Navigating Conflict: A Handbook for Elders

Conflict in the church is inevitable. Wherever people gather — with their different personalities, backgrounds, and perspectives — disagreements will surface. Some conflicts stem from differences of opinion about ministry priorities or worship styles. Others emerge from cultural tensions between generations or ethnic groups. Still others come from theological disputes, or simply personal offenses: a harsh word, a neglected visit, an unmet expectation. In every congregation, conflict arises because the church, though redeemed, is still made up of imperfect people being sanctified by grace.

For elders, the central question is not if conflict will happen but how they will respond when it does. Too often, leaders view conflict as a danger to avoid or a distraction from ministry. Some ignore it until it festers, others address it harshly in ways that wound, and many simply hope it will resolve itself. Yet conflict rarely disappears on its own. Mishandled, it can lead to bitterness, gossip, division, and a weakened witness in the community.

But Scripture — and ministries such as PeaceFire.net — remind us that conflict is not only a threat; it can also be an opportunity. Properly engaged, conflict becomes a stage on which the gospel is displayed. It is a chance to glorify God, to serve others in humility, to pursue reconciliation, and to demonstrate Christlike character.

Paul exhorts the church in Rome:

“If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18, WEB)

This verse acknowledges that peace will not always be fully realized, but it places responsibility squarely on believers to take initiative. For elders, this means leading the way in reconciliation, refusing to let pride, fear, or avoidance determine the outcome of conflict.

From a PeaceFire perspective, every conflict is a discipleship moment. Conflict exposes what we value most: our comfort, our control, our reputation, or Christ. It reveals our idols and tests our maturity. Elders who engage conflict biblically can guide the flock through these refining moments, helping people grow in grace, humility, and trust in Christ.

This handbook is written to equip elders to face conflict with courage and hope. It provides biblical foundations, practical steps, and tested tools for navigating disputes in ways that honor God and strengthen His people. When handled with prayer, Scripture, and humility, conflict does not need to weaken the church. Instead, it can strengthen its witness, deepen discipleship, and magnify the reconciling power of the gospel.

Chapter 1. The Biblical Foundations of Peacemaking

Conflict can easily feel like an interruption to “real” ministry, but Scripture reminds us that navigating conflict is itself central to the gospel story. From Genesis to Revelation, God reveals Himself as the One who overcomes enmity, reconciles broken relationships, and establishes peace. For elders, this means that conflict is not simply something to manage; it is an arena where the gospel is lived out.

1.1 God as the Peacemaker

The Bible begins with peace — God dwelling with His people in the garden. That peace was shattered by sin, producing alienation from God, division between people, and even hostility within creation. Yet the story of redemption is the story of God actively pursuing reconciliation.

Paul describes Christ’s work this way:

“For he is our peace, who made both one, and broke down the middle wall of partition, having abolished in the flesh the hostility, the law of commandments contained in ordinances, that he might create in himself one new man of the two, making peace; and might reconcile them both in one body to God through the cross, having killed the hostility thereby.” (Ephesians 2:14–16, WEB)

The cross does not only secure forgiveness of sins; it destroys hostility and creates peace. Through Christ, enemies become family, and strangers become fellow citizens in the household of God.

For elders, this means that pursuing peace is not optional. It is not a matter of temperament or leadership style, but of gospel faithfulness. When elders engage conflict with the aim of reconciliation, they embody God’s own peacemaking work.

1.2 Conflict in the Early Church

The first-century church was not free from conflict. In fact, nearly every letter in the New Testament addresses disputes of one kind or another — doctrinal, relational, or cultural.

• The Jerusalem Council (Acts 15): A sharp theological dispute erupted over whether Gentile converts must be circumcised. The apostles and elders gathered to listen to testimony, weigh Scripture, and discern the Spirit’s leading. The result was a unified decision that preserved both gospel truth and church unity.
• Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36–41): Even seasoned leaders experienced conflict. Paul insisted that John Mark, who had abandoned a previous mission, should not join them again. Barnabas, however, wanted to give him another chance. Their disagreement was so sharp that they parted ways. Yet, even through this division, God multiplied the mission — sending two teams instead of one. Later, Paul would affirm John Mark’s value (2 Tim. 4:11), suggesting reconciliation was possible.

These accounts remind elders that not every conflict resolves neatly, but God is still sovereign. Disputes, when handled in faith, can refine leaders, clarify truth, and even advance the mission.

1.3 The Call to Peacemaking

Jesus places peacemaking at the heart of discipleship:

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9, WEB)

To be called “children of God” means to resemble the Father. Just as God pursued peace with us through Christ, so His children pursue peace with others. Elders, therefore, are not only to manage programs or teach doctrine but to model reconciliation in the life of the church.

Peter echoes this when instructing leaders:

“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, exercising the oversight… not as lording it over those entrusted to you, but making yourselves examples to the flock.” (1 Peter 5:2–3, WEB)

When elders model humility, repentance, forgiveness, and reconciliation, they teach the congregation how to navigate conflict in Christlike ways. Their example sets the tone for the whole body.

PeaceFire Insight: Conflict as Discipleship

From the perspective of PeaceFire.net, conflict is not primarily about winning an argument or achieving compromise. It is about discipleship. Conflict reveals where our hearts are misplaced — exposing idols of control, comfort, or pride. It invites us to return to Christ, who alone satisfies.

For elders, this means seeing conflict through a gospel lens:

• Conflict is not a distraction but a classroom.
• Conflict exposes sin but also opens the door to grace.
• Conflict can deepen trust in Christ as we practice humility, confession, and reconciliation.

Thus, when elders guide their flock through conflict, they are not merely “putting out fires.” They are helping people grow in holiness, trust, and maturity. In God’s hands, conflict becomes a refining fire that strengthens the church.

Chapter 2. Common Sources of Conflict in Churches

Conflict in the church often takes familiar forms. While every congregation has its unique history and culture, the same categories of tension appear again and again across generations and denominations. For elders, the key is not only to recognize these sources of conflict but also to discern their true nature — theological, practical, or personal — and then respond biblically.

1. Doctrinal Disputes

Nature of the conflict: Disagreements over what Scripture teaches, or the rise of teaching that distorts the gospel.

• The New Testament repeatedly warns against false teaching. Paul writes:

“But even though we, or an angel from heaven, should preach to you any gospel other than what we preached to you, let him be cursed.” (Galatians 1:8, WEB)

• Doctrinal disputes can divide congregations, especially when secondary issues (e.g., end-times views, spiritual gifts) are elevated to the level of gospel essentials.

Elder response:

• Guard the “faithful word” (Titus 1:9).
• Teach with clarity and patience, helping the flock distinguish between core gospel truths and secondary matters.
• Address error quickly but graciously, aiming to restore rather than to humiliate.

PeaceFire Insight: Doctrinal conflict can reveal whether we are clinging to Christ as our center or to our intellectual pride. Elders can disciple members to pursue truth with humility and love.

2. Leadership Tensions

Nature of the conflict: Disagreements within the elder team or between elders and staff.

• Even spiritual leaders sometimes clash. Paul and Barnabas’ “sharp disagreement” over John Mark (Acts 15:39) reminds us that differences of judgment are real.
• Leadership conflict is especially damaging because it is highly visible. Sheep are unsettled when shepherds fight.

Elder response:

• Address tensions directly and privately (Matt. 18:15).
• Commit to prayer together before debating decisions.
• Model humility: elders must be quick to listen, slow to speak, and eager to forgive (James 1:19).

PeaceFire Insight: Leadership conflict exposes where control or ego may have taken root. Elders who confess their own part demonstrate the gospel in action.

