Video Transcript: How to Manage a Bible Study Group for Success - Part 1

Henry - I cannot believe that we're this far. Here we are in the last session in  this mini course. In many ways, we're saving some of the best material for the  last session, especially if you are a serious Minister leader and want to create a  movement of leading in small groups. The management issue, yeah, it's critical.  It's  

Steve - so you know, the Bible is really the Bible study, in some ways, is the  easy part, if you do this management part, correct? Because people are so  different, no group is ever the same. There's always a management issue, and  so we're going to go over some of the things that you can do. So first of all, you  might want a coordinator. Now, this could be the Bible Study leader as well. Or,  you know, in my case, it was often my wife who gravitated towards these kinds  of things where she left, sort of the teaching part and leading the study to me,  so, but it might be someone in your group. It might be you. It doesn't matter. But  the kinds of things that a coordinator keeps track of the schedule, you know,  maybe you meet every Friday, but then, you know, half the group can't meet that Friday. Somebody has to, you know, text or email, and try to figure out, you  know, in logistics, as to where, you know what participants, who's on the list,  keeping everyone informed. Maybe there's a prayer, you know, email that goes  around because one of the group members is in the hospital. So there's all  these kinds of or food. You know, if you're going to have food at your meeting.  How are we going to do that? What? How? What are we going to bring? Who's  going to bring? What I mean now, this is not my forte, so I don't even know what  things are. That is  

Henry - like we go traveling internationally or the people on that, I feel like this  goes to me sometimes,  

Steve - so, but you don't have to be good at it, because someone in the group  is and if you're not very good at it, and you're trying to make it happen, you'll  make such a mess of it that the person that really knows what they're doing will  step to the step to The front. But it, I think it's, it's needed, okay, the Bible Study  leader, you, you know, I think, you know, I think when I started out my ministry, I  had this sort of pie in the sky notion that we will all just be here and we'll just all  lead the Bible study together. And, you know, I'm no better than you, and we're  all comrades. We're all comrades together, learning the Bible and taking our  turns, right? But sometimes we would take turns, okay, Bob, it's your turn to  lead. And you know, Bob wasn't a leader, and it just stressed him out, and it  didn't go well. It didn't go well for Bob. It didn't go well for the people. So you  need somebody that steps to the front and says, Look, I'm going to take on this  that doesn't we'll talk about what a leader does, right? But you still need a  leader. I think another thing that you really have to set up ahead of time if you're 

going to do a Bible study, and often I didn't do that either, right? I just did a Bible  study, which means that I would do things with the assumption of how I do it. But that doesn't mean everyone else knew what my assumptions were,  

Henry - and on this too, it's better to preempt this than to do it in real time to  actually say it okay. So we're going to do a Bible study. Let's talk about rules of  engagement. If people don't even think about it, then you cannot use these rules of engagement to help manage but if you lay them, let's say three weeks or a  month after problems and then add a rule. I know why they did that. I mean, I do you remember  

Henry - stories where it's like you had these rules have come honestly to us.  That's right. These are not rules that we read in the book. This is what we did in  books too, but in a lot of ways, the honest of doing this for 30 years, but you  want to do it before you start the group.  

Steve - In some ways, that's true with parenting or anything, that if you lay out  the rules ahead of time, then when someone breaks the rules, it's easier to  apply discipline personal, yeah, but if you're making up the rules as you go, then it feels they made that rule for me. All right. So number one, you need a safe  place. If you want people to share anything, it has to be a safe place, a place of  confidentiality that someone shares something that they don't hear what they  shared, you know, in the coffee shop next day by someone who was not there.  Right? That's a good way to cut down any sharing. 

Henry - And would you recommend that people sign that a confidentiality? 

Steve - Yeah, you know, why not? I mean, if you really want people to, because, let's face it, people are gossips. It's so easy to gossip. It's so easy, especially  when you have something really cool or something interesting, talking about  gossip like a morsel, yeah, yeah, you can't just eat one, right? It's just. So I think signing is a good way to say we're serious  

Henry - about this, right? And it would communicate to the group. Next level of  safety, right?  

