Video Transcript: What about Accountability Questions?

Henry - We are back, and now we're going to talk about accountability Bible  studies, right?  

Steve - And as we go through this, we're going to go through some basic  accountability questions. You can make your whole bible study about this, so it's  like an accountability group, or you can add accountability questions to your  Bible study, regardless of what you're following, right? Yeah, I went, you know,  we're gonna go through 20 Questions, and when asked all 20 Questions every  time you meet, you might pick one. You might cycle through some of these. If  you're doing that concept of like,  

Henry - sort of a life coach minister, you're keeping goals before people, and  you're not telling them the goal they should do putting on them. Think about Yes. 

Steve - All right, so Hebrews 10:24-25 and let us consider how we may spur one another on toward love and good deeds. Stop spurring. I don't always like to get  spurred, right? I mean, the analogy here is, you know, you're riding a horse, and  to get the horse going, you have these little pointy things. You kick them in a  

side, or they go, and it's, it's sort of a challenge. I guess it's really challenging.  

Henry - Well, inertia is to just stay right. Put, yeah. Don't grow right with God  even right.  

Steve - So the mother Eagle kicks the eagle it out at some point, like you got to  learn how to fly. So we need a little bit of spurring in our lives, not giving up,  meeting together. Some are in the habit of doing so, the habit of a group. Yeah,  okay, because the default setting is to isolate, right? Because, oh my God, the  Bible study tonight, it's Friday, and I forgot about it, and now I was gonna go with somebody, you know. So it's like always. We, lot of times we want to be free to  do whatever. But when we're free to do whatever, our lives become a mess,  right? We do nothing or trouble or idleness. So we need, we need to meet  together. And this is small groups. This is church services. Someone once told  me this illustration, he said, Okay, you have a fire, and then you take one of the  embers and you move it a foot away from the fire, and what happens to the  end? Yeah, it goes out. So we need the connection to other people. So we need  their challenge, okay, and some are in the habit of doing but encouraging one  another, and all the more as you see the day approaching. So both of those  things, we need challenge and we need encouragement. And the following  questions that we're going to look at are some good questions that you can ask  in a Bible study, or even if you just had an accountability group, right? 

Henry - So these are tools for you all to do well, and no matter what type of  Bible study or you can just do this alone. But we're saying it's kind of neat if you  pick a Bible study method and then salt and pepper it with a little accountability.  Yes. Okay, so let's look them all right.  

Steve - So here we go. Number one, what are the greatest challenges you have  been experiencing. What are the greatest choice?  

Henry - Okay, that's to remember when we did the serendipity Bible. Yes, i This  reminds me of the great benefits that we had in the serendipity Bible, where it  had the Bible pastors, they have really all these, like, big accountability  questions that went along with it, right for that style.  

Steve - So what are the greatest challenges, what challenges you face here?  

Henry - Well, my, some of my biggest challenges right now are, I mean, I mean  personal, family. Is there going to be a free ministry training option for the world,  and will it be supported by those who participate with it? And will it be  sustainable beyond our generation into the next generation, and Abby's  generation and that next, I mean, to me, the big challenge of being our age is  passing the baton on to the next generation. That is a I feel that, and perfectly,  

Steve - you have this pretty grand challenge.  

Henry - Yeah, I'm thinking about it. And now the greatest joy are the incredible  impact that  

Steve - well, we had a conference a couple weeks ago, and testimony after  testimony, it was horrible, just how well people are doing. So it can be a grand  thing. It might be a little thing like, you know, one challenge that I have is doing  this class. Yeah, you know, we came. In here, someone had done some of it.  And we got about halfway through the last presentation, and we realized it  wasn't recording, yeah, because the thing wasn't attached. So little things that  happened exactly that's amazing, all right. Number two, how is your walk with  God been since we last met? Have you been experiencing the abundant life,  experiencing His presence, drawing on his wisdom and strength. So now this  question is because you can go to a Bible study. We mentioned this in the last  session. You can go to a Bible study and learn about Galatians or whatever  book you're studying, and never have a walk with God. 

