🎥 Video 2A: Two Fires in Every Coaching Conversation

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Professor Brian DeCook.

In every conflict-coaching conversation, two fires may be present.

One fire is the Wildfire.

Wildfire is the flesh-driven reaction that spreads harm. It may look like anger, defensiveness, blame, gossip, accusation, control, manipulation, revenge, withdrawal, contempt, or panic. Sometimes Wildfire is loud. Sometimes it is quiet. A person may not be yelling, but inside they may be rehearsing every wrong, building a case, and planning how to win.

The other fire is the Peacefire.

Peacefire is the place of conscious reliance on God’s presence and work in conflict. Peacefire does not mean pretending the conflict is small. It does not mean silence when truth is needed. It does not mean rushing into reconciliation when safety, repentance, or wisdom are absent.

Peacefire means returning to Christ before reacting from fear, pride, anger, shame, or control.

James 3 describes two kinds of wisdom. One wisdom is earthly, sensual, and demonic. It produces jealousy, selfish ambition, confusion, and every evil practice. The wisdom from above is pure, peaceful, gentle, reasonable, full of mercy and good fruits.

That passage gives Peacefire Coach Ministers a powerful discernment question: What kind of wisdom is shaping this response?

In a coaching conversation, the minister must not become another source of Wildfire. The person may come in heated, wounded, offended, confused, or convinced that the other person is entirely wrong. The coach’s first calling is not to agree quickly, fix quickly, quote Scripture quickly, or choose sides quickly.

The coach’s first calling is to remain in Christ.

Galatians 5 contrasts the works of the flesh with the fruit of the Spirit. The works of the flesh include hostility, jealousy, outbursts of anger, rivalries, divisions, and envy. The fruit of the Spirit includes love, joy, peace, patience, kindness, goodness, faith, gentleness, and self-control.

A Peacefire Coach Minister listens for both.

Where is the Wildfire spreading?

Where is the Holy Spirit inviting surrender?

Where is the person reacting?

Where is Christ calling the person to a next faithful step?

The coach may say, “I can hear how painful this has been. Before we decide what should happen next, would it be okay if we slow down and notice what this conflict is doing inside you?”

That question does not shame the person. It does not excuse harm. It invites discernment.

The Peacefire Coach Minister helps people move from reaction to reliance.

Conflict may still be difficult. The other person may not change. Reconciliation may not happen soon. A firebreak may be needed.

But the person can still return to Christ.

That is where Peacefire Ministry begins.