🎥 Video 7B Transcript: What Not to Do: Public Pressure, Embarrassment, or Mistaking Anxiety for Disinterest

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter.

In this lesson, we are focusing on what not to do when an adult has learning disabilities, reading anxiety, or fear of public participation.

One of the easiest mistakes in ministry is to pressure someone in the name of encouragement.

A leader says, “Come on, you can do it.”
A teacher says, “Just read the next verse for us.”
A group member says, “Don’t be shy.”
Someone laughs lightly and says, “We’re all family here.”

Those words may sound harmless. But for a person carrying reading anxiety, they can feel exposing and heavy.

A wise Adults with Disabilities Chaplain must understand that public pressure is not the same as support.

If a person has a history of struggling with reading, being corrected in front of others, or feeling slower than the group, then surprise participation may trigger fear very quickly. Even if the group means well, the person may feel trapped.

That is why one major mistake is calling on someone publicly without warning.

Another mistake is mistaking avoidance for apathy.

A person may stay quiet when reading is involved, not because they do not care, but because they care so much that the fear of embarrassment becomes overwhelming.

If a Disability-Aware Chaplain or church leader interprets that quietness as laziness, the result is unfair and harmful.

Another common mistake is using humor at the wrong time.

Comments like, “You skipped half the line,” or, “We’ll get there eventually,” may be intended lightly, but they can land hard. Even joking embarrassment is still embarrassment.

Adults with disabilities are adults.
They should not be treated like children in a classroom.
They should not be pushed into a performance moment to prove willingness.

Another mistake is treating one kind of participation as the only real kind.

If a person does not read aloud, that does not mean they are not listening.
If they do not answer quickly, that does not mean they are not thinking.
If they prefer one-on-one conversation, that does not mean they lack spiritual hunger.

A Chaplain for Adults with Disabilities must resist narrow measurements of engagement.

A non-reductionist lens is very helpful here.

Difficulty with reading does not define the person.
Anxiety in one task does not erase strength in another.
A slower pace does not mean lesser dignity.
One visible struggle must not become the whole interpretation of the person.

Another mistake is overhelping in a way that increases shame.

Sometimes people jump in too fast.
They finish the sentence.
They grab the page.
They explain the answer before the person has time.

That may feel efficient, but it often communicates, “You cannot do this.”

Sometimes the wisest support is less dramatic.
Offer options.
Reduce pressure.
Let the person keep dignity.

The chaplain should also avoid spiritualizing the problem carelessly.

Do not say, “You just need more confidence in the Lord.”
Do not imply that fear in a reading moment is a sign of weak faith.
Do not use Scripture as pressure against someone who already feels exposed.

Scripture should be a place of life, not a tool of humiliation.

In Ministry Sciences terms, repeated public embarrassment shapes emotional memory. It can make a person avoid groups, avoid speaking, avoid volunteering, or even avoid settings where spiritual growth should have been possible. This is one reason wise chaplaincy matters so much.

So what should you avoid?

Do not surprise people with public reading requests.
Do not mistake anxiety for disinterest.
Do not use jokes that expose weakness.
Do not force participation to prove inclusion.
Do not correct publicly when private support would be kinder.
Do not measure spiritual maturity by fast reading or confident speaking.
Do not treat the person like a problem in the group.

A good Adults with Disabilities Chaplain protects dignity first.

That means creating safer ways to participate.
It means lowering shame.
It means refusing to embarrass people in the name of ministry.

That is what not to do.
And that is why wise, respectful care matters so much.