📝 Worksheet 2.4: Drawing the Basic Family Formation Map

Purpose of This Worksheet

This worksheet helps you practice drawing a simple ministry genogram, also called a family formation map.

The goal is not to create a perfect chart. The goal is to learn how to use a basic family map as a respectful, permission-based ministry conversation tool.

A family formation map can help a person notice:

• important family relationships

• caregivers and formative people

• repeated patterns

• emotional climate

• spiritual influences

• painful events

• blessings and strengths

• missing models

• one faithful next step in Christ

Use this worksheet slowly. Do not force painful details. Do not diagnose family members. Do not write anything that feels unsafe or inappropriate for the setting.

Part 1: Key Concept Review

A Basic Ministry Genogram

Complete the sentence:

A basic ministry genogram is useful because it helps a person:

Three Generations

A simple family formation map often begins with three generations.

Fill in the blanks:

1. The __________________ or conversation partner.

2. The person’s __________________, caregivers, or family-of-origin figures.

3. The person’s __________________ or earlier shaping generation.

The Map Serves the Person

Complete the sentence:

The genogram is not the center of the conversation. The __________________ is.

Part 2: Basic Symbols Practice

Use the following simple symbols as a guide.

Practice Drawing Symbols

Draw a square:

Draw a circle:

Draw a horizontal relationship line:

Draw a vertical child connection line:

Draw a symbol with a slash through it:

Draw a dotted line for a significant non-biological relationship:

Part 3: Start with the Person

Begin the family formation map with yourself or a practice conversation partner.

Write the person’s first name or initials:

Write one simple description of the present ministry conversation focus.

Examples: confidence, calling, anger pattern, family roles, leadership fear, marriage preparation, parenting concern, spiritual formation, missing model.

Focus area:

Now write the opening question you could ask:

“Who should we include around you?”

My version:

Part 4: Add Parents, Caregivers, and Household Figures

List the people who shaped the person’s early life.

These may include biological parents, adoptive parents, foster parents, stepparents, grandparents, older siblings, guardians, aunts, uncles, church families, mentors, or other caregivers.

Reflection

Which person gave the most stability?

Which person created confusion, fear, distance, or instability?

Which person helped shape faith, identity, calling, or confidence?

Part 5: Add Grandparents or Earlier Shaping Generation

List grandparents or earlier shaping figures if known.

If some family history is unknown, write “unknown” without shame.

If Family History Is Unknown

Complete the sentence:

The unknown parts of this family story may matter because:

A gentle phrase I could use with someone who does not know much family history is:

Part 6: Add Siblings, Spouse, Children, and Significant Relationships

List any key relationships that shaped the person or are relevant to the conversation.

Check any family roles that may appear.

☐ Caretaker
☐ Achiever
☐ Peacemaker
☐ Rebel
☐ Invisible one
☐ Responsible child
☐ Family clown
☐ Protector
☐ Fixer
☐ Spiritual anchor
☐ Encourager
☐ Other: ___________________________________________

Write one family role that may have shaped the person:

Write one way that role may have helped them survive or serve:

Write one way that role may need to be redeemed or reshaped in Christ:

Part 7: Add Event Notes

List major events that shaped the family story. Keep notes brief and respectful.

Possible events include death, divorce, remarriage, adoption, foster care, incarceration, migration, military service, illness, addiction struggle, recovery, job loss, church involvement, church wound, conversion, ministry calling, estrangement, reconciliation, or major crisis.

Careful Language Practice

Rewrite each phrase in a more respectful, non-diagnostic way.

“Broken home”

“Addict family”

“Toxic mother”

“Crazy family”

“Failure pattern”

Part 8: Add Emotional Climate Notes

Choose words that describe the emotional atmosphere of the home or family line.

Check any that may apply.