Steve - Number two, honor brainstorm questions. What do we mean by this?  Well, a lot of  

Henry - times, ideas come up where somebody has a really good idea, and  then somebody who doesn't like canoeing says, I don't want to do canoeing. It  could be that they don't want to do canoeing, but if someone and often, that one 

person who never says anything, and they get shot down, and then when they  get shot down, it's over in a crate. So if the rules of engagement we want, and  then maybe you could tell the story. I often do that. I'll tell, like, some like, maybe one of you wants to go skydiving, but you know, and let's say somebody here  really wants to do it, and if you suggest it, let's not all go skydiving, you know,  then you make a joke. Yeah, you're crazy. No, but we want crazy ideas, because you never know.  

Steve - And it's not just things like that is also brainstorming. Is when you're  brainstorming the verse, like when people are trying to say what it means, right? So you have one guy who really knows his stuff and he knows what it means,  and you've got a new person who's like, making their best guess, right? And if  the person making their best guess constantly gets shot down by the person  that everyone knows you're just a new believer, then they're not going to share  anything. They're never going to take a chance. So right? You have to have this  sense, you know, when are we sort of brainstorming and when are we sort of  honing in on what the thing is? So in the beginning, you know, as a leader, allow a little brainstorming, allow people to say something that might not be quite right, but, you know, that's an interesting point. So really 

Henry - we're talking brainstorming about the discussion that I would get,  brainstorming about what the group might do, brainstorming on how to manage  the group, right, right, brainstorming on how to, you know, there always seems  to be some therapy going. I know we're going to talk about that later, right, right,  right, but brainstorming on ideas and just having a curious, right, curious group.  

Steve - If someone came to the group and said, I really would like all your  advice on what to do in this marriage situation that I'm facing, right, and then  someone says something that's, you know, maybe a bit off the wall, and the  leader can either shut that down and go, Well, that isn't going to work, either, or  he could just say, you know, that's an interesting thought. Any other thoughts,  right? Because generally, the right stuff bubbles to the service and the things  that work right sort of drift away. 

Henry - And I think, be careful about the duty language. Oh, I know what you  should do now, yeah, you know, send her roses today, today, don't I send the  roses yesterday? What? What is it gonna  

Steve - number three, no unsolicited. I just actually talked about, yeah, you  should send roses, right? It's, you know, because things will come up and they'll  share, let's say someone shares about the difficulty they're going through in their marriage, and then all the helps people will jump to the rescue and and people 

sometimes just need to share, right? And not always get fixed and not always  have people, and you know, who are you to tell someone else what to do? Now,  let's say you had someone share something, and it's exactly what you've gone  through. If you're going to share at all, it would really best to preface it with, Hey, I went through an experience. If you'd like, I could share it, right? Like, get  permission to give advice, rather, because most people do not do well with  unsolicited. 

Henry - so what? What is unsolicited advice? Is it taking the role I'm your father  or mother, you know? Is it without someone's permission, right?  

Steve - It's literally giving people advice without them asking or giving you  permission to do it. It's unsolicited. I didn't come and ask for it, and now here  you are getting it. And the danger, I've  

Henry - noticed, is for some people who some people receive unsolicited advice very well, other people do not know. And it seems like if you really have a. Hard  time with your father or mother, and then a friend starts taking that role. Right?  The odds, sometimes the walls are put up, or there's a boss, a bad boss  experience or a bad teacher experience. So unsolicited advice is dangerous  thing to get into.  

Steve - And you know, from a coaching perspective, the more you can ask  questions to get them to come up with their own advice. The more likely they're  they're able to follow it. That's very good, very good stuff here. All right,  everyone gets a chance to say something. So this is important, and it requires  some management, because if you have a group of 10 people, there's going to  be three that do a lot of talking, and there's going to be three that don't do any  talking, and then there's going to be the rest who sort of do a little bit of talking  correct and as a as a manager of the group, You especially want those people  who never do any talking a lot of times. They're thinkers, and they have a lot of  good stuff to say, but they're going to need a stage where the talker doesn't  need a stage. He just grabs the microphone and they, you know, say whatever  they want to say. So So trying to give everyone a chance to say something. And  the easiest is just to go around the room. Yeah, you know, Bob, what do you  think? Helen, what do you think? You just go around the room. Number five, you might put this rule, you know, especially if the group is larger, and if you've got  some real talkers that sort of dominate the two minute rule, a lot can be said in  two minutes. 

