Video 4B: Referral, Safety, and Humility

Video 4B: Referral, Safety, and Humility

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “All right, it's Abby and Abbie, and we're continuing in this Soul Coach class. We are talking a little bit more—we started to talk about this already—but about referral, safety, and humility when more help is needed.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “'Where there is no counsel, plans fail, but in a multitude of counselors they are established.' This comes from Proverbs 15:22.

A Soul Coach in wise ministry connects people to appropriate help, particularly when the issues are outside the scope of the coaching space.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Exactly. I always love that verse and see it as such a wise principle.

As a coach, yes, you're one of their counselors, but you're not necessarily going to be the only one. There are a lot of times where referral is necessary, so knowing when more help is needed is wisdom. This is part of growing as a coach.

Referral is not about abandoning someone or abandoning their situation. It's a means of connecting the person with the right kind of help.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “If your client says something like, ‘I've been thinking about hurting myself,’ ‘I'm afraid of what I might do,’ ‘Someone at home is hurting me,’ or anything else along those lines, these are not ordinary coaching moments.

This is not the time for a growth plan or goal setting. This is the time to truly consider what referral might be needed and what additional help and support you can provide.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “If there is immediate danger—let's say they tell you something that requires emergency services—do not hesitate to get emergency help by calling 911 or whatever the appropriate emergency service would be.

If it's something like abuse, self-harm, threats, child endangerment, elder abuse, or domestic violence, you're really going to want to spend some time learning the laws and policies for each of those issues in your area, especially as they relate to coaching.

As we record this today, coaching has somewhat less clearly defined laws in some of these areas. We do want to say there will be a level of discretion that you'll need to exercise as a coach, but make sure you really look into these issues because they are important safety concerns that need to be taken seriously.

We also want to highlight the importance of compiling your own list of resources and referrals. Who would you refer someone to if they were thinking about self-harm? You can have a great list of counselors, emergency services, hotlines, and other resources that you can immediately share in situations like these.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Care is not the same as competence.

Compassion is not equal to clinical training. Prayer is not the same as emergency care. Scripture does not mean ignoring danger.

Christian love seeks wise help.

As a coach, it's your responsibility to recognize the difference. Compassion, prayer, and Scripture all come alongside people experiencing difficult circumstances, but as a coach, we recognize that these things work together with appropriate professional care.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Clear words can protect people.

Here are some examples of caring language you can use:

‘Thank you for trusting me with that.’

‘Because you've mentioned harm, I don't want you to carry this alone.’

‘This needs immediate support beyond coaching.’

If someone mentions self-harm or something similar, these are the kinds of things you can say while preparing to connect them with the appropriate referral or resource.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Connecting a client with help means admitting when something is beyond what you're trained to handle.

Here's another example of language you might use:

‘I care about you, and this is more than I'm trained to handle. I'd like us to connect you with a pastor, counselor, doctor, crisis support, or another appropriate helper. We can keep praying, but this part needs specialized care.’

Having the competence and confidence to say those words—and having your referral list already prepared—will help you respond wisely in situations like these.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “Respect privacy, but also recognize that there are times when you're going to need to report concerns and involve additional people.

As a coach, you should never gossip, and you should respect privacy. But safety concerns, abuse, mandatory reporting, or the risk of harm may require involving the appropriate help.

You might say to someone, especially if they're concerned about privacy:

‘I want to respect your privacy, but if someone is in danger, we may need to involve the right help.’”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Setting the correct expectations up front is so important.

Second Corinthians 4:7 says, ‘But we have this treasure in clay vessels, that the exceeding greatness of the power may be of God and not from ourselves.’

Trying to carry what only God—or trained helpers beyond your expertise—should carry can leave a coach feeling overwhelmed, anxious, controlling, or burned out.

Not only is that a disservice to the person you're coaching, it also becomes a burden that may simply be too heavy for you to carry.

Boundaries matter, and caring for yourself as a coach is important so that you can best serve your clients.”

Professor Abigail Dominiak: “A Soul Coach knows when more help is needed.

When you have humility and recognize, ‘I'm not going to be able to address every issue or solve every problem,’ that humility can truly save lives.

It protects the people—the souls—you are coaching, and it honors Christ to respond that way.

All right, we'll see you in the next session.”

Professor Abigail Munroe: “Bye.”