Video Transcript: Presence With Wisdom: Not Clinging, Not Performing

🎥 Video 4B Transcript: Presence With Wisdom: Not Clinging, Not Performing

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter.

In sports chaplaincy, one of the most important skills is learning how to be present with wisdom—without clinging to the team and without performing for attention.

Here’s the tension:
If you’re rarely around, trust never forms.
But if you are always around, you can become intrusive, dependent, or emotionally entangled in team outcomes.

Wise presence is steady, but it’s also light in its grip.

Let’s start with what “clinging” can look like.
Clinging happens when a chaplain:

• needs constant access to feel valuable,

• becomes offended when not included,

• tries to be “one of the guys” or “one of the athletes,”

• fishes for inside information,

• or acts like the team’s spiritual manager.

Clinging makes ministry about the chaplain’s needs—attention, belonging, identity—rather than about serving the people.

Now, what does “performing” look like?
Performing happens when a chaplain:

• uses public moments to sound impressive,

• turns prayer into a speech,

• makes everything intense,

• posts “ministry highlights” online,

• or tries to be the emotional hero in hard moments.

Performance ministry often feels spiritual on the surface, but it can erode trust underneath.

So what does wise presence look like instead?

Think of three words: anchored, available, and accountable.

First: anchored.
You are anchored in Christ, not in the scoreboard. Your peace should not rise and fall with wins and losses.
When the team wins, you don’t inflate yourself.
When the team loses, you don’t collapse or get dramatic.
You remain steady.

Second: available.
Available does not mean constantly accessible.
It means you are reliably reachable in appropriate ways.
It means people know how to find you and what you can offer.

A wise line to say is:

• “I’m here, and I’m steady. If you want support, I’m available.”

Third: accountable.
You are accountable to leadership and policy.
That means you clarify expectations with the coach, athletic director, chaplain supervisor, or program lead.
You ask questions like:

• “Where do you want me present?”

• “What are the boundaries for locker room, travel, messaging, and minors?”

• “How should I handle an issue that involves safety or policy?”

• “How do you want communication to flow if concerns come up?”

Now let’s get practical with example phrases.

Helpful phrases that show wise presence:

• “I’m grateful to be here. I’ll follow your lead and honor the team’s rhythm.”

• “I won’t get in the way—just wanted to check in and encourage you.”

• “If you’d like prayer, I’m happy to do that. If not, I’m still with you.”

• “You don’t have to carry that alone. Want to talk for a minute?”

• “I can’t promise secrecy if safety is involved, but I will protect your dignity.”

Phrases NOT to say:

• “I know exactly what you need to do to win.”

• “God told me you’re going to start.”

• “Coach is wrong about you.”

• “Tell me who’s causing the problem.”

• “Don’t worry, I’ll fix this.”

• “You can tell me anything—this stays between us no matter what.”

And here’s a major pitfall in sports chaplaincy: becoming outcome-attached.
If you feel like your ministry is “working” only when the team is winning, you’ll drift into pressure, partiality, or favoritism.
Wise presence loves people evenly:
starters and bench,
captains and cut athletes,
coaches and staff,
winners and strugglers.

Finally, a quick boundary reminder:
You are a minister of presence—not a substitute parent, not a therapist, not a compliance investigator, and not the team’s spokesperson.
When you keep that clarity, you last longer, serve better, and protect the mission.

Be present.
Be wise.
Don’t cling.
Don’t perform.
Just keep showing up with humility and peace.