Abby - We continue in this course, and we're now on a very important topic,  holiday mental health, suicide prevention and just furthering that presence  based ministry that we've been talking about in this class. So we've talked a lot  about how even grief is amplified, but in the same token, anxiety, depression,  we've talked a little bit more about grief and isolation, but again, kind of  refocusing on that, that there is five forces that are really pushing this. You've  got expectations of the holidays. You've got memories, whether they be happy  or painful, but they're they're playing a huge role. You've got financial stress, and then again, that grief and isolation we've talked about,  

Henry - and we must recognize and respond to hidden emotional burdens, but  know that they're in these forces and categories. That is very helpful for your  training to know that that, and I've seen that as a minister now for decades, that  at Christmas time, here it is. It's expectations, memories, financial stress, grief or isolation. You know, almost every problem is gonna come out in  

Abby - that area well. And I think it just it tests people in so many areas in that  sense. And even, I'll add, I think it's even a physically exhausting season. If you  have little kids, or this commitment that commitment. So there's other I just think  it's it challenges you in the whole it is in a spiritual time of the year, whether  people want to acknowledge it or not. It is, it is an emotional time of the year. It  is physically a lot, and it's financially a lot. So I think it really involves every area  of people's lives.  

Henry - So let's look first at some of these mental health factors.  

Abby - Yeah, there is definitely seasonal affective disorder That definitely  happens for people with Unreal the unrealistic expectations or financial burden  conflict in families is amplified as well during this time period, loneliness, shame, you've got substance relapse,  

Henry - not drinking all suddenly start  

Abby - holidays between Christmas and New Year's even is a big one on that.  And again, people might be smiling in public, but but we know there is so much  that is going on and struggling in private.  

Henry - Yes, and the Ministry of sciences, Insight is holistic. Ministry addresses  emotional, relational and spiritual dimension, recognizing environments that  triggers helps tailor 

Abby - care, yeah, understanding the suicide risk. You know, suicide is very  complex. There is a lot going on in isolation, hopelessness, mental health. And  chaplains are a spiritual first responder, although, again, not clinical. They are a  first responder to people that are going through this. And these responses can  really make a difference when people are in despair and survival and so again, I  think it's really important to be as a chaplain in time period. Maybe there is a  group that can be made for those that are struggling or been affected by suicide. You know, we have had  

Henry - stories Abby that gets them into CLI, where someone is contemplating  suicide and all of a sudden, out of thin air, someone walks into their life a  chaplain, and now all of a sudden, that's the difference, and they write about  that,  

Abby - yeah, I think just again, just stressing that we cannot underestimate the  risk, but also we cannot underestimate God's power. When we say yes and we  step forward and we be a compassionate presence that is interrupting these  isolation cycles. And you know, crisis awareness is a vital skill, and your  chaplaincy training  

Henry - that interrupting isolation cycles is really a good hook, yeah? Like, in a  sense, you're interrupting despair, yeah,  

Abby - recognizing the warning signs is really important. You know, statements  of hopelessness or feeling burdensome, final goodbyes, if you notice somebody  who's withdrawing, if you notice those mood shifts, or you notice some giving  away possession. You know, take every sign very seriously. It's critical as a  chaplain that you're not minimizing something or delaying or, you know,  assuming, oh, I think I know what's going on there. I think that's really important, that assumptions need to be I'm  

Henry - just gonna leave them alone, because I think they're gonna figure it out. And, you know, I've had  

Abby - this experience with this person, or, you know, even being transparent,  maybe you don't really like the person that's going through this. We all have our  feelings towards the people in our life. Maybe you really struggle to get along  with a person who's going it's so important, though, that you don't give yourself  any excuse to not you know, go, okay. Early detection is going on here, and we  need to have timely intervention. And referral for this person again, if and that  trust building creates the likelihood of disclosure. So you know, again, just early  on, reaching somebody in this spot is is really critical, 

Henry - listening without judgment, avoid connecting or minimizing feeling, or  correcting or minimizing feelings. Respond with empathy and validation. Let the  Holy Spirit guide tone and words. And some of our other classes, we talk a lot  about empathetic listening and to really have that ability to just listen and hear  what's actually being said, see the body language of what's being said and keep it without judgment. You know, that's one of the things like so quick. I know that  talking to people can do that as quickly give an answer, or, you know, you  should, instead of just listening to what is actually  

Abby - being and the tendency to think, what am I going to say back versus just soaking in, right, soaking in what someone's saying. And you know, again, I  think, as a chaplain, it's like, like I said, we have our human nature. And so  there's people that we might even struggle to get along with, but we need to  keep seeing them as God's beautiful creation that we are called to show them  the love of God. And so when you come to listen, yeah, again, you might think,  well, I know what this person needs to do to fix their situation seems pretty  obvious. But again, as a chaplain, you're not coming in to do that. You're not  minimizing feelings. You're not trying to respond with correction and this and that 

Henry - so powerful.  

