Worksheet 6.4: Soul Coaching Conversation Practice Guide
Worksheet 6.4: Soul Coaching Conversation Practice Guide
Course: Become a Soul Coach
Topic 6: Soul Coaching Conversation Skills
Coach Connection: This worksheet helps Soul Coach candidates practice listening, reflecting, asking wise questions, summarizing, using silence, praying with permission, and guiding one faithful next step without taking over. This fits the course standard that Soul Coaching is permission-based, agency-honoring, role-aware, and not a replacement for therapy, medical care, crisis care, legal advice, or pastoral oversight.
Opening Thought
Soul Coaches are not called to be answer machines.
A Soul Coach does not need to impress people with quick advice, long explanations, or perfect spiritual insight. A Soul Coach learns to be present, listen carefully, reflect humbly, ask wise questions, summarize clearly, offer prayer or Scripture with permission, and help the person identify one faithful next step before God.
Good conversation skills protect people. They help the coach avoid rushing, controlling, shaming, diagnosing, or taking over.
The goal is not to show how much the coach knows.
The goal is to serve a living soul before God.
Part 1: Coach Self-Assessment
Use the scale below.
1 = Rarely true of me
2 = Sometimes true of me
3 = Often true of me
4 = Consistently true of me
Listening Before Leading
I can listen without immediately planning my answer.
Score: ___I allow silence without rushing to fill it.
Score: ___I ask open-ended questions instead of giving quick advice.
Score: ___I reflect what I hear before offering direction.
Score: ___I summarize the conversation to check understanding.
Score: ___I ask permission before offering Scripture, prayer, advice, or challenge.
Score: ___I avoid using spiritual language to pressure or shame someone.
Score: ___I help the person identify a next step they own.
Score: ___I recognize when a concern may require referral beyond Soul Coaching.
Score: ___I trust Christ with the person’s growth instead of trying to control it.
Score: ___
Reflection
Which conversation skill feels most natural to you?
Which conversation skill needs the most practice?
What might happen if you give advice too quickly?
Part 2: Scripture Reflection
Read the following passages slowly.
“So, then, my beloved brothers, let every man be swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.”
— James 1:19, WEB
“He who gives answer before he hears, that is folly and shame to him.”
— Proverbs 18:13, WEB
Reflection Questions
What does it mean for a Soul Coach to be “swift to hear”?
Why is it dangerous to give an answer before hearing?
When are you most tempted to speak too quickly?
How can listening become an act of love?
Part 3: Practice Scenario
Read the following scenario.
Scenario:
Eli is twenty-eight and recently began attending church again after several years away. He asks to meet with a Soul Coach because he says, “I keep making bad decisions, and I’m tired of disappointing God.”
As he talks, Eli says he has been inconsistent at work, arguing with his girlfriend, spending too much time online late at night, and avoiding prayer because he feels ashamed. He says, “I know I need discipline. Maybe I’m just lazy.” He also says his father often called him irresponsible when he was growing up.
Eli looks discouraged and asks, “Can you just tell me what to do?”
Part 4: Listening Practice
Before giving advice, write five things you would want to listen for in Eli’s story.
1.
2.
3.
4.
5.
Examples: shame, identity, spiritual avoidance, work patterns, relationship conflict, sleep habits, family story, online habits, moral responsibility, need for accountability.
Part 5: Reflecting Practice
A reflection helps the person hear themselves without feeling judged.
Write three possible reflections you could offer Eli.
Reflection 1
Reflection 2
Reflection 3
Helpful examples:
“It sounds like you are discouraged and also tired of repeating the same patterns.”
“You are calling yourself lazy, but I also hear shame and fear of disappointing God.”
“You want help, but you may also be afraid that change will not last.”
Part 6: Open-Ended Questions
Write five open-ended questions that could help Eli explore what is happening.
Question 1
Question 2
Question 3
Question 4
Question 5
Helpful examples:
“What do you notice tends to happen before these decisions?”
“What does ‘disappointing God’ mean to you?”
“What have you already tried?”
“What part of this do you sense is yours to take responsibility for?”
“What kind of support would make change wiser?”
