Worksheet 5.4: Practicing the 15-Aspect Soul Growth Discernment Model
Worksheet 5.4: Practicing the 15-Aspect Soul Growth Discernment Model
Course: Become a Soul Coach
Topic 5: Christian Discernment Model for Permission-Based Soul Coaching
Coach Connection: This worksheet helps Soul Coach candidates practice using the 15-Aspect Soul Growth Discernment Model with humility, permission, safety awareness, and a focus on one faithful next step. This follows the course standard that Soul Coaching is permission-based, agency-honoring, non-reductionistic, and not a replacement for counseling, medical care, crisis care, legal advice, or pastoral oversight.
Opening Thought
A person is never merely a problem.
A person may come to a Soul Coach saying, “I just have an anger problem,” “My marriage is falling apart,” “I feel spiritually stuck,” or “I do not know what to do next.” The Soul Coach listens carefully to the presenting issue, but does not reduce the person to that issue.
The 15-Aspect Soul Growth Discernment Model helps a Soul Coach notice the whole person before God. It helps the coach ask wiser questions, avoid simplistic answers, honor the person’s agency, and guide a faithful next step under the Lordship of Jesus Christ.
The model is not a diagnosis tool.
It is not therapy.
It is not a rigid checklist.
It does not replace Scripture, prayer, the Holy Spirit, wise pastoral care, or appropriate referral.
It is a ministry discernment aid.
Part 1: Coach Self-Assessment
Use the scale below.
1 = Rarely true of me
2 = Sometimes true of me
3 = Often true of me
4 = Consistently true of me
My Soul Coaching Posture
I listen before offering advice.
Score: ___I avoid reducing people to one problem or label.
Score: ___I ask permission before exploring sensitive areas.
Score: ___I remember that the person being coached must own their next step before God.
Score: ___I can notice spiritual concerns without becoming pushy or controlling.
Score: ___I can notice emotional concerns without acting like a therapist.
Score: ___I can notice family patterns without trying to provide trauma treatment.
Score: ___I can name moral responsibility without shaming the person.
Score: ___I can recognize when referral may be needed.
Score: ___I can help someone move toward one faithful next step.
Score: ___
Reflection
Which area is strongest for you right now?
Which area needs growth?
What is one way you can practice that growth this week?
Part 2: Scripture Reflection
Read the following passage slowly.
“This I pray, that your love may abound yet more and more in knowledge and all discernment; so that you may approve the things that are excellent; that you may be sincere and without offense to the day of Christ.”
— Philippians 1:9–10, WEB
Reflection Questions
What connection do you see between love and discernment?
Why should Christian discernment be more than analysis?
How can a Soul Coach help someone discern wisely without taking over?
What does it mean for discernment to lead to “the things that are excellent”?
Part 3: Practice Scenario
Read the following scenario.
Scenario:
Maya is forty-six years old. She is active in church, works part-time, and helps care for her aging mother. She asks to meet with a Soul Coach because she feels “constantly irritated.” She says, “I snap at my husband, avoid my friends, and feel guilty every time I pray. I know Christians should have joy, but I feel like I am failing. I probably just need to be more grateful.”
As she talks, you notice several possible dimensions. She sleeps poorly because she worries about her mother. She feels unseen by her siblings, who rarely help. She has stopped attending her small group. She says she does not want to “burden anyone.” Her husband has offered help, but she often refuses and then resents him for not doing more. She has not had a medical checkup in over two years.
Part 4: Identify the Presenting Problem
What problem does Maya first name?
What labels might Maya be putting on herself?
How could a Soul Coach avoid reducing Maya to those labels?
Write one compassionate reflection you could offer Maya.
Example:
“It sounds like you are carrying irritation, guilt, and exhaustion, and you do not want to keep living this way.”
Your reflection:
Part 5: Permission-Based Exploration
Before using the 15-aspect model, a Soul Coach should ask permission.
Write three permission-based questions you could ask Maya.
Question 1
Question 2
Question 3
Helpful examples:
“Would it be helpful to look at this from a few different angles?”
“May I ask how this has affected your spiritual life?”
“Would you be open to exploring what support you may need?”
Part 6: 15-Aspect Discernment Practice
For each aspect, write one possible observation and one gentle question you might ask. Do not force every aspect into the conversation. This is practice for discernment.
1. Faith Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya feels guilty when she prays and may believe God is disappointed in her.
Gentle question:
“What do you sense God sees when he looks at you in this season?”
Your observation:
Your question:
2. Identity Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya may be living under the identity of “failure,” “burden,” or “not enough.”
Your observation:
Your question:
3. Spiritual Practice Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya is praying, but prayer may be mixed with guilt rather than grace.
Your observation:
Your question:
4. Embodied Life Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya is sleeping poorly and has not had a medical checkup recently.
Your observation:
Your question:
5. Emotional Aspect
Possible observation:
Irritation may be covering grief, fear, resentment, loneliness, or exhaustion.
Your observation:
Your question:
6. Thought and Mindset Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya believes she “just needs to be more grateful,” which may be partly true but also too simplistic.
