🎥 Video 9B Transcript: Never Assume Contact Is Wanted

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter.

One of the most important lessons in pet assisted chaplaincy is this: never assume contact is wanted.

That principle matters everywhere, but it matters especially in ministry with children, disability settings, trauma-sensitive environments, and other vulnerable or highly personal situations.

A gentle animal may seem welcoming to you.
It may seem friendly.
It may seem like a wonderful way to connect.

But the person in front of you may experience that same animal very differently.

They may be afraid.
They may be unsure.
They may be overstimulated.
They may dislike fur, movement, smell, or unpredictability.
They may have a painful memory tied to animals.
They may simply want more distance before they feel safe.

If the chaplain assumes contact is wanted, the ministry can become intrusive very quickly.

That is why consent and pacing matter so much.

For some people, looking is enough.
For some, a short introduction is enough.
For some, one gentle touch is enough.
For some, the animal should stay several feet away.
For some, no interaction should happen at all.

The chaplain must be comfortable with all of those outcomes.

Never make the mistake of treating hesitation like a problem to overcome.

Do not say, “She won’t hurt you.”
Do not say, “Just pet her once.”
Do not say, “Come on, everybody loves dogs.”
Do not move the animal closer just because the person has not verbally objected.

These are pressure responses, not care responses.

Instead, the chaplain should create space for honest response.

You might say:
“You can just look if you want.”
“We can stay right here.”
“You do not need to touch her.”
“It is okay if you would rather not.”

That kind of language protects dignity. It also lowers fear because the person knows they are not being pushed.

This is especially important when the person communicates differently.

A child may freeze.
A teen may laugh nervously.
An adult with communication challenges may turn away, stiffen, flap, vocalize, or reach suddenly.
A person with trauma history may seem fine at first and then pull back sharply.

The chaplain must learn to read those signals seriously.

Contact should not be treated as the goal.
Trust is the goal.
Dignity is the goal.
Safe presence is the goal.

And sometimes the most respectful ministry is to keep the animal at a distance and let the person remain fully in control of the encounter.

That can still be a meaningful visit.

A chaplain must also remember that consent is not permanent. Someone may welcome the animal at first and then become tired, overloaded, or uneasy. A child may begin excited and then get too rough. An adult may reach out and then withdraw. The chaplain should adjust quickly and without embarrassment.

This is one of the ways pet assisted chaplaincy becomes believable. The chaplain is not trying to win the interaction. The chaplain is trying to serve the person.

Never assume contact is wanted.
Offer it slowly.
Watch carefully.
Accept hesitation.
Respect refusal.
And remember that a person who chooses distance is not rejecting ministry. They may simply be telling you the truth about what care looks like for them.

That truth should be honored.