Video Transcript: How to Manage a Bible Study Group for Success - Part 2

Steve - All right, we're back part two of managing your group. So the last thing  that a leader does is, I think this is so important make things fun. Okay, you  know, a lot of times, if you watch people interact anywhere. They can be on the  sidewalk, they can be in a store, they can be, you know, at the beach. Doesn't  matter where you go. Within two or three minutes, somebody in the group is  laughing, right? It's just sort of the sort of the grease that that keeps  conversations going and so promote, you know, if everyone is just it's like a  library where everyone's sitting there, no one there say anything, and it's all so  seriously, serious. Then a lot of times people it doesn't create an environment  where there's a sense of community and and if people have a, you know,  meaningful time, but also a fun time, they're more likely to come back again. 

Henry - So really, as we begin, really Part Two here, reminding to create stages  for participants to shine. Make sure everyone shares, not just few, help the  conversation go deeper, keep things moving, deal with different personalities,  group and make things fun. If you look back at these that list, where's that?  Would you feel like, what are, more importantly, all the same or are something  that you have noticed that?  

Steve - Well, I think the first one, maybe they're in the order of importance. I  don't know, but I think this is where a lot of the leaders make a mistake. Is not  thinking. They're thinking leading, right? Which means I've got to know things. I  got to share things you don't know I know. And so here we go. Instead of  thinking, How do I help people walk out of here better than they walked in?  Right? How do I do prayer in such a way that the person that is afraid to pray  publicly feels a little better about doing it, maybe now he can pray in His own  family. Not. Okay, I got to lead in prayer. And how do I make this prayer really  cool and special, you know? How do I bring myself to the next level of prayer?  Okay, that's, that's one thing, but that's your personal growth, right? You know,  the leader is a servant of all right, so how do you help other people become all  that they can be? And you know, Rich DeVos often said to us, if you help people get what they want, you'll get what you want, right? Rather than going out there  and trying to get what you  

Henry - want, I feel I love that everyone too, and I think we're moving, we're  tacking into a culture, in a world that is more participatory. And in some ways,  when you look back to the history of the church, it started very participatory, and  then it went into very programmatic. And by the time of the Reformation, I know  in our background, when I grew up, the minister did everything right. And if he  was leading the Bible study, we call the Catechism, he did everything. And we  were just sitting there in the church, you know, he started from the call to  worship, announced every song, went to the call to confession, the assurance of

pardon. He did it all. He did the prayer. Then he did the congregational prayer.  He did the sermon. A few more songs from there, announcement, collection and  participation with the deacons will come forward to take the money. He even led  the singing. And, you know, half the ministers couldn't sing, right, right? No, you  know? I mean, I think that's right. And it was to the point where it was like he  was the paid implementer of the group, the whole thing, the whole thing, and we pay him to be, the answer, man, we pay him to be, make it apply, and if he could not do all of this, the church suffered, right? But I think that trend, I think I'm just  gonna, like speculate here. I actually believe that much church decline has  turned because that paradigm no longer speaks to the heart of an educated  global population.  

Steve - And the digital world where you post your own pictures, you put your  own thoughts out there. You're you know your life is out there. You you want to  pontificate about something. You put it on Facebook or Twitter or Instagram or  whatever it is. People are used to participating now more and more and more,  and so if they don't get to then they're not they're just not going to attend. So  that's why it's but, but because people want to participate now you have more of a management issue, right? It's easier to just have the pastor do everything, oh,  because you're on Bob and the. You go, and that's it. Now, if there's two people,  now, how are we going to manage or three or four or five? That's when it  becomes more difficult.  

Henry - And this is a debatable point, because there's a certain segment of  group that wants the Minister to do everything, yes, but we believe that the trend is moving where, you know, there might be that, but to fight that a little bit into  creating stages for others, right?  

Steve - All right, dealing with people. Remember, the group that gathers to the  Study Bible is made up of people who still need a savior. In other words, sinners saved by grace. So the very people you create the stage to are not going to be  perfectly trained ministers, right? And you're not a perfect leader, either. So  we're gonna look at certain kinds of people that you might have in a group. You  got the talk always talking has a lot to say. We'll start telling a story that lasts for  five minutes and, you know, generally, doesn't let you have a word in edgewise.  See, it's hard to cut them off, right? Okay, so what do you do? Well, one way is  to go around the circle. Instead of just asking a question in the Bible study and  then leaving it up to whoever wants to ask, even the talkers will grab the  microphone right away, and the non talkers will just sit back and go, Okay, I'm  not going to do this, but if you go around the circle, everyone is going to say  something. You might enlist the two minute rule that, look, we're going to try to  limit everything that we do to two minutes. Now, what will happen is the talker 

