📚 Reading: The Rule of Life for the Christmas Chaplain

📖 Reading: The Rule of Life for the Christmas Chaplain

🧾 Case Study: “We Didn’t Plan to Burn Out”

Jerry and Lisa were three weeks into what had become their busiest December ever as Christmas Chaplains.

• They had led two senior center carol services, both full of emotion, memory, and tears.
• They had manned a mobile Christmas Eve prayer booth at the city market—blessing strangers, praying with the grieving, and handing out Scripture cards.
• They had spent an afternoon volunteering at the local library Christmas event, quietly supporting overwhelmed parents and offering spiritual presence to anyone who asked.
• They had helped organize a Blue Christmas vigil at the hospice, where silence, candlelight, and grief had settled like snow on every soul in the room.
• In between it all, they were visiting neighbors in their retirement community—checking in on widows, listening to stories, and praying at kitchen tables.

They were doing everything “right.”
They were present, faithful, and joyful in their calling.
They loved bringing the hope of Christ into places others might overlook.
But slowly—quietly—something began to fray.

Lisa noticed she was becoming easily irritated.
She couldn't sleep deeply, and her spirit felt thin.
Jerry, normally energized by ministry, began feeling numb after prayer visits.
They both caught themselves snapping at one another over small things.
And their once-deep devotional rhythm had eroded to rushed prayers over coffee, spoken with sincerity but lacking stillness.

Then came the moment of reckoning.

After an emotionally heavy hospital visit, where they’d sat with a family saying goodbye to a father, Jerry looked over at Lisa in the car and said:

“I don’t think we’ve prayed together this whole week.
I’m giving everyone else peace…
but I haven’t sat in it myself.”

That evening, they chose to stop.
They turned off their phones.
They sat in silence together.
Lisa lit three candles. Jerry opened his Bible to Psalm 23.
They read it aloud—slowly, weeping through the familiar words:

“He restores my soul…”

They took communion at their dining room table.
They repented—of busyness, of burnout, of trying to pour from an empty cup.
And they made a decision:

“Next year, we need a rhythm.
A spiritual rule. A structure of rest.”

🕊️ The Rule of Life They Created

Out of that sacred pause, Jerry and Lisa developed their own Rule of Life for December—a spiritual rhythm to protect their soul, their marriage, and their ministry.

Every year since, they have followed this seasonal framework:

• 🕯️ Morning Stillness – 15 minutes of quiet together before anything else
• 📖 Scripture Before Service – no ministry without first reading and praying Scripture
• 🛑 Weekly Sabbath – one day or evening where they do nothing for anyone but rest in Christ
• 🙅 Saying No With Peace – they refuse 1–2 good invitations every year to protect margin
• 🌙 Nightly Blessing – they end each evening with candlelight, prayer, and the words:

“The Light still shines. And God is still with us.”

💡 What They Learned

Jerry and Lisa learned what every seasoned chaplain eventually must:

• Sustained ministry flows from rooted presence.
• You can’t serve the world if your soul is starving.
• You can’t bring peace to others if you’ve made no room for it in yourself.
• You can’t whisper hope if you’ve never heard it spoken to you.

Ministry that lasts is ministry that is nourished.

They still serve fully.
They still show up often.
But now, they show up from a place of being filled—not frantically poured out.

They still hear the same praise:

“Thank you for bringing such peace.”
But now, they can honestly say:

“It’s not mine. It’s His. And I made space to receive it.”

🔍 What Is a Rule of Life?

A Rule of Life is not a list of legalistic expectations or rigid spiritual “to-do” lists. Rather, it is a grace-filled, intentional framework that helps you stay rooted in God while actively serving others.

It is not meant to restrict your freedom, but to preserve your fruitfulness.

🌿 A Trellis for the Soul

The word “rule” comes from the Latin regula, which means trellis—the wooden or wire framework that supports a growing vine. A trellis doesn’t produce the fruit. It simply holds up the vine so that:

• It doesn’t collapse under its own weight
• It receives light and airflow
• It grows in the right direction
• Its fruit is accessible and sustainable

In the same way, a Rule of Life provides structure, support, and space for the living presence of Christ to grow in and through you.

Without a rule, your soul may sprawl aimlessly—or collapse entirely.
With a rule, your soul can stretch toward others without breaking.

✝️ Not Legalism—Liberation

This kind of spiritual framework is not about performance. It’s about protection.

• It doesn’t demand that you be perfect
• It invites you to be present, prayerful, and paced
• It helps you minister from overflow—not overwork

Many great saints and leaders throughout Christian history have adopted personal or communal Rules of Life to help guide their daily habits, spiritual disciplines, relationships, and ministry rhythms.

The goal is not to do more for God—but to remain with God while you serve others.

🎄 Especially During Christmas

The Christmas season is filled with beauty—but also burden.

