📝 Worksheet 1.5: Ministry Genogram Conversation Self-Reflection and Field Readiness

Purpose of This Worksheet

This worksheet helps you prepare for ministry genogram conversations with humility, wisdom, and care.

Before you guide someone else through a family formation map, you need to reflect on your own readiness. This does not mean you must have your entire family story resolved. It means you are willing to become self-aware, stay within your role, protect dignity, and use the genogram as a ministry conversation tool—not as therapy, diagnosis, family blaming, or spiritual pressure.

A ministry genogram conversation helps people notice:

• what was passed down

• what was missing

• what was painful

• what was good

• what shaped confidence, calling, relationships, and spiritual formation

• what Christ may be redeeming

• what faithful next step may be wise

Use this worksheet slowly. You do not need to write details that feel unsafe or too private. The goal is formation, not forced disclosure.

Part 1: Key Concept Review

1. A Ministry Genogram Is a Formation Map

Complete the sentence:

A ministry genogram is a formation map because it helps a person notice:

2. A Ministry Genogram Is Not

Check each statement that is true.

☐ A ministry genogram is not a diagnosis.
☐ A ministry genogram is not therapy.
☐ A ministry genogram is not a tool for blaming families.
☐ A ministry genogram is not a way to force painful disclosure.
☐ A ministry genogram is not a curse map.
☐ A ministry genogram is not destiny.
☐ A ministry genogram is not a replacement for counseling when deeper care is needed.

3. The Five Questions of a Ministry Genogram Conversation

Fill in the missing words.

1. What was __________________ down?

2. What was __________________?

3. What did this __________________ in you?

4. What is Christ __________________?

5. What are you called to carry forward or __________________?

Part 2: Personal Discernment

You are not required to disclose painful details. Use simple words or phrases.

1. What Was Passed Down?

List two or three patterns, habits, strengths, or struggles you noticed in your family formation.

These may include things like prayer, silence, anger, courage, hospitality, fear, criticism, addiction, perseverance, faithfulness, financial habits, leadership, emotional distance, humor, generosity, or work ethic.

2. What Was Missing?

Were there good things you did not clearly see modeled?

Check any that may apply.

☐ Healthy conflict
☐ Apology and repair
☐ Calm leadership
☐ Affection and warmth
☐ Prayer in the home
☐ Emotional honesty
☐ Financial wisdom
☐ Education or study habits
☐ Entrepreneurship or initiative
☐ Ministry leadership
☐ Rest and peace
☐ Healthy boundaries
☐ Encouragement
☐ Other: ___________________________________________

Write one missing model that may have affected your confidence, calling, relationships, or ministry readiness.

3. What Did This Form in You?

Complete one or more of these prompts.

Because of my family formation, I may react strongly when:

Because of my family formation, I may find it hard to:

Because of my family formation, I may be strong in:

Because of my family formation, I may need to grow in:

4. What Is Christ Redeeming?

Do not rush this question. Write one area where you sense Christ may be inviting healing, courage, repentance, wisdom, or new formation.

5. What Might You Carry Forward or Begin?

Write one blessing you may want to carry forward.

Write one new faithful pattern you may need to begin.

Part 3: Genogram Conversation Practice

Imagine you are introducing a simple genogram conversation to someone in a ministry setting.

Practice Opening

Write your own version of this invitation:

“Sometimes it helps to draw a simple family formation map. It can help us notice patterns, strengths, missing models, and possible next steps. This is not therapy or diagnosis, and we do not need to go into anything you are not ready to discuss. Would you be open to trying that?”

My version:

Practice Permission Question

Write one gentle permission-based question you could ask before exploring a sensitive family pattern.

Example: “Would it be okay if we explored that a little?”

My question:

Practice Stopping Question

Write one sentence you could use if the conversation becomes too heavy.

Example: “We can pause here; we do not need to keep going right now.”

My sentence:

Part 4: Practice Phrases

Choose three phrases below that you want to remember in future ministry conversations.

☐ “Thank you for trusting me with that.”
☐ “We can go slowly.”
☐ “You do not have to share more than you are ready to share.”
☐ “I hear both pain and grace in this story.”
☐ “That pattern may have shaped you, but it does not define you.”
☐ “Unfamiliar does not mean impossible.”
☐ “A missing model is not a missing capacity.”
☐ “Would prayer be helpful right now?”
☐ “This may deserve more support than I can provide in my role.”
☐ “What is one faithful next step?”

Now write the three phrases you chose:

Write one phrase in your own words that protects dignity and does not pressure the person.

Part 5: Boundary Check Scenarios

Read each scenario and choose the wisest response.

Scenario 1: The Church Lobby

After church, someone says, “I think my family messed me up. Can you help me draw one of those genograms right now?”

Wise response:

☐ Begin immediately because the person asked.
☐ Tell them their family probably explains everything.
☐ Suggest a more private, scheduled conversation.
☐ Ask them to share the main family wounds right there.

Write a sentence you could say:

Scenario 2: The Overwhelmed Student

During a genogram conversation, a student begins crying and says, “I did not expect this to hurt so much.”

Wise response:

☐ Keep going so the student can finish the map.
☐ Pause and give the student permission to slow down or stop.
☐ Tell the student this means the exercise is working.
☐ Immediately ask for more details about the painful memory.

