The Christian Wedding Ceremony: Its Meaning and Structure

Henry Reyenga

Yeah, so now we're going to get into the nuts and bolts of the ceremony itself—the Christian wedding ceremony—in the beauty of its construction, its design, and how it was built to communicate the meaning of covenant.

Marriage was created by God as an institution before the human fall into sin. In fact, there are passages where Jesus quotes Genesis chapter 2: "A man will leave his father and mother and cleave to his wife, and they shall become one flesh."

So the ceremony is that preamble moment that begins the covenant relationship.

First of all, one comment: this is public. A Christian wedding ceremony is a public witness. It's not just a family celebration. It's not just a legal moment. It's a Christian public witness.

When a bride and groom stand before God, witnesses, family, and friends, the wedding minister is helping declare something larger than the couple's love story.

The ceremony points to God's design for marriage, the covenant seriousness of vows, the beauty of one man and one woman becoming husband and wife, and the grace of Christ that forms faithful love.

This does not mean the ceremony needs to become long, overly heavy, or overly formal, although formality can be beautiful too.

A Christian ceremony can be warm, joyful, personal, and brief, but it should not be empty of meaning.

The wedding minister is not merely hosting a celebration. The wedding minister is leading a sacred covenant moment.

This is covenant, not contract.

The bride comes as an organic female, an image-bearer of God. The groom comes as an organic male, an image-bearer before God.

They are embodied souls—living souls, spiritual and physical—coming together to become one, leaving father and mother to become one flesh.

The ceremony should honor this whole-person reality.

A faithful ceremony usually includes these elements. Now, I know in various places in the world there may be different arrangements, but in America this is a very strong ceremony structure that not only meets the law of the land but also honors the biblical design of covenant marriage.

1. The Gathering

The gathering is the people coming to the wedding as witnesses, not just an audience.

The gathering includes the walking down the aisle. It could be the grandparents, then the parents, excluding the father of the bride. It could be the groomsmen and bridesmaids.

These are all things to discuss when planning the wedding—how that processional is going to look and the pageantry of it all.

But it is all about the gathering of witnesses, because something amazing is about to happen. A man and woman are about to leave father and mother, cleave to each other, and become one flesh.

This is what it is all about. This is the purpose of the officiant. This is the vision that is about to come to life.

2. The Giving of the Bride

This represents the formal transfer, so to speak, of household, as a new household is being formed.

This is usually accomplished when the father brings the daughter down the aisle, and at the end of that procession the officiant may say something like:

"Who gives this woman to this man?"

And the father says:

"Her mother and I."

Now, there are other variations of that.

But that walk down the aisle, even if there is no family involved, still symbolizes something special.

This is a new and exclusive relationship apart from all other relationships.

One man and one woman enter into an exclusive covenant relationship of fidelity and partnership for as long as they both shall live.

No matter what the family structure or friendship structure may be, the giving of the bride symbolizes walking out of all other relationships and into this special covenant relationship.

3. The Opening Prayer

This is where the minister invites God's presence and blessing over the ceremony.

4. The Biblical Framing

As you know, I have this practically memorized.

Marriage, as designed by God, is a covenant union between a man and a woman to live in lifelong fidelity and partnership.

If marriage is to be pursued faithfully, couples depend upon the Holy Spirit to help them.

Again, I'm shortening this for illustration purposes.

We have resources and samples available, but the purpose is to frame the Christian message.

Before the vows and before the message, there should be a clear understanding of what they are entering into.

This is a covenant relationship between a man and a woman, designed by God for love and fidelity, and Scripture teaches this.

The teaching of Scripture informs what they are entering into.

5. The Declaration of Intent

Now the bride and groom have heard the will of God for marriage.

They publicly declare their desire to enter into this covenant with faithful commitment.

Why is this so important?

In some states it is actually required by law.

There must be a declaration of intent.

In other words, the individuals willingly and knowingly enter into the state of marriage.

Not every place requires this, but in many locations the declaration of intent is very important.

6. The Vows

These may be repeat-after-me vows, or they may be written by the couple and approved by the minister.

7. The Rings

The rings are signs of covenant faithfulness.

They indicate to the world that this person is in an exclusive covenant relationship.

8. The Unity Ceremony

This may be the lighting of a unity candle, a sand ceremony, or another meaningful symbolic act.

It symbolizes the joining of two lives into one covenant household.

Remember the passage: leaving father and mother, cleaving together, and becoming one flesh.

After the ring ceremony, many couples include a unity candle, a sand ceremony, or another symbolic representation of that union.

9. The Wedding Message

The officiant encourages the couple, honors their story, and points them toward God's design for marriage.

10. Communion (Optional)

In some Christian ceremonies, communion may be included as a sacred reminder that Christ is the center of the covenant.

In some traditions, such as the Catholic tradition, marriage is viewed as a sacrament.

11. The Prayer of Blessing

The minister asks God to strengthen what human beings cannot sustain through willpower alone.

12. The Pronouncement

The minister publicly declares the bride and groom husband and wife according to the covenant they have entered into and the civil authority involved.

You might say:

"By the authority vested in me by the Church of God and by the authority of the State of Michigan..."

Or whatever state or governing authority applies.

The ecclesiastical authority may come through the Christian Leaders Alliance or another church body in which you are ordained.

Then you say:

"I now pronounce you husband and wife, in the name of the Father, and of the Son, and of the Holy Spirit. What God has joined together, let no one separate."

Quoting the words of Jesus.

Then you say:

"Jason, you may kiss Sarah."

Or:

"You may kiss the bride."

After the kiss, you turn the couple toward the audience and say:

"It is my honor to present to you Mr. and Mrs. Thomas Smith."

Or:

"Thomas and Elizabeth Smith."

Whatever they have chosen.

Everyone applauds, the music begins, the recessional starts, and the couple walks back through the gathered witnesses.

The ceremony is complete.

It is a beautiful thing.

Even as I talk about it, I love it.

This is the creation of a covenant marriage.

Now, if you're an officiant and you do this one time, wonderful.

If this is something you want to pursue as a marriage ministry, whether as a life coach, chaplain, staff minister, or senior pastor, this is central to Christian ministry.

This message is so core to Christianity.

What marriage means is a beautiful thing.

So there you have it—the elements of a Christian wedding ceremony.

Again, there may be an element here or there that you choose to adjust.

Some ceremonies have a shorter wedding message.

Some do not include a unity candle.

Many of those decisions are made between the officiant and the couple as you design the covenant ceremony together.

I want to say one more thing.

In many ways, this is Christianity at the cutting edge of evangelism.

People come as witnesses from all backgrounds of life.

While they are there, they are seeing something God designed—something that causes them to think.

Many people who are not Christians still desire a Christian-style wedding, even if they do not fully understand what it means.

Yet there is something powerful about covenant, even at the creational level.

But when Jesus Christ and the power of the Holy Spirit are included, that covenant reality becomes a lifelong relationship of love and fidelity, where children are born, a new household is created, and God is glorified.