs) are often on the frontlines of handling discipline and logistics.
• The chaplain could become a valued member of that leadership fabric, if given the chance to serve well.

“A superintendent who experiences a great chaplain might say,
‘I never want to lead without one again.’”

🧠 Chaplain as Trusted Presence

• A well-placed chaplain becomes indispensable—not because of control, but because of support.
• In time, principals and vice principals may say:

“This chaplain is vital to our school environment.”

🛑 No Conflict with Church-State Boundaries

Tom:
This role doesn’t threaten the separation of church and state.

“You're not preaching or imposing religion.
You're showing up as a caring, supportive presence.”

Henry:
And if you do the job well, there won’t be an issue.
You’ll win people over by your humble, trustworthy presence.

🏫 Supporting the Assistant Principals

Tom:
In most schools, Assistant Principals (APs) handle the toughest situations.

• Discipline
• Behavior issues
• Parent concerns

You may become close with APs simply because they need someone to lean on too.

🤝 Chaplain’s Posture: Support, Not Control

• You are not the boss.
• You are not the administrator.
• You are not the decision-maker.

You are the support.
You are the listener.
You are the presence of grace.

🔑 Three Keys to Working with the School Team

Session Topic: Trust, Boundaries, and Accountability for School Chaplains

🧱 Key 1: Build Trust Over Time

Tom:

• Trust won’t be instant—it may take months.
• But when people see your character, consistency, and care, they’ll begin to rely on you.
• If “winning them over” is necessary, it’s done with presence, not persuasion.

🛣️ Key 2: Know Your Lane

Tom:

• Understand your job description. Know what you can and cannot do.
• Chaplaincy is not the same as pastoring—no “my way or the highway.”
• In the military, the worst insult was calling a chaplain a Lone Ranger.

“A Lone Ranger didn’t work with the team… and wasn’t trusted.”

Henry:

• You become an asset by knowing your boundaries.
• Share appropriate info with the counseling team or staff—this builds confidence and collaboration.

🤝 Key 3: Be a Team Player, Not a Competitor

Tom:

• Counselors may be unsure about chaplains at first.
• But if you inform them about important student issues (like a death in the family), they’ll realize you’re on their side.
• That builds bridges.

⚠️ The Cautionary Slide

“What Could Get You Removed”
(Don’t skip this—wisdom protects your ministry.)

🚫 1. Preaching Without Invitation

Tom:

• This is a serious line—both in the military and in schools.
• Standing up in a lunchroom or hallway and preaching unsolicited could get you removed.

“Proselytizing without clear guidelines and invitation is a quick way to lose your post.”

Henry:

• Even at baccalaureates, I had to submit scripts.
• Be clear: Arts may get a pass, but coercion never does.

🚫 2. Acting Like a Therapist

Tom:

• Chaplains are not licensed to diagnose mental or emotional conditions.
• You can observe and report (e.g., concern about eating behaviors), but don’t use labels.

“The moment you diagnose, you cross a line.”

Henry:

• Instead, partner with licensed therapists and counselors. Let them handle what’s in their lane.

🚫 3. Ignoring School Protocol

Tom:

• Military had strict protocol. So do schools.
• Whether it's a rule like "never enter a student restroom" or “sign in before walking the halls”—follow it.
• Even if you don’t agree, don’t violate it.

“Yes, you serve a higher calling—but you’re still under earthly authority.”

🚫 4. Undermining or Judging Staff

Tom:

• Undermining and judging usually go hand-in-hand.
• Saying things like, “I don’t think the counselor is doing a good job,” destroys trust.

“We often judge others to make ourselves look better. That’s not a good look for a chaplain.”

Henry:

• Have you had to remove chaplains for these things?

Tom:

• Yes. For items 1, 2, and 3—probably 5 different people during my time overseeing 100+ chaplains.

⚠️ Cautionary Slide (Part 2)

“Boundaries, Integrity, and Finishing Well”

🧾 Misconduct, Consequences, and Protecting the Ministry

Tom:

• I didn’t technically fire chaplains, but I advised on situations.
• If a chaplain couldn’t work well with leadership, they became ineffective.
• Sometimes the solution was a reassignment to preserve the ministry and give someone else a clean slate.

“Forging documents, breaking trust—those actions led to dismissal.”

🚫 5. Inappropriate Touch

Tom:

• Touch is no longer interpreted the way it once was.
• What may feel like a pastoral gesture to you could be unwelcome.
• I’ve had chaplains removed for roughhousing, hugging without consent, or even something like a playful swat.

“It’s not your intention that matters—it’s how the touch is received.”

Henry:

• I’ve seen it too. Things have changed.
• What was once normal can now be perceived as crossing a line, especially when involving minors.

Tom:

• In the Navy, chaplains are never alone in a room with someone—every door has a window.
• That principle should carry over to school chaplaincy: visible, accountable, above reproach.

🧠 5B. Emotional Dependency and Crossed Lines

Tom:

• Ministers are caregivers. Intimacy often develops through that care.
• Some students or staff may feel seen for the first time in a long time.
• Be vigilant: when care becomes emotional dependency, the line toward inappropriate entanglements can blur.

“What clergy don’t talk about is often what ends their ministry.”

Henry:

• I can think of people I went to seminary with who are no longer in ministry because of this.
• It’s real—and it’s dangerous. We must stay grounded in boundaries and humility.

🚫 6. Misrepresenting Title or Role

Tom:

• As a chaplain, you may not have structural authority in the school.
• Don’t act like an administrator, investigator, or disciplinarian.

“Saying ‘I’m the chaplain, you need to tell me what happened’ oversteps your role.”

Henry:

• You’re not there to grade, discipline, or drive kids home.
• Stay within the clear lines of your calling.

🚫 7. Breach of Confidentiality / FERPA

Henry:

• This one is serious and deserves its own session.
• For now, we’ll set it aside and come back to it in detail later.

🙌 Final Charge: Serve the Mission

“You are not the hero. You serve the heroes.”

• Ministry in the margins changes lives.
• Practice trust, humility, presence, and peripheral care.
• Be a bridge, not a barrier.