Write a sentence you could say:

Scenario 3: The Family Blame Trap

A person says, “Now I know everything wrong with me is my parents’ fault.”

Wise response:

☐ Agree fully so the person feels validated.
☐ Correct harshly and tell them to stop blaming.
☐ Help them hold formation and responsibility together.
☐ Tell them to confront their parents immediately.

Write a sentence you could say:

Scenario 4: The Missing Model

A student says, “No one in my family ever led anything. Maybe I am not supposed to lead.”

Wise response:

☐ Tell them leadership is easy if they have faith.
☐ Explain that a missing model is not a missing capacity.
☐ Tell them to ignore their family story completely.
☐ Tell them they must prove their family wrong.

Write a sentence you could say:

Scenario 5: Safety Concern

A person shares something that may involve abuse, self-harm, danger to another person, or a legal reporting obligation.

Wise response:

☐ Promise secrecy so they keep trusting you.
☐ Handle it alone to protect the relationship.
☐ Follow ministry policy, reporting requirements, and referral pathways.
☐ Keep drawing the genogram to gather more information.

Write a sentence you could say:

Part 6: Field Handbook Tool

Field Tool 1: Ministry Genogram Conversation Overview

Use this tool as a quick-start guide.

What Is a Ministry Genogram Conversation?

A ministry genogram conversation is a permission-based family formation conversation that helps a person notice patterns, wounds, strengths, missing models, spiritual influences, and possible faithful next steps in Christ.

What It Can Help Reveal

A genogram conversation may help reveal:

☐ repeated family patterns
☐ painful cycles
☐ emotional habits
☐ family roles
☐ spiritual influences
☐ relational expectations
☐ blessings and strengths
☐ missing models
☐ confidence gaps
☐ calling opportunities
☐ areas for prayer
☐ one faithful next step

What It Must Not Become

A ministry genogram conversation must not become:

☐ therapy
☐ diagnosis
☐ family blaming
☐ forced disclosure
☐ public testimony pressure
☐ trauma treatment
☐ spiritual manipulation
☐ pressure for reconciliation
☐ a replacement for counseling
☐ a promise of absolute secrecy

The Five Core Questions

1. What was passed down?

2. What was missing?

3. What did this form in you?

4. What is Christ redeeming?

5. What are you called to carry forward or begin?

Simple Opening Script

“Sometimes it helps to draw a simple family formation map. It can help us notice patterns, strengths, missing models, spiritual influences, and possible next steps. This is not therapy or diagnosis, and we do not need to go into anything you are not ready to discuss. You can pause or stop anytime. Would you be open to trying this?”

Simple Boundary Script

“I will treat what you share with care. I also need to be honest that if something involves danger, abuse, self-harm, harm to someone else, or something that must be reported, I may need to involve appropriate help.”

Simple Closing Question

“As you look at this map, what is one faithful next step that seems wise, small, and possible?”

Part 7: Local Ministry Application

Think about where you may use ministry genogram conversations.

Check any setting that may apply.

☐ Soul Center
☐ Ministry coaching
☐ Chaplaincy conversation
☐ Pastoral care
☐ Small group leadership
☐ Marriage ministry
☐ Premarital mentoring
☐ Family ministry
☐ Recovery ministry
☐ Anger reset ministry
☐ Leadership development
☐ Discipleship mentoring
☐ Church volunteer training
☐ Other: ___________________________________________

Setting Discernment

What setting are you most likely to use this in?

What privacy concerns would you need to consider?

What role boundaries would you need to explain?

Who could you refer someone to if deeper care is needed?

What church, Soul Center, ministry, or organizational policies should you know before using this tool?

Part 8: Calling and Readiness Reflection

Complete these prompts.

One reason I want to learn ministry genogram conversations is:

One boundary I need to remember is:

One kind of situation where I should refer instead of continuing alone is:

One strength I bring to this kind of ministry conversation is:

One growth area I need to work on is:

One faithful next step for my own preparation is:

Part 9: Prayer and Commitment

Read the statements below. Check the ones you are willing to commit to.

☐ I will treat family stories with dignity.
☐ I will ask permission before exploring sensitive patterns.
☐ I will not use genograms to diagnose people.
☐ I will not pressure painful disclosure.
☐ I will not force forgiveness or reconciliation.
☐ I will remember that family history shapes people but does not define them.
☐ I will look for wounds and strengths.
☐ I will notice missing models without shaming the person.
☐ I will pray and share Scripture with consent.
☐ I will refer when needs exceed my role.
☐ I will help people discern one faithful next step in Christ.

Write your own commitment sentence:

Closing Formation Prayer

Lord Jesus,

Give me wisdom as I learn to walk with people in their family stories. Help me listen with humility, speak with care, and protect the dignity of every image-bearer. Keep me from pride, pressure, curiosity without love, and ministry beyond my role.

Teach me to see both wounds and blessings. Help me notice missing models without creating shame. Give me courage to refer when deeper care is needed. Help me use every ministry genogram conversation as a place of truth, grace, and faithful next steps.

May the family story never become more powerful than the Gospel. May Christ redeem what is wounded, strengthen what is good, and begin new patterns of love, courage, peace, and calling.

Amen.