🧪 Case Study: “He Asked Me a Question”
🧪 Case Study: “He Asked Me a Question”
Topic 2: Jesus the Master Coach
Course: Coaching Ministry Foundations
Marcus had recently begun helping with a men’s group at his church. He was not the main teacher, but the pastor had noticed that men often stayed afterward to talk with him. Marcus was steady, approachable, and sincere. He cared deeply about people. But he also had one problem.
He talked too much.
When someone shared a struggle, Marcus usually knew what Bible verse to quote, what advice to give, and what action step to recommend. He meant well, but sometimes the men smiled politely and never followed through.
One evening, after the group study, a younger man named Daniel lingered near the coffee table. Daniel was married, had two children, and had recently changed jobs. He looked restless.
Marcus asked, “How are things going?”
Daniel shrugged. “Honestly? I don’t know. I feel like I’m failing everywhere. At work, at home, spiritually. I pray, but I don’t feel close to God. I come home tired, and my wife says I’m distant. I don’t even know what I want anymore.”
Marcus immediately felt the urge to respond. He wanted to say, “You need to get back into the Word,” or “You should schedule a date night,” or “You need accountability.” None of those things were wrong. But that week Marcus had been studying the way Jesus ministered to people.
He remembered Jesus asking Peter, “But who do you say that I am?” (Matthew 16:15, WEB). Jesus could have simply told Peter the answer. Instead, He drew out Peter’s confession.
Marcus also remembered Jesus asking the man near the pool of Bethesda, “Do you want to be made well?” (John 5:6, WEB). Jesus did not assume the man’s readiness. He invited him to name his desire.
So Marcus paused.
Instead of giving advice, he asked, “Daniel, when you say you feel like you’re failing everywhere, where do you feel that most deeply right now?”
Daniel looked surprised. He stared down at his coffee cup.
“At home,” he said quietly. “I think my wife sees it before anyone else does.”
Marcus nodded. “What do you think she sees?”
Daniel’s eyes filled with tears. “She sees that I’m present, but not really present. I sit on the couch. I scroll. I answer the kids with one-word answers. Then I tell myself I’m just tired. But maybe I’m hiding.”
Marcus thought of Genesis 3:9, where God called to Adam, “Where are you?” (WEB). God did not ask because He lacked information. He asked because Adam needed to come out of hiding.
Marcus said gently, “That sounds important. What do you think you might be hiding from?”
Daniel breathed deeply. “I think I’m afraid that I’m not enough. Not enough as a provider. Not enough as a husband. Not enough as a Christian.”
Marcus wanted to fix it. He wanted to rush in with reassurance. But he remembered Jesus with Nicodemus, allowing a real conversation to unfold at night. He remembered Jesus restoring Peter not by shaming him, but by asking, “Do you love me?” and then calling him forward: “Feed my sheep” (John 21:17, WEB).
Marcus said, “Daniel, I hear a man who is tired, but I also hear a man who cares deeply. What do you sense God may be inviting you to face honestly?”
Daniel wiped his eyes. “I need to stop pretending I’m just busy. I need to tell my wife what I just told you.”
Marcus asked, “What would be one faithful next step this week?”
Daniel said, “Tonight, I’ll ask her if we can talk after the kids go to bed. Not to defend myself. Just to be honest.”
Marcus then asked, “Would it be okay if I prayed for courage and grace for that conversation?”
Daniel nodded.
Marcus prayed simply, “Lord Jesus, You see Daniel. You know where he is. Thank You that You do not condemn those who come into the light. Give him courage to speak truth, humility to listen, and grace to take one faithful next step. Amen.”
The next week Daniel returned to the men’s group. He told Marcus, “That question you asked me stayed with me: ‘What are you hiding from?’ I talked with my wife. It was hard, but good. We prayed together for the first time in months.”
Marcus drove home humbled. He realized that coaching in the footsteps of Jesus did not mean having the perfect answer. Sometimes it meant asking the question that helped someone stand before God honestly.
He whispered a prayer: “Jesus, teach me to walk as You walked.”
1 John 2:6 says, “He who says he remains in him ought himself also to walk just like he walked” (WEB).
Marcus was beginning to understand that Life Coaching Ministry was not about becoming impressive. It was about becoming more like Jesus.
Ministry Sciences Reflection
Ministry Sciences helps us see Daniel as a whole person before God. His struggle is not only a time management issue, a marriage issue, a work issue, or a spiritual discipline issue. It is all of these connected together.
Daniel is carrying emotional exhaustion, vocational pressure, marital distance, spiritual dryness, fear of failure, and hidden shame. If Marcus reduces the problem to one quick answer, he may miss the deeper work God is doing.
Jesus’ coaching posture gives Marcus a better way. Jesus often began with presence, attention, and questions. He noticed people. He listened beneath the surface. He asked questions that revealed desire, fear, faith, identity, and readiness.
This case shows three important movements in Life Coaching Ministry:
Truth: Daniel names what is really happening. He is not merely busy. He is hiding. Jesus said, “You will know the truth, and the truth will make you free” (John 8:32, WEB).
Grace: Marcus does not shame Daniel. He receives him with patience and dignity. Jesus came “full of grace and truth” (John 1:14, WEB), and the Life Coach Minister reflects that same spirit.
Action: Daniel chooses one faithful next step. He will have an honest conversation with his wife. James 1:22 says, “But be doers of the word, and not only hearers, deluding your own selves” (WEB).
Marcus also practices healthy humility. He does not become Daniel’s savior, therapist, or controller. He does not take over Daniel’s marriage. He does not tell Daniel exactly what to say. Instead, he helps Daniel discern what God may already be inviting him to do.
Proverbs 20:5 says, “Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out” (WEB). This is the ministry science skill Marcus is learning. He is not forcing insight. He is drawing it out through Spirit-led presence, careful listening, and wise questions.
Through the example of Jesus, Marcus learns that coaching is not passive. It is deeply engaged. But it is engaged with humility. The coach listens, asks, reflects, prays with permission, and points the person toward faithful action before God.
Case Study Reflection Questions
What was Marcus’ first instinct when Daniel began sharing his struggle?
How did Marcus begin to coach more like Jesus?
Why was the question “Where do you feel that most deeply right now?” more helpful than quick advice?
What signs showed that Daniel was hiding beneath busyness and exhaustion?
Where do you see Truth, Grace, and Action in this case study?
How did Marcus avoid becoming Daniel’s fixer?
Why was it important that Marcus asked permission before praying?
Which example from Jesus’ ministry best connects with Marcus’ coaching posture?
How does Proverbs 20:5 help explain the role of wise coaching questions?
What is one way you can practice coaching in the footsteps of Jesus this week?