Henry - Yes, actually, it helps the talkers organize what they're going to say,  right? It helps those who don't talk to know, okay, I'm expected two minutes, I  can handle that. Yes, it is a beautiful role, right, right? Beautiful role six.  

Steve - Anger has no place in the group. So never let things get to such a  degree where people are in conflict, if they are, if they start arguing, and you can see the heat going up. It's like, you know, why don't we let this go? We have a  lot of strong opinions here, and let's just move on.  

Henry - There are topics that breed anger politics. Is one of them, or  controversial Christian doctrine? Yep, you know you can divide a group in a  hurry by talking about baptism. If you know that one group or one section of the  group that you're in is more infant baptism than the other is adult baptism. And  you can or the End Times. You can be a leader who wedges quickly and creates anger.  

Steve - And when people are, you know, discussing things, some people are  incredibly competitive once it gets to that sort of competitive slot where now it's  just a game where I want to win and you want to win, and we're not even  seeking truth anymore right then. And as a leader, you have to sort of gauge that are we drifting into this competitive thing where we're really just using the rest of  the people as our judges and our jury, and we're trying to prove to them that  we're right  

Henry - well, and also to have you noticed the passive aggressive, like, there's  a there's like, a little, there's the discussion that's being discussed, but then  there's a passive  

Steve - aggressive, yeah, you know you're right. You're always right. You're so  educated and you really know your stuff. So that has  

Henry - all of those things that come in. There are examples I've also noticed,  too, where the leader, if they if they're not aware of it, that can get out of control  in a hurry. So anger is the obvious, but there's the path of industry that. How do  you address that? How did you address that when you see it bubbling up early  on?  

Steve - Well, I think the easiest is to get off the topic, right? They're they're  playing tennis, and they're hitting the ball real hard at each other, and then you  just take the ball away. You know, you can do that. You know? I think we've 

talked enough about this particular question, and I think let's move on to  Question four,  

Henry - right, right? One of the things that that I've learned over the years, if it  gets that point in it, and it takes a little like experience work. So we have a Bible  study. And then there are certain people who are going to bring up the political  angle, you know, and then if they don't, so you almost have to make that would  not passive aggressive, but make it fun. Okay, George, you know, they make it  in a way that's fun, and then everybody laughs about it, but it's out of the way, as opposed to people really start in again. Overall, takes experience.  

Steve - Number seven, time schedule will be kept. So it's important, you know,  if your Bible study is an hour and a half, keep it. An hour and a half. Now what  happens is, after an hour and a half on this particular night, some really good  conversation is happening. So you let it go two hours, or you let it go two and a  half hours, and everyone had fun, and it was awesome, and it was great, and  everyone thought the extra hour was definitely worth it, but the next week, three  of them are going to go. Might go long again, and then they stay away. So it's  just knowing, even if it's a good it's been a good time or not, it doesn't matter.  Once people know and are sure of what the time is, then they'll make a  commitment to come every time,  

Henry - every time you know, if you're planting a house church that starts out as  a group, and you're hoping it can become a church, that this becomes so  important, people will make a decision, even if they love everything about your  Bible study, your house church, your church, everything about it, except one  thing is, it goes too long. People will superficially, and then you can say to  yourself, well, if they're that superficial, we don't want them. Or you can say, just  end on time.  

Steve - Yeah, all right, then an agenda. And this is just, you can have any  agenda you want. But here's like a sample one you might you know, people  come together. They meet at first. There's a little bit of talking. They haven't  seen each other in a week or two, right? You might have a formal icebreaker,  some little game that you play, or a question that's real interesting. Okay, you  know, what's the most exciting thing you did this past week? Or whatever it can  be, almost anything, right? And then the Bible study, where you're actually  looking at the word or some book or whatever you're doing, and 30 minutes, it  could be an hour, you can decide how many, how much time you want to give it  to anything. And then you might go with some accountability questions, how's  your walk with God going? How's your family walk with God going? Or someone said, you know, hold me accountable for losing weight. Well, what happened this

week? And whatever that might be, and then some prayer. Now, these are just  suggestions, but having a little bit of an agenda where you know what you're  sort of aiming at, and then how much time you're going to give that and and then having people know that that's how much time we're giving to this. 