3. Cultural or Generational Divides

Nature of the conflict: Differences over worship style, traditions, or cultural issues.

• One group longs for hymns and formal liturgy; another desires contemporary songs and informal gatherings.
• Generational gaps may produce tension over technology, gender roles, or social engagement.
• In the New Testament, Jewish and Gentile believers clashed over food laws and circumcision (Acts 15; Romans 14).

Elder response:

• Affirm the unity of the body in Christ (Eph. 4:4–6).
• Teach Romans 14:17: “For God’s Kingdom is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.”
• Pursue solutions that honor diverse expressions while keeping Christ central.

PeaceFire Insight: Cultural conflict is often about identity. Elders can remind members that their truest identity is not generational or cultural but as children of God in Christ.

4. Personal Offenses

Nature of the conflict: Gossip, slander, unmet expectations, or relational slights.

• James warns about the destructive power of the tongue:

“So also the tongue is a little member, and boasts great things. See how a small fire can spread to a large forest!” (James 3:5, WEB)

• A careless word, a forgotten thank-you, or a perceived exclusion can spiral into resentment if not addressed.

Elder response:

• Encourage members to practice Matthew 18:15 — going directly to the person who offended them.
• Model confession and forgiveness publicly when appropriate.
• Confront gossip firmly; it is a poison to unity.

PeaceFire Insight: Personal conflict often reveals idols of approval, comfort, or control. Elders can disciple members to seek satisfaction in Christ rather than in flawless relationships.

5. Organizational Pressures

Nature of the conflict: Disagreements about budgets, property, staff, or ministry priorities.

• In Acts 6, the early church faced a dispute over food distribution. The apostles responded by appointing deacons so they could focus on prayer and the ministry of the Word (Acts 6:1–4).
• Today, decisions about money or buildings often carry emotional weight, revealing deeper values and priorities.

Elder response:

• Frame decisions as stewardship, not survival (1 Cor. 4:2).
• Pray and fast before making weighty choices (Acts 13:2–3).
• Listen carefully to those affected, but ultimately seek what glorifies Christ and advances His mission.

PeaceFire Insight: Organizational conflict exposes where we are tempted to trust in human resources rather than God’s provision. Elders can disciple the congregation toward deeper faith in God’s care.

Summary: Discernment Is Key

Oversight requires elders to discern the true nature of conflict. Is it primarily:

• Theological (truth at stake)?
• Practical (methods or logistics)?
• Personal (relationships and offenses)?

Each type requires a different emphasis — correction, wisdom, or reconciliation. But in every case, elders are called to keep the gospel central, pursuing peace that glorifies God and strengthens His people.

Chapter 3. Principles of Navigating Conflict

Conflict in the church does not need to be feared or avoided. Instead, elders can approach it with confidence when guided by biblical principles. Ministries like PeaceFire.net often summarize these principles into practical frameworks such as the “4 G’s of Peacemaking.” These steps are not formulas but biblical patterns that equip leaders to respond faithfully, keeping the gospel central.

3.1 Glorify God First

The primary question in conflict is not, “How do I win?” or even, “How do we solve this quickly?” The first and most important question is, “How can God be glorified in this situation?”

Paul writes:

“Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, WEB)

When elders make God’s glory the priority, conflict shifts from a battle of wills to an opportunity for worship. Even disagreement can display Christ’s humility, forgiveness, and grace.

PeaceFire Insight: Conflict often reveals whose glory we are seeking — our own comfort, control, or reputation. Elders can lead by example, choosing God’s glory over personal victory.

3.2 Get the Log Out of Your Own Eye

Jesus gives a direct command in conflict:

“Why do you see the speck that is in your brother’s eye, but don’t consider the beam that is in your own eye? … First remove the beam out of your own eye, and then you can see clearly to remove the speck out of your brother’s eye.” (Matthew 7:3, 5, WEB)

The overseer’s first task in conflict is not to evaluate the faults of others but to examine their own heart. What pride, impatience, or sin might they be bringing to the table?

Elders model humility by confessing their own wrongs before addressing others. This posture disarms defensiveness, builds trust, and opens the way for reconciliation.

PeaceFire Insight: Conflict is a mirror. It shows us where our hearts are clinging to idols — approval, control, security — instead of Christ. By “getting the log out,” elders disciple the church in self-examination and repentance.

3.3 Gently Restore

Paul exhorts the Galatians:

“Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself, so that you also aren’t tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, WEB)

The goal of addressing conflict is restoration, not humiliation or defeat. Elders must confront sin when necessary, but always with a posture of gentleness. A harsh or domineering approach may win compliance but will not produce true reconciliation.

Elders should remember that they too are sinners saved by grace. To restore gently means to treat the other person as Christ treated us — with truth and mercy held together.

PeaceFire Insight: In conflict, we are tempted to “fix” others quickly. But peacemaking is slower, gentler, and more relational. Elders disciple members to see that restoration matters more than efficiency.

3.4 Go and Be Reconciled

Jesus places reconciliation at the center of discipleship:

“If therefore you are offering your gift at the altar, and there remember that your brother has anything against you, leave your gift there before the altar, and go your way. First be reconciled to your brother, and then come and offer your gift.” (Matthew 5:23–24, WEB)

Peacemaking requires action. It is not enough to wish for reconciliation or pray about it privately. Elders must take the initiative to go — even when they are not the primary offender. Delaying reconciliation damages worship, weakens fellowship, and gives Satan a foothold.

PeaceFire Insight: Reconciliation often feels costly — it requires humility, vulnerability, and risk. But elders model Christ, who took the first step toward us while we were still His enemies (Romans 5:8).

3.5 Seeing Conflict as Discipleship

The heart of PeaceFire’s approach is this: conflict is not primarily about winning or losing but about discipleship. Every disagreement is an invitation to expose idols, refine faith, and return to Christ.

For elders, this means:

• Conflict is not a detour but part of spiritual formation.
• Conflict provides a stage for repentance, forgiveness, and growth in grace.
• Conflict, handled biblically, can make both leaders and members more like Jesus.

In other words, conflict is not wasted. God uses it as a refining fire to sanctify His people and strengthen His church.

Summary

The principles of navigating conflict can be summed up in the 4 G’s:

1. Glorify God — aim for His honor, not personal victory.
2. Get the log out — start with humble self-examination.
3. Gently restore — confront sin with truth and mercy.
4. Go and be reconciled — take initiative to repair relationships.

When elders embody these principles, they lead their flock through conflict in ways that magnify Christ and deepen discipleship.

Chapter 4. Practical Steps for Elders

1. Pray for wisdom (James 1:5).
2. Clarify the issue — is it misunderstanding, sin, or preference?
3. Meet privately first (Matt. 18:15).
4. Bring witnesses if needed (Matt. 18:16).
5. Involve the church carefully (Matt. 18:17), aiming at restoration.
6. Seek mediation if necessary — elders can call on trained peacemakers (e.g., PeaceFire mediators).
7. Keep the gospel central — forgiveness, repentance, reconciliation.

Chapter 4. Practical Steps for Elders

Biblical principles are essential, but elders also need practical steps for applying those truths when conflict arises in their congregations. Scripture provides a framework, and ministries such as PeaceFire.net offer tools that help leaders move from theory to practice.

Oversight requires elders to respond with both courage and humility, following the process outlined by Jesus in Matthew 18 and demonstrated in the life of the early church.

