Leading Interested People to Christ with Respect and Clarity

Henry Reyenga

Yeah, so sometimes marriage ministry brings you surprises from a minister's standpoint.

You know, we're talking about the topic of marriage, and sometimes there can be complicated situations. Somebody may come with an entirely different worldview and want you to marry them, perform the ceremony, and you have to say no.

Sometimes people come with that entirely different worldview, and they're still wondering about Christianity. They inquire right there in the meeting about things.

I can say that if I look back at my ministry, leading people to Jesus Christ through the marriage topic was surprisingly common because the marriage topic itself has a lot of trepidation with it.

People are afraid. They've gone through a lot of triggers. Each person has a story. Each person is afraid because, to get into a legal contract, to be with someone, getting the state involved, getting the family involved, all of these things come into play.

A lot of times they're there because they're motivated by romance or sexual chemistry. They think they want to be married. They want to have children. But deep down, there's a fear inside of them that only God can heal.

I believe that.

And they're coming to you, a minister.

Again, I am amazed at how many times people come to you as a minister and are curious about the gospel. Wedding ministry opens up spiritual conversations.

A couple may meet with you because they want a Christian wedding, but during the conversation something deeper begins to happen.

They ask about prayer.

They ask about God.

They ask what it means to follow Christ.

Again, you can prompt that just a little bit by saying, "I'm glad you've come to a Christian wedding officiant. If you're interested, ask me some things about my walk with God, about what it means to be a Christian, about how Christ can help your marriage."

"If you're interested, I'd love not only to talk about the wedding and what it means to have a Christian ceremony, but also about having a walking relationship with God. If you're interested, go ahead and ask. If I don't know the answer, I will help you find it."

They may ask about prayer.

They may ask about God.

They may ask what it means to follow Christ.

They may say, "We grew up around church, but we drifted."

Or, "We want God in our marriage, but we don't really know where that begins."

Or they may say, "I know nothing about Christianity, but my mother is a thoroughgoing church person and wants us to have a Christian wedding. What does that mean?"

Do not pressure people.

When people are interested in Christ, the wedding minister should be ready.

Do not manipulate.

Do not turn wedding planning into a forced altar call.

But also do not miss the open door.

If the bride, groom, or family members are spiritually interested, the minister can gently guide them toward Jesus Christ.

The first step is to listen.

Ask simple questions:

• What is your spiritual journey?

• What has your spiritual journey been like?

• What made you want a Christian wedding?

• Where do you sense God at work in your life right now?

• Have you personally trusted Christ Jesus as your Savior and Lord?

These questions are not meant to trap people.

They are invitations.

They help the minister understand whether the person is curious, confused, convicted, wounded, resistant, or ready.

Now, in this whole process, I want to stress confidentiality.

This could be an ongoing discussion.

Do not tell the senior pastor, if you're a wedding minister, "Hey, they're considering becoming Christians."

Do not put it on Facebook.

No.

This is a very tender thing.

If somebody is entrusting you with their spiritual destiny, take it confidentially. Take it slowly.

It is not yours to share.

This is their testimony to give.

You may say:

"The Christian message is that God created us for life with Him, but sin separated us from God. We cannot save ourselves by being religious, successful, moral, or sincere. God sent His Son, Jesus Christ, who lived without sin, died on the cross for our sins, and rose again. When we repent and trust in Christ, God forgives us, makes us new, and brings us into eternal life with Him."

That is a very simple gospel presentation.

And it is that simple gospel presentation that has brought young brides and grooms to tears because their spiritual hunger is so strong.

It's like a hot knife through butter. It can cut right through.

This is what they want.

They're afraid deep down, but they love each other, and they know their soul will find no rest until it rests in God.

Keep it clear.

Keep it personal.

Keep it centered on Christ.

The third step is to invite a response.

You may ask:

• Is this something you want for your life?

• Would you like to put your trust in Christ today?

• Would you like me to lead you in a prayer of repentance and faith?

Again, don't rush them.

Some people need time.

Some need another conversation.

Some need to connect to a church.

Some are ready right away.

If they want to pray with you, lead them in a simple prayer like this:

"Lord Jesus, I believe You are the Son of God. I confess that I am a sinner, and I need Your grace. Thank You for dying on the cross for my sins and rising again. I turn from my sin and put my trust in You. Forgive me, make me new, and lead my life from this day forward. Amen."

Some people call that the sinner's prayer.

But this prayer is not magic.

The words themselves do not save.

Christ saves.

The prayer gives voice to repentance and faith.

The fourth step is to encourage follow-up.

A new believer needs more than a moment.

They need Scripture.

They need prayer.

They need Christian community.

They need baptism.

They need discipleship and ongoing growth.

Encourage them to read the Gospel of John.

Maybe encourage them to take a Christian Leaders Institute class.

Encourage them to pray daily.

Encourage them to go to YouVersion and follow a Bible reading plan.

Encourage them to connect with other believers and a Bible-believing church.

Invite them to your church.

If you are doing wedding ministry, it's a perfect tie-in.

"Hey, come to church on Sunday and sit with us."

When you invite someone to church, invite them to come and sit with you.

For a one-time wedding officiant, be ready for one honest conversation.

You may not become their pastor, but you can point them to Christ.

You can refer them, encourage them, and invite them to your church.

For an ordained wedding officiant, build a simple gospel conversation pathway into your ministry practice.

I would strongly recommend it.

You will be surprised how many times this comes up.

For a church staff minister, connect interested people into the church discipleship pathway.

For a chaplain, honor the setting.

In hospitals, hospice care facilities, correctional facilities, and public institutions, do not coerce.

Offer spiritual care with consent, respect, and dignity.

For life coach ministers, stay within your role.

You can lead someone to Christ, but remember that you are bearing witness to Christ.

Do not confuse coaching with pastoral authority or counseling.

Remember, though, that you are a minister and a life coach minister.

This is not just coaching.

It is okay to put on the ministry hat and say:

"Would you like to hear about the gospel?"

Be ready.

Listen well.

Share clearly.

Invite gently.

Pray sincerely.

Follow up wisely.

When people are interested in Jesus Christ, a faithful minister does not push them away, pressure them, or ignore them.

A faithful minister points them to our Savior, to truth, to grace, to love, to humility, and to connection with the God of the universe.