Chaplains are often called into emotionally intense, logistically chaotic, and spiritually significant moments:

• Candlelight services
• Hospice visits
• Public vigils
• Grief counseling
• Outreach events
• Blue Christmas ceremonies
• Spontaneous prayer moments in malls or markets

And amidst all this, your own heart might be:

• Tired
• Grieving
• Overwhelmed
• Distracted
• Running on fumes

That’s why a Rule of Life is essential during Advent and Christmas.

It becomes your spiritual trellis—holding you up when the fruit of ministry is heavy.

It reminds you that you are a branch, not the vine.

• You don’t produce peace. You carry it.
• You don’t force joy. You receive it.
• You don’t save anyone. You point them to the One who does.

🕊️ Final Thought

A Rule of Life is a gift you give your soul.

It’s not just for monks in monasteries.
It’s for ministers in markets.
It’s for chaplains in retirement homes, hospital rooms, and candlelit circles.
It’s for anyone who wants to serve faithfully without losing their spiritual footing.

If Jesus needed rhythms of retreat, prayer, and reflection—so do we.
If your soul matters to God—it should matter to you.

And if you want your ministry to last beyond December 25th,
let your roots run deep beneath every moment of giving.

The Rule of Life holds you, so you can hold others.

✝️ Why Christmas Chaplains Need a Rule of Life

The Christmas season is filled with sacred beauty—but also subtle danger for those in ministry.

It is a time of contrasts and tensions:

• A time of beauty—and the risk of burnout
• A season of joy—but also one that sharpens grief
• A call to serve generously—and a temptation to overextend sacrificially
• A celebration of Christ’s coming—but a very real risk of missing His presence in your own life

As a Christmas Chaplain, you step into some of the most tender spaces of the season:

• You sing hope in the memory care unit
• You offer prayer in the checkout line
• You light candles at a vigil for the grieving
• You lead Scripture services for those who feel forgotten

These moments are holy—but they’re also draining. If you are not spiritually grounded, ministry can shift from worship to performance, and from overflow to exhaustion.

😓 What Happens Without Rhythm

Even the most faithful, passionate chaplains can find themselves slipping when they don’t have a Rule of Life. The symptoms are subtle at first, but they grow:

• Emotionally drained – easily irritable, numb, or weepy after visits
• Spiritually dry – unable to sense God’s nearness while leading others
• Physically depleted – running on caffeine, adrenaline, or sheer willpower
• Relationally distant – disconnected from spouse, friends, or your own children
• Ministering from memory – quoting Scripture and praying words you no longer feel

You may still “look” effective—but you’ve become disembodied from the joy of ministry.

You’re pouring out, but nothing is being poured back in.

A Rule of Life helps you stop the leak before the soul collapses.

🧬 Ministry Sciences Insight: Rhythm Prevents Rupture

From a Ministry Sciences perspective, the soul thrives on rhythm. Just as the body needs rest cycles and breathing patterns, the spiritual life needs anchored repetition—moments where:

• Emotion is processed
• The nervous system resets
• The Spirit is re-engaged
• God’s presence is re-centered

In trauma-informed ministry, we learn that constant output without recovery leads to spiritual fragmentation. Chaplains may dissociate from their own needs, mistake adrenaline for anointing, and begin to confuse productivity with presence.

Intentional rhythms reverse this drift.

By embedding predictable pauses, devotional anchors, and spaces of silence into your weekly rhythm, you:

• Reconnect your outer ministry to your inner life
• Let God minister to you before you minister to others
• Re-center your identity in being a beloved child—not in doing spiritual work

🕯️ A Rule of Life Is Not About Doing More

It’s about doing what matters.
It’s about protecting the vine, not adding branches.

A Rule of Life is how you say to your soul:
“God is with me, too. And I will not abandon His presence, even in service to His people.”

It’s how you embody the peace you’re preaching.
It’s how you practice the presence you proclaim.
It’s how you finish the season still full of Christ—not emptied by Christmas.

🛠️ Components of a Chaplain’s Rule of Life

Below are several suggested rhythms you may include in your personal or couple-based Rule of Life. Each chaplain’s rhythm will look different based on lifestyle, health, ministry load, and calling.

1. Morning Stillness (Daily)

Before checking your calendar or replying to texts, spend 5–15 minutes in silence with God.

• Light a candle
• Breathe deeply
• Read one Advent verse
• Pray: “Jesus, I welcome You again today”
• Sit without rush

You begin with God—not with your to-do list.

2. Scripture Before Service (Daily or Weekly)

Let the Word shape your heart before you share it with others. Choose a few Scriptures to return to all season long:

• Isaiah 9:2–6
• Luke 1:46–55 (Mary’s song)
• Luke 2:1–20
• John 1:1–5, 14
• Philippians 2:5–11

Ministry isn’t your identity. Christ is.

3. Sabbath Rhythm (Weekly or Biweekly)

Choose one day—or one evening—each week when you do no ministry, answer no calls, and serve no one.