Henry - So do you recommend that that the leader sets the agenda and then  just announces it? Or do you, how do you  

Steve - get you can you can do it by hey, here's, I think a leader shouldn't just  say so, what shall we do? And that's a tabula rasa thing, right, right? I think a  leader should spend time thinking carefully about what he thinks would be best.  He puts it out there and goes, here's what I was thinking. What do you guys  think? And you can you can freely eliminate or add or whatever you want to do  and change the numbers, but at least people have something to go off of, rather  than if you start with nothing, you go all over the place, and then you end up in  conflict and all those right? It's easier for people to go off from something, right?  

Henry - So even there, you recommend, like, getting a pre or, like, an  agreement, yes, on what the agenda is before you launch into, like, one week.  Why do you feel so important to have a consistent like I've seen over the years  and made this mistake where all of a sudden I felt like the Holy Spirit in number  two of the agenda. So often that goes long and often we have less Bible study.  

Steve - You know, how do you Well, that's going to happen. And I think, you  know, it's just like a church service, yeah, that, you know, sometimes you have  baptisms and communion and all of that, and they're all in one service. And now  it's going to go half an hour longer. Now, some say, well, whatever, it's important, let's just go a half an hour longer. But if people don't know we're gonna go a half  an hour after that time when it should end, people are not listening. They're  looking at their clocks. Why? Because people they're of habit.  

Henry - I remember in my first church confession time, so we're not telling you  what, I had spent hours and time, and I got it really. I felt amazing group that we  were meeting in one, one of the nights, you know, I just went an hour longer,  and I thought it was such an important topic, and all of these things I was, you  know, in my 20s, early 20s, and I noticed that next week there was happy  attendance, you know, and I was defeated, because I felt like, you know, I had  really studied hard. It was a you know, and then one of the men of the church  said to me, you know, why you did that? Because you. An hour longer. And I  said, Well, what? What do I do? He said, Well, if you call everybody up and  apologize and then restart it, if it really helped. So my pride was hurt, so I didn't  want to do it, but after a while, I did. I called everybody up and apologized, and 

the next week, we had the attendance again, and I made sure that it was done  on a time. And you know, that was a good for a gun Minister, that mentor was  spot on, right? And I needed to learn that, right?  

Steve - And I think, you know, one of the things that a leader needs to do is keep things moving, because you can get bogged down anywhere, oh, and then you  don't get to the agenda, or you go longer, right? So having an idea yourself, and  if people get into this habit, they'll help you. Keep the agenda. If they don't know  the agenda is, then they get healthy. That's very good. Okay, so we need a  leader, okay, but what does a leader do? A leader does not like dominate the  whole thing. A leader creates a stage for the participants to shine. A leader is not the star. The leader helps the members become stars, right? So if you're the  Answer Man, you're the teacher, you're the pastor, that's what a sermon is,  right? But a Bible study is more you know, where people have a chance to say  things, to ask questions and and to, you know, step out of their own comfort  zone, right? Rather than, you know, the leader, yeah, you're capable. You could  do all kinds of things, but you're really trying to help the members do a better  job. Make sure everyone shares, not just a few. That's the default setting if you  go camping with a bunch of people, friends and so on, you're all sitting around  the fire, you'll notice that in the end, it's four people making all the jokes, saying  most everything else and everyone else is just listening. Wow, very good. The  leader helps the conversation go deeper. So people are at this level, but you're  looking for little tells. We'll talk about those in a minute. There might be  something. There might be some gold in there, if we just dig a little deeper.  Okay, and I mentioned this keeps things moving, deals with differing  personalities of the group, and we'll talk about that too.  

Henry - You know, we're going to end this and have another one here, because  we're at the 20 minute. And what I find fascinating about this is this is leadership  stuff that if you don't put it into practice early, it's almost like a group will just  really great in a hurry. So next time, we'll take the next step and take this even  further, right?