Henry - And there's another, often authentic discussion. I mean, I've had it in  early ministry, where we've been doing Bible studies and and we would be doing

on these Bible studies, Steve and and under our nose was someone absolutely  far from God and struggling like ever but when we talked about the topic, that  person looked as if they were all together, but they were not all together.  

Steve - I remember when we first started out with the serendipity Bible. We had  our group reading and we had a study, and this person's husband didn't come,  and so we were trying to hold him, Where is he? Well, he was right with this. We started asking him, well, how's your Bible reading going in your personal life, in  your marriage? And all of a sudden, she just burst into tears. My husband's back on cocaine.  

Henry - Yeah, it's like so and yet, and that happened for a while, so she had  been coming, right? It looked like she was put together, but the truth was, right,  she wasn't, until we faced some of these accountability questions, that's  powerful, right?  

Steve - Number three, have you been spending consistent time with God on a  regular basis in prayer and Bible reading? Have you what have you gained in  this time? How is God speaking to you? What are you reading and studying in  

addition to your quiet time that is deepening your relationship with God? So I'm  reading a book on John Calvin right now, really, yeah, it's by Thea Van Halsema. This was John Calvin, and she goes into his personal life. And John Calvin is  known for his institutes, his theology very deep, but most people don't know the  struggle that he had in his life and how faithful he was, and his marriage and  family and the city that wanted to put him under and, I mean, it was just, you  know, reading about his personal life, really, you know, helped me feel some of  the things that he would say in his theology book. So that's so if someone asked me that question, it gives me a chance. Yeah, this is what I'm doing. Now, other  people are listening, going, well, what am I reading? I'm not reading anything.  I'm not doing anything. And then they might be, they might feel challenged.  

Henry - Well, when you said that, I mean, I'm like, dug in right now on the early  church. That's my, sort of, my theological but then I'm reading books. I mean, we just went through the madness of crowds written by a gay atheist, and it  challenged us to really in the whole time we're talking about the Lord, we're  talking about what's being said, and all of these things here in that critical Grace  theory class came out of that whole journey over what's the word of God say.  How does that all work? In some ways, it's that question. How is God speaking  to you, and when you have that accountability in the sense you and I and our  wives now for years, have had a small group going, and we ask these questions every week, so maybe we would not want to be in our group like but, you know,  times we love it, though, 

Steve - sometimes it's challenging, right, right? Okay, you're gonna challenge  me. Am I? Am I walking with God? Well, I didn't do it at all last week, right? Last  week, and it feels kind of heavy because you're challenging me, but it's also  encouraging, because it gives you a chance to share some of the things that  God is doing in your life. If God just did some incredible thing, we have nowhere  to go with it. All of a sudden, the group is coming to you and saying, Well, tell us  all about it, and we want to hear what God is doing. So it's very encouraging to  have a group of people that actually cares what you think.  

Henry - One thing that happened last week, we were getting spiritually  attacked. Last week, you stay overnight, and we had this day where everything  went wrong here at Christian leaders Institute. I mean everything. I mean even a ladder fell on Steve. I mean, it was really bad. And there was a problem with the  taping that we could not figure out. And and it was like after Mitch left, this is  three o'clock. He was working all day. We just after quick dinner. We just kept  fighting the fight. And finally, around quarter to nine, you figured some fix, and  we still don't know why it works, but it works. But you know, then that night, after  we actually did a few tapings, okay, so then we, then we were sort of winding  down, and then we are sharing YouTube video. Be with each other that meant a  lot to a spiritual different peoples with songs, yes, different songs of why they  made a difference. You know,  

Steve - it's an encouraging time. Number four, in what ways have you stepped  out in faith since we last met, met, given your testimony, or since God's activity.  Powerful question, we better keep going, or else we're gonna make too long.  Number five, what has been your greatest disappointment since we last met?  Yeah, and how have you handled it? Maybe it's something in your personal life.  Maybe it's something in your marriage. Maybe it's something at work, but, but do people have these kinds of things happen in a week?  

