Video Transcript: What Not to Do: Taking Over, Asking for the Whole Story, or Treating People Like Projects

🎥 Video 2B Transcript: What Not to Do: Taking Over, Asking for the Whole Story, or Treating People Like Projects

Hi, I am Haley, a Christian Leaders Institute presenter.

In Reentry and Restoration Chaplaincy, good intentions are not enough. A chaplain can care deeply and still harm trust by entering too strongly, asking too much, or acting like the returning citizen is a ministry assignment instead of a person.

One of the first mistakes is taking over.

Maybe the chaplain walks into a reentry group and immediately begins giving advice. Maybe the chaplain corrects the program leader, interrupts the group rhythm, or assumes spiritual authority without being invited. That kind of behavior may feel bold to the chaplain, but it can feel disrespectful to the setting.

A wise chaplain asks, “How can I support what is already happening here?” not “How can I become the center of what is happening here?”

Another common mistake is asking for the whole story too soon.

Questions like “What were you in for?” “How long did you serve?” “Did you really do it?” or “How did your family react?” may feel natural to a curious volunteer, but they can land as invasive. A person’s criminal record, family fracture, addiction history, trauma story, or court situation is not public property.

Reentry chaplains do not demand stories. They receive what is freely offered.

If someone chooses to share, listen with care. But do not pull for details. Do not turn pain into content. Do not ask for testimony before trust has been built. Do not assume that public sharing equals healing. Sometimes the most faithful response is simple: “Thank you for trusting me with that. I’m honored to listen.”

A third mistake is treating people like projects.

Returning citizens are not spiritual repair jobs. They are embodied souls made in the image of God. They may need housing, work, recovery support, family repair, counseling, legal guidance, church connection, and steady encouragement. But they are not problems to be solved by your energy.

When chaplains treat people like projects, they often overpromise. They say things like, “I’ll make sure you get a job,” or “I’ll talk to your family,” or “Call me anytime,” or “I’ll personally walk you through everything.” These promises may sound compassionate, but they can create dependency and disappointment.

What should a chaplain do instead?

Enter with humility. Respect the leaders. Ask permission. Listen before speaking. Offer prayer only when welcomed. Share Scripture with consent. Encourage next steps without pretending to control outcomes.

You can say, “I cannot fix everything, but I can listen, pray if you want, and help connect you with the right support.”

That sentence protects dignity, truth, and boundaries.

Reentry ministry is not about becoming the hero. It is about becoming a trustworthy presence. The chaplain’s calling is not to take over someone’s story, but to bear witness to Christ’s hope while honoring the person, the setting, and the process of restoration.