will take four, right, and then, if you let him have four, he'll take five, and then  he'll take six, and then he'll take 10, right? So you may have to talk to the talker  one on one and just sort of lay out the vision. And you know, Bob, I know you  have so you're bubbling, so you do it in a respectful manner. Bob, you have so  much wisdom and so many things that you want to, so much stuff that you want  to say that you can hardly contain yourself. So I get it. It's difficult for you, but we only have so much time, and we're this is what I'm trying to do, is try to help the  non talkers. So if you could help me with that. In fact, if a talker models two  minutes, then that inspires everybody else. So he you talk as a talker, you can  really be a leader in this group, right, right? Then you got the needy. Okay? The  needy is someone who comes in, and they always have a million problems, and  they love talking about their problems, and they love people going, Oh, that's too bad, and feeling sorry for them. And it's like, it's almost like a drug, right? They  get a little high from being the center of attention, right? 

Henry - And when you say that, you say that disrespect, no people with pain.  So you're saying it's how it plays in the day, because it's a Bible study group, not a therapy group, right?  

Steve - See, the therapy group, that's the point of it, yeah. And so we can take  the time, but here, if we turn it in, and often, a needy person will then constantly  do this in the group, no one else will share those deep needs, it'll be one person, and now we become this therapy. You know, we're the doctors, and you're the  person who needs all the help. Yeah,  

Henry - you know, I noticed another thing, I'm curious what, how you think  about this. I often, and later on, you're talking about going one one to talk to that  needy person, but to talk in this way is, I asked them, Is this what you want your  future brand to be? And they go like, What do you mean? I just my husband left  me my wife. You know? I said, well, because I noticed that if, if you talk too  much about all of your problems, then people will pigeonhole you with a  personal problem, and eventually you might leave this church, because when  you're well again and healed, then everybody is going to, like, see you as a  problem person, because of the sense you went through an era of your life to be a problem person, right?  

Steve - And you're projecting yourself as a dependent, right? And you can either have a friend or you can be a dependent. So a lot of times, people who project  this dependency thing, and then they wonder why people don't like do things  with them, like they don't have a friend. And I'll do that same counseling thing  and say, Well, if you want that, if you want to be a dependent of that person,  then you're not going to be a friend of that person in general. So you have to 

decide whether you want a friend or whether you want to be a dependent and  so, and people, sometimes they just need to learn that dependency thing is  maybe something they grew up with that this is the only thing they know. And so, but, but, okay, let's go, yeah, so you might go around the circle, you know, so we don't center on only one person. You might enlist the two minute rule, and you  might have the no fixing rule. There you go. True dependent loves the attention  and loves everyone weighing in on right pain. And they feel like, yes, they get a  little Levy. You should, that's right. I think the no fixing rule in general is a good  rule that we're not here to fix people unless they are asking for some specific  advice about something.  

Henry - What if they ask for advice and take a lot, to more than two minutes?  But it's so important, no one else is, I suppose in your next point will probably  come in true. Talk to them one on  

Steve - one, you learn quickly. Thank you. Again. They want to be a leader, so  you're the leader, but there's someone in the group that wants to be the leader,  and a lot of times there's a person who wants to be a leader, but they didn't lead  and get the group together, right? But they want to steal what you did right by  getting the group together, because they know how to lead this group better  than you do. Well, what you can do is refer to the agenda, because someone  will want to keep changing everything. I think we should spend more time on  this. I don't think we should, you know. And again, it's like, well, this is the  agenda, and I suggest we just keep doing this for a while, and maybe at the end of the year, we'll look at it again, right? Talk to the wannabe leader one on one,  because, you know, and I've had to say to people, look, it seems like you want  to lead my group, and I suggest you go get your own group. Yeah, let's, let's  birth a new group. Yes, and you can be the leader. Now, a lot of times that'll shut them down because they don't want to go out. They can't get anyone to follow  them, right? Okay, so that's why they want to steal yours, right? All right, the  teacher, and here's like, suggest things you might say, Bob, you know more than most of us. Can you wait until others have had a chance to say something? In  other words, you honor the person like Bob. You do, right? Clearly, you know a  lot more, but you know, we want to give other people a shot, and then you'll  always have a turn to say what you think at the end, right?  

Henry - And in two minutes, yeah, right.  

Steve - Ask more questions that deal with how people feel than fact based  questions. Usually the teacher wants to you know facts and the background,  and like the NIV Study Bible, they want to read that all to you. And often the fact  that kind of teacher person does not want to share their feelings, right?