Henry - Oh, they do. And I think too, sometimes when you first start these types  of groups, people are much more safe. Like, you know. They'll say things like,  you know, I'm finding that my quiet time is not what I want it to be. Yeah, big  thing. And then it'll come, you know, then after they get to know you a little bit,  they go like, you know, I only read the Bible, wonderful. Okay, now they're telling you more, but then they'll even get into, you know, I, right now, am bitter toward  God, yeah, I don't want to hear I don't want to hear right, or I'm afraid to hear it  right. All of these things start coming. It's just really powerful to get that group.  Now we always like to say the downside, be careful. You can get such a close  group that you are a closed group you never you know, so while these  accountability questions are there, always be mindful the fact, you know, it's like,

sometimes we've had this thing golf where we play with buddies who tell every  story about every golf course they ever played before we ever were members of the club or members of the kind of golf group. Okay? So then it's like, oh, you  know, everybody likes that story because they have this shared experience so,  and that is probably, and just sort of introducing this now in the middle randomly, but as you do accountability, always be aware that not everybody will have the  same level of trauma, right?  

Steve - And we'll talk more about how you handle some people want to  dominate at this kind of thing that right? They want to turn your group into their  personal counseling. So we'll talk all about how to manage that going all right.  Number six, is there any hatred, bitterness, Spite, resentment or unforgiveness  in your heart toward another person? Have you gossiped about any person or  situation like, no, not me, no way. I mean, maybe you. But sometimes, when we  catch each other gossiping, right, something will always one of us will say, that's  not gonna play well on the big screen. Yeah, we do okay, like that. Number  seven, how have you managed your tongue right, sharp, unkind or said things  you should not have said to anyone? Have you used language that is  inappropriate, swearing, laughing at inappropriate jokes? Have you  compromised your integrity in any way by your speech? Number eight, you  okay, we better come back to that. How have you served others since we last  met? What were your motives, attitudes and serving? So yesterday, a bunch of  us, pickleball people. There's a guy who got ALS like three years ago, and now  he's in a wheelchair, and we all went over there, we honked our horns, and we  have little gifts and what have you. So that's what we do. Yeah. Number nine,  have you procrastinated on important things in your daily life and spiritual walk  that you should that should not be put off, right? Number 10, can you get rid of  our picture here. How are you spending too much time at work or in other  activities at expense of your family, others and your spiritual life? Have you been spending good quality, quantity and quality time with your spouse, children,  mother or father? What have you done since we last met to enhance your  relationships? Are you praying together? Right? So you see, all these questions  are just general, right? How's it going with your family? How's it going to your  marriage? How's it going and these are the things that people don't ask, right?  Number 12, are you giving to the Lord's work financially. Have you missed  misuse your finances by buying things you don't need at the expense of your  tithe or other responsibilities? Number 13, have have you access, access  internet sites, watch movies or television, which are inappropriate? Appropriate  that would have grieved the Holy Spirit, had had a negative impact on someone  else, detracted from your testimony or hindered your spiritual walk. This is  probably a big one, right? Bigger than probably we all would imagine a TV Yeah. And so here's the problem, sometimes questions are so personal, you know, 

you know, some people may sort of answer it, but there's a hint of an answer.  And then, as a leader, you might want to pursue it, but maybe you don't,  because this isn't a group of 10, and all of a sudden it's getting way more  personal for the group of 10, and maybe the group of two would be better. So  that's where a little bit of discernment as you as a leader, you might say, Hey  Bob, thanks for sharing. And then afterwards, you say, Hey Bob, let's go out to  dinner and we'll have a little coffee someplace, and we'll talk about these things,  because not everything is maybe for the whole group well.  