Part 7: Permission-Based Spiritual Conversation
Eli has used spiritual language: “I’m tired of disappointing God.”
Before moving deeper, ask permission.
Write three permission-based spiritual questions.
Question 1
Question 2
Question 3
Helpful examples:
“May I ask what you believe God sees when he looks at you right now?”
“Would it be helpful to talk about the difference between conviction and shame?”
“Would you be open to considering how Christ meets us when we confess sin and need renewal?”
Part 8: Silence Practice
Silence can make room for honesty and discernment.
Complete the following sentences.
When silence happens in a coaching conversation, I usually feel:
I am tempted to fill silence because:
A helpful phrase I can use to make silence safe is:
Examples:
“Take your time.”
“We do not need to rush.”
“I am comfortable sitting quietly for a moment.”
“What are you noticing as we pause?”
Part 9: Summarizing Practice
Write a summary that gathers Eli’s story without judging or diagnosing him.
Your summary should include:
His presenting concern
His shame before God
His work and relationship struggles
His late-night online habits
His family story
His desire for direction
A possible next step focus
Your Summary
Helpful example:
“Let me see if I am hearing you. You came in saying you keep making bad decisions and feel like you are disappointing God. We also named work inconsistency, conflict with your girlfriend, late-night online habits, shame that keeps you from prayer, and an old family message that you are irresponsible. You want direction, but it may be important that the next step is one you own before God. Did I hear that accurately?”
Part 10: Wise Questions Instead of Quick Advice
Eli asks, “Can you just tell me what to do?”
A Soul Coach should not take over. Write a response that honors Eli’s request but protects his ownership.
Your Response
Helpful example:
“I can help you think through options, and I can offer direction with permission, but I do not want to take over what belongs to you before God. Would it be helpful if we discerned one faithful step together?”
Part 11: Scripture With Permission
Choose one Scripture passage that might fit Eli’s situation.
Possible passages:
James 1:19–20
Romans 12:1–2
1 John 1:9
Matthew 11:28
Galatians 5:22–23
Psalm 139:23–24
Proverbs 3:5–6
Scripture Chosen
Why this passage might fit
Permission-based way to offer it
Example:
“May I share a passage that speaks to confession and God’s faithfulness?”
Follow-up question after reading the Scripture
Example:
“How do you hear God’s invitation in that passage?”
Part 12: Prayer With Permission
Write two ways to ask permission before praying.
Option 1
Option 2
Now write a brief prayer that avoids preaching at Eli.
Brief Prayer
Lord Jesus,
Amen.
Prayer reminder: Do not use prayer as a hidden lecture. Do not pray the person into your preferred plan. Pray for grace, truth, wisdom, courage, repentance, support, and one faithful next step.
Part 13: The 15-Aspect Listening Lens
Use the 15-Aspect Soul Growth Discernment Model to notice whole-person themes in Eli’s story.
Do not try to address every aspect in one conversation. This is listening practice.
1. Faith Aspect
What might Eli believe about God right now?
2. Identity Aspect
What false label might Eli be living under?
3. Spiritual Practice Aspect
How is shame affecting prayer?
4. Embodied Life Aspect
How might late nights be affecting him physically?
5. Emotional Aspect
What emotions seem present?
6. Thought and Mindset Aspect
What repeating thought may be shaping him?
7. Moral Aspect
What responsibility does Eli need to own?
8. Relational Aspect
How are his choices affecting his girlfriend?
9. Family Story Aspect
How might his father’s words still echo?
10. Communication Aspect
What conversation may Eli need to have?
11. Stewardship Aspect
What needs wiser stewardship?
12. Calling and Vocation Aspect
How might work inconsistency affect his calling?
13. Justice and Boundary Aspect
What boundary may be needed?
14. Beauty and Joy Aspect
Where might healthy joy or rest be missing?
15. Community and Kingdom Aspect
Who could support Eli wisely?
Part 14: Narrowing the Focus
From Eli’s story, choose three possible focus areas.
Focus Area 1
Why it matters:
Focus Area 2
Why it matters:
Focus Area 3
Why it matters:
Now choose one focus area for the first next step.
