🎥 Video 6B Transcript: What Not to Do: Rushing, Mumbling, Turning Away, or Embarrassing the Person

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter.

In this lesson, we are focusing on what not to do when serving adults with hearing, speech, or communication disabilities.

Sometimes the greatest barriers in ministry are not intentional cruelty. They are careless habits.

Someone speaks too quickly.
Someone turns away while talking.
Someone laughs awkwardly when they do not understand.
Someone answers for the person too soon.
Someone gets impatient.
Someone makes the person repeat themselves three times in front of others and then says, “Never mind.”

Those moments may seem small to the person causing them. But they can be deeply discouraging to the person receiving them.

A wise Adults with Disabilities Chaplain must notice how easily embarrassment can enter a communication moment.

One of the first mistakes is rushing.

When people are rushed, they often lose clarity. A person with speech differences may need a little more time to express a thought. A person with hearing loss may need a clearer sentence or a repeated phrase. A person processing language carefully may need a pause before answering.

If the chaplain jumps in too fast, the message is this: “Your pace is inconvenient.”

That harms trust.

Another common mistake is mumbling or speaking while looking away.

This especially matters for adults who rely on facial cues or lip reading. If you speak while turning your head, covering your mouth, walking away, or looking down, you may be making the conversation much harder without realizing it.

Communication is not only about what you say. It is also about how accessible your speech is.

Another mistake is embarrassing the person in public.

This can happen when people say things like:

“Can you say that again? I still can’t understand you.”
“Somebody tell me what he’s trying to say.”
“She never talks loud enough.”
“He always misses the point.”

Those statements may sound blunt, but even softer versions can wound when said carelessly.

Adults with disabilities are adults.
They are not objects in a group discussion.
They should not be talked about as if they are not there.

A Chaplain for Adults with Disabilities must also avoid finishing every sentence for the person. Sometimes a small clarification may be welcome. But constant interruption sends the message that the person’s own voice is not worth waiting for.

Another mistake is pretending to understand when you do not.

That may feel polite in the moment, but it often creates confusion later. Better to be honest and respectful.

You can say, “I want to understand well. Could you say that one more time?”
Or, “Would it help to write that down?”
Or, “Let’s slow this down. I want to hear you.”

That kind of honesty is much better than fake understanding.

Another mistake is assuming that difficulty with speech means difficulty with thought.

That is a serious reductionistic error.

Some adults speak slowly but think deeply.
Some adults miss parts of fast conversation but understand a great deal.
Some adults express themselves more clearly in writing than in speech.
Some adults communicate well in one setting and struggle in another.

A Disability-Aware Chaplain must never confuse communication style with personal worth.

There is also a spiritual mistake that sometimes happens in ministry settings. People may treat communication difficulty as something to push past quickly because they want to get to the “real ministry” moment of prayer or advice.

But how you communicate is already part of the ministry moment.

If the person feels embarrassed, rushed, or dismissed, prayer offered afterward may not repair that damage.

In Ministry Sciences terms, repeated communication embarrassment can shape confidence, belonging, emotional safety, and future willingness to engage. It is not just about one awkward moment. It is about the pattern that forms over time.

So what should you avoid?

Do not rush.
Do not mumble.
Do not turn away while speaking.
Do not publicly spotlight confusion.
Do not talk over the person.
Do not answer for them without permission.
Do not assume less understanding than is really there.
Do not act irritated when communication takes more time.

A good Adults with Disabilities Chaplain chooses dignity over speed.

That may require patience.
It may require humility.
It may require repeating yourself more carefully.
It may require changing the setting, lowering the noise, or using a different format.

But this is part of real ministry.

The goal is not to protect your own convenience.

The goal is to help the person communicate with dignity, clarity, and peace.

That is what not to do.
And that is why communication care matters so much.