đ§Ș Case Study 1.3: First Visit With a Veteran in a Clinic Waiting Room
đ§Ș Case Study 1.3: First Visit With a Veteran in a Clinic Waiting Room
Case Scenario
You are a volunteer veterans chaplain serving in a community clinic that partners with multiple local agencies. The clinic has a waiting room with steady foot traffic. Some patients are older veterans with mobility issues. Others are younger veterans coming in for follow-up care, paperwork, or referrals.
You are introduced to Mark, a veteran in his late 30s. He is sitting alone, slightly angled away from the room, scanning the hallway. His foot bounces. He keeps his hands folded tightly. His face is neutral, but his body looks tense.
A nurse quietly tells you, âHeâs here for an appointment and heâs been waiting a while. Heâs kind of shut down.â
You approach calmly. Mark glances up, then looks back down at his phone.
You say, âHi, Iâm Haley. Iâm one of the chaplains here. Would it be okay if I sat for a minute?â
Mark shrugs. âWhatever.â
You sit with a respectful distance and open posture.
After a few seconds, Mark says, without looking at you:
âI donât really do the whole âchaplain thing.â Iâm just here to get this appointment done.â
Then he adds, quieter:
âPeople keep telling me I should talk to someone. Iâm fine.â
Beneath the Surface
This first encounter is not about âgetting a deep story.â It is about earning trust.
Possible dynamics at work:
Hypervigilance: scanning, foot bouncing, body braced for threat or conflict.
Distrust of helpers: âchaplain thingâ may feel like pressure, religion, or being analyzed.
Shame/avoidance: âIâm fineâ can be a protective phrase that avoids vulnerability.
Identity protection: veterans may fear being seen as weak, broken, or unstable.
System fatigue: waiting, paperwork, delays, and bureaucracy can intensify irritability or shutdown.
Spiritual distance: he may have faith, may have anger at God, or may have no interestâyour job is not to assume.
Organic Humans lens: Mark is a whole embodied soul. His body language is part of the story. His agency matters. Your care should honor his dignity and choice.
Ministry Sciences lens: Stress often reduces trust and increases defensiveness. Your approach should reduce demand and increase safety.
Chaplain Goals in This Moment
Your goals are simple and professional:
Confirm consent and reduce pressure.
Offer a safe, brief presence without performance.
Use one or two gentle questions that donât demand details.
Clarify role (not therapy, not benefits, not pushing religion).
Offer optional support (listening, brief prayer, Scripture) only by permission.
End with dignity and a next-step option.
What the Chaplain Should Do
Step 1: Confirm role and reduce pressure
A good reply might be:
âThanks for telling me that. No pressure. Iâm not here to push anything. Iâm here to offer support if you want itâsometimes just listening, sometimes a brief prayer if someone asks.â
This communicates: You are safe. You are not a project.
Step 2: Offer choices
Give Mark control over the pace:
âWould you prefer I just sit quietly for a minute while you wait, or would it help to talk about what today is like for you?â
Choice lowers defensiveness and honors agency.
Step 3: Ask a small, respectful question
Keep it simple and non-invasive:
âWaiting can be frustrating. How are you holding up right now?â
âIs today mostly stress, or mostly fatigue?â
âWhat would be most helpful in the next five minutes?â
These questions avoid combat details and avoid prying.
Step 4: Reflect without diagnosing
If Mark says, âI hate waiting. Crowds get on my nerves,â you might respond:
âThat makes sense. Sounds like being here takes a lot out of you.â
You are naming weight without labeling him.
Step 5: Offer optional spiritual support
Only after some trust, and only as an option:
âIf you ever want it, I can offer a short prayer for strength and peace. If not, Iâm still glad to sit with you.â
Step 6: Close with dignity
As he gets called back:
âThanks for letting me sit with you. If you see me again and want a few minutes, just say so. No pressure.â
This is how trust begins.