• Take a nap
• Watch Christmas lights
• Laugh with family
• Read a novel
• Listen to worship music by candlelight

Sabbath is resistance against spiritual exhaustion. It’s the gift of stopping.

4. Prayer of Relinquishment (As Needed)

Say no when necessary. Let go of expectations. Surrender what’s not yours to carry.

A simple prayer:

“Jesus, this invitation is good—but it’s not mine. I trust that You will send someone else. I release this opportunity, and I remain at peace.”

You’re not the Light of the World. You carry it—but you are not it.

5. Closing the Day (Nightly)

Before bed, take 3–5 minutes to settle your soul.

• Light a small candle or sit by the tree
• Pray with a spouse or silently reflect
• Whisper a Scripture of peace
• Offer thanks for one name, one moment, one miracle

Jerry and Lisa close each night by saying to each other:

“The light still shines, and God is still with us.”

🧬 Ministry Sciences Integration: The Rule of Life and the Seven Connections

At Christian Leaders Institute, we teach a holistic and Spirit-led model of soul and leadership development through Ministry Sciences. One of the central tools in that approach is the Seven Connections, which emphasize aligning every part of life with God's presence and purpose. These connections—to God, yourself, others, your calling, your resources, your community, and your world—work much like a Rule of Life.

In fact, the Rule of Life can be thought of as the daily or seasonal structure that gives those seven connections a practical, lived rhythm—especially during high-stress times like the Christmas season.

Here’s how a Rule of Life aligns with key insights from Ministry Sciences and supports the Seven Connections:

1. Spiritual Formation Requires Structure and Surrender

You don’t drift into transformation. You walk into it with intention.

• A Rule of Life helps you schedule sacred space—like stillness, prayer, Scripture, and Sabbath.
• These spiritual habits help you stay connected to God—the first and foundational connection.
• But it’s not just structure. It’s also surrender.
  The goal is not control but yielding space to the Spirit so you are shaped, not just scheduled.

Without that structure, the noise of December often drowns out the still, small voice of God.

2. Emotional Intelligence Begins with Self-Awareness and Renewal

You cannot serve people well if you are emotionally overwhelmed, reactive, or numbing out.

• A Rule of Life builds in time for self-reflection, emotional regulation, and mental rest.
• This is essential for staying connected to yourself, another core of the Seven Connections.
• The chaplain who listens to others must first listen to their own soul.

If you’re irritable, exhausted, or apathetic and don’t know why—a Rule of Life gives you a way to pause, process, and return to emotional clarity.

3. Trauma-Informed Presence Includes Caring for Your Own Nervous System

So much of chaplaincy involves sitting with people in trauma, grief, confusion, and loss.

• That’s holy work—but it’s also physiologically demanding.
• Your nervous system, brain chemistry, and emotional capacity are all impacted.
• You cannot offer calm presence if your own internal world is flooded.

A Rule of Life helps chaplains stay trauma-informed by building in:

• Regulated breathing
• Rhythms of rest
• Emotional debriefing
• Non-ministry time
• Safe spaces for your own healing

This is how you stay connected to your body and your boundaries—so you don’t silently collapse while others are being helped.

4. Incarnational Ministry Must Begin With Incarnation in Your Own Heart

You represent the love and presence of Jesus. But if you have not been with Him—how can you represent Him?

• Incarnational ministry isn’t just about going into the world.
• It’s about becoming Christ’s presence—gentle, surrendered, rooted.
• The Rule of Life gives your soul room to experience the ongoing incarnation of Christ in you.

It keeps your ministry from being performative and makes it personal—Spirit-filled, not scripted.

🔑 Ministry Sciences Bottom Line

You cannot walk into heavy rooms with peace if your soul is frayed.
You cannot whisper hope to others if you’ve not heard it for yourself.

• Soul care is not selfish. It’s strategic.
• It protects your ability to lead, love, and listen.
• It transforms you into someone who doesn’t just talk about God—but embodies Him.

A Rule of Life is the operating system of sustainable chaplaincy.
It’s how you stay connected to God, self, and others when the demands are high and the month is long.

It is your living response to the truth that:

“The Word became flesh and dwelt among us…” —John 1:14

✝️ Final Reflection for Chaplains

Jesus had a rhythm.

He withdrew. He rested. He prayed. He said no to good things.
He disappeared to be with the Father—even when crowds needed Him.

If the Son of God required rhythm, how much more do we?

As a Christmas Chaplain, your presence may be the only spiritual encouragement someone experiences this season. You are the portable sanctuary.

But you can’t give what you don’t have.

Create your Rule of Life—not as a burden, but as a blessing.
Let it hold you as you hold others.
Let it root you so you can rise.
Let it keep Christ at the center of all your giving.

Because this is the heart of chaplaincy:

Not giving more.
But giving what flows from being fully present with Jesus.