Abby - Referring to professional help, I think you know you can be staying  present and taking these things very seriously, but you want to also follow the  protocol for crisis situations. Do not promise confidentiality if life is at risk,  

Henry - yes, and the ethical responsibility includes connecting people to  qualified care. Now in qualified care, if this is done in Africa, qualified care is  different than qualified care definitions in a western nation like Europe, UK or  America, and to find out what your local reporting guidelines are all about, and  to know that and partner, and one thing ministers do is we like to partner with  the community of care providers and get to know the Christian ones that you  

Abby - absolutely so getting that is kind of like building your toolkit. We talked  about this in the church service, but building your toolkit of, okay, who are the  people, if this person's going through this, here's a trusted person to connect  

them to my community. And as you said, that's going to look different based on  what country and nation you're living in, but making sure that that's a way to  prepare yourself, where you know, how am I going to refer someone to qualified  care? And this presence based ministry again, be that bridge between that  despair and hope and staying through silence and discomfort, communicating  their value, their worth, the divine nearness of Christ, 

Henry - in a lot of ways, this is reminders.  

Abby - Yeah, Scripture is that gentle lifeline again. You know, one of the things  that, when we were doing that I was doing the class with Tom, is like, you know,  just asking people, Hey, is it okay if I pray with you? Hey, is it okay if I read the  Scripture? And most people are going to say, yes, they do want that. So let the  word settle into their hearts and speak it, and let the Holy Spirit then use that  and apply that in the person's life.  

Henry - Lot of times they might even give a verse. I've seen that where it's like,  may I read Psalm 147, or Psalm? Oh, no, will you read Psalm 23 fine, you know, so you open up your Bible, get to Psalm 23 and just read it gently. It's powerful,  

Abby - yeah, practical chaplaincy in crisis moments again, like you're not trying  to be the one, and that's why we talk about that referring piece. But again, you  need to stay present, and you need to listen, ask directly if there is suicide risk,  so that can be identified, and then they can get connected with appropriate care, avoid promises you can't keep. I think that's something, again, encouraging that  professional help as a chaplain, and having this open heart, this care is you can  again, really take on everybody's burdens, but you know, there's only so much  you can do as one chaplain, so making sure that you are encouraging the  connection that they need, then with potentially professional help and pray with  them and sincerely, you know, encourage them with discernment And God's  word,  

Henry - you know, and I think too, when I was a young minister, I had a harder  time asking about suicide risk.  

Abby - You didn't want to even, like, maybe offend someone that it's like, oh,  this is coming across.  

Henry - What are you talking about? Yeah, and, but there are ways to do that.  And you know, if someone is depressed, you say, you know, sometimes people  are so depressed that they consider ending it. George, where do you want?  Where are you on in that continuum? Are you okay? I mean, again, you know,  I'm fine. Thanks for asking. I feel so complimentary.  

Abby - Say in a way that is, yeah, very respectful. Then they're going to  respond with, no, I'm really glad you checked that. I'm not feeling that way, but  like, I'm really glad you checked that versus going, Are you? Are you suicidal? 

Are you thinking about ending your life? You know, it's like making people again  feel judgment rather than being checked on.  

Henry - So remember again, you are not the savior. And we have said this  again and again, and we'll probably continue to say this, because so many times in ministry, you know, we feel like we have to do something right? No, we have  to be someone.  

Abby - You have to be Christ's light shining into people's lives. Through faithful  chaplaincy, your presence can really, again, help and create that open space for  someone to be able to say, I am considering taking my life and getting them  connected with the right people. But again, you're not the savior, and you're  trying to point them to God and their value and their worth in him.  

Henry - You know, going back to that sharing, that gentle, you know, George, a  lot of people feel really depressed and even consider, you know, taking their  own life after what you've gone through. Are you okay? Now they may, oh, I'm  okay, but you just learn something if, if they're sort of look away and they look  like they're avoiding the truth of telling it to you, you know that still gives you a  little bit of a community, a nonverbal communication that maybe, I think he does  protest too much. Maybe he is, maybe he needs even more care and concern.  You know, again, all of this, you know, in ministry, you learn these tools, you  learn some of this, and the Holy Spirit will also give you an indication. You know, you I think that he is really considering suicide. I think that I want to talk to his  daughter Exactly.  

Abby - Maybe that goes well now I need to talk to the people close in his life. Or maybe, you know, maybe George has a close relationship with X, Y or Z. Well,  maybe that person, then needs to be the one to go talk to them right now and  and be that next person of presence and space. And I think again, as a chaplain, we have the opportunity to connect people. You know, maybe I'm serving as,  you know, female chaplain, and there's some guy who really needs a guy to talk  to, you know, I think there's many times where you're going to also need to  connect somebody with the right person. And again, you just were that space of  presence that sort of became aware of the problem. But, you know, maybe  you're not the next step of contact  

Henry - with them. I think you're bringing up a good point that sometimes  chaplains are surprising. People talk to you about things, and again, later on in  this series, we're gonna talk about the proper boundaries, so that you are safe  and they are safe. But it really is fascinating, as I've looked at being a chaplain,  how many different conversations come to you that you would have not 

predicted that they would come to you so in when it comes to suicide and  suicide awareness, this is a crucial topic, and it's vital that you have the training  to be able to be comfortable in seeking to help people through these seasons