Worksheet: Choosing the Right Coaching Style
Worksheet: Choosing the Right Coaching Style and Using CLI Courses for Growth
Course Title: Coaching Ministry Foundations
Topic 11: Three Coaching Styles
Presentation Title: Three Coaching Styles in Ministry Contexts
Reading Title: Using Christian Leaders Institute Courses for Directive Insight in Coaching Conversations
Case Study Title: Three Conversations at the Soul Center
Worksheet Purpose
This worksheet helps students practice discerning when to use non-directive, semi-directive, and directive coaching in Life Coaching Ministry. It also helps students learn how to use Christian Leaders Institute courses, especially Flourishing Life Courses designed for the public, as helpful resources for directive insight, growth assignments, and continued coaching conversations.
A Life Coach Minister does not use courses to control people, avoid listening, or replace the Holy Spirit. Courses are ministry tools. They can provide biblical teaching, practical reflection, and structured growth around specific topics such as Anger Reset, Spiritual Growth, Marriage Growth, Becoming Confident Around Men as a Woman, Becoming Confident Around Women as a Man, and other courses being added for Christian flourishing.
Part 1: Opening Scripture Reflection
Read the following passages from the World English Bible.
James 1:19
“So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
Proverbs 20:5
“Counsel in the heart of man is like deep water; but a man of understanding will draw it out.”
Colossians 4:6
“Let your speech always be with grace, seasoned with salt, that you may know how you ought to answer each one.”
2 Timothy 3:16–17
“Every Scripture is God-breathed and profitable for teaching, for reproof, for correction, and for instruction in righteousness, that each person who belongs to God may be complete, thoroughly equipped for every good work.”
Psalm 119:105
“Your word is a lamp to my feet, and a light for my path.”
Reflection Questions:
Which passage best connects with non-directive coaching? Why?
Which passage best connects with semi-directive coaching? Why?
Which passage best connects with directive coaching? Why?
How does Scripture help the Life Coach Minister know when to listen, when to guide, and when to offer clear instruction?
Why should every course recommendation be offered with grace, humility, and permission?
Part 2: Understanding the Three Coaching Styles
Write a brief definition for each coaching style in your own words.
Non-directive coaching:
Semi-directive coaching:
Directive coaching:
Complete the following sentences.
Non-directive coaching is especially helpful when the person needs:
Semi-directive coaching is especially helpful when the person needs:
Directive coaching is especially helpful when the person needs:
Now answer:
Which coaching style is most connected to listening and drawing out?
Which coaching style is most connected to offering gentle insight or resources?
Which coaching style is most connected to clear biblical instruction, warning, or accountability?
Why should the Life Coach Minister avoid using only one style in every conversation?
Part 3: Connecting Coaching Styles to CLI Courses
Christian Leaders Institute courses can be especially helpful when a person is ready for more structured learning, biblical teaching, practical exercises, and guided reflection.
Examples of useful course topics include:
Anger Reset
Spiritual Growth
Marriage Growth
Becoming Confident Around Men as a Woman
Becoming Confident Around Women as a Man
Other Flourishing Life Courses being added for public Christian growth
Answer the following:
How could a CLI course support a Ministry Coaching Conversation?
Why should the coach listen carefully before recommending a course?
How can a course provide directive insight without making the coach controlling?
Why is it important to ask permission before recommending a course?
What is the difference between saying, “You need to take this course,” and saying, “Would it be helpful to consider a course that addresses this topic?”
Part 4: Personal Coaching Style Reflection
Which coaching style feels most natural to you?
Which coaching style feels least natural to you?
Do you tend to give advice too quickly?
Do you tend to avoid speaking clearly when truth needs to be named?
Do you tend to recommend resources before fully understanding the person’s story?
How can you grow in adapting your coaching style to the person’s readiness rather than your own personality?
How could CLI courses help you serve more wisely without becoming the fixer?
Part 5: Ministry Context Reflection
Think about your current or future ministry setting.
Where might you use coaching styles and CLI course recommendations?
In a church ministry setting:
In a Soul Center setting:
In a chaplaincy setting:
In a small group or mentoring setting:
In a family or friendship conversation:
In a Life Coaching Ministry conversation with someone from the public:
Answer the following:
What kinds of issues do people often bring to your ministry context?
Which of those issues might benefit from a Flourishing Life Course?
What would make it important to discern the right coaching style before recommending a course?