Step 1. Pray for Wisdom

Before elders act, they must turn to God. Conflict often stirs emotions — anger, fear, frustration — that cloud judgment. James exhorts us:

“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5, WEB)

Elder practice:

• Pray individually before engaging conflict.
• Begin every elder discussion of conflict with corporate prayer, asking the Spirit to guide words, tone, and motives.
• Seek discernment: is this conflict primarily doctrinal, practical, or personal?

Step 2. Clarify the Issue

Not all conflicts are equal. Some are rooted in theological error that threatens gospel truth; others are disagreements over style or method; still others are relational misunderstandings. Elders must discern what kind of conflict they are facing.

Elder practice:

• Gather accurate information before taking action. (Proverbs 18:13: “He who answers before he hears, that is folly and shame to him.”)
• Resist making assumptions or siding prematurely.
• Ask: Is sin clearly involved, or is this a matter of preference?

PeaceFire Insight: Clarifying the conflict helps expose what’s really at stake — idols of control, fear, or identity — and invites members to grow in Christ through discipleship.

Step 3. Meet Privately First

Jesus instructs believers:

“If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone. If he listens to you, you have gained back your brother.” (Matthew 18:15, WEB)

Private conversation is always the first step. Elders can coach members to do this themselves or, when appropriate, initiate these conversations.

Elder practice:

• Encourage direct, face-to-face dialogue rather than gossip.
• Approach with humility: listen first, then speak.
• Aim for restoration, not confrontation.

Step 4. Bring Witnesses if Needed

If private conversation does not resolve the issue, Jesus directs the next step:

“But if he doesn’t listen, take one or two more with you, that at the mouth of two or three witnesses every word may be established.” (Matthew 18:16, WEB)

Bringing witnesses is not about “piling on” but ensuring fairness and accountability.

Elder practice:

• Select witnesses who are wise, impartial, and spiritually mature.
• Use this step to clarify misunderstandings and keep communication constructive.
• Keep the circle small — involving only those necessary for resolution.

Step 5. Involve the Church Carefully

When personal efforts fail, Jesus allows escalation:

“If he refuses to listen to them, tell it to the assembly. If he refuses to listen to the assembly also, let him be to you as a Gentile or a tax collector.” (Matthew 18:17, WEB)

This step is weighty and must be exercised with great care. The goal is always restoration, not punishment. Elders must guard against shaming individuals publicly, but they must also protect the church’s integrity.

Elder practice:

• Communicate clearly why escalation is happening.
• Frame discipline as an act of love, not retribution.
• Continue pursuing the person with prayer and hope for repentance.

Step 6. Seek Mediation if Necessary

Some conflicts are too complex or heated for elders alone to resolve. In these cases, calling in trained mediators can be an act of wisdom, not weakness.

Elder practice:

• Identify trusted peacemakers (such as those trained by PeaceFire.net or other Christian mediation ministries).
• Use mediators especially in cases of leadership conflict, abuse allegations, or long-standing disputes.
• Frame mediation as an extension of Christ’s reconciling work, not as outsourcing elder responsibility.

Step 7. Keep the Gospel Central

Throughout every step, elders must remind themselves and their people that conflict resolution is not about “winning.” It is about displaying the gospel. Forgiveness, repentance, grace, and reconciliation are at the core of Christian faith.

Paul exhorts:

“Be kind to one another, tenderhearted, forgiving each other, just as God also in Christ forgave you.”(Ephesians 4:32, WEB)

Elder practice:

• Share Scriptures about forgiveness and reconciliation.
• Encourage public testimonies of reconciliation when appropriate.
• Remind the church often: conflict is not a sign that God has abandoned us, but an opportunity for Him to show His reconciling power.

Summary of Steps

1. Pray for wisdom.
2. Clarify the issue.
3. Meet privately first.
4. Bring witnesses if needed.
5. Involve the church carefully.
6. Seek mediation when necessary.
7. Keep the gospel central.

When elders follow these steps, they guide the congregation through conflict with wisdom, humility, and hope. Conflict becomes not a weakness of the church, but a testimony to Christ’s presence among His people.

Chapter 5. Elder Boards and Internal Conflict

Conflict is never more dangerous to a church than when it arises among its leaders. When elders clash, the ripple effects spread quickly through the congregation. Sheep lose confidence when shepherds fight. Gossip multiplies when members hear that leaders are divided. The credibility of oversight is undermined when those called to model humility and reconciliation cannot practice it themselves.

Yet Scripture and experience remind us that conflict among elders is inevitable. Elders are not clones — they bring different temperaments, gifts, convictions, and experiences to the table. Sometimes these differences sharpen wisdom; other times they create tension. The key question is not whether elders will disagree but how they will navigate their disagreements in a Christlike manner.

5.1 Biblical Examples of Leadership Conflict

• Paul and Barnabas (Acts 15:36–41): These missionary partners experienced a “sharp disagreement” over John Mark. Their conflict was serious enough that they parted ways. Yet God still advanced His mission through both teams. This shows that conflict among leaders is real, sometimes unresolved, but not beyond God’s sovereignty.
• The Jerusalem Council (Acts 15:6–29): Apostles and elders debated whether Gentile believers must follow Jewish law. The process included testimony, Scripture reflection, prayer, and group discernment. The outcome was unity and clarity, demonstrating that conflict can be resolved through Spirit-led dialogue.

5.2 Dangers of Unresolved Elder Conflict

1. Division in the church: Congregations often take sides when elders fight.
2. Erosion of trust: Members lose confidence when leaders gossip or undercut each other.
3. Distraction from mission: Energy that should fuel disciple-making gets consumed by power struggles.
4. Spiritual vulnerability: Satan exploits unresolved anger to weaken oversight (Eph. 4:26–27).

5.3 Principles for Handling Internal Conflict

1. Pray First Together
   Begin difficult discussions with united prayer. When elders kneel before the same Lord, pride and defensiveness soften.
2. Practice Humble Listening
   James exhorts: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19, WEB). Elders must listen to one another with charity, assuming the best, not the worst.
3. Keep Issues Private
   Elders should never air disagreements before the congregation prematurely. Internal conflict should be handled within the board unless biblical accountability requires wider involvement.
4. Pursue Unity, Not Uniformity
   Unity does not mean every elder thinks identically. It means disagreements are resolved in ways that preserve love and shared mission. Elders must emerge from meetings committed to stand together, even if the decision was not their preference.
5. Address Sin Directly
   If conflict reveals sinful attitudes — pride, anger, dishonesty — elders must confront one another in love (Matt. 18:15). Confession and forgiveness among leaders models gospel humility for the church.

5.4 Practices that Prevent Elder Conflict

• Covenant of Conduct: Many boards adopt a written agreement about how they will handle disagreement (e.g., We will pray before debate. We will not gossip. We will support decisions publicly even if we disagreed privately.).
• Regular Self-Examination: Ask: Are we walking in the Spirit? Are we harboring unspoken resentment?
• Accountability Relationships: Pair elders for mutual encouragement and honesty outside formal meetings.
• Retreats and Rest: Time away from business agendas allows elders to reconnect relationally and spiritually.

5.5 PeaceFire Insight: Leadership Conflict as Discipleship

From a PeaceFire perspective, elder-board conflict is not merely a threat to manage but a discipleship opportunity. It exposes idols (control, recognition, fear of losing influence) and calls leaders back to Christ. When elders confess their own part, seek reconciliation, and emerge united, the church sees a living picture of the gospel.

Case Study

In one congregation, two elders disagreed about how to handle a moral scandal. Instead of addressing the issue directly, they lobbied members outside the board, each trying to gain support. Soon, the church was polarized, and trust in leadership collapsed.