☐ Warm
☐ Cold
☐ Angry
☐ Fearful
☐ Anxious
☐ Silent
☐ Critical
☐ Affectionate
☐ Chaotic
☐ Predictable
☐ Controlling
☐ Tender
☐ Dismissive
☐ Humorous
☐ Grief-heavy
☐ Shame-based
☐ Peaceful
☐ Performance-driven
☐ Prayerful
☐ Emotionally distant
☐ Loud
☐ Secretive
☐ Safe
☐ Unstable
☐ Encouraging
☐ Conflict-avoidant
☐ Volatile
☐ Loyal
☐ Protective

Write three emotional climate words that seem most important:

Gentle Question Practice

Write one question you could ask about emotional climate.

Example: “When you think about your childhood home, what words describe the atmosphere?”

My question:

Part 9: Add Spiritual Influence Notes

Check any spiritual influences that may be part of the family formation map.

☐ Prayerful family member
☐ Scripture in the home
☐ Church attendance
☐ Faith never discussed
☐ Fear-based religion
☐ Grace-centered church
☐ Legalism
☐ Church wound
☐ Ministry calling
☐ Pastoral encouragement
☐ Baptism milestone
☐ Family devotions
☐ Worship music
☐ Spiritual silence
☐ Mission-minded family
☐ Religious conflict
☐ Faithful service
☐ Anger at God
☐ Bible used harshly
☐ Hospitality as ministry
☐ Prayer during crisis
☐ No church involvement
☐ Strong Christian mentor
☐ Spiritual confusion
☐ Hunger for grace

Write one spiritual blessing that may be present:

Write one spiritual wound, silence, or confusion that may be present:

Write one sentence that handles a spiritual wound with care:

Part 10: Add Blessing Notes

A family formation map should not become a wound-only map. Look for traces of grace.

Check any blessings or strengths that may be present.

☐ Prayer
☐ Faithfulness
☐ Hospitality
☐ Courage
☐ Humor
☐ Music
☐ Craftsmanship
☐ Perseverance
☐ Generosity
☐ Protection
☐ Loyalty
☐ Service
☐ Scripture
☐ Peacemaking
☐ Education
☐ Hard work
☐ Creativity
☐ Leadership
☐ Caregiving
☐ Honest confession
☐ Affection
☐ Wisdom
☐ Sacrifice
☐ Community involvement
☐ Church service

Write two blessing notes:

Write one question that helps someone notice a blessing without minimizing pain.

Part 11: Add Missing Models

A missing model is something good that was not clearly demonstrated.

Check any missing models that may matter.

☐ Healthy apology
☐ Conflict repair
☐ Calm leadership
☐ Faithful fatherhood
☐ Warm motherhood
☐ Marriage tenderness
☐ Spiritual leadership
☐ Public prayer
☐ Emotional honesty
☐ Financial wisdom
☐ Education
☐ Entrepreneurship
☐ Stable work
☐ Asking for help
☐ Rest
☐ Hospitality
☐ Healthy boundaries
☐ Forgiveness with wisdom
☐ Confession without humiliation
☐ Encouragement
☐ Mentoring
☐ Sober living
☐ Peacemaking
☐ Grieving honestly
☐ Trustworthy authority
☐ Starting something new
☐ Finishing what was started

Write one missing model that may affect the person’s confidence, calling, relationships, or ministry readiness.

Complete the phrase:

A missing model is not a missing __________________.

Write one sentence of encouragement:

Part 12: Relationship Quality Practice

Use simple relationship notes only if they help the conversation.

Choose one relationship from the map and describe it carefully.

Relationship:

Possible relationship quality:

Careful sentence:

Example: “Would it be fair to describe this relationship as close, distant, or conflict-heavy?”

Part 13: Privacy and Dignity Check

Before storing, sharing, or keeping a genogram, answer these questions.

Who should keep the map?

What information should not be written down?

Would initials be safer than full names?

Does the ministry, church, Soul Center, or organization have a documentation policy?

What would protect the dignity of the person and the family story?

