🎥 Video 2B: Mapping Event, Interpretation, Desire, Response, and Spread

Hi, I am Haley Steiner, a CLI presenter.

This course is taught by Professor Brian DeCook.

One of the most useful Peacefire tools is the conflict map.

The map is simple:

Event. Interpretation. Desire. Response. Spread.

The event is what happened.

Someone said something. Someone failed to show up. A decision was made. A text message was sent. A meeting went badly. A leader felt ignored. A spouse felt dismissed. A friend felt betrayed.

The event matters. We do not minimize it. But the event is not the whole conflict.

The interpretation is the meaning the person attached to the event.

“They do not respect me.”

“She is trying to control me.”

“He does not care about our ministry.”

“They are pushing me out.”

“This always happens.”

“Nothing will ever change.”

Sometimes the interpretation is accurate. Sometimes it is partly accurate. Sometimes it is distorted by fear, past wounds, pride, exhaustion, or incomplete information.

The Peacefire Coach Minister does not attack the interpretation. The coach helps the person examine it before God.

A helpful question is, “What did that moment mean to you?”

Another is, “Is there another possible explanation, or are you confident this is what was happening?”

The third part is desire.

James 4 asks, “Where do wars and fightings among you come from? Don’t they come from your pleasures that war in your members?”

Desire is not always evil. People may desire respect, safety, honesty, closeness, fairness, peace, loyalty, recognition, or repair. Those can be good desires.

But good desires can become ruling demands.

“I must be understood.”

“I must be vindicated.”

“They must apologize now.”

“This must go my way.”

“They must feel what I felt.”

When desire becomes demand, Wildfire spreads quickly.

The fourth part is response.

What did the person do?

Did they yell, withdraw, gossip, threaten, manipulate, flatter, avoid, accuse, pray, listen, ask for help, or pause?

The response reveals the fire shaping the heart.

The fifth part is spread.

How has this conflict moved beyond the original event?

Has it spread into the marriage, the family, the church, the workplace, the small group, social media, sleep patterns, health, prayer life, leadership, or trust in God?

This map helps the coach slow the conflict down.

Instead of saying, “What should we do about them?” the coach can ask, “Can we walk through what happened, what it meant to you, what you wanted, how you responded, and where this has spread?”

That question gives the person room to tell the truth.

It also helps the coach stay in role.

The Peacefire Coach Minister is not a judge, therapist, investigator, or legal advisor. The minister is helping the person discern their next faithful step in Christ.

The map does not solve every conflict.

But it helps the person stop feeding the Wildfire and begin returning to the Peacefire.