In another church, elders disagreed about hiring a new staff member. The discussion grew tense, but the board paused to pray, listened carefully to each other, and sought consensus. While not every elder’s preference was chosen, all agreed to support the decision publicly. Members later said they admired how their leaders handled disagreement with grace.

Reflection Questions for Elder Teams

1. How does your board currently handle disagreements? Do you pray together before debating?
2. Do you have a clear covenant or set of norms for handling conflict among elders?
3. Are there unspoken tensions in your board right now that need to be addressed biblically?
4. How could your elders model confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation for your congregation?

Chapter 6. The Fruits of Faithful Peacemaking

When elders face conflict with courage, humility, and biblical faithfulness, the results can be transformative. Instead of weakening the church, conflict becomes an instrument for growth. Peacemaking produces fruit in at least four areas: gospel witness, congregational trust, unity in the body, and deeper discipleship.

6.1 The Gospel Is Displayed

Conflict resolution is not just about harmony; it is a visible demonstration of the gospel.

Paul writes:

“All this is from God, who reconciled us to himself through Jesus Christ, and gave to us the ministry of reconciliation.” (2 Corinthians 5:18, WEB)

When elders model reconciliation, they embody Christ’s work of making peace through the cross. Members, unbelievers, and even the wider community see forgiveness, repentance, and humility in action.

Example: A church divided over worship styles witnessed reconciliation after elders led both sides to confess selfishness and choose humility. Outsiders marveled: “We expected a split, but instead, they showed us Christ.”

6.2 Trust in Leadership Increases

Nothing builds or breaks trust faster than how leaders handle conflict. When elders respond defensively, harshly, or passively, members lose confidence. But when elders handle disputes with fairness, humility, and clarity, trust deepens.

Proverbs 11:14 reminds us:

“Where there is no wise guidance, the nation falls, but in the multitude of counselors there is safety.” (WEB)

Faithful peacemaking shows the congregation that their leaders are guided not by pride but by the Spirit. Members are more willing to follow elders who demonstrate integrity in conflict.

6.3 Unity in the Body Is Strengthened

Paul exhorts the Ephesians:

“Being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:3, WEB)

Conflict does not automatically destroy unity — in fact, when handled biblically, it can deepen it. Disagreement provides opportunities to practice humility, patience, and mutual submission. Unity forged through conflict is often stronger than unity that has never been tested.

PeaceFire Insight: Unity is not the absence of conflict but the presence of Christ at the center of conflict. When elders disciple members to see conflict this way, the whole church matures.

6.4 Discipleship Growth in Members

Conflict reveals the idols of our hearts — control, recognition, comfort, or approval. When elders guide members through conflict biblically, they help people repent of these idols and grow in holiness.

James 1:2–4 reframes trials this way:

“Count it all joy, my brothers, when you fall into various temptations, knowing that the testing of your faith produces endurance. Let endurance have its perfect work, that you may be perfect and complete, lacking in nothing.” (WEB)

Conflict, navigated with humility, becomes a training ground for discipleship. Members learn to confess sin, extend forgiveness, and trust Christ more deeply.

6.5 The Church’s Mission Advances

A divided, quarrelling church is consumed with itself and distracted from mission. But a reconciled, unified church shines as a light to the world.

Jesus declared:

“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35, WEB)

When elders lead in peacemaking, they free the church’s energy for evangelism, service, and disciple-making. Conflict, once resolved, often unleashes renewed passion for mission.

Summary

Faithful peacemaking bears abundant fruit:

• The gospel is displayed — reconciliation demonstrates Christ’s cross.
• Trust increases — members follow leaders who handle conflict with integrity.
• Unity deepens — tested unity is resilient unity.
• Discipleship grows — conflict becomes a classroom for holiness.
• Mission advances — the church refocuses outward, not inward.

Reflection Questions for Elder Teams

1. Have you seen examples in your church where conflict, handled well, actually strengthened the body?
2. How has trust in your leadership been affected — positively or negatively — by the way conflict has been resolved?
3. Do your members see conflict as a failure or as a discipleship opportunity? How can you teach them a gospel-centered view?
4. What fruits of peacemaking do you most long to see in your congregation right now?

Appendix A: Tools for Navigating Conflict

Reflection Questions for Elders

1. Do I see conflict as an obstacle or an opportunity to glorify God?
2. How have I contributed to the conflict, even indirectly?
3. Am I willing to confess my part before confronting others?
4. How can I shepherd the flock toward Christlikeness in this moment?

Checklist for Conflict Resolution

•  Pray for wisdom.
•  Clarify the nature of the conflict.
•  Engage privately first.
•  Aim for restoration, not victory.
•  Keep the gospel central.
•  Model humility at every stage.

Appendix B: Case Studies and Elder Responses

Case Study 1: Worship Style Conflict

Half want hymns, half want contemporary songs.

Response: Pray, clarify it as preference not doctrine, affirm both traditions, consider blended services, and teach humility (Phil. 2:3–4). PeaceFire Insight: Ask, “What idols of comfort are exposed here?”

Case Study 2: Financial Conflict

Budget shortfall — cut staff or missions?

Response: Pray and fast (Acts 13:2–3), frame as stewardship not survival, listen to all sides, seek consensus. PeaceFire Insight: Ask, “Are we trusting Christ or our spreadsheets?”

Case Study 3: Elder Disagreement

Two elders clash over hiring.

Response: Apply Matthew 18:15 privately, use mediation if needed, re-center on mission, and forbid lobbying among members. Model reconciliation even if disagreement remains.

Case Study 4: Member in Sin

A respected member lives in open immorality.

Response: Follow Matthew 18:15–17; balance holiness and grace; communicate discipline as love; aim for restoration (Gal. 6:1). PeaceFire Insight: Conflict reveals idols like favoritism or fear of man.

Elders as Peacemakers

Elders are not only overseers of doctrine and mission but also guardians of peace. Their task is not to eliminate all conflict but to navigate it biblically, demonstrating how Christ reconciles enemies and turns division into unity.

“The God of peace himself sanctify you completely. May your whole spirit, soul, and body be preserved blameless at the coming of our Lord Jesus Christ.” (1 Thessalonians 5:23, WEB)

Conflict, when approached in Christ, becomes a pathway for sanctification. Elders who lead with humility, courage, and gospel-centeredness reflect the heart of the Good Shepherd and strengthen the church’s witness in a divided world.

Conclusion: Elders as Peacemakers

Conflict in the church is not an accident — it is part of life in a broken world and even part of God’s refining work among His people. What distinguishes a healthy church from a divided one is not the absence of conflict but the presence of faithful, Christlike leadership in the midst of it.

Elders are called not only to guard doctrine and guide mission but also to model reconciliation. They demonstrate to the flock how to confess sin, seek forgiveness, and pursue peace in Christ. When they embody humility and courage in conflict, they reflect the Chief Shepherd, who reconciled us to God at great cost.

Paul reminds us:

“If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.” (Romans 12:18, WEB)

This verse captures both the realism and the responsibility of peacemaking. Elders cannot force peace in every situation, but they are responsible to pursue it faithfully, with love, prayer, and perseverance.

From a PeaceFire perspective, conflict is not just a danger — it is a discipleship moment. It exposes idols, tests maturity, and invites us to return to Christ. Elders who approach conflict this way will discover that disputes become opportunities for the gospel to be displayed, for members to grow in grace, and for the church’s witness to shine in the world.