Check each commitment.

☐ I will not photograph a genogram casually.
☐ I will not leave a genogram where others can see it.
☐ I will not share family information as gossip.
☐ I will not use someone’s family story as a sermon illustration without permission.
☐ I will follow ministry policy if documentation is required.
☐ I will treat family stories as entrusted care.

Part 14: Move from Map to Ministry Conversation

After the basic map is drawn, choose one question from each category.

Pattern Question

☐ What patterns do you notice?
☐ Where do you see repeated pain?
☐ Where do you see repeated strength?
☐ Were there patterns around anger, silence, faith, work, money, leadership, or relationships?

My chosen question:

Blessing Question

☐ Who showed courage?
☐ Who prayed?
☐ Who served others?
☐ What good thing do you want to carry forward?

My chosen question:

Missing Model Question

☐ What did you wish had been modeled?
☐ What feels unfamiliar because you did not see it growing up?
☐ What good pattern might you need to learn now?

My chosen question:

Calling Question

☐ How might this family story affect your confidence or calling?
☐ What might Christ be redeeming?
☐ What is one faithful next step?

My chosen question:

Part 15: One Faithful Next Step

A good first genogram should not overwhelm the person. It should help them identify one wise next step.

Choose one possible next step.

☐ Pray about one pattern Christ is inviting attention to.
☐ Thank God for one blessing in the family story.
☐ Ask a mentor for help with one missing model.
☐ Practice one new response in conflict.
☐ Seek counseling or deeper support for a painful area.
☐ Ask for pastoral guidance.
☐ Practice apologizing without defending.
☐ Begin one small leadership step.
☐ Write a private reflection.
☐ Set one wise boundary.
☐ Other: ___________________________________________

Write the faithful next step:

Why is this step wise, small, and possible?

Who could support this step?

Part 16: Field Handbook Tool

Field Tool 2: Basic Family Formation Map Guide

Purpose

This tool helps a ministry leader draw a simple, respectful, three-generation family formation map without turning the conversation into therapy, diagnosis, or interrogation.

Step 1: Begin with Permission

“Would it be okay if we drew a simple family formation map to notice patterns, strengths, missing models, and possible next steps?”

Step 2: Start with the Person

Place the person near the lower middle of the page.

Ask:

“Who should we include around you?”

Step 3: Add Parents, Caregivers, and Household Figures

Include people who shaped daily life, not only biological relatives.

Ask:

“Who raised you most directly?”

“Who gave stability?”

“Who was absent or intermittent in a way that mattered?”

Step 4: Add Grandparents or Earlier Shaping Generation

If known, add grandparents or earlier formative figures.

If unknown, write “unknown” gently.

Ask:

“What do you know about the earlier generation?”

“Are there unknown spaces that still feel important?”

Step 5: Add Siblings, Spouse, Children, or Significant Relationships

Include only what is relevant and appropriate.

Ask:

“Are there siblings, spouse, children, mentors, or others who shaped this story?”

Step 6: Add Notes

Use brief, respectful notes.

Include:

• events

• emotional climate

• spiritual influences

• painful patterns

• blessings

• missing models

• family roles

• opportunities

Step 7: Protect Privacy

Ask:

“What should not be written down?”

“Would initials be better?”

“Do you want to keep this map?”

Step 8: Choose One Faithful Next Step

Ask:

“As you look at this map, what is one wise, small, possible next step in Christ?”

Closing Formation Prayer

Lord Jesus,

Teach me to draw family formation maps with humility and care. Help me remember that the person matters more than the chart. Give me wisdom to ask permission, protect privacy, use careful words, and notice both pain and grace.

Help me honor complicated family stories without shame. Teach me to see missing models as invitations for mentoring and growth, not as proof of failure. Keep me from overinterpreting, diagnosing, or pushing too far.

May each map become a place of truth, dignity, hope, and one faithful next step.

Amen.