📝 Worksheet 11.4: One-on-One and Group Facilitation Plan

Course: PhilMinistry Skills
Topic 11: Leading PhilMinistry Skills in Churches, Soul Centers, and Groups
Worksheet Purpose: This worksheet helps Christian leaders plan how to facilitate PhilMinistry Skills in one-on-one conversations, church classes, Soul Centers, small groups, mentoring settings, coaching conversations, and chaplaincy contexts with truth, love, humility, consent, and safety wisdom.

Opening Thought

PhilMinistry Skills is not only something leaders understand.

It is something leaders facilitate.

A leader may understand Clouser’s ultimate-belief question.
A leader may understand Dooyeweerd’s 15 aspects.
A leader may understand reductionism.
A leader may understand Christian worldview.

But if the leader overwhelms people, argues harshly, exposes private wounds, ignores consent, or turns every conversation into a lecture, the ministry moment can be damaged.

Use this worksheet to build a wise facilitation plan.

The goal is simple:

Help people think clearly before God without taking over, shaming, debating, or flattening the person.

Part 1: Identify Your Ministry Setting

Where will you use PhilMinistry Skills?

Check all that apply:

☐ One-on-one coaching conversation
☐ Chaplaincy conversation
☐ Pastoral care conversation
☐ Mentoring conversation
☐ Soul Center gathering
☐ Small group discussion
☐ Church class
☐ Ministry training session
☐ Family discipleship conversation
☐ Youth or young adult setting
☐ Marriage or premarital conversation
☐ Calling discernment conversation
☐ Identity or embodiment conversation
☐ Other: ________________________________________

Describe the setting:

Who will be present?

What is the main purpose of the conversation or gathering?

Part 2: Clarify Your Role

PhilMinistry Skills must be role-sensitive.

My role is:

☐ Chaplain
☐ Life Coaching Minister
☐ Pastor
☐ Soul Center leader
☐ Small group leader
☐ Mentor
☐ Teacher
☐ Ministry trainer
☐ Friend
☐ Parent or family member
☐ Other: ________________________________________

What am I responsible to do in this role?

What am I not responsible to do in this role?

Where might I be tempted to overstep?

Part 3: Consent-Based Facilitation

Before offering teaching, prayer, advice, Scripture, correction, or a framework, practice asking permission.

Choose two permission questions you could use.

☐ “Would it be helpful if we thought through this from a Christian perspective?”
☐ “Would you like me to listen first, or would you like help discerning a next step?”
☐ “Would it be okay if I shared a Scripture that may give light here?”
☐ “Would it help to look at this from more than one angle?”
☐ “Would you be open to considering whether another kind of support may be needed?”
☐ “Would you like this to stay as reflection, or are you looking for a practical next step?”
☐ “Would it be okay if I asked a few questions before offering any thoughts?”

Permission question 1:

Permission question 2:

Part 4: Clouser Ultimate-Belief Facilitation

Roy Clouser helps leaders ask:

What is being treated as ultimate?

In a ministry conversation, use simple language.

Instead of saying:

“What created aspect are you absolutizing?”

Ask:

“What feels like it has to happen for you to be okay?”

Use this section to prepare gentle questions.

Check any you could use:

☐ “What feels like it has to happen for you to be okay?”
☐ “What are you most afraid of losing?”
☐ “What disappointment has started to define your story?”
☐ “What are you trusting to give you worth, safety, or identity?”
☐ “What feels too heavy right now?”
☐ “What has become more important than it should be?”
☐ “What would feel unbearable if it did not change?”
☐ “Where might success, approval, comfort, control, justice, identity, or usefulness be carrying too much weight?”

My Clouser-style question:

Possible false ultimate in this setting:

☐ Approval
☐ Success
☐ Comfort
☐ Control
☐ Ministry platform
☐ Relationship harmony
☐ Personal freedom
☐ Being right
☐ Avoiding conflict
☐ Identity label
☐ Body image
☐ Gender feelings
☐ Justice
☐ Usefulness
☐ Church growth
☐ Tradition
☐ Other: ________________________________________

Part 5: Dooyeweerd Whole-Life Facilitation

Herman Dooyeweerd helps leaders notice the many-sided structure of created reality.

In facilitation, do not overwhelm people with all 15 aspects unless the setting is clearly a teaching environment.

Use simpler questions.

Check any you could use:

☐ “What part of life feels loudest right now?”
☐ “What part of life may be neglected?”
☐ “What is happening in the body?”
☐ “What emotions are present?”
☐ “What words, labels, or stories are shaping this?”
☐ “Who else is affected?”
☐ “What relationship needs attention?”
☐ “What responsibility may belong to you?”
☐ “What wrong needs naming, protection, or repair?”
☐ “What habit is keeping this alive?”
☐ “What hope feels missing?”
☐ “What does Scripture reveal about the whole person?”

My whole-life question:

Which areas will I especially listen for?

☐ Body
☐ Emotions
☐ Identity
☐ Calling
☐ Relationships
☐ Words or labels
☐ Habits
☐ Justice
☐ Love
☐ Faith
☐ Hope
☐ Safety
☐ Other: ________________________________________

Part 6: One-on-One Facilitation Plan

Use this section if you are preparing for a coaching, chaplaincy, mentoring, pastoral care, or discipleship conversation.

1. Receive the Story

Opening question I will ask:

2. Name the Presenting Concern

What I may say to reflect back what I hear:

“It sounds like ____________________________________________________.”

3. Notice the Whole Person

Three areas I should gently explore:

4. Ask the Ultimate-Trust Question

Question I will use:

5. Identify Reduction Risks

The person may be reducing themselves or the problem to:

☐ One wound
☐ One sin
☐ One label
☐ One diagnosis
☐ One feeling
☐ One relationship
☐ One failure
☐ One gender struggle
☐ One conflict
☐ One ministry role
☐ Other: ________________________________________

6. Bring Scripture with Permission

Scripture I may use:

Permission phrase:

“Would it be okay if I shared a Scripture that __________________________?”

7. Discern One Faithful Next Step

Possible next step:

8. Follow Up or Refer

Follow-up plan:

Referral may be needed if:

Part 7: Group Facilitation Plan

Use this section if you are preparing for a Soul Center, small group, church class, or ministry training session.

Group Topic

The topic we will discuss is:

Group Purpose

By the end of the gathering, the group should be able to:

Group Covenant

Choose covenant statements you will use.

☐ “We will compare ideas without mocking people.”
☐ “We will tell the truth without shaming.”
☐ “We will listen before answering.”
☐ “We will not pressure anyone to share personal details.”
☐ “We will not turn someone’s story into a debate.”
☐ “We will keep confidentiality, except where safety or legal reporting requires help.”
☐ “We will remember that every person here is an image-bearer before God.”
☐ “We will seek wisdom that is pure, peaceful, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy, and fruitful.”

My group covenant opening:

Scripture Anchor

Scripture for the group:

Main Teaching Point

☐ What is being treated as ultimate?
☐ What part of the person is being reduced?
☐ What does Scripture reveal?
☐ What faithful next step honors the whole person before God?
☐ Other: ________________________________________

Main teaching point in one sentence:

Practice Activity

☐ Case study discussion
☐ Fictional scenario
☐ Worksheet reflection
☐ Small group questions
☐ Paired discussion
☐ Silent reflection
☐ Prayer exercise
☐ Whole-Life Discernment Map practice
☐ Other: ________________________________________

Practice activity plan:

Follow-Up

How will I help people take the next step?

Part 8: Handling Sensitive Topics

Some topics need extra care.

Check any that may come up:

☐ Depression
☐ Anxiety
☐ Trauma
☐ Abuse
☐ Addiction
☐ Marriage conflict
☐ Divorce
☐ Body shame
☐ Gender confusion
☐ Sexuality
☐ Church hurt
☐ Family wounds
☐ Justice or power issues
☐ Calling failure
☐ Suicidal thinking
☐ Other: ________________________________________

How will I protect people from overexposure?

How will I keep private stories from becoming group debate material?

Helpful phrase:

“Let’s discuss this through the case study rather than asking anyone to share personal details.”

My version:

Part 9: Redirecting Debate Back to Discernment

Group discussion can drift into debate.

Warning signs:

☐ People stop listening.
☐ Someone becomes sarcastic.
☐ A loud voice controls the room.
☐ The room divides into sides.
☐ Someone’s story becomes an argument.
☐ Scripture is used harshly.
☐ The original ministry concern disappears.
☐ People begin reacting instead of discerning.

Practice redirecting.

Helpful phrases:

“Let’s pause.”

“I want us to test the idea without labeling the person.”

“We are not going to debate someone’s pain.”

“Let’s bring this back to Scripture and whole-life discernment.”

“What is this idea noticing that is real?”

“What is it making ultimate?”

“What is it reducing?”

“How can we speak about this in a way that honors the person before God?”

My redirect phrase:

Part 10: Invite, Teach, Practice, Reflect, Follow Up

Use this pathway for classes, groups, Soul Centers, and ministry training.

Invite

How will you explain why this matters?

My invitation statement:

Teach

What one concept will you teach?

☐ False ultimates
☐ Reductionism
☐ Whole-Life Discernment Map
☐ Identity before God
☐ Organic woman and organic man
☐ Calling and faithful next steps
☐ Role-sensitive ministry
☐ Other: ________________________________________

My teaching sentence:

Practice

What example or case will you use?

Reflect

What personal reflection question will you ask?

Follow Up

What will people do after the session?

Part 11: Safety and Referral Check

PhilMinistry facilitation is not a replacement for pastoral care, counseling, medical care, crisis support, abuse intervention, legal protection, or emergency help.

Check any referral or safety concerns:

☐ Suicidal thinking
☐ Self-harm
☐ Threats toward others
☐ Domestic violence
☐ Abuse or exploitation
☐ Severe depression or anxiety
☐ Psychosis or delusion
☐ Addiction crisis
☐ Medical danger
☐ Unsafe home, church, or ministry conditions
☐ Gender distress with crisis-level suffering
☐ Legal or child protection concerns
☐ None immediately evident
☐ Unsure; I need supervision or pastoral guidance

If referral may be needed, what is the next wise step?

Helpful phrase:

“This matters too much for you to carry alone. Let’s bring in the right kind of care.”

My version:

Part 12: Final Facilitation Plan

Summarize your plan.

My setting:

My role:

My main goal:

My Scripture anchor:

My Clouser-style question:

My whole-life discernment question:

My group or conversation boundary:

My one faithful next-step question:

My referral/safety reminder:

Prayer

Lord Jesus,

Teach me to lead with truth and love together.

Give me patience to listen before answering.
Give me courage to guide without controlling.
Give me wisdom to teach without overwhelming.
Give me tenderness with wounded people.
Give me clarity when ideas need testing.
Give me humility to stay within my role.
Give me courage to protect the vulnerable.
Give me discernment to refer when more care is needed.

Help me facilitate conversations where people are not reduced, mocked, pressured, or ignored, but seen as whole persons before you.

Amen.

Final Reflection

Write one paragraph answering this question:

What kind of facilitator am I becoming: one who takes over, avoids tension, debates, lectures, stays passive, or guides people wisely before God?

Simple Practice for This Week

In one conversation or group this week, practice this facilitation pattern:

1. Ask permission before guiding.

2. Listen for what may be ultimate.

3. Notice what part of the person may be reduced.

4. Bring Scripture with humility.

5. Help identify one faithful next step.