Henry - Well, it's like when earlier in the class we talked about like different like  knowledge relating to the text, knowledge related to the context, you know. And  a lot of times the teacher wants to stay in that water, 

Steve - yeah, they don't want to go into the sharing part, where you know,  where your feelings or what you really think, or how it applies to you, right? Talk  to the teacher one on one. All right, then this skeptic, you know, you might have  a person in your group that is, you know, skeptical about the Bible or God or  who knows they're they're on the doubt side of the fence. And a lot of times  Christians when they meet together, we want to always fix the skeptic and give  the skeptic room to express their doubts. Let them say some of the you know,  instead of shutting them down, see if you shut someone down, then they just  internalize it. You never really hear what they really think. And so you can never  say anything that would be helpful for them to get out of their doubt, right? So  give them some space to say. You know, that's really interesting. If someone  said, Well, I'm not sure what the inerrancy of scripture really means. I don't  here's my problem, and then they outline some problems. If the first thing that  comes out of your mind, mind mouth, is some fix for their problem, they're not  going to listen to it. But if you said, Wow, you you really think deeply about these things. That's amazing. Let's we're gonna have to think about that. In fact, if you  said to someone, you know what? That is so interesting that I want to go home  and think research this a little bit, I would like to come back to this topic. Then  you're honoring that person, rather than always, you're wrong. Change your  mind and, you know, we got to fix you. 

Henry - We did a mini class on evangelism, on Genesis. Remember that? Yep,  and that class talks about how Genesis is very dividing to the scientific and  skeptical mind, because, you know, is the earth, young, old in life times, that's a  topic. That's one of those debate topics, right? People feel strongly about many  things, but that's one thing they feel more strong about than something else,  right? So, so in this class, all we are trying to do is not saying you should believe this or that, but give a little room so that the cross of Jesus Christ, and the  resurrection from dead is not standing or falling right, right?  

Steve - If someone has a problem with the age of the earth and that that damns them for all eternity, because we shut the red point, it's like.  

Henry - Yeah, just talk about, and there are in that class, we talk about what our one of our philosophy professors believe that, you know that? Well, Adam isn't.  Adam was the first representative of the covenant. The traditional belief that we  like is that Adam was the first human but his, the philosopher's point was a good

point, because we've witnessed to a lot of skeptics, right, right? And it's just  getting a curious discussion, because ultimately, we want Jesus Christ to be lord and savior of someone's life, right?  

Steve - Resist trying to save the skeptic every meeting you know so people. So  in other words, trust that God will work through His Word and His people in his  time, right? All right? The answer, man or woman, this is the person who  whatever the topic is, whatever the question is, whatever the verse is, they know what it is. They know what it means. They know what we should do. They have  an answer for everything, and they will say it first. Now, lot of times you know,  you know, I do have an answer, yeah. So people in my church will come up to  me and they'll have a question about the Bible or whatever it might be, theology  or doctrine. Now, I could give them an answer, right? Yeah. But then I become  there. I they become dependent on me as their answer. Man, so what I generally do is, you know, that is an awesome question, why don't you research it and  then get back to me next week with what you figured out, right? Because I want  you to do some of the work rather than just rely on me, right? So what do you do with the answer? Man or the woman, well, going around the circle helps,  because everyone has a shot at talking. You enforce the two minute rule. And  here's a here's a thought, maybe it works. Maybe get the answer man to lead  with the rule that the leader does not do the teaching, but only ask the  questions. So now you know, you're so smart, I would like you to maybe lead  next week, but you can only do this because your goal is to create a stage for  everyone  

Henry - else, right? It's almost like the issue of the expert and the issue of the  journey, the curious journey. And I know when I've talked with Answer Man type I talk about, you know that, but I will say that back to the rules of engagement. If  you're not setting this up right ahead of time, the answer man will be offended,  or will take over and or when you try to address it, yeah, then they'll be  

Steve - offended, yeah, if you try to fix it after the fact. So set the expectation  early on. In fact, you might even use that word, hey, yeah, we're not, you know,  we're going to try to eliminate being the answer.  

Henry - Man, I the leader am going to be the first among equals to not try to be  the answer. Man, so that way, no matter what the answer, man, people are,  they're on board with you in trying to keep yourself regulated from being the  answer person, 

Steve - talk to the answer. Man, one on one. It's important to talk one on one,  rather than have this, you know, confrontation in the middle of the group. You  don't want to embarrass someone in the group. 

Henry - And ultimately, it's about the answer. Man, becoming another leader with you, right? So it's discipleship, right? So all of this is not because you're trying to fix the answer. Man, no, you're trying to give a new stage.  

