📝 Worksheet 6.4: Listening, Attending, and Intentional Dialogue
📝 Worksheet 6.4: Listening, Attending, and Intentional Dialogue
Purpose of This Worksheet
This worksheet helps you practice listening, attending, and intentional dialogue as an Addiction Recovery Chaplain.
People in recovery often need more than quick advice. They need calm presence, wise questions, patient listening, clear boundaries, prayer by permission, and encouragement toward the next faithful step.
This worksheet will help you reflect on how you listen, how you respond, and how you stay within the chaplain role while serving people with dignity and truth.
Part 1: Key Concept Review
Complete the following statements.
Attending means more than hearing words. It means offering my presence with ____________________, ____________________, and ____________________.
A recovering person should never be reduced to addiction, relapse, drug of choice, or worst moment because they are an ____________________ of God.
Intentional dialogue is different from quick advice because it begins with ____________________ before direction.
The chaplain’s role is to offer spiritual care, encouragement, prayer by permission, Scripture with consent, and connection to support, but not to become the person’s ____________________, ____________________, or ____________________.
Confidentiality is important, but I must not promise absolute secrecy when there is credible danger involving ____________________, ____________________, or ____________________.
A wise chaplain supports the sponsor relationship by encouraging honest communication rather than becoming a ____________________ substitute.
A helpful question for someone in recovery is: “What is the next ____________________ step you know you need to take?”
Prayer and Scripture should normally be offered by ____________________, not pressure.
Part 2: Personal Listening Discernment
Check any statements that may describe a temptation you face.
☐ I want to fix people too quickly.
☐ I feel uncomfortable with silence.
☐ I give advice before I understand the full situation.
☐ I talk more when I feel anxious.
☐ I avoid hard questions because I do not want to upset people.
☐ I enjoy being trusted and may be tempted to become the preferred helper.
☐ I struggle to ask about safety concerns directly.
☐ I sometimes use Scripture too quickly instead of listening first.
☐ I may confuse compassion with rescue.
☐ I may become frustrated when people repeat the same patterns.
Reflection
Which two checked items do you most need to bring before God?
What would faithful growth look like in these areas?
Part 3: Practice Phrases
Write or practice a chaplain response for each situation.
Situation 1: The person talks in circles.
The recovering person says, “I don’t know what I’m saying. I’m just tired. Everything is a mess.”
A wise chaplain response:
Situation 2: The person asks for secrecy.
The recovering person says, “Promise you won’t tell anyone.”
A wise chaplain response:
Situation 3: The person avoids the sponsor.
The recovering person says, “I don’t want to call my sponsor. I would rather just talk to you.”
A wise chaplain response:
Situation 4: The person feels spiritually rejected.
The recovering person says, “God is probably done with me.”
A wise chaplain response:
Situation 5: The person asks for prayer.
The recovering person says, “Can you pray for me? I feel like I am about to fall apart.”
A wise chaplain response:
Part 4: Boundary Check Scenarios
For each scenario, choose the best chaplain response.
Scenario A: Hallway Disclosure
After a recovery group, a man says, “I relapsed yesterday, but I do not want my sponsor to know. Can I just talk to you instead?”
Best response:
☐ Agree to keep it private and become his temporary accountability person.
☐ Tell him he failed and must immediately confess to everyone.
☐ Thank him for telling the truth, clarify safety, and encourage honest contact with his sponsor.
☐ Avoid the topic because relapse conversations are too serious for chaplains.
Why is this response best?
Scenario B: Prayer Without Listening
A woman begins crying and says, “My family still does not trust me.” The chaplain immediately says, “Let’s pray,” without asking anything else.
What could be missing in this response?
☐ The chaplain may have skipped listening and permission.
☐ The chaplain should never pray with people in recovery.
☐ The chaplain should only discuss family conflict with counselors.
☐ The chaplain should correct her family before praying.
A better response would be:
Scenario C: Safety Concern
A recovering person says, “Everyone would be better off without me.”
What should the chaplain do?
☐ Ignore it because people often exaggerate when upset.
☐ Ask directly about self-harm and involve appropriate help if needed.
☐ Promise secrecy so the person feels safe.
☐ Change the subject to avoid making the person uncomfortable.
A wise direct question could be:
Scenario D: Sponsor Complaint
A person says, “My sponsor is too hard on me. I am done with her.”
What should the chaplain avoid?
☐ Taking sides too quickly without understanding the situation.
☐ Asking what happened and whether the sponsor relationship is safe.
☐ Encouraging honest communication when appropriate.
☐ Involving recovery leadership if there is a serious concern.
A wise chaplain response:
Part 5: Intentional Dialogue Practice
Use the L.I.S.T.E.N. model from Reading 6.2.
L — Listen Slowly
What will you do to slow yourself down before responding?
I — Identify the Concern
What possible concerns should you listen for in addiction recovery conversations?
☐ Shame
☐ Craving
☐ Relapse danger
☐ Sponsor avoidance
☐ Family fracture
☐ Spiritual despair
☐ Safety risk
☐ Manipulation or dependency
☐ Need for prayer
☐ Need for referral
Which concerns are easiest for you to notice?
Which concerns are hardest for you to notice?
S — Seek Permission
Write three permission-based spiritual care phrases.
T — Tell the Truth with Grace
Rewrite this harsh statement into a grace-filled truthful statement.
Harsh statement:
“You are just making excuses again.”
Grace-filled truth:
E — Encourage the Recovery Circle
List possible people or supports that may belong in a recovering person’s recovery circle.
N — Name the Next Right Step
Write three next-right-step questions.
Part 6: Local Ministry Application
Think about your current or future ministry setting.
My likely addiction recovery chaplaincy setting is:
☐ Local church
☐ Recovery group
☐ Soul Center
☐ Recovery home
☐ Jail-to-community ministry
☐ Reentry-connected ministry
☐ Family support ministry
☐ Informal community ministry
☐ Other: ______________________________________
What boundaries will matter most in this setting?
☐ Meeting location
☐ Confidentiality limits
☐ Sponsor relationships
☐ Church leadership awareness
☐ Transportation requests
☐ Money requests
☐ Crisis escalation
☐ Prayer and Scripture by permission
☐ Communication by phone or text
☐ Referral relationships
☐ Safety protocols
☐ Emotional dependency risks
Write your local boundary plan.
In this ministry setting, I will protect healthy boundaries by:
Part 7: Calling and Readiness Reflection
Answer the following questions honestly.
What kind of listener do people experience me to be?
What do I need to change so that recovering people experience more patience and dignity from me?
When am I most tempted to speak too quickly?
How can I support sponsors and recovery leaders without replacing them?
What would help me stay steady when someone shares shame, relapse, or spiritual despair?
What Scripture gives me wisdom for listening and speaking?
Part 8: Prayer and Commitment
Complete this prayer in your own words.
Lord Jesus,
Teach me to listen before I speak. Help me see each recovering person as an embodied soul made in your image. Give me patience when stories are complicated, courage when safety must be addressed, humility when I am tempted to rescue, and wisdom when I need to refer. Help me speak truth with grace and offer prayer with respect. Keep me from becoming a substitute for sponsors, counselors, pastors, or treatment providers. Make me steady, honest, and useful in your service.
Today I commit to grow in:
I need your help especially with:
Amen.
Closing Formation Prayer
Father,
Make me swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger. Give me the patience of Christ, the courage of truth, and the gentleness of grace. Help me listen without control, speak without shame, pray without pressure, and serve without confusion. Teach me to honor the recovery circle, respect healthy boundaries, and point people toward the next faithful step. In Jesus’ name, amen.