Video Transcript: Pitfalls in Crisis: Taking Over, Giving Advice, and “Fixer” Energy

🎥 Video 5B Transcript: Pitfalls in Crisis: Taking Over, Giving Advice, and “Fixer” Energy

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter…

When crisis hits, many well-meaning chaplains feel an inner pressure to do more, say more, and take charge. That pressure can turn into “fixer energy”—and in a hospital, that can harm trust quickly.

This video is about staying grounded: what to avoid, what helps instead, and example phrases that keep you in your role.

1) The three most common crisis pitfalls

Pitfall one: taking over the room.
A chaplain can unintentionally become the director—telling people what to do, where to stand, or how to respond. In the ER or ICU, leadership belongs to the care team, and family members need space to be human.

Pitfall two: giving advice.
In crisis, families often ask questions like, “What should we do?” or “What do you think will happen?” If you answer clinically, you step out of scope. If you answer spiritually with certainty, you may create guilt, confusion, or false hope.

Pitfall three: using spiritual pressure as control.
Sometimes a chaplain tries to “help” by pushing prayer, pushing decisions, or pushing a spiritual interpretation. In crisis, consent matters more, not less.

2) What helps instead: a calmer, wiser posture

Replace “fixing” with three practices:

Practice one: clarify choice.
Give people simple options:
“Would you like me to pray, or would you prefer quiet presence?”

Practice two: validate without diagnosing.
You can name what you see without pretending you know everything:
“This is frightening. It makes sense that you feel overwhelmed.”

Practice three: support the next right step.
Not a big plan—just the next right step:
“Would you like help calling someone to be with you?”
“Do you want me to stay while you speak with the doctor?”

3) Example phrases that work in crisis

Here are phrases that keep you calm, helpful, and in-lane:

• “I can stay with you while things unfold.”

• “Would you like prayer, or would you rather have quiet?”

• “It’s okay to take this one moment at a time.”

• “I’m here to support you—what would help most right now?”

• “I don’t have medical answers, but I can help you ask the team your questions.”

If prayer is welcomed, keep it short:
“Lord, be near. Give peace, clarity, and strength. Hold this family in Your care. Amen.”

What Not to Do

Avoid these crisis missteps:

• Do not interpret the medical situation or speculate about survival.

• Do not promise outcomes: “God will heal,” or “They will be okay.”

• Do not criticize staff or imply spiritual superiority over clinical judgment.

• Do not pressure a family toward a decision, a ritual, or a spiritual response.

• Do not gather private details for curiosity; ask only what serves care and consent.

• Do not turn the moment into a sermon or a debate.

Crisis care is sacred work. Your calling is to be a calm, trustworthy presence—honoring the personhood of whole embodied souls, respecting conscience and consent, and supporting the care team without crossing lines.