📝 Worksheet 1.5: Personal Conflict Inventory and Opening Prayer
📝 Worksheet 1.5: Personal Conflict Inventory and Opening Prayer
Course: Navigating Conflict in Christ
Topic 1: What Is Navigating Conflict in Christ?
Purpose of This Worksheet
This worksheet helps you begin the course as a participant, not a spectator.
You are invited to bring one real conflict, tension, wound, or relational struggle before Jesus Christ. You do not need to solve it today. You do not need to confront anyone today. You do not need to figure out every detail.
The first step is simple and honest:
Bring the conflict into the presence of Christ.
Jesus says in John 14:27 that He gives His peace, not as the world gives. Romans 12:18 teaches us to pursue peace as much as it depends on us. This worksheet will help you begin that journey with prayer, truth, humility, and wisdom.
Important Safety Note
Do not use this worksheet to pressure yourself into an unsafe conversation.
If your conflict involves violence, coercion, threats, stalking, sexual abuse, child abuse, severe intimidation, criminal behavior, or immediate danger, seek appropriate outside help. That may include emergency services, legal protection, pastoral care, licensed counseling, mandatory reporting, or specialized support.
Forgiveness does not mean pretending harm did not happen.
Peace does not require passivity.
Reconciliation does not require a person to remain unsafe.
Step 1: Choose One Conflict to Bring Before God
Choose one real situation you are willing to reflect on during this course.
It may be a conflict in marriage, family, friendship, church, ministry, work, leadership, neighborhood, or another setting.
The conflict I am bringing before God is:
The main person or people involved are:
This conflict is mostly connected to:
☐ Marriage or close relationship
☐ Family
☐ Friendship
☐ Church or ministry
☐ Workplace or team
☐ Leadership responsibility
☐ Neighbor or community
☐ Someone who opposes me
☐ Other: ______________________________________
Step 2: Describe What Happened
Write the facts as simply as you can.
Try to separate what happened from what you assumed, interpreted, or feared.
What happened?
What was said or done?
What do I know for sure?
What am I assuming or interpreting?
Step 3: Notice What Is Happening in You
Conflict affects the heart, mind, body, and spirit.
Be honest without judging yourself too quickly.
When I think about this conflict, I feel:
☐ Angry
☐ Hurt
☐ Afraid
☐ Ashamed
☐ Defensive
☐ Sad
☐ Confused
☐ Disrespected
☐ Powerless
☐ Betrayed
☐ Embarrassed
☐ Tired
☐ Numb
☐ Other: ______________________________________
Where do I feel this conflict in my body?
☐ Tight chest
☐ Upset stomach
☐ Tense shoulders
☐ Headache
☐ Heavy fatigue
☐ Racing thoughts
☐ Trouble sleeping
☐ Other: ______________________________________
What sentence keeps replaying in my mind?
Step 4: Identify Your Usual Conflict Pattern
When conflict ignites, people often develop patterns.
Check any that describe your usual response.
☐ I fight back quickly.
☐ I withdraw and go silent.
☐ I explain myself repeatedly.
☐ I try to control the outcome.
☐ I avoid the person.
☐ I complain to someone else.
☐ I become sarcastic.
☐ I assume the worst.
☐ I try to keep everyone happy.
☐ I become emotionally intense.
☐ I pretend nothing is wrong.
☐ I replay the conversation many times.
☐ I look for proof that I am right.
☐ I blame myself for everything.
☐ I blame the other person for everything.
☐ I pray before responding.
☐ I slow down and seek wisdom.
My most common conflict pattern is:
Step 5: Name the Possible Wildfire
The Wildfire is a conflict response fueled by the flesh. It may spread through anger, fear, pride, revenge, self-protection, bitterness, gossip, control, or withdrawal.
What may be feeding the Wildfire in me?
☐ Anger
☐ Fear
☐ Pride
☐ Hurt
☐ Shame
☐ Bitterness
☐ Revenge
☐ Gossip
☐ Control
☐ Self-protection
☐ Desire to win
☐ Desire to be seen as right
☐ Desire to avoid discomfort
☐ Desire to punish the other person
☐ Other: ______________________________________
The Wildfire response I am most tempted toward is:
Step 6: Listen for the Peacefire Invitation
The Peacefire is the place where you turn toward God in conflict. You listen, surrender, receive grace, and ask Jesus for the next faithful step.
Pause and pray:
Lord Jesus, what are You showing me in this conflict?
What might Jesus be inviting me to notice?
What might Jesus be inviting me to surrender?
What might Jesus be inviting me to confess?
What might Jesus be inviting me to receive from Him?
Step 7: Discern What Is Mine and What Is Not Mine
Romans 12:18 says, “If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.”
This means you have responsibility before God, but you do not have control over everything.
What is mine to own before God?
What is not mine to control?
What may the other person need to own?
What must I entrust to God?
Step 8: Consider the Next Faithful Step
Do not rush this step. The next faithful step may be small.
It may be prayer.
It may be silence for a short time.
It may be asking for counsel.
It may be confession.
It may be listening.
It may be preparing a conversation.
It may be setting a boundary.
It may be seeking help.
It may be waiting until your heart is ready.
My next faithful step may be:
☐ Pray before responding.
☐ Wait and slow down.
☐ Write out what I need to say before speaking.
☐ Ask a wise Christian leader or mentor for counsel.
☐ Confess my part without excuse.
☐ Ask a clarifying question.
☐ Listen before defending myself.
☐ Speak truth in love.
☐ Stop gossiping or rehearsing the grievance.
☐ Set a wise boundary.
☐ Seek outside help because safety or serious harm is involved.
☐ Other: ______________________________________
The next faithful step I will take is:
When will I take this step?
Step 9: Opening Prayer
Use this prayer slowly. Add your own words where needed.
Lord Jesus,
I bring this conflict before You.
You know what happened.
You know what I feel.
You know what I fear.
You know where I have been hurt.
You know where I have sinned.
You know what I can control and what I cannot control.
Teach me not to feed the Wildfire.
Teach me to return to the Peacefire of Your presence.
Give me humility to own my part.
Give me courage to speak truth in love.
Give me wisdom to know when to wait, when to act, when to confess, when to forgive, and when to set a boundary.
Protect me from bitterness, revenge, fear, and pride.
Help me seek peace as far as it depends on me.
Form in me the mind of Christ.
Amen.
Step 10: One-Sentence Course Commitment
Complete this sentence:
During this course, I am asking Jesus to help me become someone who…
Peacefire Reminder
Before moving to the next lesson, pause and ask:
What is feeding the Wildfire in me?
How is Jesus inviting me back to the Peacefire?
What is my next faithful step?