Your observation:
Your question:
7. Moral Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya is responsible for how she speaks to her husband, even while under pressure.
Your observation:
Your question:
8. Relational Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya is pulling away from friends and snapping at her husband.
Your observation:
Your question:
9. Family Story Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya may have family patterns around caregiving, silence, duty, resentment, or being the responsible one.
Your observation:
Your question:
10. Communication Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya refuses help but then resents others for not helping more.
Your observation:
Your question:
11. Stewardship Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya’s time, energy, and caregiving responsibilities may be out of balance.
Your observation:
Your question:
12. Calling and Vocation Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya may need to discern what God is calling her to carry and what she is not called to carry alone.
Your observation:
Your question:
13. Justice and Boundary Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya may need appropriate boundaries with siblings, caregiving responsibilities, and expectations.
Your observation:
Your question:
14. Beauty and Joy Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya’s life may have little room for joy, delight, rest, gratitude, or beauty.
Your observation:
Your question:
15. Community and Kingdom Aspect
Possible observation:
Maya has stopped attending small group and may be isolated from Christian support.
Your observation:
Your question:
Part 7: Narrow the Focus
A Soul Coach should not try to address all 15 aspects in one conversation.
From Maya’s story, choose the three aspects that seem most important to explore first.
Aspect 1
Why this aspect may matter:
Aspect 2
Why this aspect may matter:
Aspect 3
Why this aspect may matter:
Now choose one primary focus for the first next step.
Primary focus:
Why this seems wise:
Part 8: From Discernment to One Faithful Next Step
A faithful next step should be:
Concrete — clear enough to practice
Owned — chosen by the person, not forced by the coach
Realistic — possible in this season
Christ-centered — connected to grace, truth, wisdom, and obedience
Supported — connected to prayer, Scripture, community, resource, or referral when needed
Write three possible next steps Maya might choose.
Possible Next Step 1
Possible Next Step 2
Possible Next Step 3
Which next step seems most realistic and faithful?
How would you ask Maya to choose her own next step?
Part 9: Consent and Safety Prompts
Soul Coaches must be safety-conscious and referral-aware.
Safety Reflection
Does Maya’s situation suggest any possible need for care beyond Soul Coaching?
Circle one:
Yes / No / Not sure
Explain:
What additional questions might need to be asked carefully?
What kind of referral or support might be appropriate?
Examples: pastor, elder, counselor, doctor, caregiver support group, family meeting, crisis service, legal or social support if safety concerns are present.
Your answer:
Important Reminder
A Soul Coach must not diagnose, treat medical issues, provide therapy, handle abuse alone, or become the person’s rescuer. If danger, abuse, self-harm, severe depression, medical crisis, or legal concerns appear, the coach should seek appropriate help immediately according to ministry policy and local requirements.
Part 10: Fill-in-the-Blank Coaching Language
Complete each sentence with your own words.
“Would it be helpful to look at this through ______________________________?”
“I hear you saying ______________________________, and I wonder if this may also touch ______________________________.”
“May I ask a question about ______________________________?”
“What part of this feels most important for you to address ______________________________?”
“What is one faithful step you sense God may be inviting you to take ______________________________?”
“Who could support you wisely as you take this step ______________________________?”
“This sounds important enough that it may deserve support from ______________________________.”
“Would you like to pray about ______________________________?”
Part 11: Christian Growth Resource Connection
Maya may benefit from a Christian Growth resource, but only if offered with permission and without pressure.
Which resource might fit Maya’s situation?
Circle one or more:
Christian Gratitude Growth
Introduction to Spiritual Growth
Christian Marriage Growth
Anger Reset
A caregiving support resource
A boundary-focused resource
A small group or Soul Center resource
Other: _______________________________________
Write a permission-based way to offer the resource.
Example:
“Would a Christian Growth resource on gratitude and spiritual renewal feel supportive right now, or would another kind of support be more helpful first?”
Part 12: Coach Reflection
Answer honestly.
In Maya’s situation, what advice would you be tempted to give too quickly?
What aspect of her life might you overlook?
How could you honor her agency and responsibility?
How could you avoid shaming her?
How could you keep Christ at the center of the conversation?
Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ,
teach me to see each person as a living soul before you.
Give me patience to listen before I speak.
Give me wisdom to discern without controlling.
Give me courage to tell the truth with love.
Give me humility to know my role and my limits.
Help me honor the agency and responsibility of the person being coached.
Help me notice when referral, pastoral care, medical care, counseling, or safety support is needed.
By your Holy Spirit, guide each faithful next step.
Amen.
Final Reflection
Complete the following statements.
Today I learned that wise discernment means:
The 15-aspect model can help me:
I need to be careful not to:
One permission-based question I want to practice is:
One faithful step I will take as a Soul Coach candidate is:
Simple Practice for This Week
This week, practice whole-person listening in one ordinary conversation.
Do not coach someone without permission. Simply listen.
After the conversation, privately reflect:
What was the presenting concern?
What other dimensions may have been involved?
Which of the 15 aspects did I notice?
Which aspect did I almost miss?
What would have been one permission-based question?
What did I learn about listening before leading?
Write your notes here: