Case Study 1.3: When Rob Thought He Was Just a Problem to Solve
Case Study 1.3: When Rob Thought He Was Just a Problem to Solve
Course: Become a Soul Coach
Topic 1: What Is a Life, a Soul?
This case study applies the Topic 1 foundation that a human being is a living soul before God: a nefesh with a spiritual nature and a physical nature, thinking, feeling, willing, rebelling in sin, needing redemption, and invited into renewal in Christ.
Case Study
Rob was forty-six years old, married, the father of three teenagers, and a respected volunteer in his church. He helped with ushering, occasionally led prayer, and was known as dependable.
But privately, Rob felt like he was falling apart.
For several months, he had been short-tempered at home. He snapped at his wife, avoided deeper conversations with his children, stayed up too late scrolling on his phone, and had started drinking more than usual at night. He was not drunk every evening, but he knew he was using alcohol to quiet something inside.
At work, he felt overlooked. A younger employee had recently been promoted over him. Rob told himself he was fine, but resentment was growing. He replayed conversations in his mind. He imagined what he should have said. He felt embarrassed, angry, tired, and spiritually numb.
On Sunday mornings, Rob still smiled.
When someone asked how he was doing, he said, “Busy, but blessed.”
One evening after a church meeting, Rob lingered in the hallway. A Soul Coach named Daniel noticed that Rob seemed distracted.
Daniel said, “Rob, you seem a little heavy tonight. Would you like to talk sometime?”
Rob shrugged. “I don’t know. I’m probably just being dramatic.”
Daniel answered, “You don’t have to explain it now. But I’d be glad to listen.”
A few days later, Rob agreed to meet.
The First Conversation
At first, Rob described himself as “just lazy” and “not disciplined enough.”
He said, “I know what I should do. Pray more. Eat better. Stop being angry. Stop drinking. Stop wasting time. I don’t need anyone to tell me that.”
Daniel listened.
Then he asked, “Rob, when you say you’re lazy, what are you seeing in yourself?”
Rob looked down.
“I don’t know. I just feel like I’m failing everywhere. I’m tired all the time. I don’t want to talk to my wife because I know she’ll ask what’s wrong. I don’t want to talk to God because I already know I’m not where I should be.”
Daniel did not rush to correct him.
He said, “Rob, I want to start with something important. You are not merely a failure to fix. You are a living soul before God.”
Rob looked confused.
Daniel continued, “You have a body that is tired. You have emotions that are carrying anger and shame. You have thoughts that keep replaying rejection. You have a will that is choosing some escape patterns. You have a spiritual life that feels distant from God. And you are still an image-bearer loved by Christ.”
Rob was quiet.
Then he said, “That sounds better than how I’ve been talking to myself.”
Seeing the Whole Living Soul
Daniel asked permission to explore Rob’s life slowly.
“Would it be okay if we look at this as a whole-person issue, not just one bad habit?”
Rob nodded.
Daniel asked simple questions:
“How are you sleeping?”
“Not good.”
“How often are you drinking at night?”
“Most nights. Usually two or three drinks.”
“What are you feeling when you reach for it?”
Rob paused. “I feel small. Angry. Embarrassed. Like I don’t matter.”
“What happens spiritually when you feel that?”
“I avoid God. I don’t want to pray fake prayers.”
“What happens relationally?”
“I pull away. My wife tries to talk, but I shut down.”
“What do you believe Christ is inviting you to face honestly?”
Rob swallowed hard. “That I’m bitter. And scared. And I don’t want to admit I’m hurt.”
Daniel gently said, “That is an honest beginning.”
Naming Sin and Suffering
Daniel did not treat Rob as only a victim.
He also did not treat Rob as only a sinner.
He helped Rob see both suffering and sin.
Rob had been wounded by disappointment at work. He felt unseen and dishonored. That suffering was real.
But Rob was also responding sinfully. He was hiding from his wife, feeding resentment, using alcohol for escape, neglecting prayer, and allowing anger to rule his home.
Daniel said, “Rob, part of Soul Coaching is telling the truth with grace. You have been hurt. And you are also responsible for how you are responding. Both can be true.”
Rob nodded slowly.
“I think I wanted someone to tell me I had a good excuse.”
Daniel replied, “Christ gives grace, but grace does not hide us from truth. Grace helps us come into the light.”
