📝 Worksheet 3.5: Peacefire Purpose Discernment

Here is Worksheet 3.5 for Topic 3, The Lord’s Purpose in Conflict.

Purpose

This worksheet helps you slow down in a conflict and ask:

Lord, what are You doing here?

The goal is not to pretend the conflict is good. The goal is to discern how God may be present, what He may be revealing, and what next faithful step He may be inviting you to take.

Choose one real conflict that is current or recent. Do not choose a situation that is actively dangerous. If the conflict involves abuse, coercion, threats, violence, stalking, sexual abuse, child abuse, criminal behavior, or serious danger, seek appropriate outside help and protection before using this worksheet for direct action.

Opening Prayer

Lord Jesus,
You are present in this conflict. Help me see more than my fear, anger, hurt, or desire to control the outcome. Show me what is true. Reveal what You are forming in me. Give me humility to receive correction, courage to speak truth, wisdom to set boundaries, and faith to take the next faithful step. Amen.

Part 1: Name the Conflict

Who is involved?

What happened?

What makes this conflict difficult for you?

What do you most want to happen?

What are you afraid might happen?

Part 2: Ask the Peacefire Question

Write the question slowly:

Lord, what are You doing here?

Now sit with that question before answering.

What might God be revealing in this conflict?

☐ Something in my heart
☐ Something in the relationship
☐ Something that needs correction
☐ Something that needs confession
☐ Something that needs protection
☐ Something that needs patience
☐ Something that needs truth spoken in love
☐ Something that needs forgiveness
☐ Something that needs a boundary
☐ Something I do not yet understand

Write your honest response:

Part 3: What Is God Revealing in Me?

Psalm 139:23–24 says:

“Search me, God, and know my heart. Try me, and know my thoughts. See if there is any wicked way in me, and lead me in the everlasting way.”

Use this Scripture as a prayer.

What emotions are strongest in me right now?

☐ Anger
☐ Fear
☐ Shame
☐ Sadness
☐ Defensiveness
☐ Resentment
☐ Confusion
☐ Grief
☐ Pride
☐ Anxiety
☐ Hurt
☐ Other: _______________________________________________

What desire may be governing my heart?

☐ To be respected
☐ To be understood
☐ To be appreciated
☐ To be safe
☐ To be right
☐ To stay in control
☐ To avoid shame
☐ To avoid rejection
☐ To win
☐ To escape
☐ To repair the relationship
☐ Other: _______________________________________________

Has this desire become a demand?

A desire says: “This matters to me.”
A demand says: “I must have this, or I am justified in reacting from the flesh.”

Complete this sentence:

I want ______________________________ so much that I am tempted to

__________________________________________________________________.

Part 4: What Correction Might I Need to Receive?

Correction can be painful, but God can use it as a path of life.

Hebrews 12 teaches that God disciplines His children for their good, so that they may share His holiness.

Is there any correction in this conflict that I need to test before God?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Maybe
☐ I am resisting the question

What part of the correction may be true?

What part may be false, unclear, exaggerated, or incomplete?

What do I need to clarify before responding?

What would it look like to receive what is true without collapsing into shame?

Part 5: What Might God Be Forming in Me?

Romans 8:28–29 teaches that God is working to conform His people to the image of His Son.

In this conflict, God may be forming:

☐ Humility
☐ Patience
☐ Courage
☐ Truthfulness
☐ Gentleness
☐ Self-control
☐ Forgiveness
☐ Wisdom
☐ Endurance
☐ Love
☐ Discernment
☐ Dependence on Christ
☐ Willingness to confess
☐ Willingness to set a boundary
☐ Other: _______________________________________________

Which of these do you most need right now?

Why?

How might this conflict become a place of Christian formation rather than only frustration?

Part 6: Thanksgiving Without Denial

First Thessalonians 5:18 says:

“In everything give thanks, for this is the will of God in Christ Jesus toward you.”

Thanksgiving does not mean calling evil good. It does not mean thanking God for sin, harm, abuse, or injustice as though those things are holy. It means turning toward God’s presence and faithfulness in the middle of the situation.

What can you honestly thank God for without denying the pain?

☐ God is present
☐ God sees clearly
☐ God can give wisdom
☐ God can form Christ in me
☐ God can guide my next step
☐ God can help me confess
☐ God can help me forgive
☐ God can help me set boundaries
☐ God can bring wise help
☐ God’s grace is enough for this moment

Write one honest thanksgiving prayer:

Father, I do not thank You for sin or harm, but I thank You that

__________________________________________________________________.

Part 7: Purpose Before Strategy

Before deciding what to do, ask what God may be doing.

What strategy am I tempted to choose too quickly?

☐ Defend myself
☐ Send a message
☐ Confront
☐ Withdraw
☐ Quit
☐ Accuse
☐ Gather allies
☐ Stay silent
☐ Apologize too quickly to manage the other person
☐ Set a boundary
☐ Seek outside help
☐ Other: _______________________________________________

Could this strategy become Strangefire if I use it in my own power or with the wrong spirit?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Maybe

What motive needs to be surrendered before I act?

What would a Christ-shaped response require?

Part 8: Discern the Next Faithful Step

Romans 12:18 says:

“If it is possible, as much as it is up to you, be at peace with all men.”

You are not responsible for controlling the whole outcome. You are responsible for your faithful part.

What is mine to do?

What is not mine to control?

What is one next faithful step?

☐ Pray before responding
☐ Wait until I can respond wisely
☐ Ask a clarifying question
☐ Listen before defending
☐ Receive correction
☐ Confess my part
☐ Apologize without excuse
☐ Speak truth in love
☐ Refuse gossip
☐ Stop rehearsing the offense
☐ Seek wise counsel
☐ Set a boundary
☐ Seek protection or outside help
☐ Entrust the outcome to God
☐ Other: _______________________________________________

My next faithful step is:

Part 9: Safety, Role, and Wisdom Check

Before taking action, answer honestly.

Is a direct conversation wise and safe right now?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ Not yet
☐ I need counsel first

Am I the right person to take this step?

☐ Yes
☐ No
☐ I am not sure
☐ Someone with proper authority or training needs to be involved

Could this conflict require outside help?

☐ No
☐ Pastoral counsel may help
☐ A mature mediator may help
☐ Organizational or church leadership may need to be involved
☐ Licensed counseling may be needed
☐ Legal, emergency, or protective help may be needed

What would wisdom require before I act?

Part 10: Closing Commitment

Complete these sentences.

In this conflict, I believe God may be inviting me to grow in

__________________________________________________________________.

I need to surrender

__________________________________________________________________.

I need to receive

__________________________________________________________________.

I need to stop

__________________________________________________________________.

I need to take this next faithful step:

__________________________________________________________________.

The outcome I need to entrust to God is

__________________________________________________________________.

Closing Prayer

Lord Jesus,
I bring this conflict into Your presence. I do not want to be ruled by fear, anger, pride, shame, or control. Search me and lead me in the everlasting way. Help me receive correction without condemnation, give thanks without denial, and act with wisdom instead of reaction. Show me what is mine to do and what I must entrust to You. Form me more deeply into Your likeness. Amen.

Scripture for Meditation

“For it is God who works in you both to will and to work, for his good pleasure.”
Philippians 2:13, WEB