The Historic Christian Meaning of Marriage

Henry Reyenga

So today we're going to talk about the historic Christian meaning of marriage.

First of all, I can say that no matter what Christian tradition you're part of, there are certain threads. As an Advanced Wedding Officiant, you should be aware of some of these threads that run throughout Christendom and see how they are all really part of that beautiful biblical tapestry.

Now, different traditions understand marriage with different nuances.

I'll give an example.

The Catholic tradition clearly understands marriage as a sacrament. It's one of the sacraments, and it actually makes sense because if marriage is a covenant between a man and a woman, and there is a spiritual piece to it, nothing is more powerful in the understanding of marriage than communion with Christ.

Christ in us is the hope of glory, and Christ changes our lives.

Whether someone is Protestant, Catholic, or whatever, we can thank the Lord for that understanding in traditions that view marriage as a sacrament.

I don't specifically believe it needs to be understood as a sacrament because the Bible doesn't explicitly go there. That's part of the theology of the Catholic Church.

However, I have no problem when a Christian couple wants to get married and the officiant brings them through a communion service, because it is powerful to think of covenant as sacramental.

Even at minimum, when a couple gets married, they are laying down their lives for one another in remembrance of Christ laying down His life for us.

That's powerful theological and church historical thinking.

Other traditions in the Christian world are very covenantal as well, including the Catholic Church.

Marriage is a covenant, and different traditions emphasize different pieces of that covenant.

In some church traditions, becoming an officiant is still closely connected to the state.

In some nations, especially in parts of Europe, there is either a state wedding or a church wedding, but the church minister clearly functions as an agent of the state.

As a result, that historical connection often becomes part of the message and understanding of marriage.

In some places, such as the Netherlands, the state piece is separated very clearly from the ministerial piece.

Someone may go to the courthouse and receive the legal union from the state, and then go to the church for the ceremony.

In those cases, the officiant may not even need to register with the government. That is my understanding, though if you're in the Netherlands, you should verify the current requirements.

I'm speaking from an American perspective.

In the United States, however, the government generally wants a minister to participate in the marriage process.

I believe there is a common understanding that covenant—the promise of "till death do us part"—is a powerful foundation for society.

Christianity goes even further.

Marriage is not only a powerful foundation for society; it is the place where God created a man and a woman to be united.

It's not just romance.

It's not just sex.

It's not just companionship.

It's not family expectations.

The common thread throughout Christianity is that marriage is a covenant.

Historic Christianity has consistently treated marriage as something more than private.

We live in a world where many people believe that marriage is simply "your truth."

"My truth is my truth."

"My marriage is my marriage."

"My arrangement is my arrangement."

That is how many people see things today.

You can have expectations of marriage that involve same-sex relationships. You can have expectations of marriage that are temporary, where the vows are only "for now."

The Christian view is different.

Now, I want to be careful and tender in how I talk about this.

Our goal is not to criticize people who do not know the Lord or who do not recognize the authority of the Bible.

Our goal is not to become people who criticize everything.

Our goal is to advocate for the biblical view.

As a Christian wedding officiant, that is what we do.

We do not do it from a position of judgment toward people who are still in process.

For example, someone may attend a university and encounter what I would call philosophical confusion. They may be taught forms of postmodern philosophy where truth becomes relative.

They may hear ideas such as:

"I experience, therefore I am."

"What I feel is who I am."

In that environment, marriage is often reinterpreted around personal feelings and personal truth.

If "my truth is my truth," then marriage becomes whatever an individual decides it should be.

This is how confusion can happen.

A Christian wedding officiant may find themselves speaking with someone who is wrestling with these questions.

Someone may ask:

"What does Christianity believe about marriage?"

And that's an important opportunity.

The historic Christian view is that while denominations may explain it differently and theologize about it in various ways, the thread that runs through historic Christianity is clear:

One man and one woman come together in a covenant union.

It is intended to be a lifelong union of marriage.

Children may be born from that union.

The couple experiences not only a physical union but also a spiritual union.

That is the thread of historic Christianity.

In some traditions, marriage is elevated to the level of a sacrament.

In other traditions, it is not formally called a sacrament.

But even there, God is invited into the marriage in a sacramental sense—a self-giving, covenantal sense where His blessing is sought and His presence is welcomed.

He is part of the marriage.

The historic Christian view of marriage is actually agreed upon in far more ways than many people realize.

And that's exciting.

The message of Christianity is a message that transforms lives everywhere.