Henry - And I think sometimes there's even the gender group, if you've got a  group of men, yeah, and you guys know each other, a question that should be  regularly asked, Is anybody visiting any porn site? Is anybody visiting? I mean,  because there are gender sins that are more appropriate, and to get to that  place where there's clarity about that and trust in, you know, and you know the  fact is, is that when in our world, where it's very private internet, you're alone,  and whether it's men or whether it's women, there is the devil is there doing  what the devil does to try to get you isolated, like this lone wildebeest getting  attacked by the roaring lion, right? And, but if you can be together on this, right,  you know it helps, will you? Will you be totally perfect on everything? Probably  not, but to be in a group and keep these questions is huge, huge.  

Steve - So some of these questions are really designed for real accountability  group, right? Might be only like three people, and that's related to this one too,  right? So have you committed any sexual sin and did you have improper  thoughts about the opposite sex? Has your thought life been pure? Are you  wrestling with any sexual sin temptation? Have you put yourself in an awkward  situation with the opposite sex, right?  

Henry - And some of these things too, also are changing. You know, we have  different manifestations of sexual sins coming today. You know, same sex  understandings and everything where, you know, we have a very much  fragmented world, and we have a mini class on What Does the Bible Teach  About Sex God design for sex. And I just got done editing, and it's going to be or you by your watch. But I mean, it doesn't really bring a lot of those questions,  God design and the questions have kind of been locked along those lines are  very important.  

Steve - Now you can see some of these questions are extremely personal. And  these might not be the ones that you would throw into a group of 10. You know,  if you're meeting with a mixed group husbands and wives, right? So on, these  might be a little too I mean, what husband is going to say? Yeah, I'm struggling  with porn right now, and he's not even said that to his wife. Yeah, they're sitting 

there in this group. So if you have an accountability group of like, one or two of  same sex that decide, hey, I need to be then it's totally appropriate, right?  There's a lot of trust that's been built up among the three, and then someone  might be willing to do this. So you can see some of these questions might apply  to a group of 10, right? But other others probably is a group of two or three or  even, personally,  

Henry - I think we pick on the sexual thing because of the way everything is so  set up. Really leads to a lot of problems. People are not getting married when  they're young anymore, whereas now people are going to get more older. I think  that the internet so forth. But there's also these accountability questions can be  put in all the seven deadly sins, yeah, you know, have you been admitting any  gluttony? However you do it on that Yes. Is your lust for food growing or or, you  know, and you can go, you can do the same thing about money. Have you been, you know, like in certain traditions, you can, like, be greedy, and it can look like  three, right? So all of these topics of the machinations of the human heart can  be put into, like, the Bible study in Florida, there's a lot of businessmen there, so they have to be reminded about, you know, greedy motives, right?  

Steve - Okay, number 15, have you used or abused any substance as an  escape instead of casting all your cares about you have food, alcohol, drugs,  excessive caffeine, etc? you know some of the things you already mentioned,  yeah. 16, are you taking time to exercise your body? Are you eating Are you  your eating habits healthy? Are you taking time for rest and relaxation? Is there  excessive stress in your life, and how are you handling it? Right? 17, is there  anything you are hiding or something else you need to be accountable, for  which I did not ask you. So letting people write their own accountability. 18  overall, does the external you and the internal you match? Are you lead? Are  you leading with your life? In other words, yeah, are you? You're projecting one  thing. But is that a reality? Are you hiding things well?  

Henry - And I think that that's really a good point. I would rather be the  transparent person who who I am is who I am between before you and God,  than to be phony baloney, right? You know, in fact, that that's one thing probably  nice about having 30 plus years of accountability with you, and I don't think  there's very much that well, and I think that's really insane with our wives, right?  And you know, like, I would rather know my wife struggles in hers, even the  sword, worst of them, right? And to live life alone in some hiding place where  you're projecting one thing, and there's an aspect of your life that is hidden apart from, right? You know, I think in the end of the day, you know, we all have a  journey, but I want to walk with somebody in that journey, rather than try to figure it out alone. Right? 

