Before, During, and After Signing the Marriage License

Speaker: Henry Reyenga

So we're back today. We're going to go deep into the signing of the license.

You may say, "Well, I think you mentioned it before, Professor."

Yes, I did, but now I'm going deeper because there are so many details here. Because that license carries such authority and is so life-changing in the eyes of the state, I really want to make sure that we go through this in detail so you are more confident.

One of the most practical responsibilities of a wedding minister is the marriage license. I'm going to pretty much stay close to my script because I want to make sure that I communicate this as clearly as I can.

The marriage license is not the whole meaning of marriage. Christian marriage is a covenant before God. It is a public promise between one man and one woman made before God and witnesses.

In most places, the minister has a civil responsibility connected to the legal recognition of the marriage. I mentioned previously that, in the Netherlands, I believe you only have the religious ceremonial responsibility. But in most places, you are responsible for that legal administration.

This course offers ministry training, not legal advice. Civil requirements vary by state, county, province, nation, and local jurisdiction. The wedding minister must verify the requirements where the wedding will occur.

Do not assume. Do not guess. Do not rely on what happened at a wedding you once officiated somewhere else.

Before the wedding, the minister should ask several practical questions:

• Has the couple obtained the marriage license?

• Is the license valid for the location where the ceremony will occur?

The "where" is very important.

I used to live in Illinois near the Indiana border. There were people from Illinois who would get married at a location in Indiana, and I would always remind them, "Make sure you get your Indiana license, not the Illinois license."

"Oh, why?" they would say. "We live in Illinois."

No, you have to have a valid license for where you are getting married.

Other important questions include:

• Is there a waiting period?

• Is there an expiration date?

• Who must sign the license?

• Are witnesses required?

• How many witnesses are required?

• Where must the license be returned?

• Who is responsible for returning it?

• What is the deadline?

These details matter.

A beautiful ceremony can become a painful memory if the license is mishandled.

The minister should confirm the couple's legal names. Nicknames, preferred names, and ceremony names may be different from the names required on the license.

Use warmth and care, but be accurate. The legal document must be handled correctly.

During the wedding day, the minister should know where the license is.

It should not be lost in a car, left with a photographer, buried under decorations, or forgotten at the reception.

Decide ahead of time when and where the signing will happen.

Some ministers sign after the ceremony. Some sign privately with witnesses. Some sign at a table during the service.

The most important thing is to follow the law of the jurisdiction and the expectations of the couple and the setting.

Again, I think in most cases you will not sign before the ceremony, but there are places where that may occur.

A minister should not sign the license before the ceremony unless that is legally appropriate.

The minister should not sign if the ceremony did not happen.

The minister should not sign if the document appears invalid, incomplete, expired, or connected to the wrong jurisdiction.

If something is wrong, slow down and verify with the proper civil authorities.

After the ceremony, the minister should make sure the license is completed and returned according to legal requirements.

In some places, the couple returns it. In other places, the minister returns it. In some places, either may do so.

The minister must know the rules.

When, as a minister, I am required to return it somewhere, I will actually verify it. Either I will take a witness with me that I mailed it, or I will take a picture of myself at the mailbox or post office.

Why do I do that?

Because early in my ministry, I know I mailed something, but it got lost in the mail. I think the couple's parents thought I dropped the ball and never put it in the mailbox.

This was way before cell phones and everything like that.

Today, what I would do is confirm that I did, in fact, mail the license.

For a one-time wedding officiant, this may be the most stressful part. Prepare ahead of time.

Call the issuing office if needed.

Ask the couple to bring the license to the rehearsal.

Read the instructions before the wedding day.

For an ordained wedding officiant, create a checklist.

Each wedding should include:

• License verification

• Ceremony completion

• Signature requirements

• Witness signatures, if needed

• Return instructions

• Record keeping

For the church staff minister, clarify whether the church office keeps copies, logs weddings, or handles license mailing.

Do not assume the senior pastor, office manager, or wedding coordinator has taken care of it.

For the chaplain, be especially careful in hospital, hospice, elder care, correctional facility, and crisis weddings.

Questions of capacity, consent, timing, family pressure, and institutional policy may be involved.

The chaplain should not act alone in complex situations.

For the life coach minister, remember that coaching preparation is not the same as civil authorization.

If you are not the officiant, do not take responsibility for the license.

However, as an ordained life coach minister through Christian Leaders Alliance, if you are ordained, you may have that authority.

Still, putting on that civil responsibility hat may not be something you ordinarily do.

The marriage license is not romantic, but handling it faithfully is part of loving the couple well.

A Christian wedding minister honors God, serves the bride and groom, respects the witnesses, and fulfills civil responsibilities with care.

Before, during, and after handling the marriage license, be clear, be careful, and be faithful.