The fruits of faithful peacemaking are profound: trust in leadership deepens, unity grows stronger, discipleship matures, and mission advances. A reconciled church becomes a living testimony to the world that Christ has indeed broken down dividing walls and made peace by the blood of His cross (Eph. 2:14–16).

Final Encouragement

Elders, your role as peacemakers is not easy. It requires prayer, humility, patience, and at times painful confrontation. But you do not serve in your own strength. The Spirit equips you, the Word guides you, and Christ Himself intercedes for you.

Remember the promise of Jesus:

“Blessed are the peacemakers, for they shall be called children of God.” (Matthew 5:9, WEB)

As you lead your flock through conflict, you are walking in the footsteps of your Father, who made peace through His Son. Your faithful peacemaking is not only a blessing to your congregation — it is a reflection of your true identity as God’s children.

Go forward, then, as elders who embody the gospel of peace, shepherding God’s people with courage, wisdom, and grace.

Appendices

Appendix A. Reflection Tools for Elders

Healthy oversight requires elders to examine their own hearts before addressing conflict in the congregation. Jesus’ command to “remove the beam from your own eye” (Matt. 7:5, WEB) reminds us that self-examination is not optional — it is the first step toward faithful leadership. These tools are designed to help elders pause, reflect, and align their motives with the gospel.

1. Elder Self-Examination Questions

Use these questions in personal prayer, elder retreats, or accountability settings. They can also be revisited before engaging in any conflict resolution process.

Do I see conflict primarily as a problem to avoid or as an opportunity for the gospel?

Avoidance breeds resentment, but gospel-centered engagement glorifies God. Am I choosing comfort over discipleship?

How have I contributed to the conflicts I’m involved in — through words, attitudes, or silence?

Reflect honestly: Have I been passive when I should have spoken, or harsh when I should have listened? (James 3:1–10).

Am I more concerned with being right, being comfortable, or glorifying God?

Motives matter. Pursuing “rightness” can mask pride, while seeking God’s glory keeps the gospel at the center (1 Cor. 10:31).

How am I practicing confession and forgiveness in my relationships as an elder?

Do I model repentance when I am wrong? Am I quick to forgive, or do I hold grudges? (Col. 3:13).

Do I model humility and reconciliation for the congregation, or do I avoid difficult conversations?

Elders set the tone. If I avoid conflict, my people may follow my example — but if I model grace and courage, they will learn to do the same.

2. Conflict Resolution Checklist

This checklist can be used by elder boards when facing a specific conflict. It ensures that biblical priorities are followed before decisions or interventions are made.

Have I prayed for wisdom before taking action?
(James 1:5) Prayer is not the last resort but the first step.

Do I understand the nature of this conflict (theological, practical, personal)?
Clarifying the type of conflict shapes the response: doctrinal correction, practical wisdom, or relational reconciliation.

Have I encouraged private, direct conversation (Matt. 18:15)?
Gossip destroys. Encourage face-to-face reconciliation before escalation.

Am I prepared to confess my own part before addressing others?
Self-examination disarms defensiveness and shows humility (Matt. 7:5).

Is my goal restoration rather than victory?
Winning arguments may lose brothers. Restoration reflects Christ’s love (Gal. 6:1).

Am I keeping the gospel central throughout the process?
Remind yourself and others: reconciliation is not about personal preference but about showing Christ’s cross (2 Cor. 5:18–19).

How to Use This Appendix

Individually: Each elder spends 15–20 minutes in prayer with these tools before an elder meeting.

Corporately: Boards can use them at the beginning of meetings when conflict is on the agenda.

Retreats: Dedicate a session to walk through these questions together, confess, and pray for unity.

Appendix B. Case Studies for Elder Training

Case studies give elders a safe way to practice applying biblical principles to real-world challenges. They provide opportunity for prayer, discussion, and reflection before conflict arises in their own congregation. Each case study includes a scenario, biblical considerations, and guided questions for elder teams.

Case Study 1: Doctrinal Dispute

Scenario:
A member begins teaching in a small group that Christians must obey Old Testament food laws to be truly faithful. Several members are persuaded, but others express alarm, worried that this undermines salvation by grace. Tension grows in the group, and the matter is brought to the elders for resolution.

Biblical Considerations

Is this a gospel issue or a secondary matter?

Paul warns against adding requirements to the gospel:

“For freedom Christ has set us free. Stand firm therefore, and don’t be entangled again with a yoke of bondage.” (Galatians 5:1, WEB)

In Acts 15, the Jerusalem Council concluded that Gentile believers were not bound to the ceremonial law.

Food laws are a secondary matter if treated as personal conviction (Romans 14:2–3), but become a gospel issue if taught as necessary for salvation.

How do we gently correct error while restoring the member?

Correction should be gentle, not harsh (2 Tim. 2:25).

Elders should clarify the gospel of grace: salvation comes through Christ alone, not dietary observance.

Restoration involves both truth and relationship — avoiding shame while affirming belonging in Christ.

How can we disciple the whole church through this moment?

Use the situation to teach about Christian freedom (Romans 14:17).

Model humility in disputable matters and clarity in gospel essentials.

Encourage members to value unity over minor differences while holding firm to the truth of the gospel.

Guided Questions for Elder Teams

Discernment: What criteria do we use to decide if an issue is central to the gospel or secondary?

Response: How would we privately approach the member teaching this? Who should meet with them, and what tone should be set?

Teaching Opportunity: How can we use this as a learning moment for the small group, without embarrassing the member?

Oversight: How can we equip small group leaders better to recognize and respond to doctrinal error early?

Training Exercise

Role-play scenario: Divide elders into two groups.

Group A plays the small group member and those who were persuaded.

Group B plays the elder team seeking to respond.

Practice: meeting with the member privately, clarifying the gospel, and encouraging correction in humility.

Debrief: Discuss what was effective, what was difficult, and how the gospel was or was not central in the approach.

Case Study 2: Leadership Tension

Scenario:
Two elders on the board strongly disagree about whether to expand the budget to hire a youth pastor. One believes the church must invest in reaching the next generation immediately. The other insists the finances are not stable enough and warns against taking risks. Their disagreement grows heated during meetings, and they begin lobbying members of the congregation outside the board. Rumors spread, and the congregation starts to sense division within leadership.

Biblical Considerations

Unity Among Elders Is Essential for Witness

Jesus prayed for His followers:

“That they may all be one; even as you, Father, are in me, and I in you, that they also may be one in us; that the world may believe that you sent me.” (John 17:21, WEB)

Division among leaders undermines credibility and disrupts the church’s mission.

Conflict Must Be Addressed Directly and Humbly

Matthew 18:15 applies to leaders as much as members:

“If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone.” (WEB)

Elders should resist lobbying or gossip and instead seek reconciliation privately first.

Discerning Mission and Stewardship

Investing in youth is aligned with making disciples (Matt. 28:19–20).

Stewardship also requires careful management of God’s resources (1 Cor. 4:2).

Elders must weigh faith-filled risk against wise caution, asking what most glorifies Christ and strengthens the mission.

The Goal Is Consensus, Not Victory

Proverbs 15:22: “Where there is no counsel, plans fail; but in a multitude of counselors they are established.” (WEB)

Elders may not all agree at first, but the aim is a unified decision that all will support publicly once discerned together.

Guided Questions for Elder Teams

Heart Check: Am I more concerned with “winning” my viewpoint, or with glorifying God and serving the flock?

Process: How should the board address heated disagreements between elders?

Boundaries: How do we hold one another accountable to avoid lobbying members outside of meetings?

Mission: How do we discern together when to step forward in faith and when to pause in stewardship?