Steve - Good point, all right. Number 19. There's 19 here. We're still going, what is your what is your number one need in the coming week? And how can I pray  for you? That's like bringing us back that we're not landing the plane again. We  go flying. Have you spent time with or talked with anybody that could have, that  could have been misinterpreted as something unholy? Have you endeavored to  

avoid the appearance of evil? All of these things are so these, and you can  actually write your own these are just, in a way, starter questions. And of course, you wouldn't ask all these questions. It'd be a five hour meeting. So you pick  and choose what you're going to answer. And sometimes you can let people in  the group decide on what they're working on, right? You know, what do you want to be held accountable for? Well, I'm trying to lose weight. I'm trying to I have a  habit of swearing, and I just want to get rid of it. I was raised with it, and I do. I  don't want to do it, but I'm stuck doing it, and so this is what I want to work in, or  or someone's struggling to actually read the Bible, or read it, or whatever it might be. And then, as a leader, you'd write these things down, and then make sure  that you hold them accountable. And holding accountable is not just challenging. Did you do this? Or did you look good? No, it's celebrating. Yeah, I didn't know.  This week, great job. That's three more times than you did this last week. I know your goal was seven, but you did three in the week before you did zero. So good job. You're on the right track.  

Henry - So that, I think that part, part of grace, is really important  encouragement. Because we have little phrases. It's all worse than we originally  thought. 30 years we have other things we think about the graces like the devil  gets in there when, when someone gets so beaten down and they just think,  whatever. I don't care Exactly. The other thing I noticed about these questions is  the theological concept of, what do you say from? And where is Jesus Lord in  your life? And where does he need to be Lord of your life? More so in a sense,  we have this powerful theological like in we reflect on some passages from like  the apostle Paul. The apostle Paul transparently said that he has a thorn in the  flesh, a messenger of Satan. And then he says, when I am weak and I am  strong, but it's that transparency, that we're the power and the weakness we  don't have. We have not arrived, that we do hunger for heaven. We hunger for  the Lordship of Christ, not to make us feel guilty about something, but to make  us whole. And it's we don't have no we have no shame in this new garden of  Eden of redemption, where we can come out of the bushes and not feel naked,  even though some of the acts that we do that reflects the old clothes, we want to take them off and get to where Christ in us is the hope of glory. 

Steve - So you absolutely need a sense of grace and a group where no one's  going to admit any Right. Right? You're not going to be able to hold anyone  accountable for anything right, because it's not a safe place for them to be.  

Henry - One more thing as you're in. The training here. One of the things we  really like about the licensed clergy is the confidentiality that you have that  you're expected to but it's a good standard. So a lot of these questions are really sort of one on one questions, like Steve mentioned, you can hear, Ooh, there's a one on one moment here, and there's where, like, I've done that, like, you know,  as a minister, I'm, I, you know, I have confidentiality in here. I'm and you just say that they go, I heard you mention sort of a struggle. Did you want to go further  with that? Know that it's just between God, you and I, and in we have this  confidentiality thing as a minister.  

Steve - And even in a group, a group of 10 should be one of the rules. Oh, yeah. But we say in this group, stays in this group, unless someone wants others to  know,  

Henry - right? So let's call it level of confidentiality group level, yes, but there is  a higher standard on you as a minister, right? In fact, you can be get in many  places. United States is one of them, you will. You are not expected to testify  against somebody in court. If a parishioner came to you and said that they are  coming to you in confidentiality, to confess with sin or everything, you cannot be  put on trial to incriminate the person you know, but I think that's an awesome  responsibility, and we have that at the Christian leaders alliance in the ordination process. This is some ordination you get in the mail or whatever. It's a process,  and then you are expected to be held to that standard. All right, very good till  next time.