How can course-based learning continue the growth that begins in a coaching conversation?
Part 6: Case Study Reflection
Review the case study, Three Conversations at the Soul Center.
Keisha needed space to process spiritual numbness and fear.
Grant needed biblical wisdom and parenting guidance.
Olivia needed clear truth about secrecy and emotional unfaithfulness.
Answer the following:
Why was non-directive coaching appropriate for Keisha?
What could have gone wrong if Darius had given Keisha quick advice or assigned a course too soon?
Why was semi-directive coaching appropriate for Grant?
How could Darius have used a CLI course or Flourishing Life Course with Grant if a related course were available?
Why was directive coaching appropriate for Olivia?
Why would a course alone not be enough for Olivia’s situation?
How did Darius speak truth without becoming harsh or controlling?
Which conversation would have been hardest for you? Why?
What did Darius do well as a Life Coach Minister?
Where could a course recommendation fit naturally in one of these conversations?
Part 7: Matching Courses to Coaching Situations
For each situation below, identify a possible CLI course or Flourishing Life Course that might help. Then identify the coaching style you would likely use first.
Situation 1: A man says, “I keep exploding at my children, and I hate what I am becoming.”
Possible course:
First coaching style:
Why?
Situation 2: A woman says, “I feel spiritually dry. I want to grow, but I do not know where to begin.”
Possible course:
First coaching style:
Why?
Situation 3: A married couple says, “We are not in crisis, but we feel distant and want to rebuild our marriage.”
Possible course:
First coaching style:
Why?
Situation 4: A woman says, “I feel nervous and unsure around men. I want to grow in confidence and wisdom.”
Possible course:
First coaching style:
Why?
Situation 5: A man says, “I feel awkward and insecure around women. I want to relate with purity, confidence, and respect.”
Possible course:
First coaching style:
Why?
Situation 6: A person says, “I need help, but I do not know what the real issue is.”
Possible course:
First coaching style:
Why?
Part 8: Practicing Non-Directive Coaching Before Recommending a Course
Non-directive coaching focuses on listening, asking, reflecting, and creating safe space. Before recommending a course, the Life Coach Minister should usually listen well enough to understand the person’s real issue.
Write five non-directive coaching questions or responses you could use before suggesting a course.
Example starters:
“What has this been like for you?”
“What feels hardest to name right now?”
“What do you sense is sitting heavy in your heart?”
“Where do you feel most stuck?”
“What would you like God to know about this?”
“What have you already tried?”
“What kind of growth are you hoping for?”
Part 9: Practicing Semi-Directive Coaching With Course Options
Semi-directive coaching offers gentle guidance, Scripture, framing, or a possible next step with permission. This is often the best style for introducing a CLI course.
Write five semi-directive coaching questions or responses that could introduce a course option.
Example starters:
“Would it be helpful if I suggested a course that speaks to this topic?”
“There may be a Flourishing Life Course that could support your growth in this area.”
“Would you be open to working through one lesson and discussing what stood out?”
“I may be wrong, but this topic seems connected to anger, spiritual growth, marriage, or confidence. Would you like to explore a course in that area?”
“This course will not fix everything, but it may give you biblical teaching and practical steps.”
“Could we use the course as a conversation partner for your next faithful step?”
Part 10: Practicing Directive Coaching With Course-Based Growth
Directive coaching gives clear instruction, biblical truth, warning, challenge, or accountability when the person is ready, when moral clarity is needed, or when danger is present.
A CLI course may be part of directive coaching when the person is asking for instruction, ready for accountability, or seeking a structured growth pathway.
Write five directive coaching statements or questions that are clear, loving, and biblically grounded.
Example starters:
“I want to speak plainly because I care about you.”
“This pattern is damaging your relationships and needs to be addressed.”
“The next faithful step is not only to talk about this, but to begin a growth plan.”
“I recommend that you start the Anger Reset course this week and bring one insight to our next conversation.”
“Because this involves your marriage, I also encourage you to seek pastoral care or marriage counseling support.”
“This course can help, but it should not replace needed counseling, accountability, or pastoral care.”
Part 11: Truth, Grace, Action, and Course-Based Growth
Choose one ministry coaching situation you might face.
Situation:
Possible CLI course or Flourishing Life Course:
Truth: What reality needs to be named honestly before God?
Grace: What mercy, hope, or gospel encouragement needs to be offered?
Action: What faithful next step could be encouraged?
