Video 4A: Biblical Character for Soul Coaches
Video 4A: Biblical Character for Soul Coaches
Professor Abigail Dominiak: “All right, it's Abby and Abbie, and we're continuing, and we're talking about biblical character for Soul Coaches and the traits that, as you're in this practice, you need to continually allow yourself to be shaped by what Scripture tells us about what it is to be a person of character.”
Professor Abigail Munroe: “The person of the coach matters. A lot of the things we've talked about are skills, but Soul Coaching is not just about the skills you have—it's about who you are.
Character matters. Spiritual maturity matters. And how a coach handles power matters.
In these conversations, Abby, people share a lot with you. This is their life they're kind of putting into your hands. Again, we cannot perceive this as power, but safe ministry begins with a trustworthy life and a trustworthy foundation.”
Professor Abigail Dominiak: “I think even to add to this—and this is a little bit for those of you who are just starting right now and thinking, ‘I feel called to be a coach’—the way you're going to get clients and people to engage with you is by living a trustworthy life.
If people in your life see you and feel like you're a gossip, or you're not treating your family well, or they know you have tendencies to lie, they're not going to want to come to you.
When you announce, ‘Hey, I'm becoming a Soul Coach. Would you be interested in that relationship?’ they're probably not going to say yes.
I think this matters not only because it's the right thing in our relationship with Christ and who we're called to be, but also in a very practical sense as you're starting out.
If you begin trying to coach and you're having a hard time getting clients, it may be worth taking some time to ask, ‘Is my life a trustworthy life that somebody would want to enter into a coaching relationship with?’”
Professor Abigail Munroe: “Absolutely.
First Timothy 3 and Titus 1 shape the helper.
Not every Soul Coach holds an office. They may not be a pastor or have an official title, but every Soul Coach needs mature character.
Church leadership texts describe trustworthiness, and they form the posture of a safe helping ministry.
First Timothy 3:2–3 says, ‘An overseer, therefore, must be without reproach, the husband of one wife, temperate, sensible, modest, hospitable, good at teaching, not a drinker, not violent, not greedy for money, but gentle, not quarrelsome, not covetous.’”
Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Again, this is difficult. A lot of us can look at this list and know there are areas where we struggle.
As you're becoming a coach and saying yes to this calling God is placing on your life—or maybe you already serve in ministry and you're really looking to develop the skill of coaching—it's so important that you honestly evaluate yourself against this list and spend time with the Lord in prayer over it.”
Professor Abigail Munroe: “Why does this matter?
Unsafe character can distort coaching. The same role that can serve can also dominate.”
Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Harshness can dominate. Quarreling can turn pain into debate. Greed can exploit. Lack of self-control can mishandle trust.
How do you challenge someone without crushing them? How do you ask questions without pretending to know everything? How do you hear someone's pain without panicking? And how do you keep healthy boundaries without becoming cold?
Again, there's a lot of balance that has to be found, and that's difficult.”
Professor Abigail Munroe: “James tells us, ‘Let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.’
Gentleness is not passivity.
A Soul Coach may need to name concern and refer wisely. We can say things like, ‘I'm really concerned about what you just shared,’ or, ‘This sounds like it might be a safety issue,’ or, ‘This needs care beyond what I can provide.’
A very important trait of a Soul Coach is admitting when they need to refer someone and seek additional support for issues that are beyond the scope of their training.
Ultimately, that keeps the client's best interest at the center.”
Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Absolutely. Courage protects people when danger or limits appear.
Again, this isn't cowering. This is courage.
‘Restore such a one in a spirit of gentleness, looking to yourself, so that you aren't also tempted.’
Healing others and helping them can tempt the coach toward pride, control, or a savior complex. We've been discussing that throughout this course.
Knowing that temptation exists in this role is important when you're trying to gently restore those in your life.
A Soul Coach needs formation, not just information.
If you're newer to Christian Leaders Institute, we also want to encourage you to take our Christian Leader Connection class and our Christian Basics class.
We want our Soul Coaches to have strong formation in their walk with God through prayer, Scripture, community, accountability, teachability, and repentance.
Again, we want to encourage you to pursue a healthy, strong walk with God and healthy Christian community.”
Professor Abigail Munroe: “Some recommendations:
Receive feedback. Ask your clients how they feel your coaching is being received.
Notice fatigue and reactivity in yourself.
Know when you're outside your training.
Wise speech protects the vulnerable. That means no gossip, no exaggeration, and no careless promises.
Our words matter.
Do not gossip. Do not shame. Do not promise confidentiality when safety concerns or mandatory reporting apply.
Do not use someone's honesty and trust in you to make yourself feel important.”
Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Soul Coaching becomes safer when the coach's character is being formed by Christ.
Again, this is why every day, as we go to do what God has called us to do, we need to take time to make sure we are caring for our own character and continuing our own formation with Christ.”