Training Exercise

Role-play scenario:

Assign two elders to represent each “side” of the disagreement (hire vs. don’t hire).

Assign a third elder to act as mediator/facilitator in the board meeting.

Practice:

Each side presents their conviction briefly.

The facilitator leads the group in prayer, scripture reflection, and listening.

The board works toward a statement of unity, even if not everyone’s preference wins.

Debrief Questions:

How well did we keep the gospel central rather than personal agendas?

Did our tone reflect humility and gentleness?

What practical norms should our board adopt to prevent lobbying and division?

Case Study 3: Cultural Divide

Scenario:
A congregation is split over worship. One group — mostly older members — prefers hymns, organ music, and a more formal service. Another group — largely younger families — desires contemporary praise songs with guitars and drums, and a more casual atmosphere. The disagreement escalates, with some threatening to leave if “their” style is not prioritized. Elders begin receiving complaints, rumors spread, and worship itself becomes a battleground.

Biblical Considerations

Unity in Diversity

Paul reminds the church that unity is rooted in Christ, not in style:

“There is one body, and one Spirit, even as you also were called in one hope of your calling; one Lord, one faith, one baptism, one God and Father of all, who is over all, and through all, and in us all.” (Ephesians 4:4–6, WEB)

Worship expressions may differ, but the object of worship — the Lord — is the same.

Avoiding Quarrels Over Preferences

Romans 14 speaks directly to disputes about food and holy days:

“For God’s Kingdom is not eating and drinking, but righteousness, peace, and joy in the Holy Spirit.” (Romans 14:17, WEB)

By extension, worship preferences must not be elevated to gospel essentials.

Practicing Humility and Mutual Submission

Philippians 2:3–4 exhorts believers:

“Doing nothing through rivalry or through conceit, but in humility, each counting others better than himself; each of you not just looking to his own things, but each of you also to the things of others.” (WEB)

Elders must model selflessness and encourage the congregation to consider others’ needs.

Framing Conflict as Discipleship

The fight over style exposes deeper idols: comfort, nostalgia, or desire for control.

Elders can disciple members to prioritize Christ over cultural preferences.

Guided Questions for Elder Teams

Discernment: Is this conflict about doctrine, or about personal and cultural preference?

Tone: How can elders affirm the value of both traditions without diminishing either group?

Discipleship: How can this tension be used to teach humility, love, and unity in Christ?

Practicality: Would a blended or rotating worship approach serve the body? Or should separate services be considered without dividing the church relationally?

Training Exercise

Role-play scenario:

Assign elders to represent each “side” (traditional vs. contemporary preference).

Assign one elder to act as mediator/facilitator.

Practice:

Each side shares why their preference matters to them (drawing out deeper heart issues).

The facilitator guides the conversation back to unity in Christ, humility, and mission.

The board works toward a solution that honors both groups without compromising the gospel.

Debrief Questions:

How did we balance empathy with gospel truth?

Did we address the idols beneath the surface (comfort, control, nostalgia)?

What discipleship steps could we implement (e.g., teaching on Romans 14, encouraging intergenerational fellowship)?

Case Study 4: Personal Offense

Scenario:
A longtime member of the congregation is hospitalized. Due to miscommunication, no elder visits her. When she returns home, she feels overlooked and hurt. Instead of approaching the elders directly, she begins sharing her disappointment with others. Soon gossip spreads that “the elders don’t care about people anymore.” Some members begin to question whether the leadership is attentive or compassionate.

Biblical Considerations

Caring for the Flock

Peter exhorts elders:

“Shepherd the flock of God which is among you, exercising the oversight… not as lording it over those entrusted to you, but making yourselves examples to the flock.” (1 Peter 5:2–3, WEB)

Elders must show attentiveness to members’ needs. Even unintentional neglect can damage trust.

Addressing Gossip

Proverbs 16:28 warns:

“A perverse man stirs up strife. A gossip separates close friends.” (WEB)

Gossip magnifies hurt and spreads division. It must be addressed gently but firmly.

Practicing Direct Reconciliation

Jesus’ teaching applies here as well:

“If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone.” (Matthew 18:15, WEB)

Members should be encouraged to bring their hurt directly to elders, and elders must model humility when approached.

Balancing Truth and Grace

The elders must acknowledge the oversight (truth) while also extending care and reassurance (grace).

This situation becomes a discipleship moment about forgiveness and communication.

Guided Questions for Elder Teams

Oversight: What systems do we have (or need) to ensure that members in crisis are not overlooked?

Response: How should elders approach this member with humility and care?

Correction: How do we address gossip without shaming the member, while still protecting the unity of the body?

Discipleship: How can we use this as a teaching moment for the church on confession, forgiveness, and direct communication?

Training Exercise

Role-play scenario:

Assign one elder to play the hurt member.

Assign two elders to play the elder team responding.

Practice:

Begin with listening to the member’s pain without defensiveness.

Acknowledge the failure: “We should have been there. We’re sorry we missed this, and we want to do better.”

Gently redirect gossip: “We’d love to meet directly if you’re hurt, so we can listen and care.”

Debrief Questions:

Did the elders respond defensively, or with humility?

Was the member’s hurt validated without excusing gossip?

What new system could prevent this from happening again (e.g., a “care coordinator” or weekly elder check-ins)?

Case Study 5: Organizational Pressure

Scenario:
The church faces a significant budget shortfall. Some elders argue that the solution is to reduce or freeze missions giving until finances stabilize. Others believe cutting staff positions is the only sustainable option. Congregation members begin to hear conflicting rumors, and anxiety spreads. The debate intensifies in board meetings, with frustration on both sides. The church feels stuck between maintaining ministries at home and continuing to support missionaries abroad.

Biblical Considerations

Faithful Stewardship

Paul writes:

“Here, moreover, it is required of stewards that they be found faithful.” (1 Corinthians 4:2, WEB)

Elders are stewards of God’s resources, not their own. Stewardship requires both prudence and faith.

Mission Priority

Jesus commands the church to make disciples of all nations (Matt. 28:19–20).

Cutting missions may relieve short-term pressure but risks compromising long-term obedience.

Dependence on God’s Provision

Paul commends the Macedonian churches:

“In a severe ordeal of affliction, the abundance of their joy and their deep poverty abounded to the riches of their generosity.” (2 Corinthians 8:2, WEB)

Financial crisis can be a moment to deepen trust in God’s provision rather than shrink back in fear.

Guarding Unity

Practical decisions about money can easily divide the body. Elders must lead in keeping the church’s focus on God’s mission, not internal anxiety.

Guided Questions for Elder Teams

Discernment: How do we balance financial prudence with missional faithfulness?

Communication: How should we communicate the reality of the financial strain to the congregation without spreading fear?

Witness: What message do our financial decisions send about our trust in God?

Unity: How do we ensure this disagreement strengthens, rather than fractures, our board and church family?

Training Exercise

Role-play scenario:

Divide elders into two groups:

Group A argues for temporarily reducing missions giving.

Group B argues for reducing staff.

Assign one elder as a mediator/facilitator.

Practice:

Each group presents its case prayerfully, with Scripture and reasoning.

The facilitator leads the group to prayer, then asks: “What decision most glorifies God and best aligns with our mission?”

Work toward a unified decision that all elders will support publicly.

Debrief Questions:

Did we keep the discussion mission-centered or budget-centered?

How did we model humility and listening?

How can we communicate decisions to the congregation in a way that builds trust and faith?

PeaceFire Insight

Organizational pressure often reveals hidden idols of security, control, or fear. Elders who frame financial conflict as a discipleship opportunity can guide the church to depend more deeply on Christ’s sufficiency.