Sample Phrases to SAY
These phrases build trust and protect boundaries:
âNo pressure. Iâm here if you want support.â
âYouâre in control of what we talk about.â
âYou donât have to tell details to be understood.â
âWould you like me to listen, or would you prefer quiet?â
âThat sounds heavy. Iâm glad you didnât have to carry it alone for these few minutes.â
âIf youâd like prayer, I can do a short one. If not, thatâs completely fine.â
Sample Phrases NOT to Say
These phrases often break trust quickly:
âTell me what happened over there.â
âYou must have PTSD.â
âEverything happens for a reason.â
âAt least you made it home.â
âGod wonât give you more than you can handle.â
âYou just need to forgive yourself.â
âLet me explain why God allowed this.â
âYou should come to my church.â
âI promise I wonât tell anyone.â (Never promise secrecy without limits.)
What Not to Do (Mandatory)
Do not do these in early veteran encounters:
Do not pry for trauma details.
Early curiosity can feel like interrogation.Do not over-thank or perform admiration.
Respect is quiet. Donât turn them into a symbol.Do not preach at pain or rush spiritual solutions.
A chaplain is not a platform speaker.Do not debate politics or current events.
Redirect to the personâs experience and well-being.Do not slide into therapy language or trauma treatment.
You can be trauma-aware without trying to treat trauma.Do not undermine clinic staff or policies.
You are serving inside a system. Stay aligned.Do not promise confidentiality without limits.
If safety concerns arise, follow required pathways.
Boundary Map Reminders
Scope-of-Practice
You are not medical staff. Do not interpret symptoms, meds, or diagnoses.
You are not mental health therapy. Do not do trauma processing protocols.
You are not a benefits/legal counselor. Avoid âhow to win your claimâ advice.
Consent and Agency
Ask permission before sitting, praying, quoting Scripture, or discussing faith.
Respect ânoâ without judgment.
Confidentiality With Limits
Be honest: you keep privacy, but safety concerns may require escalation.
If Mark mentions self-harm, threats, abuse, or imminent danger, follow clinic policy.
Documentation and Team Communication
If your setting requires notes, follow policy.
Donât âfreelanceâ communication. Know who you report to.
Pace and Safety
Public waiting rooms limit privacy. Avoid sensitive questions.
If a deeper conversation begins, ask about moving to a more private location if available and approved.
If the Conversation Turns Toward Crisis
If Mark says, âSometimes I think everybody would be better off without me,â your job changes:
Stay calm.
Take it seriously.
Ask a simple safety-oriented question within policy, such as:
âAre you thinking about harming yourself today?âDo not promise secrecy.
Notify the appropriate staff member immediately and follow the clinicâs crisis protocol.
Reflection + Application Questions
What did the chaplain do in this scenario that helped reduce pressure and build trust?
Write two consent-based opening lines you could use in a waiting room setting.
Which âNOT to sayâ phrase are you most tempted to use when nervous? What will you say instead?
How does the Organic Humans idea of âwhole embodied soulsâ change how you interpret Markâs body language?
What are two ways to stay within scope-of-practice when a veteran is frustrated with the system?
In a public space, what is the wisest level of spiritual conversation, and when should you seek privacy or referral?
What would you do if the conversation turned toward self-harm language in your setting? (List 3 steps.)
What does âpresence without pressureâ look like in your posture, tone, and pacing?
References
The Holy Bible, World English Bible (WEB): Psalm 46; Matthew 11:28â30; James 1:19; Romans 12:15.
Bonhoeffer, D. (1954). Life Together. Harper & Row.
Doehring, C. (2015). The Practice of Pastoral Care: A Postmodern Approach (Revised and Expanded). Westminster John Knox Press.
Litz, B. T., Stein, N., Delaney, E., Lebowitz, L., Nash, W. P., Silva, C., & Maguen, S. (2009). Moral injury and moral repair in war veterans: A preliminary model and intervention strategy. Clinical Psychology Review, 29(8), 695â706.
Pargament, K. I. (2011). Spiritually Integrated Psychotherapy: Understanding and Addressing the Sacred. Guilford Press.
Shay, J. (2014). Achilles in Vietnam: Combat Trauma and the Undoing of Character. Scribner.
Reyenga, H. (2025). Organic Humans. Christian Leaders Press.