🎥 Video 11A: PeaceSmart Marriage: Love, Submission, and the Peacefire

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Professor Brian DeCook.

Marriage can be one of the most beautiful places to practice the Peacefire.

It can also be one of the places where the Wildfire spreads quickly.

A look.
A tone.
A repeated complaint.
A forgotten promise.
A financial pressure.
A parenting disagreement.
A wound from years ago.

In marriage, conflict often feels bigger because the relationship is close. The person who can comfort you deeply can also hurt you deeply.

Ephesians 5 begins its marriage teaching with these words: “subjecting yourselves to one another in the fear of Christ.”

That means Christian marriage is not a battle for control. It is a covenant relationship where both husband and wife are called to live before Christ.

The Peacefire asks a different question than the Wildfire.

The Wildfire asks, “How do I win?”
The Peacefire asks, “How do I love in truth before Jesus?”

The Wildfire asks, “How do I make my spouse change?”
The Peacefire asks, “Lord, what is mine to own?”

The Wildfire asks, “How do I protect my pride?”
The Peacefire asks, “What would please Christ here?”

PeaceSmart marriage does not mean avoiding hard conversations. Love tells the truth. Love listens. Love confesses. Love forgives. Love rebuilds trust slowly when trust has been damaged.

But love does not excuse harm.

Marriage language must never be used to justify coercion, intimidation, threats, violence, sexual abuse, or ongoing destructive control. Submission does not mean permission for abuse. Forgiveness does not require unsafe access. Covenant does not erase the need for protection, accountability, or outside help when serious harm is present.

A PeaceSmart marriage returns to the presence of Christ.

Both spouses ask, “Are we feeding the Wildfire, or are we returning to the Peacefire?”

Sometimes the next faithful step is an apology.

Sometimes it is a listening conversation.

Sometimes it is counseling or pastoral help.

Sometimes it is a clear boundary.

Sometimes it is repentance shown over time.

In marriage, peace is not shallow quiet. Peace is Christ-centered faithfulness.

Before moving on, ask: In my closest relationships, do I use conflict to protect myself, or to return to Christ and practice truthful love?


آخر تعديل: السبت، 20 يونيو 2026، 5:48 AM