Appendix B. Case Studies for Elder Training

A Workshop Module for Elder Boards

Introduction for Facilitators

These case studies are designed to help elder teams practice conflict navigation in a safe, guided environment. They combine real-world church scenarios with biblical reflection, PeaceFire insights, and practical exercises.

How to use these case studies:

• Assign a facilitator to guide discussion.
• Read the scenario aloud.
• Reflect on the biblical considerations provided.
• Work through the guided questions as a team.
• Engage the role-play exercise to practice applying principles.
• Debrief afterward: What worked? What was difficult? How did we keep the gospel central?

Goal: Not simply to “solve” the conflict, but to train elders to respond in ways that glorify God, disciple the church, and model reconciliation.

Case Study 1: Doctrinal Dispute

Scenario:
A member begins teaching in a small group that Christians must obey Old Testament food laws to be faithful. Some members are persuaded, others alarmed.

Biblical Considerations:

• Galatians 5:1 — Stand firm in gospel freedom.
• Acts 15 — Jerusalem Council clarifies Gentile believers not bound by the law.
• Romans 14 — Disputable matters handled with love.

Guided Questions:

• Is this a gospel issue or a secondary matter?
• How do we correct error gently while restoring the member?
• How can we disciple the whole church through this?

Role-Play Exercise:

• Assign one elder to act as the member teaching the food laws.
• Two elders role-play approaching the member with humility and Scripture.
• Practice clarifying the gospel of grace and inviting correction.

Case Study 2: Leadership Tension

Scenario:
Two elders disagree sharply about whether to expand the budget to hire a youth pastor. They begin lobbying members outside meetings.

Biblical Considerations:

• John 17:21 — Unity in leadership reflects God’s mission.
• Matthew 18:15 — Address conflict directly.
• Proverbs 15:22 — Decisions are strengthened by counsel.

Guided Questions:

• How should elders handle heated disagreements in meetings?
• How do we prevent gossip and lobbying?
• How do we discern between faith-filled risk and wise caution?

Role-Play Exercise:

• Two elders role-play the opposing sides.
• One elder acts as mediator/facilitator.
• Practice: present arguments, pause for prayer, and work toward consensus.

Case Study 3: Cultural Divide

Scenario:
Older members demand traditional hymns; younger members push for contemporary worship. Frustration grows, and worship becomes a battleground.

Biblical Considerations:

• Ephesians 4:4–6 — One Lord, one faith, one baptism.
• Romans 14:17 — The kingdom is not about style, but righteousness and peace.
• Philippians 2:3–4 — Count others more significant than yourselves.

Guided Questions:

• Is this about doctrine or preference?
• How do we affirm both traditions without losing unity?
• How can this be reframed as a discipleship moment?

Role-Play Exercise:

• One elder plays a traditionalist, another a contemporary advocate.
• A third elder acts as mediator.
• Practice guiding the conversation toward humility and unity in Christ.

Case Study 4: Personal Offense

Scenario:
A longtime member was hospitalized, but elders didn’t visit. Feeling overlooked, she begins spreading her hurt through gossip.

Biblical Considerations:

• 1 Peter 5:2–3 — Shepherd the flock with care.
• Proverbs 16:28 — Gossip separates close friends.
• Matthew 18:15 — Address issues directly.

Guided Questions:

• How should elders respond with humility?
• How do we acknowledge failure without excusing gossip?
• What systems can prevent this from happening again?

Role-Play Exercise:

• One elder plays the hurt member.
• Two elders role-play listening, apologizing, and redirecting to reconciliation.
• Debrief: Did the response model humility, care, and accountability?

Case Study 5: Organizational Pressure

Scenario:
The church faces a budget shortfall. Some elders argue to cut missions giving; others push for staff cuts. Anxiety spreads in the congregation.

Biblical Considerations:

• 1 Corinthians 4:2 — Stewards must be faithful.
• Matthew 28:19–20 — The church’s mission remains central.
• 2 Corinthians 8:2 — Generosity in poverty reveals faith.

Guided Questions:

• How do we balance financial prudence with mission?
• What message do our financial decisions send about our trust in God?
• How do we communicate decisions in a way that builds trust?

Role-Play Exercise:

• Divide into two groups: one argues for cutting missions, the other for reducing staff.
• Assign a mediator.
• Practice presenting cases, pausing for prayer, and reframing the decision as stewardship for God’s mission.

Facilitator Notes

• Keep sessions gospel-centered — remind elders the goal is reconciliation, not victory.
• Encourage elders to acknowledge their own part before critiquing others.
• After each exercise, ask: “Did we glorify God? Did we keep the gospel central? Did we disciple through conflict?”

Appendix C. Elder Meeting Resources

Elders carry dual responsibilities: shepherding the flock and overseeing the church’s organizational life. Too often, meetings are dominated by budgets, property, or policies, leaving little time for prayer, discipleship, or conflict resolution. These resources are designed to help boards keep the gospel and the flock at the center of their gatherings.

1. Expanded Sample Elder Oversight Meeting Agenda

1. Scripture & Prayer (20 minutes)

Begin every meeting by reading Scripture aloud together.

Choose passages that frame the board’s responsibilities (e.g., Acts 20:28, 1 Peter 5:2–3, Ephesians 4:1–6).

Invite each elder to pray briefly, seeking humility, unity, and wisdom.

This time sets the tone: the meeting belongs to Christ, not to personal agendas.

2. Shepherding Review (30 minutes)

Share updates on members under each elder’s care (districts, small groups, or ministries).

Pray by name for specific individuals and families.

Discuss pastoral needs: hospitalizations, counseling situations, spiritual growth opportunities.

Celebrate answered prayers and testimonies of growth.

3. Conflict Review (20 minutes)

Review ongoing disputes or reconciliation efforts in the congregation.

Assess progress: Is Matthew 18 being followed? Has repentance occurred?

Identify where elders need to intervene with prayer, presence, or mediation.

Always approach this time as a gospel opportunity, not as a list of problems.

4. Spiritual Health Check (20 minutes)

Evaluate the church’s discipleship, doctrine, and mission alignment.

Questions elders might ask:

Are members being discipled and growing in maturity?

Is teaching biblically faithful and Christ-centered?

Are we actively pursuing mission and outreach, or becoming inward-focused?

This section helps ensure oversight is proactive, not only reactive.

5. Governance Items (20 minutes)

Address budgets, facilities, staffing, and policy issues.

Assign clear action steps to deacons, committees, or staff where appropriate.

Keep discussions efficient — stewardship matters, but it must not eclipse shepherding.

6. Closing Prayer of Dedication (10 minutes)

Recommit decisions, conflicts, and pastoral needs to God’s care.

Pray for unity among elders, faithfulness in oversight, and the Spirit’s guidance in the week ahead.

Note: If time runs short, governance yields to shepherding priorities. The church can survive delayed budget discussions but suffers when prayer, discipleship, and conflict resolution are neglected.

2. Variations for Different Contexts

Small Churches (under 100): Meetings may last 60–90 minutes. Shepherding review may cover nearly every member, but governance items will be fewer.

Mid-Sized Churches (100–300): Meetings may need 2 hours, with shepherding reviews organized by elder “districts” or ministry areas.

Large Churches (300+): Meetings should prioritize spiritual oversight, while governance is delegated to staff or finance/operations teams. Elders focus on prayer, doctrine, mission, and conflict resolution.

3. Meeting Preparation Checklist for Elders

Have I prayed for humility and wisdom before attending?

Do I know updates about the families or members entrusted to my care?

Am I prepared to share honestly about my own spiritual health (Acts 20:28: “take heed to yourselves”)?

Do I have Scripture ready to encourage the board or congregation?

Am I willing to listen more than I speak, seeking unity over preference?

4. Practical Tips for Healthy Meetings

Start and end on time. Respect elders’ schedules to prevent fatigue.

Rotate scripture leadership. Let different elders open with a passage and prayer.

Document shepherding themes. Keep confidential notes (without gossip) to track ongoing care.

Guard the tone. Meetings should feel spiritual and hopeful, not like a corporate boardroom.

Evaluate quarterly. Ask: Are we spending most of our time on shepherding or governance? Adjust accordingly.

2. Unity Covenant Template for Elder Boards

Purpose of the Covenant:
Elder boards are called to shepherd the flock with integrity, humility, and unity (Acts 20:28; 1 Peter 5:2–3). Because leadership disagreements often ripple through the entire congregation, elders must hold themselves to higher standards of accountability. A Unity Covenant provides a shared framework for how elders will handle conflict and model gospel-centered reconciliation.

This covenant is not a legal contract but a spiritual commitment to one another and to the Lord. It should be signed annually as both a reminder and a renewal of shared accountability.

Elders Commit Together To:

1. Pray before debate and seek God’s glory first.

Biblical anchor: “Whether therefore you eat, or drink, or whatever you do, do all to the glory of God.” (1 Corinthians 10:31, WEB)

Why it matters: Prayer re-centers hearts on God’s purposes and disarms pride before discussions begin. Elders agree to seek Christ’s honor over personal agendas.

2. Listen humbly and speak respectfully.

Biblical anchor: “Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.” (James 1:19, WEB)

Why it matters: Humble listening and respectful speech foster trust, even in disagreement. Elders commit to hearing one another fully before responding.

3. Address conflict directly with one another, never through gossip.

Biblical anchor: “If your brother sins against you, go, show him his fault between you and him alone.” (Matthew 18:15, WEB)

Why it matters: Gossip destroys trust and breeds division. Elders promise to bring issues directly to the person involved, not to members of the congregation or side conversations.

4. Support board decisions publicly, even if we disagreed privately.

Biblical anchor: “Obey your leaders and submit to them, for they watch on behalf of your souls, as those who will give account.” (Hebrews 13:17, WEB)

Why it matters: Congregations are destabilized when elders undercut decisions outside meetings. Elders commit to presenting a unified voice, even if their personal preference was not adopted.

5. Pursue reconciliation quickly when tension arises.

Biblical anchor: “Don’t let the sun go down on your wrath, and don’t give place to the devil.” (Ephesians 4:26–27, WEB)

Why it matters: Lingering conflict breeds resentment. Elders agree to address tension promptly, humbly, and biblically, refusing to let small offenses fester.

6. Model confession, forgiveness, and reconciliation for the congregation.

Biblical anchor: “Confess your offenses to one another, and pray for one another, that you may be healed.” (James 5:16, WEB)

Why it matters: The church learns peacemaking by watching its leaders. Elders agree to confess their wrongs, extend forgiveness freely, and seek reconciliation visibly, showing the congregation what it looks like to follow Christ.

Implementation

Annual Renewal: At the first elder meeting of each year, read this covenant aloud together, pray over it, and sign it as a recommitment.

Accountability: If an elder breaks the covenant, others are obligated to address it graciously and directly.

Congregational Witness: Consider sharing a summarized version with the congregation so members know their leaders are committed to gospel-shaped unity.

Unity Covenant Statement (Sample Wording for Signing)

As elders of [Church Name], we affirm our calling to shepherd the flock of God with humility and integrity. We commit to these practices of prayer, respect, direct reconciliation, unity, prompt peacemaking, and modeling confession and forgiveness. We sign this covenant together as an annual renewal of our accountability to one another and to Christ, the Chief Shepherd.

Appendix D. Peacemaking Prayer Guide

For Wisdom: “But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God…” (James 1:5, WEB).

For Unity: “Being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Eph. 4:3, WEB).

For Courage: “Be strong and courageous… for Yahweh your God is with you wherever you go.” (Josh. 1:9, WEB).

For Restoration: “Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness.” (Gal. 6:1, WEB).

For Witness: “By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35, WEB).

Elders can rotate these prayers during meetings, embedding peacemaking into the board’s spiritual rhythm.

Appendix D. Peacemaking Prayer Guide

Purpose of the Prayer Guide:
Prayer is not an add-on to conflict resolution; it is the engine of faithful oversight. Elders cannot shepherd the flock or navigate conflict in their own strength. Through prayer, leaders invite the Spirit to soften hearts, provide wisdom, expose idols, and bring reconciliation.

This guide offers themes, Scriptures, and sample prayers that elder boards can use in meetings, retreats, or personal devotion.

1. Prayer for Wisdom

Scripture Anchor:
“But if any of you lacks wisdom, let him ask of God, who gives to all liberally and without reproach; and it will be given to him.” (James 1:5, WEB)

Sample Prayer:

Lord, we confess that our own understanding is limited and often clouded by pride or fear. We ask You for wisdom from above — wisdom that is pure, peace-loving, gentle, and full of mercy. Guide our words, decisions, and tone so that we glorify You and not ourselves.

2. Prayer for Unity

Scripture Anchor:
“Being eager to keep the unity of the Spirit in the bond of peace.” (Ephesians 4:3, WEB)

Sample Prayer:

Father, we are one body under one Lord, one faith, and one baptism. Yet our differences can divide us. Bind us together by Your Spirit. Help us to seek unity not by ignoring truth, but by living in humility and love. May our unity be a witness to the world that Jesus is Lord.

3. Prayer for Courage

Scripture Anchor:
“Haven’t I commanded you? Be strong and courageous. Don’t be afraid. Don’t be dismayed, for Yahweh your God is with you wherever you go.” (Joshua 1:9, WEB)

Sample Prayer:

Lord, conflict often makes us fearful — afraid of rejection, of making mistakes, or of facing hard truths. Give us courage rooted in Your presence. Remind us that You go before us and that Your Spirit equips us. Help us to step into difficult conversations with confidence in Christ, not in ourselves.

4. Prayer for Restoration

Scripture Anchor:
“Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness; looking to yourself, so that you also aren’t tempted.” (Galatians 6:1, WEB)

Sample Prayer:

Gracious God, we long to see broken relationships healed and wandering sheep restored. Give us gentleness as we confront, humility as we confess, and mercy as we forgive. May every act of discipline be filled with grace, and every step toward reconciliation reflect the heart of Christ.

5. Prayer for Witness

Scripture Anchor:
“By this everyone will know that you are my disciples, if you have love for one another.” (John 13:35, WEB)

Sample Prayer:

Lord Jesus, we know that the world is watching. May the way we handle conflict display Your love and truth. Guard us from bitterness, selfish ambition, and division. Let our reconciliation shine as a testimony that You have made peace through the blood of Your cross.

6. Suggested Use in Meetings

Opening: Pray for wisdom and unity before any agenda begins.

Middle: Pause after conflict-related discussions to pray for courage and restoration.

Closing: Dedicate decisions to God and pray for the church’s witness.

Litany Option for Elder Meetings:

Leader: “Lord, make us instruments of Your peace.”

Elders: “Where there is conflict, let us sow reconciliation.”

Leader: “Where there is pride, let us sow humility.”

Elders: “Where there is hurt, let us sow forgiveness.”

All: “For Yours is the kingdom, the power, and the glory, forever. Amen.”