Steve - One of the things you might do with the setting up the rules ahead of  time is that you will be calling each one occasionally, just to talk about the group  and talk about how things are going, talk about things that you might want to  share in the group, so that when you do call it's not like some Oh, I'm being  singled out. No, right? I call everybody right. How to go deeper. Okay, dive in  points. So these are some tells, or these are some sort of things that might  happen that you go, Okay, this might be an area where we can find something  deeper. Okay. So relationships, when people start talking about answers, and  they start talking about their marriage and they start talking about their family or  their, you know, their aunt or their neighbor or something like that, usually there's something there, and they want to share it, but they're just throwing out a little  thing. So if you can sort of follow up on that. So you mentioned about your your  grandmother. You know, can you elaborate a little bit more about your  grandmother? Now you've given them a stage to maybe go a little deeper, right? 

Henry - I know in one of my Bible studies, when that happens, we'll say, Hey,  can you give a minute or two about that? Yeah, even still there, because some  people can go deep and then for the next 15 minutes. 

Steve - emotions. So when people are sad, or there might, there might be a little tear, a little crack in their voice. Boys, there's something deeper there, right?  Nervous laughter. Sometimes people will say something, and then, you know,  they're they're laughing all the time, but it seems sort of inappropriate, right?  Well, that's because they're trying to protect themselves from this hurtful thing  that's lurking beneath the surface. Gotcha, tears, of course, that's an obvious  one. Let people cry. Don't make people feel bad about it. Give them a little  space to do it. And then this seems like it's a touching thing for you, right? Can  you say more about that? And but they'll need a minute to be able to say  anything. Laughter. Sometimes, people that are always laughing making jokes a lot of times again, people will do that make jokes all the time because they're  protecting themselves from going deep. So there's something, there's some hurt there, right? Complaining, people that are complaining about their marriage,  complaining about their boss complaining. I think that does protest too much. I  want to go back real quick on that. Oh, you're so, yeah, keep going. Blaming, 

you know, people always blaming the government, blaming the school, blaming  their boss, blaming the spouse. You know, some people will want will use the  small group as a judge and jury for the relationship they have with their spouse.  They argue, you know, at home about things, and then at this group, do you  see, this is what we were talking about. You see, what she does? This is exact.  This is what I'm trying to do, but, but she doesn't believe so, you know. And now  they want you to, sort of, you know, chastise their spouse, right? Or silence. You know, they're maybe they usually share, but now they're strangely science  silent. So as a leader, you're always observing what's going on in the group, not  just what people are saying, but the body language and right? You know,  someone's sitting there like this. Okay, so what's, what's, what's going on? No,  be careful not to turn your Bible study into a therapy session. 

Henry - Sometimes I ask myself, how can you avoid that? Because in many  times when you really get to know somebody. I've seen it where you do  everything you can. It just seems like that's what the session becomes. 

Steve - Well, it can, and sometimes it just goes there and you follow the Spirit of  God. But if every week it's this therapy session, right? Generally it's going to be  therapy for a few, right? It's not therapy for all the participants. It's therapy for a  few. Then everyone else becomes the therapist, and then us, us seven are the  therapists, and you three are the clients, right? And the group will eventually fall  apart because this is tiring and wearing out, and then the seven aren't getting  much out of it, and so it just you'll kill the group if you allow this to happen.  Because now having a therapy group, some groups will have that group is they  all have the five or they'll have 12 step type groups. And this is why we're here.  This is a Bible study class. Remember, right now, if you had a therapy Bible  study group, okay? And you're meeting because 

Henry - So the agenda would be 20 minutes of therapy. Yeah? 20 minutes that  would be a different purpose, right, right? 

Steve - Okay, be an encourager. Hey, thanks for sharing. You know, don't let  someone just share. Then silence. Wow, that's interesting, insightful, thought  provoking, right? You know, be people, especially for the non talker people, it  takes a lot of courage to say something in a group. Am I going to say it? Right?  

Am I going to be able to get my thoughts out? And then they do it, and then it's  silence, so the leader can just create an atmosphere of encouragement. Can  you say that again? I want to make sure I don't miss anything. It's just so  encouraging when someone notices some insight that you gave that is so  thought provoking. I never saw that in this verse. Now, if you're the smart one in  the group and you say that to somebody, wow, right, that's really good. All right, 

so this is our last verse. This is our last slide, Henry, and it's a good one psalm,  by the way, Psalm 119, longest chapter in the Bible, and every verse is about  the Word of God, right? Thy Word is a lamp unto my feet and a light unto my  path. And so a Bible study, the goal of a Bible study is really to help people get  the light that God has to offer. We're in this world. We're trying to figure things  out. We see the evidence of God, but we don't know exactly what that means or  where it's going, and it's the word of God that brings that light, and having a  Bible study with a group of people is a great way to figure out that light and to  share that light with others. 

Henry - Wonderful.