First Focus Area
Why this is wise:
Part 15: One Faithful Next Step
A faithful next step should be:
Concrete — clear enough to practice
Owned — chosen by Eli, not forced by the coach
Realistic — possible this week
Christ-centered — connected to grace, truth, repentance, wisdom, or obedience
Supported — connected to prayer, Scripture, community, resource, or referral when needed
Write three possible next steps Eli might choose.
Possible Next Step 1
Possible Next Step 2
Possible Next Step 3
Now write the question you would ask Eli to help him choose.
Helpful example:
“Of these possible steps, which one do you sense is yours to take before God this week?”
Part 16: Safety and Referral Awareness
Soul Coaches must know when a concern is beyond their role.
Questions to Consider
Does Eli mention self-harm, suicidal thoughts, abuse, addiction crisis, severe depression, severe anxiety, threats of harm, medical concerns, legal concerns, or danger to himself or others?
Circle one:
Yes / No / Not sure
Explain:
What follow-up question might be appropriate if you are concerned?
Who might need to be involved if the concern is beyond Soul Coaching?
Circle any that apply:
Pastor
Elder
Licensed counselor
Doctor
Crisis service
Recovery group
Legal authority
Trusted mentor
Family support
Other: _______________________________
Referral Language Practice
Write one sentence you could say if Eli needs support beyond Soul Coaching.
Helpful example:
“This matters deeply, and it deserves more support than I am trained to provide as a Soul Coach. I would like to help you connect with appropriate care.”
Part 17: Christian Growth Resource Connection
A Christian Growth resource may support Eli, but it should not be used as pressure or punishment.
Which resources might fit Eli’s situation?
Circle one or more:
Introduction to Spiritual Growth
Anger Reset
Christian Gratitude Growth
Christian Marriage Growth
Identity-focused resource
Confidence-focused resource
Discipline or habit-focused resource
Mentoring or small group support
Other: _______________________________
Write a permission-based way to offer a resource.
Helpful example:
“Would a Christian Growth resource on spiritual practices or identity feel supportive as you work on this next step, or would another kind of support be better right now?”
Part 18: Fill-in-the-Blank Coaching Language
Complete each sentence.
“Thank you for trusting me with ______________________________.”
“What I hear you saying is ______________________________.”
“Tell me if I am hearing this correctly: ______________________________.”
“Would it be helpful to explore ______________________________?”
“May I ask a spiritual question about ______________________________?”
“What do you sense God may be inviting you to notice about ______________________________?”
“What is one faithful step you could take regarding ______________________________?”
“Who could support you as you practice ______________________________?”
“Would Scripture be welcome as we think about ______________________________?”
“Would you like to pray about ______________________________?”
Part 19: Coach Reflection
Answer honestly.
What advice would you be tempted to give Eli too quickly?
What part of Eli’s story would be easy for you to overlook?
How could you avoid taking over when he asks, “Can you just tell me what to do?”
How could you speak truth without shaming him?
How could you keep Jesus Christ at the center of the conversation?
What would it look like to be “swift to hear” with Eli?
Prayer
Lord Jesus Christ,
teach me to listen before leading.
Make me swift to hear, slow to speak, and slow to anger.
Help me reflect with humility, ask wise questions, and honor the person’s agency before you.
Keep me from rushing to advice, using Scripture carelessly, praying hidden lectures, or taking responsibility that belongs to another person.
Give me discernment to recognize safety concerns and courage to refer wisely.
Help me guide one faithful next step with grace and truth.
Amen.
Final Reflection
Complete the following statements.
The conversation skill I most need to practice is:
One phrase I can use to slow myself down is:
One permission-based question I want to remember is:
One way I can honor agency in a coaching conversation is:
One way I can keep Christ at the center is:
Simple Practice for This Week
This week, practice listening in an ordinary conversation.
Do not give advice unless asked.
Do not interrupt.
Do not rush to a Bible verse.
Do not tell a similar story from your life.
Instead, practice:
Listening
Reflecting
Asking one open-ended question
Allowing silence
Summarizing what you heard
Afterward, privately answer:
What did I hear that I might have missed if I talked too quickly?
What reflection did I offer?
What question helped the person say more?
What did silence feel like?
What did I learn about listening before leading?