Daniel read Romans 6:12–13 from the WEB:
“Therefore don’t let sin reign in your mortal body, that you should obey it in its lusts. Also, do not present your members to sin as instruments of unrighteousness, but present yourselves to God as alive from the dead, and your members as instruments of righteousness to God.”
Daniel asked, “What part of that passage touches your situation?”
Rob said, “Sin reigning in my body. That sounds like what happens at night. I let anger and escape take over.”
Then he added, “But it also says present yourselves to God as alive from the dead. I don’t feel that, but I want it.”
The Soul Coach’s Role
Daniel was careful not to become Rob’s fixer.
He did not say, “Here is your whole plan.”
He did not diagnose Rob.
He did not shame him.
He did not minimize the alcohol concern.
He said, “Rob, I can walk with you as a Soul Coach, but I am not a therapist, doctor, or addiction counselor. If drinking keeps increasing, if you feel unable to stop, or if depression deepens, we need to bring in more support. Would you be open to that if needed?”
Rob agreed.
Daniel also encouraged Rob to consider speaking with his pastor and, if needed, his doctor. Rob admitted he had been exhausted for months and had not had a physical in years.
That became part of the discernment: spiritual and physical together.
One Faithful Next Step
Daniel asked, “What is one faithful next step you can own before God this week?”
Rob wanted to make a big promise.
“I’ll stop drinking, pray every morning, apologize to my wife, exercise, and fix my attitude.”
Daniel smiled gently.
“That may be too much for one week. What is one truthful step?”
Rob thought for a while.
“I need to tell my wife I’m not okay. Not blame her. Just tell her the truth.”
Daniel asked, “When will you do that?”
“Tonight.”
“What will you say?”
Rob wrote it down:
“I have been angry, embarrassed, and distant. I have been using alcohol to avoid what I feel. I am sorry for shutting you out. I want to begin telling the truth.”
Daniel asked, “Would you like to pray about that before you go?”
Rob said yes.
Daniel prayed simply:
“Lord Jesus, Rob is a living soul before you. You know his body, his thoughts, his feelings, his will, his sin, his hurt, and his hope. Give him courage to walk in truth. Give him grace to repent without despair. Give him strength to take one faithful next step. Amen.”
Rob left nervous, but lighter.
Ministry Sciences Reflection
This case shows why Soul Coaching needs a whole-person Christian framework.
Rob was not merely dealing with poor discipline. His stuckness involved many aspects of life:
Physical: fatigue, sleep loss, alcohol use, bodily stress.
Sensitive: anger, shame, embarrassment, hurt.
Analytical: replaying conversations, interpreting himself as a failure.
Formative: habits of avoidance, late-night scrolling, lack of rhythm.
Lingual: false words such as “I’m fine” and “I’m just lazy.”
Social: withdrawal from wife, children, and honest community.
Economic: poor stewardship of evening energy and attention.
Ethical: failure to love his family well.
Juridical: responsibility for his actions at home.
Pistic: weakened trust in God, avoidance of prayer, misplaced refuge in alcohol.
Soul Coaching does not use these aspects to diagnose Rob. It uses them to ask better questions.
The living soul is spiritual and physical. Rob’s spiritual nature needed repentance, renewed trust, prayer, and Gospel hope. His physical nature needed sleep, honesty about alcohol, medical attention if necessary, and better embodied stewardship.
The fall affected both.
Redemption in Christ addresses both.
Discussion Questions
How did Rob initially reduce himself to “just lazy” or “a failure”?
How did Daniel help Rob see himself as a living soul before God?
Where do you see Rob’s spiritual nature thinking, feeling, willing, rebelling, and needing renewal?
Where do you see Rob’s physical nature involved in his struggle?
What sins needed to be named honestly?
What suffering needed to be treated with compassion?
Why was it important that Daniel did not become Rob’s fixer?
When should a Soul Coach refer someone like Rob to pastoral, medical, counseling, or addiction recovery support?
How did Romans 6:12–13 help Rob connect body, sin, responsibility, and redemption?
What was wise about choosing one faithful next step instead of trying to fix everything at once?
Key Lesson
A Soul Coach does not see Rob as merely a problem to solve.
A Soul Coach sees Rob as a living soul before God: spiritual and physical, fallen and loved, responsible and wounded, sinful and redeemable, needing grace and truth.
A Soul Coach helps that living soul take one faithful next step under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.