Course Connection: How could one course lesson, reflection, or practice support the action step?
Follow-Up Question: What would you ask at the next coaching conversation?
Part 12: Using a Course Between Coaching Sessions
A Life Coach Minister may invite the person to complete a small course-based assignment between sessions.
Choose one course topic.
Course topic:
Possible lesson or focus area:
Small assignment before the next session:
One reflection question for the person:
One Scripture to consider:
One practical action step:
Follow-up coaching question:
Example:
Course topic: Anger Reset
Small assignment: Complete one lesson and write down three anger triggers.
Reflection question: What is your anger trying to protect?
Scripture: Ephesians 4:26–27
Action step: Pause and pray before responding during one tense moment this week.
Follow-up question: What did you notice before, during, and after your anger rose?
Part 13: Ministry Sciences Reflection
Ministry Sciences helps the Life Coach Minister see the whole person before God. A coaching issue may include spiritual, emotional, relational, practical, ethical, social, formative, and faith aspects.
Choose one coaching topic.
Topic selected:
Possible course connection:
Answer the following:
What spiritual concerns may be present?
What emotional concerns may be present?
What relational concerns may be present?
What practical concerns may be present?
What ethical or moral concerns may be present?
What faith or calling concerns may be present?
What habits, patterns, or formative issues may be present?
How could a CLI course support whole-person growth?
How does seeing the whole person help the coach avoid oversimplifying the issue?
How does this keep the Life Coach Minister from acting as the fixer, savior, controller, therapist, or Holy Spirit?
Part 14: Boundary Discernment
A Life Coach Minister is not the fixer, savior, controller, therapist, or Holy Spirit. A CLI course is a tool, not a cure-all.
Answer the following:
What should the Life Coach Minister not try to carry?
What should the Life Coach Minister not try to control?
What should the Life Coach Minister not try to diagnose?
What should the Life Coach Minister not try to force?
When might referral to a pastor, counselor, medical professional, mentor, or appropriate authority be needed?
Why should a course not be used as a replacement for crisis care, abuse intervention, mental health care, or pastoral accountability?
How can directive coaching become unhealthy if it is done without permission, humility, or love?
How can recommending a course become unhealthy if the coach uses it to avoid listening?
What warning signs would tell you that a course recommendation is not enough?
Part 15: Prayerful Discernment
Before a Ministry Coaching Conversation, pray:
“Lord, help me listen before I speak. Help me discern what this person needs today. Give me wisdom to know when to listen, when to gently guide, when to offer a resource, and when to speak truth clearly. Keep me humble, loving, and faithful. Amen.”
Reflection Questions:
How should prayer shape the coach’s tone?
How should prayer protect the coach from pride?
How can the Holy Spirit help the coach discern the right coaching style?
How can the Holy Spirit help the coach discern whether to recommend a course?
Why should spiritual impressions be tested by Scripture, humility, and wise boundaries?
How can prayer keep the course recommendation from becoming pressure or control?
Part 16: My Course Recommendation Practice Plan
Complete the following statements.
One CLI course or Flourishing Life Course I may recommend in future coaching conversations is:
The kind of person or situation that may benefit from this course is:
The coaching style I would probably begin with is:
A permission-based way I could introduce the course is:
One small assignment I could suggest is:
One follow-up question I could ask is:
One boundary I must remember is:
One Scripture I want to connect to this topic is:
One way this course could support Truth, Grace, and Action is:
One way I will avoid becoming the fixer is:
Part 17: My Coaching Style Growth Plan
Complete the following statements.
I need to grow in non-directive coaching by:
I need to grow in semi-directive coaching by:
I need to grow in directive coaching by:
I need to grow in recommending courses with wisdom by:
One phrase I will practice using with permission is:
One Scripture I want to remember for this topic is:
One boundary I need to remember is:
One faithful next step I will take this week is:
Closing Prayer
Lord Jesus, You listened with compassion, asked questions with wisdom, invited people with grace, and spoke truth with love. Train me to serve others with humility and discernment. Help me know when to listen patiently, when to guide gently, when to offer a helpful course or resource, and when to speak clearly. Thank You for Christian learning tools that help people grow in anger, spiritual life, marriage, confidence, relationships, and faithful maturity. Keep me from controlling others or avoiding truth. Let every coaching conversation and every course recommendation point people back to You, Your Word, Your grace, and one faithful next step. Amen.