Video 3A: What Is a Soul Coach?

Video 3A: What Is a Soul Coach?

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “All right, it's Abby and Abbie again, and we continue in this Soul Coach class. We're going to ask the question: What is a Soul Coach?

We haven't really talked about the theological framework in the past couple of videos and some of those key truths that are foundational to being a Soul Coach, but what is a Soul Coach?”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “A Soul Coach is not a savior, not a fixer, or a controller. A Soul Coach is a Christ-centered listener, a thoughtful question asker, an encourager of growth and accountability, and a companion in discovering God's direction for life and ministry.

The most important thing is that the hope of the soul is Christ, not the coach.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Yes. I love that word companion. It's really about coming alongside people.

John 1:14 says, ‘The Word became flesh and lived among us. We saw His glory, such glory as the one and only Son of the Father, full of grace and truth.’

Soul Coaching learns its posture from Christ.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “So Denise feels stuck. Denise might say something like, ‘I'm stuck. I know what I should do, but I keep avoiding it. I need someone to tell me what to do with my life.’

How many times have you felt that way? ‘I need someone to tell me what to do.’”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Oh my goodness, I am like the queen of asking that question. I can definitely fall into that indecisive paralysis where I just want somebody else to make the decision. It's like, ‘You decide. You just decide, and we'll do it.’

I think many people come to that place where they just want someone to tell them what to do, and they might have hired a coach for that very thing.

As a coach, you might feel pressure to become the expert, the rescuer, or the decision-maker in their life.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Absolutely. Instead of defaulting to that, our posture as a Soul Coach should really be to listen, get curious, ask helpful questions, and notice.

We don't need to take control over someone's life, even though that might seem like the easier thing to do. Instead, we point the person toward God.

We're listening for patterns, calling, and responsibilities. Because this is a Christian context, we also have the privilege of offering Scripture or prayer—with the permission of the client.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Soul Coaching is permission-based Christian growth coaching that helps a living soul take faithful next steps under the lordship of Jesus Christ.

Again, Soul Coaching is clearly Christian. It is growth-oriented. It is faithful movement under Christ's lordship.

But what is it not?

It's not hidden Christ. It's certainly not a replacement for the Gospel. It's not self-improvement only, and it's not endless talking without growth.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “I really like that last one because sometimes people love to talk. They might even hire you as a coach simply to have a safe place where they can talk and talk and talk.

As a Soul Coach, you're there to listen, and you want to be that listening ear. But if it's only talking and there are never any steps being taken, then coaching really isn't happening anymore. It's just a conversation.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “This is a permission-based practice, and the key here is to ask before offering.

Ultimately, you're the coach, and the person you're coaching is the client. Ask permission before offering Scripture, prayer, a challenge, direction, or resources.

In some of the classes you may have already taken—or may take after this—we talk about the directive approach, the semi-directive approach, and the non-directive approach.

Anytime there is direction or semi-direction involved, it's important to ask permission first.

As the slide says, permission protects the person from pressure, and it protects the coach from control.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Here are a couple of gentle permission questions.

You might notice someone saying something and ask, ‘Would it be helpful to talk about this from a Christian soul growth perspective?’

That question alone may help reframe the conversation. They may say yes and invite you to share more insight, or simply asking the question may be enough to redirect where they're going.

Another question is, ‘Would you like me to mostly listen, ask questions, or offer a little direction right now?’

Sometimes people really do just need someone to listen. Other times they may say, ‘Yes, I'd really love a little direction right now. What are you hearing from an outside perspective?’”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Again, this person is a person before God. They're not a project.

They are a living soul. They are an image-bearer. They are fallen and loved, accountable and invited, wounded and responsible, and created for life with God.

This is how we must approach someone—as a whole person.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Galatians reminds us to restore one another with gentleness: ‘Brothers, even if a man is caught in some fault, you who are spiritual must restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself, so that you also are not tempted.’

I love that because there is such an opportunity in coaching for restoration through gentleness.

Someone may realize they've been caught in a fault and come to you as a Soul Coach. Coming alongside them with gentleness, asking thoughtful questions, and using this coaching approach can become a beautiful pathway toward restoration.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “A Soul Coach brings presence, not pressure; wisdom, not control; challenge, not shame; prayer, not performance.

A Soul Coach actively avoids needing to feel powerful, needing to be needed, being impressive, always being right, or making the conversation unsafe.

I think that's really important. During our coaching training, there could sometimes be pressure to feel impressive—like, ‘Wow, I really helped someone today. Listen to what happened after I asked this great question.’

But honestly, that's just our ego getting in the way.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Right. It's easy to start thinking, ‘I'm such a great coach,’ or, ‘Look how much I helped this person.’

What are some other ways, Abby, that you think could make the conversation unsafe?”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Well, talking about it with someone else would certainly make it unsafe—not maintaining confidentiality. We'll talk more about that later in the course.

Another thing, even though it isn't listed here, is viewing someone as a project. People aren't experiments.

Even if we're staying professional in the conversation, internally we can begin thinking that way.

If your reason for being here is because you need to feel powerful or needed, then I think there needs to be a moment of reevaluation.

Going back to our theological framework, it's a privilege to come alongside someone as a companion in this way.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Really well put.

So, what helps?

Grace and truth, presence, permission-based conversations, careful listening, prayerful discernment, and respect for responsibility.

What harms?

Taking over, pressuring people, trying to rescue them, shaming them, or diagnosing them.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “As the coach, this can't become something that feeds your ego, as Abby pointed out.

If this becomes about you being the coach and about your success or how much you helped someone, then this really isn't going to go anywhere for you as a Soul Coach.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Our closing takeaway: A Soul Coach is a grace-and-truth guide who helps a living soul take one faithful next step under the lordship of Jesus Christ. Going back to that beautiful definition.”